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ITT: story thread lets hear your stories /b/ros

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 118
Thread images: 29

ITT: story thread

lets hear your stories /b/ros
>>
>>563058858
Heres a story , faggot

https://soundcloud.com/big-vox/all-words-and-no-dick
>>
>>563058858
Once upon a time OP wasn't a faggot, but that was a long long long time ago
>>
Once upon a time I moved and had no friends and life sucked and I never got any pussy and couldn't tell if everything was real or not
>>
>>563060460
Surprisingly, that was a bit entertaining.
>>
>fell in love with a girl
>turns out she was a prostitute
>when I found out I tried to leave her
>she drugged me and stabbed me
>>
>>563061393
Did you die?
>>
>>563060995
If I was a good writer id write a book about it
>>
>>563061457
I live but I have a scar on my belly
>>
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>>563058858
>be me in iraq '07
>get hit be several ied's
>start getting migraines every week after that
>get out of the army earlier this year
>migraines completely stop
>still get $600 a month disability for them
>mfw
>>
>>563061601
How does it make you feel?
>>
>>563061457
kek'd
>>
>>563061601
#3sp00ky5me
>>
>>563061845
angry
>>
>play air soft when little shit
>get real into it
>imintheshitnow.jpg
>"jokers got the 1,000 yard stare" I say
>my platoon buddies walk ahead of me
>step on landmine, beebeesfly, shoes and smell of rotten flesh fill the air
>drop down and get on floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur
>>
>>563061818
whats the next step in life anon?
>>
>>563061996
How angry?
>>
>>563062223
started school at ohio state uni this summer
>>
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>>563058858
I used to live out in the country on a farm in a small house with acres of empty land outstretched in blank darkness just beyond our un-curtained windows, save the hardly visible vacant barn on our property, a shadow in the distance. To a child (~8), this void seemed teeming with the unknown, filled with anything my mind could procure.

My family would regularly watch scary tv programs and movies, especially x-files and goosebumps as they would air. On this particular night, we re-watched "The Haunted Mask" episode of Goosebumps on tape as I had just finished the book that day and was quite consumed by the story at the moment. Afterwards it was about time for bed so I went to the small bathroom to brush my teeth. The window was literally 6" from my face, it was very cramped, open wilderness just on the other side of a thin pane, peering at me peripherally. I suddenly hear a bang on the wall and quickly turn. My heart is in my stomach, my head is on fire. The haunted mask is in the window, seemingly floating in mid air 15' in the air. I immediately assume myself and my family are doomed, destined to be tormented forever by the cursed mask. I break out in screaming tears and run to my father, whom is laughing his ass off in the doorway with a perfect latex mask on a broomstick.

I was terrified of open windows until my mid 20's. Still love my dad for that prank though.
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>>563062490
wish you luck anon
>>
>>563062230
angry enough
>>
>>563062698
thanks man
>>
>>563062716
Think about this: She is a prostitute and you are not

You have won the battle of life against her
>>
No greentext coz I'm a lazy cunt on my phone.

I was 12 years old taking care of my younger siblings in the public library, children section. I see a big white book on the table open to a random page, it was in a different language. I start flicking through to see any pictures so I could tell wtf this book is. All of a sudden I saw the vagina for the first time in my life. It was hairy and open and bleeding and you could see a baby head crowning. I immediately closed the book and did not think about it again for 5 years.

I'm now a pedo...
>>
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>>563062490
That's great, I knew a guy at Purdue that took a head shot in Iraq (army front line waste squad) and had hallucinations. Made me come over to make sure his dog was really dead and that he wasn't dreaming. My other neighbor was a Seal friends with those dudes on the heli that went down. They had cry parties all the time, kinda bummed me out honestly. Free beer, hot girls, and sad heroes. I'm super happy I work in a lab now and just mix stuff and make bland discoveries for a living.
>>
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>am 9
>family reunion at uncle's place
>cousin shows me how to burn stuff with magnifying glass
>we burn some stuff
>cousin leaves
>i practice on newspaper
>success
>newspaper is on uncle's lawn
>grass starts to catch
>am too uch of a bitch to stomp it out
>run inside and call on family members to put it out
>they think it's a joke
>they laugh and joke, and then casually walk out
>their faces when half of uncles lawn is incinerated
>>
>>563063746
ya i'm looking forward to a nice boring job someday lol
>>
>>563063746
Biochemistry?
>>
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>>563061818
>$600 a month
>$600
>every 30 days
kek'd


anyway random story
>be me 6-8 years old
>have shoes that i love
>nike's
>wear them for every ocassion
>soccer practice, gym, house shoes, swim shoes, etc
>start wearing them w/o socks cuz like the way it feels
>sweat builds up in soles
>feelsgreatman
>everyone in the house (mom and 3 sis) starts to complain about the smell
>dont smell anything
>one day after school mom picks us up as usual
>riding to mcdonalds with playground
>everyone holding their nose
>halfway there
>mom "i cant take it anymore! those things STINK!"
>pulls over
>tells me to take them off
>wait...no
>take them off
>"why do you want them"
>she rolls down the window
>"NOOOO"
>out they go
>start screaming and crying
>mfw no shoes for mcfatties
>mfw no shoes for school next day
>mfw still favorite pair
>>
>>563062662
>>563062662
>>563062662
>used to live out in the country on a farm
>small house with acres of empty land outstretched in blank darkness
>blank wild darkness
>just beyond our un-curtained windows, save the hardly visible vacant barn on our property
>a shadow in the distance.
>To a child (~8), this void seemed teeming with the unknown
>filled with anything my mind could procure.

>My family would regularly watch scary tv programs and movies
>especially x-files and goosebumps as they would air
>On this particular night, we re-watched "The Haunted Mask" episode of Goosebumps on tape
>I had just finished the book that day
>I was quite consumed by the story at the moment
>Afterwards it was about time for bed so I went to the small bathroom to brush my teeth.
>the window was literally 6" from my face to the left
>it was very cramped, open wilderness just on the other side of a thin pane, peering at me peripherally.
>I suddenly hear a bang on the wall and quickly turn.
>My heart is in my stomach,
>my head is on fire.
>my mind is racing
> heart now ready to explode
>The haunted mask is in the window, floating in mid air
>15' in the air.
>I immediately assume myself and my family are doomed
> destined to be tormented forever by the cursed mask.
>I break out in screaming tears and run to my father
>he is laughing his ass off in the doorway with a perfect latex Goosebumps mask on a broomstick.

I was terrified of open windows until my mid 20's. Still love my dad for that prank though
>>
>>563064372
Biology, you Purdue? Worked in molec bio doing genetics shit before med school, not for me though. came back here for work and school
>>
>>563064454
you had to go to school with no shoes..¿
>>
>>563064454
I was walking to primary school once. My shoelace broke on shoe, so I walked back home and took a day off
>>
I was bullied mercilessly all throughout elementary and middle school.

I actually learned martial arts and self-defense to protect myself against the nearly daily ass beatings I was receiving.

The school never did anything to stop it, even when my mother got involved and complained with the administration.

In addition to the physical assault I received, I was also continuously being psychologically attacked as well.
>you're a fag
>no one likes you
>you should kill yourself
>the world would be better off without you
>no one would miss you if you were dead.

Tl;dr, I was suicidal and anti-social by the time I was in the 4th grade.

My poor mother had to raise me alone, since dad skipped out before I was born, & I got conceived in the separation. She had a good job, so I was cared for by nannies and I had all the toys and stuff I could ask for.

But I rarely got to spend time with mom, and every day I had to go back to that nightmare of a school.

Con't.
>>
>>563066371
Once shit started hitting the fan, and I was spending more and more time in the counselors office, Mom realized that I couldn't be left alone any more. She quit her high paying job, and started working as a receptionist at a church nearby. Pulling from her retirement to keep us afloat, just so she could be home more often to be there for me.

Soon enough tho, middle school passed and I was off to High School.

But you can't do that kind of damage to a child and not leave scars.

I had no friends, I had no social skills, I had no trust in anyone, and I had a completely non-existent self-esteem. (I still don't. Not really anyway...)

When I got to high school, It was my first time in a public school, since I had gone to a private school my whole life.

I realized that here, no one knew me, here, people wouldn't hate me on principle, since everyone else hated me.

I realized I could remake myself here. Be whoever I wanted to be.

con't
>>
>>563066867
First order of business was to overcome my lack of self-esteem, So what I did was overcompensate by making myself into a pompous, arrogant asshole. (Still gives me trouble now, since I can't really turn that back off easily.)

This was easy enough to do; since I had had no friends, I had occupied myself with reading & learning about the sciences.

Not having friends meant not giving a shit about American Idol, and watching Nothing but History, Discovery, & Science channels (oh the good old days, back before Ancient Aliens & Shark Week)

So, I was already head and shoulders above people my age. Meaning that appearing arrogant wasn't hard; I just had to be condescending whenever someone didn't know something about some random shit we were covering or discussing.

But that's beside the point. The point of this story, is that even with all that shit that I lived, and all the garbage that I've dealt with, I found Love.

So lets get to the actual story shall we?
>>
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>>563065159
yeah. shit sucked

more
>be me in 5th grade
>girlfriend with 12/10 qt3.14
>brown hair, eyes, cute face and voice
>perfect
>dont even remember how i got her
>i was the class clown and not really good with girls
>anyway... our class is lining up at the back door for recess
>me and (mikayla lets call her) had planned up a scheme
>we offer to turn off the lights at the front door
>"ok"
>class heads out
>we get in line and when the last kid leaves we shut the door behind him
>noice (had about 20-30 kids in class so we knew she wouldnt miss 2)
>we go to my desk
>"are you ready" she asks
>"ummm...yea"
>she closes her eyes and moves closer to me, lips puckered
>i move in too and close eyes
>kiss
>we move back quickly and open eyes
>mikayla "i love you"
>"i love you too"
>grabs my hand
>come on lets go
>we head outside together, running and skipping (lel) the distance to the playground
>we hold hands as long as we can

she moved about a week later. never saw her or heard from her again. all she said was she was going overseas. she was my first true love
>>
>>563067310
>first day of high school
>First period: Music. Brought my Legend of Zelda Ocarina.
>Want to learn new instrument, preferably flute, since I like how it sounds.
>See two girls standing next to each other.
>one's a thin, blonde, 5/10. The other is a chubby, busty 4/10.
>See blonde, little voice in my head:
"There is everything I've ever wanted in a woman."
>low self-esteem immediately reminds me that no girl in my entire life has ever given me a sideways glance. Convinced I am ugly & annoying, & that no one will ever love me.
>"I like big tits, & I've got a thing for glasses... Maybe her friend will be willing to date me."
Con't
>>
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>>563067456
Feels man
>>
>>563067949
>Meet the two, neither is really interested, but I wasn't expecting them to.
>Teacher gets us to all sit down & starts talking, asking us if we know an instrument, and if not, what we want to learn.
>I want to learn flute.
>5/10 has been playing flute all her life (and it shows. More on that later tho.)
>5/10 has to teach me how to play flute.
>I don't know how to read music; I play everything by ear, listening and copying what I hear (Still do. She hates it.)
>exceedingly frustrated with me. doesn't really like me much.
>Becomes good friends with 4/10 (still is. Unfortunately.)
>one day after school, 4/10 asks me if I play xbox.
>"How did you know?"
>"lucky guess"
>We exchange gamertags
>play halo & stuff together.
>pluck up courage.
>"Wanna go out with me?"
>yes.
>Fuck yeah! First girlfriend I can actually say is my girlfriend (2 others from before, long stories for another time)
>Very very quickly learn she's batshit fucking crazy.
>NOPE.jpg
>dump her within a week.
>Dump her via myspace message (I DIDN'T KNOW)
>Her dad responds
>Ohshit.jpg
>New high school, only freshman class, We were the first graduating class. Only 200 of us total on campus.
>everyone who knows crazy bitch hates me.
>5/10 hates me because they're friends now
>This whole, "remake myself" thing is going fucking great.
con't
>>
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>Be walking on my day off, soaking life in.
>Have to wait for train at crossing.
>Waiting at crossing gate.
>Man walking Labrador waiting at the opposite gate.
>Just chillin'.
>Train blares it's horn to signal it's arrival.
>Dog spooks the fuck out.
>Runs in front of full speed train. It's a dog-explosion
>I watch on in an amalgamation of confusion, disgust and horror
>Train stops at station.
>Blood everywhere, front of dog is still (barely) intact.
>MFW
>>
>>563069046
>5/10 and most of the school band hates me.
>crazy bitch won't talk to me (i wish that was still the case)
>decide, "everyone in movies & shit just pick girls up, I should try to do that too"
>meet 7/10 in math class.
>Redhead, freckles, hourglass body, and boobs so big she's wearing DDD bras.
>Freshman year.
>wanna go out?
>sure. (should have been a large indication that I'm not half bad looking, but w/e)
>date for a week
>"I don't wanna date you anymore."
>Sad, but w/e. Didn't know the bitch anyway.
>She goes on to become one of the school's sluts. Fucks her boyfriends, cheats on them, has multiple abortions, etc. She eventually got so big she had to start buying custom bras. After high school she became a whale tho, since she ended up sterile due to stds & abortions, & she always wanted kids & blah blah blah.
>Entire school knows I went after girl.
>thinks I was out of my league.
>Laughing stock of the school
>Things start to repeat themselves. Bullying and hate coming in from others.
>Nottoday.jpg
>Some nigger constantly trying to pick fights.
>I'm a black belt.
>Eventually hits me on the back HARD after PE.
>Take his ass to the ground, punch the ground, and whisper that I will fucking kill him if her touches me again.
>PE teacher runs over, sees me stepping back from shell-shocked nigger
>"Did you throw him?"
>"No sir, I helped him fall."
>PE teacher so fucking awesome he doesn't do anything, just laughs and leaves.
>No one fucks with me anymore.
>Nigger is a pest to everyone, become known as the guy who beat his ass in under 5 seconds.
>Nigger & his twin eventually expelled.
>People giving me a little bit more respect.
>Migrate to a spot near the back of the school, a little corner where the wind blows through (school was out in a field)
>I like being alone, remnants from middle school. Use time to read & play vidya
>A group of guys come and start sitting in my spot.
>We play vidya together, become best bros.
Con't
>>
>>563070196
(actually gonna go chill with them tomorrow morning. Shits nice)
>remain single for rest of freshman year
>Sophmore year, valentines day.
>School holding candy grams. Go to cafeteria, write a note, pay a dollar, gets sent to person with a carnation & a candy.
>I don't have gf, still crushing hard on 5/10, gradually blossoming into 6/10.
>don't give two shits about the valentines thing.
>Chemistry class.
>Messenger comes in, holding cards.
>starts to pass them out.
>Comes up to me.
>"What do you want?"
>"Card for you"
>"who the fuck sent ME a card??"
>"They wanted to remain anonymous."
>Read card; "i know no one is nice to you, but I think you're pretty cool, and if you asked me to go out with you, i totally would." (at least, I think that's how it went. I wish I had kept it)
>I'm so emotionally fucked up, my thoughts were
Who the fuck hates me so hard, they actually PAID MONEY to make fun of me?
>Start asking around if anyone knows who sent me the card.
>Don't really care about THAT they did it, just kinda wanna know who hates me that hard.
>No one fesses up.
>Self-taught handwriting analysis.
>Take card home, start to compare with freshman year yearbook.
>6/10's handwriting. Full stop.
>WTF?
>6/10 has a bf.
>Next day
>Too retarded to realize that this isn't a good idea
>Ask 6/10 if she wrote the note in front of her friends & bf
>"wtf, no. I have a bf & why would I ever be interested in you??"
>So fucked up, believe her.
>If it's not her, maybe its her friends; after you spend a long enough time around someone, handwriting starts to look similar.
>Not the asian girl, she's too introverted
>not the crazy bitch. we've done this before
>Other girl is super quiet & doesn't know me.
>Only one other girl in the group.
>in my chemistry class, one row behind me.
>Jackpot.jpg
>spend half the year trying to get to know her.
>Eventually forget that it was originally just to find out why they hated me, start to like girl
con't
>>
>>563071049
Starting to bad a pretty good story, somebody should start capping this
>>
>>563071049
Hurry up fucker. I'm at my barracks on the shitter and need to read this before I rack out again.
>>
>>563071049
>looks a lot like 6/10
>smaller & more mousy tho
>Eventually we become really good friends, texting all the time.
>By necessity become a regular at their spot by the library. get to know group, including 6/10
>begin dating girl. Truly happy for first time in a long time.
>6/10 breaks up with bf. heartbroken
>become better friend to her, trying to do what I can.
>"Fall in love" with mousy girl.
>6/10 graduates to 7/10.
>become really great friends with 7/10.
>Sit next to each other in band. Spend lots of time talking.
>She likes the way I treat her friend as her bf. Thinks I'm a really great guy.
>Too ashamed to admit that I only like gf because she reminds me of 7/10
>7 months later, gf dumps me.
>no reason given, just dumps me & ignores me for next 2 years.
>heartbroken
>Neverloveagain.jpg
>depression back like a ton of bricks.
>call 7/10, crying.
>We talk for hours as she helps me get over girl.
>Texting all the time. thick as thieves.
>start to hang out outside of school.
>Junior year starts
>"I think of you like my brother."
>FUCK
>Start gradually trying to convince her to see me as more
>Point out all the shit we do together
>argue like old married couple, text 24/7, hang out outside of school, go to movies together, only thing missing is physical intimacy.
>She meets guy
>Likes him
>Icicle through my heart
>Starts to date guy.
>"Back to the drawing board"
>step back contact, let her have her relationship.
>Have rebound relationship, realize its a rebound, try to let her down easy about a week later, wanting to be good guy
>She hates me (We're good now.)
>Summer starts
>Most. fun. summer. of. my. life.
>Doing crazy shit all the time.
>Friend from the corner (that's what we refer to our spot as. even to this day) starts dating girl from corner.
>good for you!
>some friends from school want to make an RP based on Harry Potter. 7/10 has graduated to 8/10 because her tits came in.
con't
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>>563058858

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1biXQp8x7k
>>
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> She told me she wanted to talk to me, that it was serious.
> Bus to somewhere for the first time in a month.
> "Anon, i don't feel like our relationship is progressing. You're a good guy and everything but you don't see me enough at the moment. We can't continue."
> "...What do you mean by continue?"
> "It's over."
> Bus back home.
> Keep being depressed and suicidal 2 more months.
> Finally got over it when i fucked her again at a party and told her about those 2 girls i fucked at the festival whilst we were together.
> Also get rid of depression, for now atleast.
>>
>>563072001
>>563071601
Sorry guys, I'm typing as fast as I can! D:
>I like role playing. Played D&D with friends sometimes, & used to LARP with neighbor kid (In his backyard of course. Even as a child I had the decency to be ashamed of doing it in public)
>Like HP
>Sure, why the fuck not.
>8/10, crazy bitch, and a few of their friends want to do the story
>standard mary sue bullshit happens, people are retarded, etc.
>8/10 decides that I'm going to be her love interest in story
>wtf?
>start talking to her more often again, asking her why she wants me to be love interest. (she "claimed" me before we started)
>"No reason"
>know her well enough to know that's bullshit.
>keep pressing
>Makes passive aggressive comments about how I'm so oblivious to everything.
>I'm not stupid. I know what she's implying, but I want oral confirmation. Still doubting this is real life.
>press harder.
>Greatest message I have ever received in my life:
>"FUCK IT! I love you."
con't
>>
>>563072684
>Completely stunned silent
>Staring at computer screen in darkness.
>Bros on skype ask me whats up.
>they know I've had a boner for this girl since Freshman year.
>Explain situation
>one of my friends from way back in middle school (funny thing is, he was a raging cunt to me. not sure how we ended up friends post-middle school) Asks if i'm going to do anything about it
>"She has a bf. I'm not that guy."
>Mean it.
>tell her that she has bf
>She's talking to me because she's afraid of her feelings
>Wants to try to get them off her chest to focus on relationship
>says she's liked me since we met
>never knew how to express feelings
>afraid to like me once people started being dicks
>Fell for me when I was dating her friend, saw how I treated her.
>Not sure what to do, since she doesn't want to dump other guy for me.
>Tell her that it's her choice, and that I won't pressure her to choose me over him.
>Tell her I want her to be happy, even if that means I might not be.
>Grew up manipulating people to get what I want, always doing and saying things to illicit responses.
>Genuinely care for girl
>terrified of manipulating her into dumping guy
>express that, try to remain as impartial as possible and not say anything that will influence her into choosing me over him.
>confess love to her too, and say that she knows my feelings, and its her decision.
>we go to bed.
>Talk all day and night the next few days,
>always on skype with my bros
>>
>>563072684
> Tfw I don't know that feel.
>>
>be me as kid
>mom gets us two dogs
>our first dogs
>tater and tot
>lab puppies
>love tater with everything in my being
>one day im playing with him outside in the backyard
>just us two having the time of our life
>want to play hide-and-seek
>hide him in a small cooler that was next to our storage cabin
>start counting
>1
>2
>3
>4
>mom "time to eat!"
>dang
>go inside to eat
>forget about tater
>take bath
>go to bed
>next morning i wake up and while in the kitchen i remember tater
>"OH YEAH!"
>rush outside
>open cooler
>tater is lying down completely still
>"tater"
>i pick him up
>he is so small but feels heavy in my hands
>"tater, whats wrong"
>start sobbing up
>run inside with tater in my arms
>meet mom in the kitchen
>full blown tears now
>mom "what wrong?"
>"whats wrong with tater mommy?"
>she takes him
>"oh..."
>she pulls me close and i hug her leg
>tells me a bit later that he died
>tfw i knew he wasnt waking up, even at 6
>tfw him dying reminded me of my sister dying a year earlier
>>
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>>563073043
Fuck I love this story. Keep em coming anon, I know a lot of these feels. Capping this.
>>
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>>563073043
>Tell friends I refuse to get between her and her bf
>middle school bro sends pic on skype. Pic related.
>"What's this?"
>"IT'S THE BUS YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO THROW JARED UNDER."
>many keks were had
>8/10 starts telling me things, things she's ashamed to say
>bf is emotionally manipulative. She wants to save herself for marriage, he wants pussy now.
>The whole song and dance "if you loved me you'd sleep with me" type shit
>She falls asleep at his house
>Wakes up to him fondling her
>He plays starcraft religiously
>whenever friends are around, she's treated like she's not there
>whenever they're alone, he's handsy & won't let her say no
>She tells him she wants to wait till marriage
>"Lets get married at 18 then."
>literally the biggest greaseball ever
>Tell her that his entire goal is to fuck her; hit it & quit it, & if she marries him, he will fuck her & either leave, or just use her like a sex doll and be unfaithful.
>She knows I'm right.
con't
>>
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>>563073709
OH MY GOD, MY COMPUTER STILL HAS THIS PICTURE LMFAO
>8/10 tells me that she's scared to dump him
>says he has mental issues
>begs me that if she doesn't leave him, & she does end up engaged to him, to show up at the wedding and demand it stop
>Promise
>skype bros say that if I go, they'll be there to be back up
>many keks regarding crashing a wedding, rescuing the bride, & beating up mormons
>Faggot is mormon.
>she tells me that she's starting to cut things off, stopped telling him she loved him.
>Send picture to middleschool bro during one of the late nights Pic related
>"what's this?"
>"It's Jared & 8/10's relationship"
>TOP KEK
>He can sense the end is nigh
>starts begging her to stay
>promising he won't pressure her anymore
>She's had enough of his bullshit
>Dumps him after about a year of dating him
>FUCKYEAH.JPG
>she starts spending more and more time with me
>Tells me that she's afraid I might just be a rebound
>tells me that she wants to wait about a month or so before we do anything
>doesn't want to look like a slut for dumping him & then starting with me
>also REALLY afraid of me being a rebound
>doesn't want to hurt our friendship
>"no matter what happens or doesn't happen, we are and always will be, friends first."
>Counting the days.
>>
>>563074443
;(
>>
>>563074443
>"no matter what happens or doesn't happen, we are and always will be, friends first."
> friends
> fml
>>
>>563074443
>she starts coming to my house
>We start going on pseudo dates
>getting a little more physical.
>She wants to back off, doesn't want to do anything when she's not dating me
>comply.
>days pass
>"are you sure you're ok with waiting?"
>"I waited 3 and 1/2 years. A month isn't that bad."
>time passes
>she starts to moan about not being able to kiss me, or say I'm her bf
>wtf
>fuck this shit then
>Tell her that the entire reason we had this issue is because we were too scared to take a step into the unknown
>I was too scared to ask her out way back then
>She was too scared to ask me out after I had been dumped by Katie
>never single at the same time since
>Tell her that waiting is what got us into this mess
>Tell her we should just take a fucking chance
>Ask her out August 28th.
>Says yes.
>Feel like my heart is going to explode out of my chest
>I'm not kidding. This feeling I had when she said yes is better than sex.
>start dating her, we're absolutely disgusting
>You know those couples that are out together, doing all the stereotypical Romantic Comedy bullshit?
>makes you wanna gag?
>literally us. And I LOVED it.
>Start Senior year with 8/10 gf. 9/10 when she wears makeup.
>FEELSFUCKINGAMAZINGMAN.JPG
>Band teacher who's been there since day 1 is shocked
>Never thought it would happen
>whole band is stunned
>most of the school is pretty damn shocked
>We were VERY well known at that point, so the fact that we started dating was unthinkable.
>There was an incident in Sophomore year where she had hit me over the head with a music stand, and our relationship had been known to be fairly unfriendly for a long time
>bros are happy for me
>2 dating bros want us to double date
>why the fuck not.
>asian girl moves out of city, to new school
>Bro is sad, but they keep dating
>>
>>563075275
I love how the girl escalated from a 5/10 to a 9/10 throughout the story.
>>
Fighting the urge to schleep so hard for this shit
>>
>>563075193
>>563074767
THIS STORY HAS A HAPPY ENDING. DON'T WORRY!
>one day we go to visit asian girl
>Her mom has a weird house. Like 2 appartments, one in front of the other. Front house is for her mom & brother, back house is left to her
>We go to her apartment & start to chill
>bro brings out MvC3
>fuck yeah
>pop it in, start to play
>Gfs cheering us along, loving it
>He plays fighting games. I don't.
>Scrapes me. Hard.
>girls start whispering. Vanish into kitchen.
>We're all /b/tards.
>Girls re appear in underwear with sandwiches.
>I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP
>bro and I have died and gone to heaven.
>make joke that all that's missing is a sailors hat for bro
>asian girl laughs, runs off and comes back WITH A FUCKING SAILORS HAT
>can't stop laughing, great times were had.
>Asian girl and bro go to her bedroom
>We all know what's happening.
>Gf & I left in living room. Put on stand up comedy.
>gf & I share first sexual encounter. Just a handy, but still.
>Asian girl & bro come back out, say we could have used other bedroom.
>Well then.
>date for all of Senior year. Everything is great
>one of my other bros starts dating Katie. My ex.
>I'm over her, and they seem to actually care for each other.
>mfw I realize I've dated 60% of my gf's friends.
>they're still dating to this day.
>Asian girl starts to get into bad crowd at new school.
>starts doing drugs & drinking more.
>starts coming onto /b/ and other boards & camwhoring.
>without telling bro.
>he starts to get pissed
>tells her to stop
>happens like 4 more times
>tells her that if she keeps it up he's gonna leave her
>she begs him to stop, please don't etc. etc. etc.
>Does it again.
>and again
>Meets dude on /soc/
>they start private camming.
>Literally cheating on bro with internet dude
>entire skype group is furious
>bro is a mess
>she dumps him for internet dude. lives out in texas
>8/10 & I are still going strong, but now I'm worried.
>she dumped someone else for me
con't
>>
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> wtf is this shit
>>
trying so hard not to fall asleep bleeeeeh
>>
>>563076663
stay strong anon stay strong
>>
>>563075485
I met her first day of Freshman year, we didn't start dating until right before senior year. Puberty yo
>What if she leaves me for some other guy
>old issues of self-esteem popping back up
>terrified of losing her
>The genie granted my wish, waiting for the ironic consequence.
>paranoid for months.
>everything is great.
>Too great.
>Afraid that things are going to fall apart.
>she's so patient
>knows my background
>stays up late to talk to me
>gets me through the worst of my episodes
>never stops showing me love and affection
>Helps me really learn how to be "normal"
>Not ashamed to be around me
>proud to be my gf
>literally perfect waifu
>I live in constant fear that things are going to go wrong
>everything else in my life has been shit, why should this be any different?
>Asian girl & bro have messy break up
>try my best not to get involved.
>try to be impartial
>Asian girl becomes more and more of an attention whore
>Goes from 7/10 to 5/10 as she does more drugs/uses shitloads of bad makeup
>she drops bombshell about her not liking him for last few months
>says she used him like an ATM to buy her shit
>Literally the scummiest person alive
>Can't believe old friend has become this monster
>Meets up with /b/tard after cam session
>Claims she got raped by him
>NO SHIT
>doesn't go for rape kit
>doesn't prosecute
>yeah, you got "raped." Sure.
>eventually she moves to Texas to be with /soc/guy
>Becomes a meme on skype.
>Someone is a dick & then leaves?
>"blah blah blah, and then they moved to texas" style stuff
>heard she got preggers then had a miscarriage.
>tried to get our sympathy
>everyone hates her.
>Haven't heard from her in a while.
>graduation time.
>8/10 & I are still dating.
>happiest I've ever been in my life.
>start discussing marriage prospects
>neither of us went to a 4 year,
>Decide to go to same junior college
con't
>>
>>563061504
Shut the fuck up John Green you massive faggot.
>>
yo op if things don't work out with you and 8/10 im gonna !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
I sense an immanent 404, hurry up anon
>>
Muh lurks
>>
>>563076929
spoiler; she gets cancer and op proposes right then and there she doesn't know what to say right before she can say yes her brain tumor kills her op lives today in regret for proposing earlier
>>
>>563076663
>>563076692
THE STORY IS NEARING THE PRESENT DAY, SO I'M ALMOST THERE!
>have classes together, drive together, spend all day together all the time.
>get a job, she applies to same place
>both get hired.
>go to class together, go to work together, spend all day together almost every day
>shits too good
>We both want to wait till marriage
>we both are horny
>we both REALLY want to stay together
>problems encountered.
>We go over to coworkers house one day.
>his parents are out, coworkers are gonna have party
>liquor
>talk to mom, lets me stay over night so I don't drive home drunk.
>we spend all day and all night drinking, playing vidya, & talking
>gf & I go to our room drunk
>mfw our first time was drunk in our coworkers parent's bed.
>Well that happened.
>decide that we liked what we did, and we want to continue.
>decide we need a better first time.
>rent motel room
>go buy new sexy lingerie
>pirate entire first season of Legend of Korra
>spend 2 days having non-stop sex and watching korra and eating pizza
>decide that we do wanna get married, but don't have the money just yet
>2nd anniversary, I buy her a ring.
>Nothing fancy, stainless steel, cubic zirconia (don't tell her) and an inscription from the Song of Songs: "I am my beloved's and he is mine."
>Promise ring.
>Never been happier
to be concluded
>>
Muh lurks.jpeg
>>
>>563077353
cmon keep going
>>
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.
>>
oh god im probably op's age

>mfw no bf
>>
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>>563076929
>>563077271
>>563077320
DON'T SAY THAT D:
>we've been together about 3 years now, and things have never been better.
>don't listen to people about the friendzone
>or even the dreaded "brother" zone
>I've been there and got out.
>you can too
>I'm leaving to finish my last 2 years of college & get my degree in January.
>Gonna go to Ohio :(
>She's gonna transfer to Berkeley when I leave so we finish at the same time
>We're gonna get married after.
>don't wanna get married & still live with parents, you know?
>The sex is awesome.
>I confessed my fucked up fetishes (I've got a thing for giantesses, & growing girls)
>She surprises me with stuff like videos and pics taken in POV angles & stuff
>I introduce her to Corruption of Champions
>Inadvertently introduce her to her fetish for monster girls (being one, specifically)
>Role Playing, costumes, bondage, and all sorts of kinky sex.
>I met the love of my life.
>Love at first sight exists
>And Anons, remember this:
There is no ONE that you HAVE to be with.
Any girl can be THE ONE. You just have to be willing to work for it.
If I can do it, so can you.
I'll be Lurking, so if you guys have questions, shoot!
>>
>>563077353
YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HER SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE MY FUTURE WITH MY CURRENT GIRL. ugh I can't wait
>>
File: Photo on 8-11-14 at 10.31 PM #2.jpg (88KB, 640x426px) Image search: [Google]
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My uncle always had to have a bucket nearby when he went to the bathroom.
He was so fat he was never able to get all the shit out from between his butt cheeks.
So when he went number 2, he had to spread his cheeks apart with his hands and sit down. The smell was so bad he had to vomit into a bucket.
>>
File: cherries!.jpg (153KB, 541x960px) Image search: [Google]
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Heres a shot of us picking cherries together last valentines day
>>
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>be me
>be around 11~12 years old
>playing with my cousins at grandma's home
>the ball we're playing with get ejected in the street
>I go to get it without looking at the two sides of the roads
>I get hit by an old man on a motorcycle that couldn't see me coming.
>get ejected a little farther on the road
>when I realize what just happened, I start to scream, though I don't feel much pain, I was just scared to have broken bones etc
>Grandma calls an ambulance
>Thay come pick me up and get me to the hospital
>mfw I ended up having nothing bad
>mfw the old man broke his arm, and his motorcycle must've been damaged too.
>>
>>563077937
Is that you in the picture?
Holy damn, you look a lot like I did when I had my 'fro.
>>
>>563077862
glad everything's going well for you, op!!! lmao university life is so sososo fun you both are going to have lots of fun times

ohio blows though sorry
>>
anyway, sorry about the long story. We had a little fight when she was coming home from work & I figure a good way to keep things from getting too serious is to remember how this all started
>>
test
>>
>>563078510
I'm not OP lol. Check our IDs
I just lurk & thought it would be nice to give my /b/ros hope.
Lord knows half of you fags need it bad.
>>
>>563078047
Expected alot more than that, sorry bro but she's a 6 at most, and you're ugly as fuck, but it doesn't matter because you're happy. But fuck man you're ugly
>>
>>563058858
>2006 - 2009
>Dad got divorced from mom
>Mom moved 2,000 miles away
>I stayed with dad
>Dad got remarried with next door neighbor
>Step mom is fat bitch who never does anything
>She has two kids of her own who are spoiled lazy cunts
>House is always tense
>Constant yelling/arguing, everyone is upset
>Dad decides to send me to go live with my mom so he can salvage whatever was left of his marriage.
>Two weeks after I moved, dad got a letter in the mail that was for me.
>I was accepted to prestigious leadership training seminar, all expenses paid trip to Australia for two weeks in the summer
>Nobody could apply for this program, you had to be personally invited.
>The majority of people who attend the leadership training seminar become CEO's or involved with politics in some manner.
>I couldn't go on the trip because I no longer lived there.
>The summer that I was suppose to go to on that leadership training seminar, I got a minimum wage job at Jack in the Box.
>I always think to myself, if he would have just waited two more weeks.
>>
>>563078656
im in a shitty situation hoping for the best,thanks anon
>>
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>>563078801
I have my good days >.>
Maybe I see her as hotter than she is because of my feelings for her, but w/e.
It also depends on what she's doing.
>>
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beach.jpg
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>>
>>563079089
What's your background, racewise. I can't tell
>>
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>>563078963
Any time.
Things always get better.
And sometimes, the shit we go through makes us into who we need to be.
If I hadn't gone through the relationship with Katie, I don't think we'd ever have gotten together; since we would never have become close friends like we did.
>>
>>563079426
I'm central american.
Nicaragua to be precise.
Parents are at least; I'm the first generation born here in the States.
Funny thing is, I can trace my lineage all the way to Queen Isabella of Spain.
So my gf likes to joke that she's a princess now, since my family is descended from nobility
>>
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>>563078474
Yep that is me
>>
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>be me 9 years old
>Going camping with family
>Both parents work a lot, barely see them
>shitsucks.jpg
>Finally get to spend time with them
>A week later, packed up and ready to go
>itshappening.png
>Drive for a couple hours,
>Arrive at the campsite finally.
>Parents set-up tent and firepit, getting dark out
>Dad decides he wants to cook the canned food over the fire with a rock.
>don'tcare.mov
>Sit around the fire, stomach grumbling and talking to parents.
>Weird noise coming from the can
>Seconds later, can explodes
>mfw Dad didn't poke holes in the can
>mfw I had to go to the hospital not in even a day in
>mfw I was stuck there for the whole week

Nothing serious, but I did have a nasty burn on my neck. The doctors there wanted to make sure there wasn't any shrapnel that would cause problems later on,
>>
>final year in school
>construction class
>everyone fucks around in class
>teacher is Mr Hartmutt
>thinks he's too good for other students and teachers
>has bad knee
>hate this teacher
>we are building a small shed
>tells me to start putting sheeting on the roof
>climb on roof
>climb on roof of bigger shed next to our shitty one
>tell friend to join me
>Hartmutt is furious
>other friends join us
>we start running around on roof
>entire class of 25is now on roof
>Hartmutt is furious
>Hartmutt cant climb up bc bad leg
>Hartmutt won't get help from other teacher bc too proud
stupid Hartmutt
>>
So, here's something kinda neat I just saw.

>3am
>Sister texts
>Her and her friends need a ride home after a midnight bar trip
>Do it for $30
>Go, pick her up, drive her and her drunk-ass friends home
>Dropping off her boyfriend in suburb with the most weird-ass road layout
>Loop around one road to take sister home
>Find a dude standing in the middle of the road shirtless, with a hot chick sitting in front of him

Shame I had to keep driving since my sister was still with me. Otherwise, I might've stuck around and seen if I got a free show.
>>
So did someone actually screen cap my story? Because I'm quite touched actually
>>
>>563058858

>be 13
>in bed asleep
>wake up 3am, my stomach hurts
>go to the bathroom and take a massive shit
>dropping bombs harder that slowly turns to liquid
>finally finish massive shit storm occurring in my asshole
>relieved
>reach over to get some toilet paper
>there's no toilet paper
>I look behind and theirs baby wipes
>use the whole fucking box to wipe my ass
>after finally done wiping my ass I stand up and flush
>close the lid because it looks nasty
>wash my hands and about to leave
>oh, almost forgot
>put a toilet paper roll next to the toilet
>go back to bed
>don't feel like sleeping yet
>get my gameboy advance sp out of my backpack
>play a bit of pokemon emerald and a bit of sonic advance 2
>finally fall asleep
>wake up turn off alarm clock
>brush my teeth
>go down stairs and cook myself some scrambled eggs & bread
>watch some spongebob while eating
>its 8am, time to get ready and head to school
>i finally arrive, in class I put my stuff away and school begins.
>this never happened
>>
>>563081581
I'm pretty sure someone did. It was a very entertaining story OP.
>>
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>be 5 years old
>get first bike
>fuckyeah.jpg
>ride that mother fucker everywhere as fast as i could
>start riding with my eyes closed because retard 5 year old
>ride straight into barb wired fence
>i get tangled in it
>we live on a 5-acre property
>older brother finds me for 3-4 hours
>he grabs me and pulls me out
>oh.fuck.this.jpg
>barb'd wire has stuck into skin now
>flesh torn out
>giant long cuts running all over my body
>i pass out and my brother leaves me, he thinks i died
>he sprints to the house
>gets mum and dad
>ambulance is called
>i get taken to hospital, everything is stitched up
>lost a lot of blood
>almost died
>i watched every single episode of DBZ while i was in hospital
>>
>>563081861
wtf I'm so fucking tired. I called you OP haha. I'm going to sleep. Thanks for the story m8
>>
>>563079089
kudos anon, bagged yourself a bona-fide qt3.14! that chick on the left is fucking adorable though.
>>
>>563082164
That's her mom lmfao
>>
>>563079089
Fuck that fag. She's cute anon
>>
>>563082292
fucking hnnnng! so, about them kinks... what are the odds of you pulling some mother - daughter action?

> Moar milf please
>>
>>563082371
thank you :)
I wish I had a good shot of her when she straightens her hair & puts on makeup.
>>
>>563082569
...
I really wish I could say that I haven't considered it

Probably nothing, since her mom's got a bf herself.

And my gf is pretty straightforward on the rules about 3somes:

Can't know the person too well
Must never ever see them again.
>>
Tried to fuck at 19 year old when I'm 25. She didn't put out. Brother who is 40 got a piece. Now I'm in a band with both of them playing the keyboard. I feel awkward as fuck and I haven't gotten laid in two years and I've never had good sex in my life. Meanwhile I can't stop feeling like shit because they crop me out of band photos and even the sound guy tried to fuck me over by turning my input down and when I told him to turn it up, he did obnoxiously. I think they're too nice to tell me they don't need keyboards in a rock band. Meanwhile I'm sending my own music to indie labels and college radio stations with no reply.
Yesterday I went to twin peaks by myself because I want to take steps in not living a life of shit and get comfortable.

Im trying to not give a fuck but i just cant deal.
>>
A teenage fuckface shot in the face with a dildo on a stick from a crossbow.
>>
>>563083047
thanks man

Is it weird that she's so chill about threesomes tho?

Like, I asked her just because I was curious, expecting her to get pissed

She was just like, "with who?"
>>
>>563083191
alright /b/ros
My laundry is done & I have an early morning. So I'm headed off.
goodnight everyone!
>>
>>563083191
it's stories like this that make part of me wish I'd have kept fishing before getting hitched.

> be fat and awkward as a youngster
> date maybe 3 chicks till I met my now wife
(sidenote: at least I banged 3 of 4, 75% ain't bad amiright?)
> after high school finally drop some pounds
> gain the tiniest bit o' confidence
> now wife shows up at a party at my house 8/10 (yeah standard rating, I know. probably a 5/10 according to the usual crowd here)
> fueled by booze I make my move
nailedit.bat
> four years later I stuck a ring on it
now 27, married, decent job for no college. could be worse I spose. just wish she wasn't so damn shy in the sack.
>>
>>563083897
I'm a dirty liar.

Also the laundry was still wet.

>>563084212
I think that's a common feeling.
The asian girl? literally one of the 2 I DIDN'T date from her friends?

she's damn near hotter than my gf.

She's asian & has like, D cups, is adorable, super smart, and i've seen her in underwear (there was an incident on a beach trip) and HOLY SHIT.
she's also a great friend & we spend a lot of time talking.

And every once in a while I wonder what things would have been like if I had chased her, instead of my gf.

in fact, we've discussed it before. She actually was interested in me back then, and if I wasn't committed, I'd try to hit that myself lol
>>
>>563077862
is that you two in the pic
>>
>>563084496
>>563084496
yep. it all comes back to yet another idiom; the grass is always greener on the other side.

I should probably get back to work though. g'night man! it's been real.
>>
>>563084809
yeah. We went to yosemite & got under the falls
>>
>>563084835
Night!
Thread posts: 118
Thread images: 29


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