ITT: the darkest and most offensive joke you know, now with

I'll start

even though I created this thread, I'm not racist, because racism is a crime and crime is for niggers

>>587271507
a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's destroying his family

I got fired as a lifeguard yesterday. Apparently, the kids have to be drowning BEFORE you can kiss'em.

the darkest and most offensive joke I know is easily obama

Do you know why Kinder Egg is white inside and black on the outside?

If it was black inside, he would steal the toy

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How do make a three year old cry twice in a row?
>Wipe your bloodied cock all over their face when your done.

What do you do to a blind dumb and deaf woman after you rape her?

>You break her fingers so that she can't tell anyone

Feminism

>>587271507
So I was waiting at the train station this morning, when there was this nigger with this bike.
I watched them and I knew I had seen it somewhere before.

That's when I realised it looked like mine!
So I ditched waiting and hurried home, checking if it was still there.

It was, polishing my boots.

>>587272200
damn, beat me to it. good one though

Whats the hardest thing about putting a baby in a blender?

>Holding the camera still while you're jerking off

what are the similarities between a jew and a stiff nipple?

they both disappear after a hot shower

>>587271507
9/11

Not the darkest or the worst but here I go

Q: What did God say when he made the first black man?
A: "Oh fuck, I burnt it!"

How do you get a gay dude to have sex with a woman?
Shit in her cunt.
- Jimmy Carr

What's the best part about fucking twenty thrre years old ? There is twenty of them

> white woman and black man in bed about to have sex for the first time

Her: alright lets see what you black men are famous for.

He stabs her and steals her purse.

what do you call a bunch of black dots running down a hill?

jailbreak

What's red, sitting in the corner, constantly getting smaller ? A baby with a cheese grater

What breaks when you screw a three-year old? Her hips.

What's red and sits in the corner? A baby chewing on razorblades.

What's blue and sits in the corner? A baby with a bag over it's head.

What's green and sits in the corner? The same baby 6 weeks later.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? I can't pick up bowling balls with a pitchfork.

where did the little girl go after the explosion?

everywhere!

What is a nigger with a knife in his back?
A dangerous criminal for illegal weapon possession.

What's a nigger with three knifes in his back?
One hundred and eighty.

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>>587272295

>>587273322
he jerks off AFTER he puts the baby in the blender, stupid dickbrained fuck

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>>587273464

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet?
>The finish line at the Boston Marathon

>>587272295
Its called a tripod asshat

>>587271507
Why did Sally fall off her bike?
>She has no arms

>Knock knock
Who's there?
>Not Sally

What's blue and veiny and makes your wife cry when you put it in her mouth?

Her stillborn.


How do you get 5 babies into a bucket?

With a blender!

How do you get them out again?

Nachos!

>>587271507

the NAACP

>>587273179
te he he

>>587271507
A rape victim walks into a bar, drinks a spiked drink, and gets raped again.

>>587274074
A rape victim walks into a bar.
Just kidding women can't be raped.

What the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich ?

I don't fuck a sandwich before I eat it.

How do you know your Sister is on her period?

>Your dad's cock tastes like blood.

>>587271507
My regular Indian taxi driver picked me up whilst singing along to his crappy Punjabi music at the top of his voice.

He smiled when I pulled out my set of new ear plugs, "Looks like you've come prepared this time," he said laughing.

I smiled back at him and replied, "Yes," as I put them up my nostrils.

whats the similarity between a nigger and a bike?

they need a chain to be functional

>>587274950
You would be happy if a bike stole your nigger.

>>587272295
>the hardest
his dick

>>587273657
i like this one

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What is black and blue, and sits on a corner?

dead NYPD cops in squad car.

>>587271856
Hahahaha. Actually laughed out loud

>>587271641
>he is an alcohol and it's destroying his family
>he is an alcohol
>an alcohol
>two alcohols

>>587272093
Dont get it... a person like couldn't sign

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>>587271507
I don't think which is more shocking for my wife, the fact that I fucked our daughter or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

>>587273294
Don't get the second one

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>>587276025
You never played pic related?

>>587272827
Okay. I lol'd a little.

>>587276220
Ohhhhh shit, lol that's pretty good. Darts didn't cross my mind, cause of the knives

> Why do niggers only have nightmares?

Because all their dreams were shot down.

>>587275525
newfag

>>587276220
>
Wow, that's an obscure reference.

OK...
A Missouri bar is offering The Michael Brown drink special: Six shots of something.

Q. What would Michael Brown be doing if he were alive today?
A. Clawing frantically at the inside of his coffin.

>>587273322
>blender
>draws bucket

what do you call a jew that can fly?
>smoke

Q: Why is AIDS a miracle?
A: It turns fruits into vegetables.

A man and his son are standing in Auschwitz, looking at a pair of chimneys spewing black smoke into the sky.

"Dad, why is the smoke so black?" the boy asked his father.

"Well, son" the father replied "they forgot to take the rubber boots off grandpa."

>>587278183
That's offensive, my grandfather died in a concentration camp.

>>587278462

He fell out of the guard tower?

>>587278566
Yes.

>>587278642

Sorry about your gramps, bro.

How about a classic.

What's the three things a nigger can't get?

A fat lip, a black eye and a job.

Q: How do you know an africans teeth out?
A: Paint a rock to look like a dinner roll

Q: What's the national dish of Somalia?
A: Empty Plate

Q: How do you get a baby to stop crawling in cirlces?
A: You nail the other hand to the floor

Q: What's 30 cm long, black and blue and will make a woman cry all night?
A: Sudden infant death syndrome

Little Jonny is sitting in class and the teacher brings out three different types of meats for the students to taste and guess what they are. Little Jonny gets the first two : ham and beef but he can't get the third one. So the teacher offers him a hint. What does your dad call your mom when he gets home from work. Then someone in the back row yells "Spit it out Jonny it's an asshole!"

>>587275690
Helen Keller could dickwad

What's got 3 heads, 4 arms, and 6 legs?

>The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

>>587271507
Q: What is green an mows the lawn?
A: You can paint your nigger how you like.

>>587280971
The teacher said the kids at Sandy Hook would be reading books, but instead they were given magazines.

>>587271779
>>587271963
>>587272009
>>587272093
>>587272636
>>587272639
>>587272827
>>587272880
>>587273796
>>587274074
>>587274644
>>587275372
>>587276667

1/10 try harder edgefags

>>587273657
Best in the thread

>>587281186
BUTTMAD SJW DETECTED

Q: How tall was was the tallest jew?
A: 10 feet darting flame.

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>>587272636

>>587281523
Nah, they're just shit/predictable jokes or edgy statements trying to ellicit responses from SJWs. Not actually funny, just shocking.

>>587273657
Oh shit, totally missed this when I posted it.

How about this:

What's red, 6 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
>Her miscarriage

>>587274880
Lost. I was working in a building with loads of Indians once and when I went to the bathroom, the place fucking STUNK of curry, holy fuck. I spent the entire piss laughing to myself.

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?
The pizza doesn't cry when it goes to the oven

>>587271507
Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon?
Ones fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The others a watermelon

What's a jews favorite part of a car? The GAS pedal.

>>587281994
And what the fuck do you think this thread is all about?

>Darkest and most offensive jokes
Now tell me where it says "good", dear anon?

what can pizza delivery man due that a black man can not do? Feed a family

I hate paedophiles, they're just fucking immature assholes.

Nigger hates new baby brother yay! 85% child mortality in sandniggerstan

>>587278462
Reminds me of how my grandfather. Died in a concentration camp when a guard fell on him.

>>587283386
Could it be...?

What do you call a million dead people from india? a good start.

>>587271507
what do you call five niggers having sex?
a threesome

>>587283521
from a guard tower, actually...

A man walks in the bar with à monkey i forgot the rest of the story anyway your Mom is à whore

What do you do after you've had the smoothest and tightest pussy ever?
> Put her back in the crib.

>>587283736
i dont get it

>>587284078
3/5 of a person, for the census

>>587283917
So it is true then...

>>587284216
why are you ruining the joke?

>>587283736
I call it a bonobo orgy

>>587284078
three-fifths compromise

What's the difference between a baby and a table?

You can't fuck a table.

How do you know your dad is on his periods ?? Your grandma's cock tastes blood

>>587284268
It appears my grandfather died because he fell on yours.

The government is like a box of chocolate it bombs you n take your Oil for freedom and democracy

>>587285202
You fucking ruined the joke, good job.

>>587272009
>teddy bear

What's black and eats pussy?

Cervical cancer

>>587285276
I fucked your mother.
Big difference.

>>587271507

What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?

- I don't cum in a sandwich before eating it.


How did the dead baby cross the road?

- It's entrails were still stuck to my dick.

>>587275525
How new are you exactly?