Get me laid b Ive seen a few of these on here guys and i'm

>>576431814
I like these threads, bump

why is it our job?

Nobody helping? :'(

"Nope, and I'm not very religious so I probably wouldn't have gained much from it anyways. But what's so gross about sex ed anyway? Knowing which hole to put it in saves you from future embarrassment, trust me."

>>576432582
K i did it, waitin for response

>>576431814
this thread is so bare

>>576432945
Can you post a pic of this girl and some general information so i can know what i'm up against and tailor my responses to appeal to her

No, please tell me all about this catholic sex ed

>>576433227
I dont wanna do a pic but ill give info, what r u lookin for?

Say , hey i should come over we can watch a movie and cuddle

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Other chick is taking forever, do this one too :P

>>576433458
Sorry but thats boring and not worth my time

>>576433694
Fine. Ill do it for second chick, but still gotta tell me what you want

>>576433678
"I have a beautiful voice. I'd prove it if you were deaf"

>>576433678
say, i always thought you were gorgeous

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>>576433694

>>576433678
that time you didnt censor the #
to fuck a girl on /b/
bad idea OP

>>576434320
aaand fuck

>>576433860
Do it then. And is she a ho or not? Is she looking for a boyfriend, a hookup, a friend, or a source of attention? Is she in to you? Have you made your interest known? How old is she? Is she religious? How good is her relationship with her dad? Is she smart? Does she have a romanticized view of the world?

>>576434320
here we go

time to reveal OP's identity! AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>576433678
>>576433678
That's a mighty nice phone number... Would be a shame if I..... Called it

>>576434293
Dont fuck thing up with this one

Why the fuck you don't act as a normal person and ask her out, OP? /b/ is just a bunch of faggots trying to make fun from other people.

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>>576434438

Kind of a ho, probably a source of attention, hard to say with religion, prolly has some daddy issues

Lol idk how to censor it, be /b/ros (my pure desperation)

>>576434919
wat
you just said "if 'I' were a deaf"

>>576435109
Fucking go to the screenshot, click edit, and draw a fucking black line you fag, I really fucking hope this is bait

>>576431814
way to go dumbass.
everyone now has her number.

>>576435109
seeing you posted both their numbers you must be dumb as fuck n don't deserve to get laid

>>576435293

Im such a fuckup :'(

>>576435525
very.

>>576433678
ROFL what a scrub leaving the number

tell her u wanna come over and cuddle

I probably dont deserve to get laid, lets let this one die

>>576435716
Send her a personal call saying that op is a fag

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mfw I realize that OP could be trolling girls who turned him down by posting their info on /b/.
9/10

>>576431814
Pretty much just get off /b and talk to her like a normal person. Invite her for dinner and drinks and see what happens. Be natural, be yourself, only agree with her if you actually agree, and if you don't agree don't be a dick about it but let it be known.

Most of all, call her. Texting for sex is desperation incarnate.

>>576434919
Aaaaaand you fucked it up. Maybe not really but sort of. I dont feel like holding your hand through this, ask her to come over to watch a movie and make your move. If she says no or makes an excuse then dont contact her till she contacts you. If she reschedules then she's into you. Read her and pretend to be whatever she wants you to be. Dont talk to her too often, dont be too eager to reply, and manipulate the shit out of her. It'll get you whatever you want, remember 2 things: the end always justifys the means and no one is more important than you.

>>576436159
No, he seems desparate. If it's bait then good job op you got me.

I've rang n told both girls. apparently the van is coming for op

http://vocaroo com/i/s0buXyFQzvdP

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>>576436723
Lol Anon tells the truth

More scared of the other girl tho kek

>>576437018
do you wanna see my little friend?
>send dick pic

>>576437018
By little friends, she means your imagination

>>576437219
Been there done that

>>576437018
How can you be so fucking stupid OP?

>>576437534
Too much weed?

>>576437018
disappointing, really. The girl in the pic was kinda cute. Would've taken about an hour of conversation to make that one happen.

>>576436723
Same called both and sent a screen shot of the whole thread

hey guys should we all be dan while texting one of em¿

>>576436159
>next level nypa
>OP still a huge massive faggot

>>576437752
"I really find you attractive. I am a lot more nervous with you than I am with other girls. That's why I asked for advice on a forum. I am a idiot (you could better curse words here). Sorry"

>>576435907
Cuddle? Fucking jesus.

>>576438231
I know plenty of guys who could spin this one and make it work for them in the end. This guy, though, I'm doubting.

The first one i met on tinder, and im really into her but i wouldnt die if she rejected me and tbe second one ive been into for years but ive never done anything so atleast this snowstorm is something

>>576438105
No you fucking faggot. Every single one of those dan threads are started by my 13 year old brother.

The thread is called get me laid.
You tried another grill first.
It's not going to work.

>>576438790
Keep posting more or gtfo

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>>576438629
Thanks anon <3

>>576438790
You wouldn't die if either rejected you. Even the one that friendzoned you. You may well have just fucked yourself in the foot here, son.

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>>576438901
Idk i started an omegle one>>576438953

None of them r replying

Top kek.

Wouldn't it be great if they came on and posted OPs info?
Someone suggest it.

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Well, looks like we're back faggots

Holy fuck mike

>>576438901
hey msn im just tryna do me trolls

>>576439759
Tell her that you want to come by and give her a hands on experience in sex ed.

Holy fuck mike

>>576439759
Bro, do you even know how to censor shit? You're giving away all these bitch's personal information, which, in retrospect, people on here can use to find out who you are. Are you 15?

Michael "Kale" Pear. rip in pizza

ask her what she wearing, if she asks you say you're completely nude

OP is clearly trolling, no way in hell someone could be this dumb.

>>576440124
HEY MADDY

>>576437660
We, the Weed Federation of the World representing all WEEDS of the world, have not, will not ever associate ourselves with a dumb ass like OP

>>576439759
Having first-hand experience in sex is even more fantastic! Let me teach you tonight ;)

"Hay bb wnt sum fuk?"
Do it. She'll be jerkin' your gherkin in no time.

OP is dead x_x

Just got off the phone with Maddy. Used up 30 cents in Skype credits. Imma steal yo gurl Mike

Here's the deal

1. Am this stupid
2. OP is pretty much a faggot
3. Ive been struggling with thoughts of suicide and this pretty much does it for me

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>>576441139
kek go4 it

>>576441145
OP pulls the suicide card
On cam or it didn't happen

Fair, it probably wont be any time soon tho, i wanna give life a fair chance to not be shitty

>>576441349
This, tinycam faggot

Somebody else start texting these girls and post responses.

SO GAMEOVER FOR MIKE. Both girls on thread... ANon Brothers,ur time to shine. Give the two girls a pic(k) from the the DICK.

Let's CUKHOLD MIKE

Lost your chance to get laid /b/ saw the opportunity, you fucked up mike.

>>576441498
well then why don't you make their lives less shitty and apologize instead of smiling like a bitch you fucking faggot.

AY YO GURL, LEMME HOLLA AT YA
U WANT SUM FUCK?

>>576441550
Lol this fucking thread

>>576441823
THey want some DIC PICS.PUT UP or GTFO

Grills, identify.
Post ss of your side of the conversation with mikes details.

I'm the girl in the pic who wants OPs info

>>576441602
If i were a girl and this happened to me itd make my day

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>>576437018
>bring all your little friends, too.

Lol, how many of you desperate virgins called her?

>>576442072
Clearly proves OP is a faggot!
CANCEL ALL DICK PICS. OP will intercept for himself.

Lol im right here ready to give you guys my fb user/pass if you want it

nah she like the attention

>>576442289
Do it, Faggot.

Only two people called me. This was fucking funny to say the least.

>>576442491
why wont u respond to my text

>>576442463
Ok but im going to damage control

[email protected]
Catalyst1

(Im this bored)

>>576442491
Bitch sounds disappointed. SHE NEEDS A GANG YA'LL

>>576442590
proof or gtfo

File: 2014-10-26 03.51.49.png (530KB, 532x545px) Image search: [Google]

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>>576442491
Is this the Butch were supposed to get wet?

>>576442650
Facebook is damage control faggot

>>576442491
>proof or gtfo

Who wants the security code?

>>576442650
>[email protected]

This is worthless faggot. Security reasons

>>576442491
Girl, this is the last place on the planet where you want people to be calling you from.

I cant identify your shitty friends

Security code bitch

>>576443115
Giv pls

>implying this is an actual conversation with someone named "maisie"
>implying thats "maisie"s phone number
>touchwiz

>>576443347
Cant you just use the password thats already on there

>>576443679
It secure, whats the code that just got texted to you?

>>576443679
Needs a security code too yo

Also here is faggot OP's number (818) 220-7435

Sigh, if my life gets ruined after this it atleast better make a good greentext

Roll 69 for code

>>576444382
roll

stop being such a cunt and give us the code

>>576444545
Yeah seriously. Doesn't sound like a guy wanting to kill himself at all

We have to roll for this shit.
Ugh, Roll.

op better get laid for this shit

>>576444382
.

>>576444726
Roll

Why OP is always a faggot?

>Roll

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>>576444545
:'(

Rollin'

rollllllllll

What's hapenning
h t
a a
t h
IS HAPPENING w

>>576445378
expired as fuck
post pic of ur government issued id thx

Someone already used it?

Post the shit you're doing.

Resorting to a lurk

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Got it.

>visit miikeyrockssss facebook
>see dickbutt
>my sides

op tricked u all
whoever got on that facebook is now bein ip tracked rip this is how he finds his victims

>>576446424
;)

>>576446424
vpn

>>576446424
Well at least we have his facebook kek

>>576446398
Brring the pain

File: hansen6tvf-1-web.jpg (61KB, 970x1454px) Image search: [Google]

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He's probably Chris Hansen.

...

>>576446424
OMG
M
G

wat do now? Wait 2 die?

captcha turned goofag

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oh man hes gonna be so embarassed

>>576447313
change his privacy settings for all us little guys

>>576447313
show inbox

Waiting for OP to rage comment about funds stolen from bank account(s). How could one be such a faggot?

Lol u had ur fun but i deactivated it, you faggots. Shoulda done something when i gave u a fucking chance

sorry guys he changed his password back. op is truly a cunt

>>576447313
Happy birthday Adrian Chan!

>>576447669
hey simmer down this isnt the op i used 2 kno

>>576447313
So you live in CA too?

C'mon OP let us have some fun

>>576444880
U are so Optimistic. Beyond delusion!!!

HE HAS NO CHANCE!!! GAMEOVER

im not mean spirited unlike a certain OP. shame on you.

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Kek forever

>>576434320
Top fucking Kek

>>576447313
kek did this just actually happen

>>576435525
I Are dumb as Fuck. I'm calling her and telling her you did this.

>>576449378
Little late to the party bud

>>576436057
Yess!

>>576437018
I'm in. I texted her saying OP is a fag

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All i wanted was to be the top post on /b/ and i did whatever it took. I love you ruthless fucking faggots <3

>>576439764
OP is just a plain Faggot.

>>576450334
Yeah, we got you up there, now return facebook faggot.

>>576441303
Top Kek. Top Kek my friend

>>576450334
and there u have it boys
with persistence, pure dedication, and making an ass out of urself in real life u can become temporary top 4chan post

IM ON MY COMPUTER RIGHT NOW GUYS.

>>576450620

and ok, but what do i get in return?

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today OP was as awkward as a squid

>>576441550
Another Kek!

>>576450334
way to aim high op

>>576450778
THIS. this is how i always feel, ive never been able to picture it before

>>576450710
You get to be top again, cunt.

ORRR the girls can get back at MIKE by posting his last name number and all his Info to Fuck him over.

>>576450898
naw dude, i think im going to sleep, but my phone number is in the thread, do whatever you want with it... I love you /b/ i'll return someday and share with you the aftermath of this shitstorm

>>576451003
that has already been posted lol no shame in mikes game

>>576451123
/thread

peace out

>>576451003
Last name: Pearson
Number: (818) 220-7435

>>576451123
kek

Goodnight Mikey Pearson
(818) 220-7435
Godspeed.

oh before i go, like my band "Cale&Rose" on facebook and soundcloud!! love u

>>576451123
What game is that again?

>>576451481
luv u 2 #toodeep

This thread is dead. But what an epic one it was

>>576452047
dont act like uve been here

>>576442070
Yes please.