BEST OF 4CHAN POST YOUR BEST GREENTEXTS

>>561607440

rollin

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not greentext but watcha gon do

>>561607713
havent seen this in forever
good shit anon

>>561609641
kek

>>561609641
fucking lol

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>>561608920
top kek
>>561608045
hahaha dude thats awesome. the world needs more people that play by their own rules. that mother fucker is straight out of a monty python sketch

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>>561607440

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IM RUNNING LOW ON
>GREEN
CUM

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I've got a few

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worth the read

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>>561611709

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>>561611980

>>561611234
ugh

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>>561612127

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>>561612226

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>>561612497

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>>561612712

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>>561612841
I have plenty more, but if nobody is lurking I'll just let the thread die

>>561613076
Still lurking here

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>>561607440
No Fats McGee?

FIXING THAT!

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>>561613076
lurkin. was going to post the couple I have

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>>561613076

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>>561613454
My last posts will be the story of doradus, broken up into 7 parts

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>>561613876

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/pol/ delivers

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>>561614086

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>>561614463
going make some food, be back in a few minutes

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>>561613076
reading all the tl;dr
need to stick to the short ones like that one. fuckin amazing

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>>561614725
>>561614738
My short ones are usually ones that make someone laugh

I save the long ones because I get engrossed in the story, and a lot of my longer ones are sad. Those are coming up in the future, I'll look to see which short ones I have

now I'm going to be right back

>>561614738
>Parents sitting on the couch and not investigating the sound of a door being broken down

hmmm no sir, I don't buy it.

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REDDIT BAIT BULLSHIT

LURK MOAR OR GET THE FUCK OUT

PENISPENISPENISEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSPENISPENISPENIS
PENISEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSEPINS
PENISEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSEPINS
PENISEPINSPENISEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSPENISEPINSEPINS
PENISEPINSPENISEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSPENISEPINSPENIS
PENISEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSPENIS
PENISEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSPENIS
PENISPENISPENISEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSPENISPENISPENIS
PENISPENISPENISEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSPENISPENISPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSEPINSEPINSPENISEPINSPENISEPINSPENISPENISPENIS

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>>561615079

RAMOS STORY WHAT ABOUT IT DID THEY FINISH?

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>>561616104

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>>561607774
>yfw you realize that it wasn't a deer

>>561610704
topkek

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>>561616376
>>561616506
That's a good one, made me laugh for 20 minutes straight

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>>561616743

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>>561616312

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>>561610525
>drink the rest of my nesquik

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>>561617048
I think that's all the laughing ones I have that I feel like posting, now we're going into wincest, sad, badass, then doradus, then I'm probably out

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GOAT greentext

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>>561617430
posted one wincest on the first one, wasn't thinking

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>>561617818
dont think this is wincest, but whatever

>>561611767
Love this one

>>561608429
All that rage...

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>>561618171
sad now

>>561614296
had to rewatch that video. roflkeks

>>561617430
well, that one trip to hell for me

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>>561618543
right on time

>>561618531

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:')
anon becomes a man

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>>561619679

>>561613076
Lurkin.
nothing to post though, sorry

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>>561618875
damn that was a good one

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>>561620029

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Don't have many greentext, but a fair amount of random threads. Intredested?

>>561613359
This is fucking gold.

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>>561620460

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>>561620647

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>>561620726
I haven't been posting becaus eI'm catching up on what I missed, but by all means, have another!

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>>561620730
moving on to badass

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>>561621016
the fucking captcha keeps disappearing every time I try and type it

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>>561620854

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>>561621380

>>561611563
wat

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>>561621598

>>561618820
Wow. That's probably the most fucked story I've ever ready on /b/.

>>561611563
wat

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>>561611563
speaking of skin, I do have this one creepy story, might like it, might not

After this, dumping Doradus

>>561620730
I would've liked to hear that he went into military service and blew up sandniggers for jesus

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>>561622432
1/7

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>>561622704
2/7

>>561618820

This is definitely the most fucked up story I've ever read

>>561613076
If you let this die I'll give you a bukkake

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>>561622796
3/7

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>>561622915
4/7

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>>561623037
5/7

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>>561623180
6/7

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>>561623278
7/7

Alright, I'm done (willingly)
It's up to you guys now, I don't want to max the thread out on my own, because I want to save some new ones (you can probably guess by now I love these threads)
I'll bump with some spares every 2 minutes if nobody else dumps

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>>561623548

lel

>be me second time ever having sex
>convince girl to go in doggy position
>i'm behind her, fucking her awkwardly
>think to myself "should i slap her ass"
>i think it would be a good idea
>i slap her ass
>oh god no
>i actually slapped each cheek one after another
>sort of like playing the bongos
>i had to pull out due to shame
...

another

>be me with same girl drinking in some park somewhere
>decide its time to go have some fun
>go into some random bush somewhere
>she demands i pull my cock out
>im not even hard yet
>try and change the subject, saying she looks preety blah blah
>boner not achieved
>she demands once more
>i say now
>my cock was as floppy as wet seaweed
>my shame when i try to convince her to have sex with me after the whole "floppy mcdick" escepade
>describe to her in the most awkward way possible what im gonna do to her
>"im going to bend you over and fuck your pussy"
>her face
>my shame
true stories

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>>561607440
Best I got

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>>561622653
I remember that thread.

It was glorious.

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>>561624757
also

requesting that greentext about the irish dude who's friend died

8 beers?

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>>561618820

>>561614296
RIP GODBLESSADOLFHITLER

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>>561625481
Never heard of it. Have this to suffice.

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>>561625481
Here you go
you're lazy

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>>561625963
thread-saving bump

>>561609641
that makes sense in context, though. that's wolf link and you can change into human link.

captcha: listshoo console

Anyone have the creepy thread post of the guy that ran into the wolves on the road and saw the glowing eyes out his back door?

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>>561627405
No, but I have this.

>>561627405
I know what you're talking about, give me a couple minutes

>>561616430
What was it? Sorry, something's going over my head.

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does anyone have that cringy rp story with the guy named eldago or something? that was a satisfying story

>>561614738
For things like this I want/don't want to try drugs

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>>561628720
Then this one's for you.

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>>561627405
Are you talking about this one?

>>561628016
>>561627405
>>561629589
Yeah should be.
If you googled it, what did you search?
I've been trying for 10 minutes

>>561628116
this - can someone explain this to me?

>>561629826
I already had it saved, luckily.

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>>561629998

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There are three parts... please wait

1/3

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>>561630534

2/3

>>561613876
>MFW this is my fucking school's mascot's logo

>>561616312
I have the feeling something like this might happen with me and my mother.

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>>561630958

3/3

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>>561611234

>mfw on the diagnosis

>>561631180
Georgia Tech?

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>>561631613
Fucking awesome.

I don't have any mother fantasies of my own, but I think if I found out my mom were into dragon dildos (or better yet beastiality), that'd probably change.

>>561618531
No more sad bullshit.

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not 4chan

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>>561632769
Done.

>>561629589
That's the one, thanks anon

>>561613876
as someone who also is fucking scared of hornets/wasps this is a completely normal reaction. A wasp once landed on me when i was sitting on a fallen over tree trunk, talking with some friends, i proceed to spin around, jump off the tree trunk (about 6 feet in the air) do a forwards flip/somersault as i land and run off screaming.
I screwed up my shoulder pretty bad and got a gash down my arm, but got away from the fucking wasp. Fuck wasps.

>>561610524
jesus christ.

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>>561633515
Ha! I remember this one.

Allow me to retort.

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>>561633612
I know the feel

>>561620854
I really like this one.

>>561620460
Tears were shed.

>>561611709
Whoa, this would make a good indie film or something.

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>>561634650
thread-saving bump again
I just wish there was some stuff posted in these threads that I have never seen before.
Oh well, some anons will enjoy it

Request t story of the guy who destroyed his exgf using apple juice

>>561614296

i remember that thread

>>561610247
whatever i didn't need to shit anyway

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>>561637121
if you're the same guy that requested 8beers mcgee, you are very, very lazy

>>561618531
Was in that thread. Damn.

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>>561615971

i see your point heaven

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fresh oc from a tumblr hate thread

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>>561637706

>>561611691
I remember that thread

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>>561638464
I laughed, a lot actually

>>561614086
every motherfucking time i read this i cry laughing
i can't even get to the second fart without laughing

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>>561630160
>>561628116
Skinwalkers

>>561638464
wow. i didnt even fucking realize until
>jelly fishing with patrick
i really enjoyed that one 9/10

>>561631180
...

Do you live in Canada...

>>561614568
Lycasin

>>561628720
The story you liked is definitely made up, that's nothing like the effects of LSD, or any psychedelic.

Now deliriants however, are fucking scary, and will make you do crazy shit like that

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Ancient but still pretty decent

>>561608045
stale

>>561640647
not many people get the sardine reference, like in the first episode hahaa

>>561610247
lol

>>561631180
Oxnard?

>>561608395
>>561608395
This shit wasn't funny at all...

>>561642042
yeah now that I know it was about the fairly odd parents i remembered that episode.

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>>561618820

i certainly wish this was fake

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Aight, I'm out for the night, thread is at image limit.

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We'll see about that.

>>561611709

I am disgusted, yet I have an erection.

>>561624956
Oh man, not even 24 hours since the thread 404'd and it's a legend

Anybody still here?

>>561645449
Forget that, we're at limit. It was fun while it lasted, gents. Adios.

>>561645449
I'm waiting for moar

>>561617818
this sounds fake as shit

>>561607612
I cried

>>561638428
Can't light rocket fuel with a lighter, needs an electronic fuse lighter.

>>561607713
you literally made me laugh out loud
thank you

>>561613359
Y'know, I look at my retarded younger brother and I get upset that people treat them this way.

then I remember that my brother doesn't fucking like a giant shit.

>>561610247
I wanted to do this but now...