Story thread >Be me at police station in NZ >Waiting for

why are IDs even back?

Nigga why you stole my flag

Go on.

Wellyfag lurkin

>Member of public starts getting louder with officer as he clearly explains process.
>(Typical new zealander doesnt listen to any instruction and just thinks what they want is best)
>Arrogant cunts
>carry on, Member of public is with wife who buts in, Explains how there are 5 of these things aged around 5-12.
>All Maori kids up far north,
>This is where i lost my shit in the cop shop.
>Wife pulls outs phone with photos of the kids watching the parents have a fuck,
>Officer takes the phone, realizes what it is,
>Quickly grabs evidence bag, ploop, in goes the phone.
>Wife is taken under arrest for the pictures,
>Husband is freaking the fuck out
>Gets abusing, yells, also under arrest
>There is me loosing my shit in the corner and cop just comes over and tells me to keep my shit together

>>581638971
you cheeky cunt

Dunedin

>>581638971

Continue

fucko i killed my arm

Thread is faggotry. Some friendly kiwis and Maoris could give a fuck less. Just shut up and wait for your friend or go home and sleep or something.

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Fuck you cunt and fuck your rat cunt friend

>>581638971
Continue!

>>581641249
This

>>581638971
This is really unclear. Where the fuck did the wife come in from?

>>581643552
The wife was with the man, She just butted in to say her shit.

>>581644309
What an absolute dumb cunt.

>>581644309
So wtf was actually happening with the kids watching parents having sex?

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Hello, boys!

Is this really the only other thread since the other one tonight?

>So continued
>Me in corner, cop just said to shut up.
> The 2 and 3 officers go off. Behind the locked doors so no idea whats going on
>megusta.jpg
>So im sitting there again
> About 10 minutes goes by, Man comes back through the doors, Not arrested now.
>Sits near me, Says hi, Says sorry for the issue before
>I say all goods.
>He tells me the details on what they saw and shit
>Long story short
>They been seeing this for about 6 months,
>Many sex toys involved, 5 kids of theirs all present.
>No protection, etc.
>All fucking maori scum bags,

Pretty much Anon's day in a nutshell
>Oh and i did many skids in my car, Raced a C63 AMG mercedes on the motorway and raped it.
<3 supercharged V8 BMW.

>>581644441
its a fucking comfy one... :(

wanna buy a tinny?

>>581640159
>>581644649
What did you do to your arm?

>i know who this is
>you know who I am

>>581644735
I sell $50's already, Got about 30 in stock.

>>581644814
skux gee, do me mates rates cunt

>>581644735
Yes.

>>581644764
kinda blue all over.
hostmum saw it today, asked me what happened here, i didnt have a story at hand, just said i dunno...
fuck man

>>581644764
The dude who bit his arm the other night?

>>581644814
LONDON
O
N
D
O
N

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Had to nigger this up as my bong broke.
At least it was airtight as FUCK

>>581644876
All good bro, this is some dank shit bro, this is some white rhino bro, it's so rare bro, it's so skunky bro, only $20

>>581644956
You need to see someone about this, oi.

>>581644957
Didn't hear about that.

>>581645009
Where are you?

>>581644814
Sell to someone on here?

>>581644957
still a girl.
>>581645053
like a doc? do you think it can cause permanent damage?

>>581645148
Nyu zilland
I'm just joking bro I smoked all my weed and had a strange lucid dream last night

>>581645213
Ah, depressed german?

>>581645213
>do you think it can cause permanent damage?
Yes, you know it can.

I'm talking more, though, about your mental state. You're going to end up doing something you might not live to regret if you're not careful.

>>581645234
Oh. :-(

>>581644814
WEA CHU AT CHEE?
267

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>>581644956
+491623441006

Add her on whats app, German chick over here, 19, Would have a tight pussy.

>>581645497
Should i say does :3

>>581645459
It was fucking weird
I went to sleep after my friend was like "bro try lucid dream" and I just slept but then was lucid

Then I looked at my hand and had 7 fingers so I flew through the roof and chilled around, but the combination of dream/weed memory inhibition means I can't remember much after that bro

>>581645407
yeah thats me. fuck that im still depressed.
>>581645459
i know, you said that before. i do not need help
>>581645497
k. ill warn her that a creep has her number and gives it to random people on the interweb

>>581645639
Ok

>>581645639
>i do not need help
Come on, you are self harming and mentioning how depressed you are, you need help.

You actually going to make it back to Germany to see your family?

>>581645615
Lucid dreams are lovely. I often have them.

>>581645915
I've had like three recently, all have been hilarious

>>581645590
>>581645639
Fucking whiteknights and SJWs, get the fuck out of my /b/.

Heres another thing to talk about:
Bae is coming round in a couple days and I'm planning on eating her out, how do you eat out chicks?

>>581646004
I have them all night every night. It's fucking with my head.

>>581646021
I hope im the white night.
I drive round in a new BMW 550I
My Number plate is BMW550...

>>581646004
Yeah you can actually learn techniques on how to do it and control the dreams even more.

>>581645865
>>581646021
Sorry, if it would be my number written here Id be happy about everyone helping. And Au-Pairs have to stick together.
>>581645915
Yes, Ill make it back to Germany. :/ I told you Im not suicidal.

>>581637703
>>581638971
>>581644601

Are you even aware that you have the english skills of someone below the age of 12? Ausfag here. In year six I could form a more coherent story.

TL;DR You talk like a fag and your shits all retarded

>>581646127
>how do you eat out chicks?
Same as eating out boys.

It's all in the tongue.

>>581646236
>crying about your number getting given out
>not knowing how to stay anon

Then it's your fucking fault. Stop crying, bitch.

>>581646236
>I told you Im not suicidal.
I'm not so sure, noona.

>>581639894
wrong country

who here is c o m f y?

>>581646236
Au-Pairs buddies, let her know and get some pussy son!

>>581638890
Wellington master race

>>581646272
Stonned off my nut bro.
>>581646378
Too true

>>581646381
im sure. i dont feel like ending my life already.
i just feel like getting hurt really badly.
>>581646602
can you stfu, im not lesbian or anything.

BASED MASOCHISTIC NOONA

>>581646414
Comfortably comfy.

>>581646731
M8, Any hole is a goal when your some foreign cunt.

>>581646914
wrong person

>>581646978
Right person in my eyes.

>>581646964
whatever. i wrote her now, she knows.

>>581647112
how was the walk?

lol i remember what i was reposting this time last year

>>581647157
Yeah it was good. I wanted to go for a walk around the later as the sun was setting I didn't hae anyone to go with.

Well, no one in Tauranga to go with.

tfw you don't know how to greentext

I'm a kiwi and fuck me, these threads are always so fucking pathetic.
Bye

>>581647393
Same.

>>581647131
You wrote her now?
Did you message her?
What a good citizen, 24 year old virgin neckbeard who couldnt get any dick in his ass if life depended on it.

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>>581647475
see you tonight~

>>581647543
what was it?

>>581647475
>I'm a kiwi and fuck me, these threads are always so fucking pathetic.
Why are ID's even black?

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>>581647546
>What a good citizen, 24 year old virgin neckbeard who couldnt get any dick in his ass if life depended on it.

>>581647546
yes i wrote her.
and do you get it in your head now that i am a girl, m8? i do not want to have a dick in my ass. thank you

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>>581647563

>>581647631
More of the same shit I post now.

I think I did a little less whatever the fuck it is I do now and a bit more political shit.

>>581647795
i never kept conversations going in threads.

i had this one meme going where i called people braindead when they replied to my 'Reminder that weed is unhealthy for your body'

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>>581647703
Tits and timestamp.

>>581648049
gay nazi, can you explain to this newfag that im a regular and dont need to post my tits anymore?

>>581648040
My brain is so fiddled I don't remember much except Cody Harrington, hamburger guy, gay Indian, God Save the Queen and that, basically.

>tfw listening to Adele

>>581648108
I'm not sure who he is noona but he's trying hard and I suppose we ought to give him that, at least.

If this were an NCEA exam he'd get a not achieved but, horses for courses.

>>581646272

>your shits all retarded

Sorry faggot, but you should stay in gay Australia, because you clearly have shitty English skills yourself.

>>581648263
I love that part in that song of hers where she sings about exactly how she felt at the particular time when she was emotional.

It's almost like I can relate or something.

>>581648108
OK anon, Your a regular anon, Yup, No one knows who you are. You Heaven ?...

Noooo, Your SOUyepp4

ITT: New Zealanders prove how many fucktards live in this country.

Seriously, you faggots need to learn some Goddamn grammar for once in your fucking lives, and you need to think about more than hookers and blow.

Also, fuck the Maoris.

>>581648391
Go back to minecraft you ausfag. 13 year old jew.

>>581648316
>trying so hard :D
>>581648429
a lot of the people here know who i am.
just because youre a newfag you dont know, m8.

>tfw have a 200 word essay due tomorrow

>>581648498
you seem like you can help me out

>tfw Ive just been asked to be the new face of Whittakers chocolate.

hastings here

>>581648421
damn, that's pretty gay

>>581648567
Been here since 06, Def not newfag.

dunedin fag inbound

Heres my story for today

>finish work an hour ago
>while waiting for taxi i sell my last cigarette to some desperate underage kids
>get pedophile taxi driver called starsky
>the fare is already at $5.60 before we have even left wtf
>go to night and day to buy more cigs
>try to leave out door
>old drunk man tells me to 'smile' and then tries to headbutt me

:-(

>>581648852
do something oldfaggy pls

>>581648852
then you should know me, m8ey :D lol

>>581648719
Sorry.

>>581648843
Yeah, boi.

>>581648890
Should have smiled, then. Only got yourself to blame.

damn, c o m f y t i m e is the best

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>>581649006
k newfag

>>581649205
at least tell me how to greentext

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>>581649259

>>581646272
why do ausfags always need to announce to everyone where they are from as if anyone gives a fuck?

>>581648523

Ooooh, big words from a little kid. I live in Auckland, you fucktard, and I'm almost 21. Also, I fucking loathe Minecraft, and I'm not Jewish.

Did that backfire on you enough?

>>581648614

I could, except a 200-word essay is child's play, so you should be able to do it yourself. Most people should be able to do it in their sleep.

>>581649417
if you don't even know how to greentext, then you're not an oldfag

>>581649584
>writing in your sleep
look who's a retard now

>>581649584
You are jealous that i am white and have a rich family and live in a mansion on Takapuna beach.
You are the dirty nigger scum that lives in the south. Come to my nigger free Takapuna and get shot for entering a white only zone.
Coconut cunt.

Seriously what the fuck is happening in this thread its like a cluster fuck of b8trs b8ing b8trs

>tfw you don't have any of the Beatles' albums
>not even the only good one, Abbey Road

>>581649791
its hilarious, i should get some chips. :D

>>581638971
>>This is where i lost my shit in the cop shop.
>>There is me loosing my shit in the corner and cop just comes over and tells me to keep my shit together

What were you even doing? This is a terrible story.

>>581649791
We're just killing time in between watching your mum iron our laundry.

>>581649791
who's winning tho?

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>>581649860

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tfw still don't know how to greentext

someone please end my miserable existence

>>581650056
completely not related and you don't have to answer but are you a virgin?

>>581650131
m8, you just out a ">" in front of it and then you write. :)

>>581649882
Took a mate up there so he can provide a statement for some scam he got fucked over by.
He has no license due to sustained loss of traction 3 times... Fucking idiot i know.
>>>581650131
Greentext

>>581650131
>implying any of us believe you can't.

>>581650245
Lol, why do you ask?

>>581650262
thanks i'll try it out on my next post

man i haven't done this gimmick in a while. i'm kinda excited.

>>581650245
Sadly after fucking more girls than i can count on my hands and toes , yes i am.

>>581650321
pretty sure he was asking how you were "losing your shit"

were you having a fucking seizure or something

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>>581649895
I bet your that sick fuck who compared lung fucking a dolphin to my mum sucking my toes

>>581650475
>
Cracking up, Laughing?

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>>581650523
I knew you'd come back for more, bb.

>>581650337
was semi-curious because of how gay today's thread was

>>581650627
yes! good job, m8! :))

>>581650673
I never left

>>581650713
ayy

I don't see the connection and yesterdays was really fucking gay.

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>>581650713
>was semi-curious because of how gay today's thread was
You need to pray to this image,
Then do this
Dfance 3 times around a dead nigger. Cut his dick off and put it in his mouth,
Make one of these>
>Like this
Then its green

>>581650792
>the more I get to know you
>the more I want to fuck you

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>>581650932
We can get to that tomorrow.
Im out gotta get up early to get some o dat chrisco

>>581650835
i meant yesterday's thread. i change my mind. you DO have to answer me.

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>>581651067
bi

>>581651067
gn

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>>581651067

>>581651129
Not telling.

I'll let you wonder and ponder.

>>581647461
Holy fuck I fucked up this reply.

>>581651408
i just assumed you were tired

i really wanted to watch an episode of my kdrama but guess that's not happening

>>581651554
Tired and ADHD.

:-(

You morphine man?

>>581651732
>morphine man
literally who?

>>581651783
Guy from Christchurch.

But I realised no after I saw your comment about your kdrama.

>>581651931
also semi-curious about something else.. whose ID do you highlight in every thread?

>>581652013
>whose ID do you highlight in every thread?
wot

>>581652114
click on my ID. it highlights all my posts in this thread.

where's noona?

>>581637832
To prevent cancer samefagging

>>581652202
Yeah but that's an interesting thing to ask?

I don't have anyone highlighted at any given time, sometimes I'll look through different posters but I never have anyone poster that I 'focus' on.

>>581652472
highlight mine now and forever

thanks.

>>581652421
then shouldn't all boards have IDs?

OP is a 15yr old faggot.

>>581652403
Hopefully getting help.

>>581652589
Why do you want me to highlight you? Do you think because I'm a poof that I am a hairdresser?

>>581648196
>My brain is so fiddled I don't remember
based braindead bro

>>581652731
so this >>581651732 doesn't happen again

>>581652801
S-sorry it's just there's so many IDbros I didn't think the real one was in here.

>>581652731
never! :D actually i just brushed my teeth.
and almost had a panic-attack, but other than that, im fine.

Being across the pond and getting the 'edited for foreign audiences who don't need to see the serious crimes' version of Police Ten 7, I once had the silliest case of being star struck when Lower Hutt police station called my work (multinational insurance company based out of aus).

"THE Lower Hutt police station with officers Nigel, Nigel and Neville?". We all got a kick out of that.

And thats my pointless story.

>>581652923
nah, it's cool, hyung

>>581652948
>>581652731
>Hopefully getting help.
for what?

>>581653009
u r alright

>>581653147
Her mental state.

She's self harming. She keeps mentioning things on the sly (at least what she thinks is the sly). She wants people to know what's going on but not anybody with the serious means to make professionals know about it.

>>581653269
is it because of the boyfriend thing?

>>581653489
Yeah.

It's pretty rough because, from what I've gathered talking with her these past few days through email, she's rather self concious, doesn't like herself, wants attention from boys as a form of validation but, sort of, doesn't think about peoples ulterior motives in spite of her herself having ulterior motives (she wants people to know she's depressed and shit but not people immediate to her.)

She tells me things knowing I'll pick up what she's actually saying but kind of play dumb about it.

>i know you're reading this

Fuck me these threads are tumblr tier. I'm out, ya fags.

>>581654002
the only advice i gave her was to post her feels here

>>581654194
you could've just left without saying anything. no one would've known the difference.

>>581654249
Nah, that's more of and the same, another form of validation (that isn't actual validation based on anything substantial).

She should talk with a professional but that's a bit different than what's happening now.

>be jobless anon in Tauranga
>find a job with an old connection
>he calls me a useless lazy cunt on my first day working for him
>he's an alcoholic
>my first day working for him is tomorrow
>he wants me to sober drive him on an hour trip in a ute towing a trailer
>tfw I'm on my learners and have been learning in an auto
>tfw I'm broke and really need work

What do?

>>581654408
word

but idc what someone else does to their own body and you shouldn't either.

what time are you going to bed?

>>581654596
>ute towing a trailer
>learners and have been learning in an auto
>I'm broke and really need work

Imagine how broke you'll be when you crash his ute and rekt the trailer.

>>581654596
>he calls me a useless lazy cunt on my first day working for him
>my first day working for him is tomorrow
BASED TIME TRAVELER

>>581644601
wat? someone fucked a maori kid?

>>581654685
>but idc what someone else does to their own body and you shouldn't either.
You have a point but I suppose I'm a bit of a pussy.

>what time are you going to bed?
Not sure, why do you ask? Do you want to join me?

>lel

>>581654727
The guy is offering $20 an hour cash. That's more than anywhere else. If I turn this down I probably won't get the job (paving).

>>581654802
Yeah that got me a little bit, I suppose he meant his first time working with him beforehand.

Or Tauranga anon, the other, is magical.

>pls be

>>581654596
Half of the people I run into here in Melbourne (by choice, I mean) are ex-pats from your great, backwards land, though these are all 30+ year olds who've been here since they came for the rock scene 10 years ago.

Make the jump?

>>581655002
Mate, have you driven an manuel?

It's different to an auto, aye.

Driven a ute? Their a bit powerful.

Driven with a trailer?

Sheeit.

>>581637703
Lel who stabbed who? Black Power vor Mongrel Mob?

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>>581655127
>manuel

as long as noone sends the cops after me

>>581654932
>Not sure, why do you ask?
i'm out when you're out

>Do you want to join me?
r u a qt?

>>581655012
First time talking with him. I've worked for him in the past and he's far worse than that. Throws tools at you and everything

>>581655039
I would, I'm just looking for summer work while uni is on break though

>>581655127
I've driven a manual a fair few times. Utes have a short clutch and a forgiving engine, trailers just mean drive safer and allow more room.

I'm trying to talk myself into this being okay.

>>581655416
RIP, retard

>>581655489
If you don't see me in NZ threads again, you'll know what happened.

>>581655365
I've done it before to a NZ anon, don't think I can't and won't do it again.

>>581655403
>r u a qt?
No :-(
Noona knows what I looks like.

>>581655416
>Throws tools at you and everything
Nah, I wouldn't do it. Not to be a dick but this guy will end up having a go at you for something and make you feel really shit about yourself.

Imagine if you muck up, how will he react?

NZ post is looking for posties on trademe

>>581655647
gl tho. call me if anything happens

>>581651732
Why hello

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>tfw you get hit on by a qt Filipino while clubbing
too scared that if i roll her sleeves up i would see this

>>581655647
DUN DO IT CG <3

>>581637703
That flag is pretty sweet Anon. If NZ started using that I would be hyped.

Maybe it could actually motivate Australia to get a better flag as well.

>>581655771
Yea, dude is an asshole and has made me feel shit in the past. He's been running this business for 10 years and I've worked for him for 7 months in the past and yet I'm the 3rd longest serving employee.

The only time he's good is when he's drunk; which he will be when I'm driving. Not many people are taking on students for summer work. I imagine the same is for the post office but I'll check it out.

>>581656187
BUT THE MONEY KB!

>>581656076
hai

>>581656638
is that you?

what's wrong with the resolution?

>>581656690
lel

>>581656690
Ja ist me and I made it small on purpose.

>>581657151
Nein.

>>581657265
Hahaha.

>am i qt

I suppose it's time to go to bed, ja?

>contemplating whether or not i should spam kara pictures till image limit

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>>581657457
are you avenues anon?

>>581657457
what did noona say about your face?

probably gave it to you easy

>>581657565
>i knew that wasn't a good idea.

Yes.

>>581657590
>probably gave it to you easy
Hahaha, she didn't mention it at all.

>128 images left
>can post a picture every 30 seconds
>would take 1.066 hours

>>581657802
Better start, then.

>>581657864
but muh sleep.

are you off to bed now?

>>581657753
Don't worry, my cocks been on an NZ thread before.

>>581657919
Yeah, I'm thinking I should go, should have gone a looong time ago, though.

>>581657958
Post it again.

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>>581658120

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>>581646272

>IRL australian accent
>ai wont sex ov thous plis
>ov waaart
>leemengtans
>sex leemengtans?
>yiiiiie
>mfw I hear aussies irl

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>>581658180

>>581645007

Primo? Wave?

>>581648614
kek

>>581658169
You were in that thread. You may have left though

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>>581658238

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>>581658295

>>581658292
Was it a few days ago now?

I kind of recall someone posting their cock but, then, maybe I was just dreaming about it.

>>581646197
>>581646294
>>581646381
>>581646914
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>>581658169
How autistic can you be holy fuck.. I had to edit this for too many lines

just realized this is pretty autistic

>>581649784

>takapuna
>nigger free

>>581658403
Thanks.

I wondered where I'd left them all.

>>581646272
*shit's

>>581658393
It was in this thread:

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1UR31Y0ryk2

you kiwis are some weird cunts ay

>>581658570
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1UR31Y0ryk2
I've been here too long.

>>581658403
Now I know what it's like to be followed by paparazzi.

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>>581658723
I think we're just both on here a lot. I feel like I know a lot about you bar your name.

>>581658954
>bar your name.
Faggot

File: webcam-toy-photo4.jpg (50KB, 800x600px)

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anyway.

Based Billy T living in Otara for cheap accomodation reporting in. Throw some racial slurs at me. I like fresh material.

>>581658524
>>581658723
>>581658931
>>581659041

You have issues

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>>581658954
>Seolhyun
BASED TASTE

>>581659141
And no tissues.

:-(

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>>581659132

I'll start off then.

Whats black, white and rolls down a hill?

A Maori and a seagull fighting over a chip.

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>>581659489

What's long, brown and stinks like shit?

The line at WINZ

>>581638971

lol'd, how far up north?

>>581640000
Ooh nigga nice 0000

>tfw listening to some Yeezy

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>>581659642

Two families lived in a 2storey flat
One of them was white
The other was Maori
In the middle of the day an earthquake tore the house down
Which family died?

The Maoris, cos all the Pakehas were at work.

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>>581659853

aight fuck it im out faggots

Boring ass NZ Thread.

Anyone else watching dreamhack?

>>581659041
Now tell me what your name is.

>>581659152
Saved that gif from you

>>581659790
what album?

>>581660101
You mean me??

>>581660649
Ja.

>>581660698
What do you know about me?

>tfw getting drunk to help me sleep

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>>581660649

>>581660795
>I feel like I know a lot about you bar your name.

This scares me, what do you feel you know?

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Sup /b/, drinking wine. are any nzfags still awake at at this hour?

tell me I'm not alone

>>581661050
you are not alone~

>kpop folder almost 20 GB
time to delete it again

>>581660910
It's cool mr shoe fish, I'm a nice guy and have a good memory so I don't think many others would have picked this stuff up.
>male
>white
>under 25
>no degree
>bi
>likes to suck cock
>ADHD
>very keen for weed
>lonely
>generally introverted
>worries that you're weird

probably more If I gave it more thought.

>>581660823
glad it's not his latest shit

>>581661438
>bi
i thought he was gay

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get a load of this

>>581661438
Mostly all correct.

>I need to stop posting on here.

>>581661523
Ja.

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>>581661069
great scott

>>581661523
>>581661823
Huh, I thought bi for some reason. I could probably take a stab at your personality

You would know stuff about me though so all good.
>>581661771
I watched an indie doco about that car once. It has a bit of history

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i'm out

peace

>>581662171
>I could probably take a stab at your personality
Really? I'm intrigued.

>>581662205
Night.

>>581662346
Hmmm, lets try.

> you're intuitive and you use that to guide you
>you come up with lots of ideas but don't see them through
>you'll try nearly anything once
>you don't like conflict
>you like helping people
>you're laid back and pretty chill
>you can be quite hard on yourself sometimes
>you like to express yourself by writing things down
>you don't like to deal in hard facts
>you're likely to agree with a friend even if they are wrong for sake of the friendship
>you struggle with tapping your potential
>you've been bullied in the past

How's that? What's right, what's wrong?

>>581662831
Right:

> you're intuitive and you use that to guide you
>you come up with lots of ideas but don't see them through
>you don't like conflict
>you like helping people
>you can be quite hard on yourself sometimes
>you don't like to deal in hard facts
>you struggle with tapping your potential
>you've been bullied in the past

Wrong:

>you'll try nearly anything once
>you're laid back and pretty chill
>you like to express yourself by writing things down (I write things done but-oh, wait, I do prefer communiticating through writing so I guess so, lel).

>you're likely to agree with a friend even if they are wrong for sake of the friendship
Sort of both right and wrong.

>>581663293
Damn, that's a low hit rate. I blame the alcohol, I should have known the chill one would be wrong. rookie mistake

I often go to /mu/ and do the personality guess game. I tend to be alright at it.

>>581663293
>>you like helping people
Nah, I'm just a busy body really, I guess.