come on /b/ros I wanna hear how fuck up you were in high school!

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>>553084638
Posted on 4chan

Pushed my teacher off a chair
she broke her arm.
Made it look like an accident.
Bitch had it coming

>17 tabs in a teachers H20 bottle
>not me but oh well story time niggers shut the fuck up
>teacher rolls up
>PAPER IN MY WATER BOTTLE?
>OH WELL
>Last 15 minutes of class were taught by a wizard
>Final bell, everyone rats out the kid who did it near-simultaneously. Too funny.

>>553084965
Printed out pictures of Genki (eel porn)
and stuck them up over the school

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>>553084976
How was 2nd grade?

Fart King
>Freshman year
>hated school
>used to crop dust the cliques of faggots during breaks and lunch.
>did it as much as humanly possible
>changed my diet in order to fart more
ASIDE
>my ass is famous in my family
>drops bombs like operation rolling thunder
SO ANYWAYS
>one day I open my bomb bay
>package away!
>uh oh that's not a fart
>shit my pants loud as fuck in front of just about every pretty girl in the school.
>went to class anyways

>>553084638
Once I didn't do my assignment

>>553085095
Nigga this is a legitimate story. I wont tell you where but I was in class when a kid named Taylor pulled that crap.

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>>553085335
Pls be bait

Most fucked up thing I did?
>Honor roll student
>Like made deals with teachers to hand me work 2-3 days in advance I was so ahead.
>Told my teacher I was going to lay my head down after finishing and being ahead 3 days of work and a test in a class period.
>She slams a book on my head and wakes me up
>I beat her with a chair and get expelled
>Iregretnothing.jpg

>>553085335
You better fucking tell us where you where

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Not HS but close enough:
>Be middle school - 6th grade
>Have sick fuck friend who is obsessed with shit
>There is a large crack in the wall on the floor in one of the bathrooms, large enough to fit two hands through
>Behind this wall was a small enclosure with pipes and shit in it.
>sick fuck friend has brilliant idea of taking shits on to toilet paper, rolling them up, and throwing them through the crack into the space behind the wall.
>Does this nearly every day during lunch for 4 months
>Huge amount of shit is piled up behind the wall.
>Being in 6th grade, think this is fucking hilarious, but don't join in because too afraid to come that close to touching shit.
>Bathroom smells like absolute horror, janitorial staff can't find source of smell because they are all niggertards with the IQ of a goat.
>Being lazy fucks, they don't do anything about it, bathroom continues to smell like fermented goatse from then on.
>Nobody uses bathroom anymore because of awful stench.
>cont

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>cont
Fast forward to 8th grade
>bathroom still smells like death
>school was built in two parts, one in the 30s by the New deal programs, and one in the 90s by questionable labor (illegal spics)
>part built in 90s is horrible build quality
>stinky bathroom is in this section
>one day, it is unbearably cold
>Like zero fucking kelvin cold
>sitting in class (algebra I)
>stinky bathroom is right next to classroom
>Hear loud explosion
>Teacher stupidly let's us out of classroom to see what happened.
>crappily built water pipe in shit bathroom has burst.
>water is slowly flooding out of shit bathroom, just barely powerful enough to push the shitty spic-built spring door open a little
>see water slowly turn brown
>realize that bursted water pipe water is carrying the 4 months of my friends shits out from behind the wall and in to the hallway
>try with the force of a thousand suns not to laugh my ass off as we see log after log of previously dried out shits float out of the doorway
>I am proud of my friend

>>553086258
yes pls

?be me
?7 years ago
? in high school
? exam day tomorrow
? go to bed early
? have a good night sleep
? wake up
? breakfast.jpg
? go to school
? spend some time hanging with friends
? examination
? succesfully answer questions
? go back home happy

>>553084638

Was threatened by my English teacher for sexual harrasment, because I was thrusting behind her and grinded on her arse a little bit on the last day.

She was Polish, she was hot.

>>553084638
why not fucked you shit you did in university?
oh right.

>>553084638
>Constantly wore a dog collar
>Made everyone call me Rover
>Walked on all fours whenever possible
>Eventually people got used to it and started to like me as a dog
>They would pet me on the head and feed me treats
>Started to believe I was really a dog
>Eventually fucked a female dog

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>>553086449
nice green text newfag

>be me
>be boring
the end

>>553086745
why the hell it didn't work?
>Shit is messed up

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>>553086449
Nice work faggot

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>>553084638
>be me
>read magazine in class
>teacher gets mad
>she takes my magazine and puts it in desk until class is over
>she goes for a coffebreak
>i take my magazine back
>when class is over she cant find my magazine
>she aplogizes and gives me money to buy a new

and thats how i earned 5 dollars that day

>>553086449
how the hell do you fuck up this hard?

>>553086449
Cont.:
?be me again
?last week’s exam was succesful
?teacher calls me to her room
?”anon, have a seat, we will talk”
?she is super sexy and shit, 8/10 at least
?im alone with her in a room for the first time
?heart is beating fast
?”yes, what is it about?”
?”your exam last week was great, i will ask a favour, can you help xxx for her homework tomorrow after lecture?”
?i really dont like the girl in question
?nope.webm
?”okay then ill ask someone else, you can leave”

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>>553086968
bro thats not nice. teacher on shit wage as is.

Shot up the school, killed 5 students. I was such an asshole back in the day

>>553087398
Cont.:
?later same day
?xxx (the girl from previous post) coming to me in the corridor
?”hi anon”
?fuck, i need to find an excuse to leave, i hate this bitch
?”hi, sorry i have to go ive got to do that thing”
?”yeah sure alright, but hang on, can i ask something?”
?”fine whats it, be quick though please”
?”ive got this math homework you know, ive still not finished it, actually i havent even started yet, i talked about mrs yyy (the teacher from previous post) and she said she will try to find someone who can help me about it. and i think its going to be probably you that she would ask”
?”yeah she talked to me about it”
?”can you do it, please, i really have to get done with that stuff”
?nopeagain.png
(will continue if any interest)

>>553088060
no fucks given if it doesnt end with hatefucking her in the bathroom

not that fucked up but all i got

>freshmen year
>friend and I bored of some stupid fucking team building retreat
>it was at a church
>sneak off to utility room
>leave friend to piss
>come back
>entire room filled with fire extinguisher dust
>he unloaded the entire fucking thing
>laugh my ass off and leave
>next day
>principal
>rat the faggot out and get off scott free

>senior year
>me and friends driving around
>decide to throw hardboiled eggs at local bar parking lot
>hit some guys girlfriend in the face

>>553084638

Sexually harassed a girl by grabbing her tits via low-cut shirt, unconsentually.

We're married now.

>dat fetish

>>553085593
>not allowed to lay your head down
Where did you go to school alcatraz?
>teacher assaults you, you get expelled.
Yeah no.

>>553088912
He beat HER with the chair.

>>553088060
come on faggot

>>553088968
She hit HIM with the book.
If you are assaulted and you beat the person back to extreme measures, run of the mill, if your lawyer isnt moronic as fuck you blame the teacher for initiating the altrication and if that isn't enough you refer to a long line of past anger issues.
Without fail every time you should not be expelled or face repercussions and the teacher will lose her/his job.

>>553088060
Cont.:
?flash forwarding 3 weeks
?talking with a close friend
?turns out he (zzz) has a crush on xxx (the bitch i hate)
?zzz is desperate and girl completely ignoring him
?i suggest zzz to help her math homework/exam/whatever the fuck she is having trouble with nowadays
?he tries and she rejects the offer
?i feel like i have to intervene because i like zzz and why the fuck not
?go find xxx to ask if she still needs help about math
?tell her me and zzz will be studying tomorrow evening she can join if she wants
?shesaysyes
?plan is shaping in my head
(i wont continue if there is still no interest, this was not pre-typed, im lazy as fuck)

>>553089334
Fucking continue fag, dont start a story then leave.

In 12th grade for my birthday fucked two different girls at school in the stairway. Also pissed in a urinal without flushing till it overflowed in the men's change room and got a bunch of grade 9's clothes all piss covered. Also skipped class to fuck girl in park across the street. Texted all my friends in class to watch from top floor windows teacher came to see what was going on so I waved to her girl had no idea at the time. Laughing at her for months.

>>553089334
Continue

Did so many drugs. 2nd year I started smoking weed daily and using dph and one I got connected I was using RC psychedelics and mdma/shrooms every day. I was too fucked up to make friends or even notice how fucked up I was. I still get high as fuck. No regrets

>throw 3 smoke bombs into biology teacher's classroom
>accidentally end up killing a snake he had for years and two turtles
>even to this day keep telling myself that i didn't know the animals would be there even though they always were whenever i went to that classroom

>>553086359
>Fast forward to 8th grade
>4 months of my friends shits
Pick one

>>553084638
sometimes i threw apples across the quad area at younger kids

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>Britfag
>Catholic comprehensive (mixture of local scum who happen to be catholic)
>we all wear blazer to and from school
>they are left on pegs in what was our locker room in previous years
>be in year 11 (15-16 y/o)
>kid in year 8 throws blazer onto floor almost everyday for a couple of weeks
>find where his blazer is hung up
>drop into toilet
>FLUSH
>my blazer was never again thrown on the floor

twas lulzy to my 15 year old mind, but the school went a bit mental and there was an investigation into it. Resulting in CCTV everywhere. Luckily they assumed it was someone in his year, got away scot free

>>553089334
Cont.:
?i tell zzz only a little of my plan
?as far as he knows we three will gather next day and go to library, i will keep praising zzz with subtle implications and leave them alone at some point with a shitty excuse
?as far as she knows we three will gather next day and go to library, we will study math –me and zzz know it very well– and so she will pick some things
?that day after school i go back home and prepare about tomorrow
?finally next evening
?im nervous as fuck
?we go to the library, everything starts as planned
?i keep praising zzz and bitch keeps ignoring him, trying to talk only to me
?at some point where im expected to leave for a reason, instead i say that ive got a terrible stomachache, i havent eaten anything for hours, can you help me out and get anything with sugar zzz please
?he is already nervous about the whole thing and seeing me in pain he accepts quickly
?he is out of library and now im ready to proceed to next step
?i smile and wink, “i had to find a shitty excuse to make him go for a while”
?bitch is surprised, “i thought you didnt quite fancy me, why are you trying to be alone with me?”
?”im not trying to be alone with you, if i was, i wouldnt invite zzz today at first place”
?”then what is this all about?”
?”i have to warn you about him, probably you can tell as well hes quite fond of you, i just didnt want you to fall into his traps without knowing him very well, even though i dont really like you ive seen enough girls suffering because of him”
?”what?”
?”he is a sadist, i mean proper one, his ex girlfriends were all time wounded and cut, he does some brutal things when he makes out with people, just be careful”
?”this is stupid, im not even interested in zzz, why are you telling me all these, youre supposed to be his friend arent you?”
?all still goes as planned, she thinks that was an obvious lie and thinks i made a retarded move
?ready to proceed to next step

>threw diluted battery acid on assholebasketball team
>set off fire extinguisher in their backpacks
>beat the shit out of three of them at once (Jeet-Kune-do motherfuckers)
>threw one in lost and found bin that had a jacket with human shit on it
>desk-sniped the other by throwing a desk halfway across the gym

I told the whole stories on one of these threads back in April but I don't have time to do it now.

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>>553087398
>nope.webm

>>553090481
hurrrrrrrrrrryyy

>3rd grade/year of high school (or however the fuck that's called in the American/British school systems)
>Have chill geography teacher, often lets us pick youtube videos to watch on the digiboard after he's done with today's lecture
>Has trouble keeping order though, sometimes flips his shit suddenly and kicks someone out
>One day it happens for real, one girl gets kicked out for dropping a pencil on the floor after he'd anglily silenced the class
>Girl sitting next to her protests, saying it's unfair and gets kicked out as well
>Teacher starts rapidly pacing back and forth behind his desk, lecturing the entire class at shouting level

>For some reason I think his entire outburst is incredibly funny
>I'm simultaneously terrified of him kicking me out as well if I laugh but I can't stop making weird squeaking sounds as I try to keep in my laughter
>Sit right in front of the desk, literally two feet away from him
>Continuously try to mask snickers by burying my face in my hands
>He stops pacing and looks at me
>Ohshitnigger.wmv
>"Is something wrong Anon?"
>"mfhihi-no, I'm fine" *muffled snickering*
>An eternity later the class is dismissed

Fuck, I'd never been that scared in my entire life

>>553090389
8/10 post purely for the Rocky Horror Picture Show pic, without it, I would rate a solid 4/10

WOAH BLACK BETTY
BLAM BELAM

>>553084638
Me and my friend would suck each others dicks after school.
His house would be empty so we'd go there and blow each other most days.
Lots of 69ing
Let him cum on my face one time but regretted it afterwards.
I liked swallowing though.
Went on for a couple of months until he got a girlfriend.

>be me
>freshmen year
>on the football team, trying to fit in
>don't get along with most of the other assholes, but made friends with this big motherfucker that likes to play pranks
>this kid is fucking crazy
>so late in the summer, we get sent off to football camp
>there's this half retarded, asshole of a nigger
>always picking fights with people
>one day, my big friend decides to shit in the kids pillow case
>to contain le shit, he holds a plastic baggie under his ass
>puts bag in the pillow case
>i died
>go around telling everybody
>everyone's laughing, but some are really pissed and taking it serious
>cont?

This is the only decent thread all day. Cont all stories cunts

still waiting for that hatefuck

>>553090481
Cont.:
?zzz comes back with some chocolate bars, handing one to me, one to xxx
?”uh, thanks ill pass, im not hungry”
?”this is just snacks, come on you dont have to be hungry to eat a piece of chocolate”
?i pretend im still trying to warn her with my eyes, trying to tell her not to accept chocolate
?to emphasise it, i also dont eat my own bar
?”arent you gonna eat it man, what are you doing –he also tries to ask about whole situation going unexpected for him– you just said you felt bad and had to eat some”
?”yeah ill have it in a bit dont worry im better, we can go back to the original plan of studying math” –in the mean time trying to imply ‘the’ original plan that he thinks he knows
?we keep studying for a while, im not leaving for any reason, zzz gets more and more nervous
?at some point finally i get up saying “fuck this book doesnt have the example ive been looking for to show you, ill go check the shelves for something else” he hardly holds his face with no emotions
?i add “xxx, can you come with me, ill need a little help about the book”
?she is fucking strange, quickly accepts and gets up while zzz is about to start saying something
?i move fast and leave, making her having to follow me quickly
?we are now away from our table and zzz, i whisper him “im sorry about before, i acted like a complete retard i dont know what i was trying to get like that”
?”what do you mean anon, what before?”
?”you know, about zzz and being a weird ass sadist shit, i think i was desperately trying to get him out of equation, i mean, get it? equation, because we study math”
?she smiles
?”i just didnt wanna see you being together, i felt bad for all times i rejected anything coming from you, more i think about you, weirder i feel inside, i apologize again”
?she keeps quiet, i pretend i dont know what to do with my hands and start picking random books

>>553091310
>go around telling everybody

Are you fucking crazy? Also, cont.

>>553090481
gogogogoogogo

>>553091637
?she puts her hand on mine on a book
?”its fine, really, you dont have to apologize”
?we look each other in the eye, smile silently, get the first math book we have found and get back to the table
?rest of the study time nothing happened except we kept looking at each other and smiling secretly and zzz got more and more pissed off
(will conlcude the story with last part now)

>>553084638

>GAYFAG STORY
>be 16
>Older bro is 18
>We close
>Tells me I can go with him to Senior party
>Fuck yes!
>Get there
>Lot of his class was there
>know a couple people that I took electives with
>Couple of the jock bros mess with me cause I am younger
>Make me drink alot
>brother ends up passd out with his gf
>I'm still awake with a couple drunk bros
>One of them asks me if I ever smoked pot
>I tell them I haven't
>Get in the mini van with him and another guy
>both of them are hot 1 blonde 1 redhead
>They start smoking a joint
>Blonde hands me joint
>"I am 12, how do I do this?"
>He gets behind me
>hold my hand that has joint and brings in close to me face
>Whispers in my ear, "Suck it and hold it in."
>Maximum over blush
>Inject the pot
>Get boner from pretty much sitting in blonde bros lap
>readhead says, "You got a boner dude?"
>He reaches over and fondles my crotch
>Start to get nervous
>Blonde bro asks, "You gay?"
>I don't reply in fear of getting beat up
>Redhead starts laughing and leans in
>Blonde and redhead start making out while I am in the middle
>Feeling redhead's bod agianst my face
>They stop making out and redhead frenchs me
>then blonde kisses me
>the all take off pants, I suck blonde guy off and redhead off.
>Go back inside house
>pass out
>never see them again.

Wasn't my first gay experience, but was the hottest

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>>553090654
Wow man you sound really cool.

>>553084638
never fucked my gf

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Senior year, May 2010:
>We got a lot of snow in February, school was out for like two weeks
>There were still huge snow/ice drifts around town, and near my school's parking lot
>One night me and about ten other friends went out there with shovels and spread the snow all over the parking lot
>School canceled the next day

>>553084638
Masturbate on the toilet seats in the boys room

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>>553090973

>>553091310
why even ask

>>553085593
in my opinion, one must be a huge pussy to get pissed in such level just by getting hit with a book

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>>553084638
I fucked my friend's little sister in the art hallway bathroom while I had a muffin in my jacket pocket, then made this fat Mexican kid in autoshop smell my fingers.

Me and my mate used to bully this american girl Julia at our school, because no one likes americans outside of america.

> She writes a story
> ask if i can see it
> It's about her waking up with amnesia in the forest, running with the wolfs, etc etc.
> I get my mate and some others to distract her as I run to the library which is down the hall
> Her story is only 1 page, I photocopy it once (i knew how to use it for free), write "By Jordan XXX", photo copy that 100x
> Because she's in my next class, I stick it up in multiple spots on the way there. Go back to english and hand out a few copies discretely
> I hand it back and ask her why she is stealing jordans story
> She doesn't know what im on about

Bell rings, she starts walking, starts running, starts tearing papers off wall, starts crying, starts screaming

She went full mental case.

> In maths at the end of the year
> Teacher doesn't want to do anything
> How about a movie
> I perk up, How about 300
> Great idea Anon
> Wolf scene comes up
> wolf is kill
> Julia runs out of the class screaming (literally)

> Be in english
> Watching spiderman
> Peter parker kissing upside down scene
> Been hearing a constant schlicking for the past 10 minutes, faintly.
> Look to my left

> "What the fuck Julia's poking herself"
> Just as everyone looks she eats a booger with her spare hand

>>553085305
woah

>>553086359
damn yo, ive definitely seen this pasta before

>>553091737
Cont.:
?we go back our homes, zzz is mad at me all the night and the next day, i try to convince him that i made a mistake about that day but ive got something in my head, just be patient
?in the meantime keep seeing xxx secretly, looks like we have a good secret romance going
?for the weekend i invite her to my place, saying that my family will be there so that im not trying to fuck her right now or anything, but also we will be alone in my room so that my family wont bother us
?she says yes again, she always accepts anything i offer, apparently she had a crush on me for a while and even she admitted later that it was herself that suggested yyy (math teacher) to talk to me about her math homework at first place
?i call zzz, tell him that ill make it up for every time i failed him, tell him to come over this weekend, my family wont be home and ill invite xxx as well, he can be alone with her, fuck her, rape her, whatever the fuck he wants to do with her
?that retard accepts my offer right away
?family really wont be home and i will act like it was some sudden shit they had to leave when xxx arrives
?my plan is to fuck xxx while zzz is waiting in the other room, making sure that he hears us
?i also thought about setting up a camera system so that in the next room he will watch us on tv or some shit, turns out im not able to do such a thing, going back to ‘make us heard’ plan
?comes the day that i will literally fuck xxx and metaphorically fuck zzz
?i have him in a room telling him to be quiet, xxx doesnt know that youre here so wait
?i have her later in my room without a sign of zzz being there
?everything is perfect
?except im too nervous and while we are kissing and making out i cant get a boner
?also the fact that i never actually liked her doesnt help me get a boner
?i have to think something quick
(okay so this wasnt last part, coming longer than i expected, next post everything is ending)

broke someone vase

>>553086258
I loled in front of my parents.

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>got 3 cranes and painted 1, 2 and 4 on them
>teachers are looking round the school for crane number 3
>see, cranes can up up stairs but not down
>it took a pig to get them out

>>553091310
Cont:
>go chill in my dorm room (for football camp, we were at a nearby college)
>cracking the fuck up, but trying to lay low
>could feel it in my gut I just got into too deep of shit
>hear knocking at my door
>ohfuck.jpg
>roommates a real quiet kid, half deaf, gets up and answers the door
>people flood in
>this is how i die
>getting interrogated by all the jocks
>didn't actually do anything, my friend did, so im not freaking out that bad
>head nigger says, "alright, well you're still gonna get your initiation"
>balls
>tells me to start doing pushups, and then made me put ice on my balls, after football it felt good so they just kinda left
>phew
>coach and two seniors come in, along with my friend and the kid who's pillow we shat in
>shit gets too serious and my roommate leaves
>me and my friend are standing there, coach is screaming
>tells us if it were him, he'd beat us the fuck up
>tells us to stand there and let the kid hit us, threatens that if we defend ourselves. he'll punish the whole team and get everyone pissed at us
>stupid me believes it
>my friend stands there, starts taking punches from the half retard kid (the other two bigger kids were just there as guards i guess)
will cont

>>553086359
greatest story ever told.

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>>553093136

>>553093136
i kek'd.

>>553089332
Sounds like she hit the desk with the book, son.

>>553092737
Cont.:
?apparently i thought i was good at planning shit but im not a fast thinker
?i cant think of anything for next step, im just trying to kiss her louder (kissing someone louder, what a retard) so that zzz will at least hear this part but there is no sign of him knowing what we are doing, he is still waiting silently
?i stop kissing her for a while, starting to have spaghettis in the room for my masterplan is failing, i look around, she has questioning eyes now
?i see my swiss knife on the desk and remember the day we studied together
?i quickly grab the knife, cut her forearm
?she is terrified and screaming
?zzz finally hears and comes right into my room
?she looks at me, she looks at him, i look at him, i look at her, he looks at her, he looks at me
?i have a knife in my head, her arm is bleeding, he is at the doorstep
?fucking awkward moment
?she keeps screaming ”what the fuck anon, what the fuck are you doing what the fuck is all this”
?he starts screaming ”what the fuck anon, what the fuck are you doing what the fuck is all this”
?i dont know what im doing so i just start screaming “what the fuck anon, what the fuck are you doing what the fuck is all this”
?i desperately throw the knife to the ground and run away, leave my own house with them still inside
?i never learnt what the fuck happened later that night
?i didnt go to school for a month or two
?later in that year they started to go out but they didnt make it any longer than 6 months
?im still alone after 7 years and on /b/
?sad fucking ending

>>553084638
Asked my recently divorced Spanish teacher how to say "divorce" in Spanish. She broke down in the middle of class.

>>553087430
it's $5 it's not like that's much

>>553092594
Also I once mentioned to my mate that my science teacher looks pregnant

I said it quietly, she looked at me with a really sad look, almost puppy eyes. I just awkwardly looked down, and after that day I never saw her again

I legit feel bad for that one, I actually hope she's okay. the baby must live on.

>>553093490
gg wp

I attempted to massage my Indian teacher's balls to get an A in chemistry. Will greentext if interest.

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>>553093490
>sad fucking ending

Actually anon, a combination of karma and retardation made this the ending that you deserved and a pretty fucking funny story from an outsider's perspective.

>>be 15-16
>>raging addiction to synthetic cannabinnoids among other things, resident drug addict of my school
>>week long trip to surrey for gcse geography
>>teacher pulls me to the side while we wait for the train
>>"Anon, I really hope you haven't brought your cigarettes, or there will be serious consequences."
>>"Nah, wouldn't be dumb enough to do something like that, I don't want to screw up my education"
>>board train, the place we were going was about 1 1/2 hours away
>>dem cravings though, agony
>>get off train, waiting for a bus
>>quickly split from my teachers and mates and walk behind a van
>>prerolled joint ready
>>smoke smoke smoke
>>feelsgoodman.jpg
>>"this is a good feeling, I would like to maintain this feeling"
>>was only planning to smoke a little bit here and there to keep me good
>>decide to push this as far as I can to see what happens
>>arrive at the place we're staying
>>another bus from our school got there before us
>>spot a mate
>>"Eh man, I know you like bud but you've got to try this shit"
>>give him a joint, start scoping for an area to smoke
>>theres some trees and shit round the back
>>smoke that shit up
>>higher than any kite to have ever existed, haven't even dropped off my luggage yet
>>bullshit orientation session and lessons
>>sneak off to smoke every 30 mins, working on my buzz

>>553093986
You're underage

>>553093490
kk

>>553084638
pt 1/2
not me, but some fucked up shit my mate did
>be me
>year 10
>be best bros with a guy since first day of year 7, lets call him bob
>new girl comes to school
>she puts on the whole innocent girl act
>reels bob in
>he gets into a relationship with him
>she still had the innocent act in public but behind closed doors shes a freak
>bob lives 15km out of town (remember this later)
>wants to fuck her
>asks to stay at my house the night
>sure.jpg
>turns out shes living 5 min walk from my house
>living with 2 guys a year older who live on their own
>her parents live in another town about a 45 min train ride from our town
>the only thing i can think of is she gets gang banged by these guys all the time
>he sneaks out at night
>goes to her house and fucks her
>i get pissed
>dont let him back in to mine
>goes to another friends about 15 min walk from mine
>get phone
>tell other friend
>he locks all doors and pretends to be out
>hahahahahahahahaha.png
>calls parents
>goes home
fast forward 2 weeks
>shes got him whipped
>he started smoking again (he went through a smoking phase in year 8)
>he starts smoking that weed
>thinks hes black
>cutting class
>gets suspended for smoking in the school grounds
>mum picks him up and takes him home and goes back to work
>mum gets home
>hes gone

>>553094326
pt 2/2
>ran away
he fucking lives 15km out of town
>dont hear from him for the next 4 days
he messages me
>tells me he rode a scooter into town
>went to train station
>took train to her real house with her which is like 45 mins away
i can happily say im not friends with him anymore

>>553089975
Are you retarded?

>>553093986

cont
>>wearing sunglasses inside, bait as fuck
>>"Anon, why are you wearing those?"
>>"Uhh.. hayfever, yeah"
>>lessons over, free time
>>sitting with my mates who also used
>>listening to them bitch about how they want to get high
>>whip out my baggy of AM-2201
>>roll up a few, get them really fucking high
>>one of them sat on the floor chatting shit about how the walls of shifting
>>fucking amateurs, pranging because I might get busted
>>teacher walks in to check up, we play it cool and they don't seem to notice
>>hatch a plan to peer pressure people into getting high
>>most people didn't do drugs there
>>manipulation skills fully charged, start working at it
>>end up getting around 15 people out of 30 that night high without getting caught
>>bare innocent girls smoking too much and sketching out

>>553094428
>"are you retarded"
>4chan

Banged ur mum lel xD

Fucked a girl in the school bathrooms

>>553088912
>>553089332
when i was in sixth grade a teacher thought a kid was laughing about something in class and so he held him by the ear and hit him, and so when the kid slapped back he got hit again and then expelled. not every school is super-modern with student defending laws.

>>553086745
Nice sage with an image, fucktard.

>>553093490
wow

>>553094650
I'm gonna spread your father's legs and batter his cornhole with a legion of salty, tiny, white soldiers until your mom gets jealous

>>553094141
past tense dipshit
>>553094569
>>next day, get approached by these big black dudes from a school up in london
>>"eh blud, got any of the good shit you get me?"
>>hook them up, tell them to go easy or it'll fuck them up
>>noone ever listens. ever.
>>they smoke way too much but they loved it
>>keep working on my buzz

TL;DR I ended up getting most of my peers high, didn't get caught but got expelled a few months later for accidentally knocking someone out with the same drug, got sent to a PRU and my drug use went into maximum overdrive, haven't got any qualifications. Ended up getting clean in mental hospital, now I live in a homeless shelter. I regret nothing.

Don't really know if it's interesting.
>Lived quite a typical life, guy
>hetero during school, dating etc
>often would come home and do slave master webcam shows
>get naked and have masters tell me what do
>dildoes, enemas, cross dressing, pissing, humiliation, orders, sissification

Never really thought much of it, was fun had some good times with it

>>553095060

I know what you said. I called you underage.

After school me and my girlfriend had sex in the back of the school

>>553089975
>Does this nearly every day during lunch for 4 months

It's like you weren't even trying to read

>>553094412
now, some shit ive done
>we had a few "out of bounds" areas at my primary school (ausfag)
>2 of them are the "big ones" which will get you detention or a "prime star" (get 3 in a term and you get suspended)
>my friends and i decide to be badasses and chill at one of the "big ones" (west of the school)
>teachers come and yell at us
>run to the east side
>run to the other "big one"
>teacher giving chase
>theres a 7-foot tall fence
>me and my friend run up and hurdle it like nothing
>teacher cant jump it
>start laughing
>run
>run to oval
>do this on regular basis
we thought we were top shit

>>553088463
>Church?
>Principal?

>Cute freshman girl on the bus I used to ride wanted to be a fashion designer
>she would draw outfits she wanted to design in a notebook all day
>me and three other guys (Sophomores) on the bus would make fun of her all the time for this
>I felt really bad about it because she was cute, but did it anyways because peer pressure
>one day one of the guys rips out a page of her drawings
>crumbles page and throws it out the window
>she goes rage mode and hits him, starts yelling
>this is not okay, you may not fight back woman
>grab her notebook of drawings and throw it out the window
>she punches me as hard as she can in the face twice
>my nose starts bleeding really bad
>sent to office and kicked off bus/given suspension
>totally worth it to get punched by super cute girl

If only I remembered her name and could apologize to her. Oh well.

Sit in lunchroom by the glass doors. If I see anybody coming as soon as the doors open I interrupt the conversation yelling at one person at random in our group.

"See this is what happens, this is what happens when you let a random stranger fuck you in the ass"

Watch as person walking by is mind fucked

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>>553085250

>>553088060
>still cant greentext
>cant use false names instead of 'xxx' and 'yyy'
How long have you been on 4Chan? Serious question.

>>553089975
GTFO OF MY /B/

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>>553088463
Enjoy eternity in hell for being a snitch ass nigger
pic related, it's you

>>553095086
Did tons of anal shows and still fart really silently to this day

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>>553093136

>>553085335
cool story bro

>>553095510
>primary school again
>middle of autumn
>giant piles of leaves from these huge trees in the playground
>LEAF FIGHT
>grab the biggest leaf i can find
>run to sand pit
>create sandbomb
>hehehe.webm
>get a pile of leaves and hide bomb in middle
>run to the chaos
>50-100 students battling it out
>run into the middle
>blindly throw the bomb
>itsgonnahappen.gif
>hear a loud thump
oh shit
>look back to where i threw it
>kid on ground with sand on his face
>some gay cunt in my class (hes literally gay)
>run for the hills
>nobody saw me throw it in the chaos
>nobody ever found out
<
<
>also, one time i found a box of Yu-Gi-Oh cards
>nobody around
>takes box
>shoves in bag
>go outside
>kid asks if ive seen the box
nope.avi
>deny
>walk off
>come back as the bell goes
>kid literally crying from it being taken
>claims it was worth $300
that was bullshit as i only $100 for that shitty deck

>>553095690
whats wrong with my greentexts?

>>553093490
You got them together, that's all that counts.

>>553096687
they aren't green

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THIS IS THE STORY OF ILL PHIL

>senior year in high school
>sit with a bunch of punks from auto shop
>theres a retard in auto, names phillip
>they convince him to sit with us
>we dub him ILL Phil.
>apparently they've trained this kid
>treat him like shit
>put cafeteria fruit in his backpack
>he never looks in the fucking thing so it goes rotten
>phil smells awful
>we would wait for him to sit down and throw things like pizza on his chair so he would sit on it
>AWWW FUUUUUCKK
>hes sitting in pizza with his fists clenched up like pic related
>stands up
>cheese crushed into his pants and grease stains errywhere
>would grab a huge stack of napkins and hand them to him one at a time, and tell him to throw it out
>but not the trashcan near us, the one all the way across the cafe
>he would do it for the entire length of lunch and never eat.

theres alot more but im bored

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>cuck
>gave friend my moms panties
>almost get caught doing it
>keeps doing it

>>553096763
?are they supposed to be?

>>553096975
>thats why its called a "greentext"

>>553093490
you deserved it

>>553084638
Sitting in 9th grade english get bored and go to the bathroom. Set bathroom on fire. Go back to class and act natural. Five minutes later see reatards run down the hall. Think oh well eventually someone tells that I was one of the last people to use the restroom on that hall. Result 9 months probation and expelled for half a year and still graduate on time. Gotta love American schools.

>>553096773
She looks fine.
Moar

>>553097213
?shit, you actually have a point there

>be green

>>553093490
Worst story ever newfag

>>553095060
>lives in a homeless shelter
>browsing 4chan
>kek

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>>553097414

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>be me in 6 grade
>its week before end of the school year
>whole school is in gym playing games and shit
>theres program for that day with performances and stuff
>i got picked out of nowhere into group of 5 most funny guys to tell some jokes in front of whole school
>please no.png
>i was nervous to drop my spaghetti so i came up with idea
>iam gonna tell the shortest joke i know
>its the hour and the day D
>iam standing in front of whole school, microphone in my hand
>"Young nigger is telling his white neighbor - Do you know what iam gonna get for birthday? Your bike"
>whole school is shocked
>teachers dropping their shit in silence
>DEM LOOKS.JPG
>walking back to sit when principal stopped me
>dissapointing look on his face
>"You really showed yourself"
>hands me chocolate for participating
>mfw the niggers from school thought it was funny

>Started a fake facebook account of my best friend
>Writing awkward shit to random people at school none of us knew
>Fun at first, but it gets boring
>Starting to insult people
>"Nigger, faggot" etc. etc.
>Next morning a nigger confronts my friend
>My friend has no idea and starts crying
>I told the nigger he's lying
>My friend gets beat up and lost his tooth
>Never spoke with my friend again

I kinda miss him

>>553097412
no way

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>>553096975

I used to troll the comments section of my school's student website nearly every day during study hall - from the same computer as well.
One day I came back after taking a sick day off, and some friends told me that the school administrators came into study hall the previous day and watched everyone's computers; saying that someone was posting shit "from a computer in this room". They never found out, of course.

Along those same lines... I found out how to log in to the school system with admin privileges, so naturally... I would change the wallpaper to the "blue screen of death" and hide all icons and taskbar. The school actually paid an IT company to "fix" their computers. I would've loved to see that guy's face lol

Ahh yes.... 7th grade was so fun.....

>>553095060
wow that was actually the shittiest story I've read all month

>>553097938
Also managed to get into school/media communications. There were a few kids who did something newsworthy (idk what) and had written up short autobios for the local paper to publish.

So of course... me and some other losers start editing them to say that such-and-such "loves to suck cocks" "likes to get anally raped by midgets" etc.

Obviously, the newspaper caught on, and just to be nice we preserved the unedited versions and those ended up getting published.

But the sophomores who ran the student newspaper didn't catch on; they just copy/pasted it and when the first copy came down the line..... the computer teacher was so pissed. I heard all of them got detention but no one ever discovered the true culprits.

>>553084976
>H20
>20
>0 not O
It's not H twenty, it's H two O

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>>553097875

>>553086449
>hurdur best greentexter there is

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>be me
>sophmore year
>had a credit recovery class with at least 15 of the most hilarious and stoned out dudes
>know at least 6 of them
>cool
>teacher,lets call him Mr.Hawk
>Mr.Hawk is constantly talking shit about how we were never gonna graduate blah blah blah
>fuckyounigger.WEBM
>always drinks those shitty Mcdonalds crappés
>light bulb faggots
>i tell one dude that sits next me,kinda Beta but he was cool to go and distract Mr.Hawk
>"naw man i dont wanna get in trouble"
>just do it fucker
>he goes to the teachers desk and starts talking to him
>sweet
>i have this fat ass eraser i stole from this one chink at my geometry class and i chuck it hard as fuck at Mr.Hawk and BOOM it nails his fucking coffee
>Frappe goes everywhere on his laptop and all over his clothes
>everybody goes apeshit
>teacher flips the fuck out and interigates all of the dudes hahah
>know one knows shit lol
>i eventually meet all the funny ass dudes and some most 7-9/10 chicks
>that summer all i did was party with these guys and get faded everyday
>goodtimes
>all because of a fucking eraser

>>553094412
You're a fag

>>553085250
What, you farted in school?? LOL THAT'S INSANE YOU ARE COOL

>be freshman
>meet a dude who shares my interests (basketball, vidya, women)
>his name is emre (i live in sandnigger land turkey but myself and everyone I know is white lol)
>emre is really good at bball, like absurdly good for our age
>he has a fucking shooting sense i've never seen until i met him
>ball control like there's no tommorow
>i'm the tall dude who can dunk and rebound better than everybody
>we make the perfect combo

so we become great friends and all that bla bla hanging out bla bla vidya bla basketball bla bla etc. until one day this happens

>playing basketball with emre at our hoods court as usual
>it's just us and we're 1v1 ing each other (single hoop, two hoops would tire us out too quickly)
>since i'm tall and i can just block his layups and shoots, rebound into dunk etc. he loses
>usual stuff
>he's obviously frustrated
>"god damnit ozzy (real name is ozan but he calls me ozzy) how can you jump so high
>"dunno it's not something i can control, i just jump like this"
>jump
>"you know what? i'm going to try to slam this ball into that fucking hoop"
>he's always been jealous of my jumping capabilities and wasn't that keen on dunking, he was the dude who got past the defense and then we just ally ooped, that's always been our go-to plan. i was the spearhead and he was the hand that maneuvered the spear. but i could see something in his eyes, i couldn't tell if it was jealousy or inspiration but he was determined to dunk that fucking ball. if only he stuck to what he could do maybe i wouldn't be writing this story on 4chan

>he runs up to the hoop with the ball in his hand
>ball misses the hoop entirely, his hand briefly touches the hoop but slips on it
>the momentum he got from running forward causes his body to continue to go forward while his hand acts as a sort of pivot
>basically he swings forward on one hand and then lets go
>i see him falling backward
>before i hear that fucking crunch all our memories together flash in front of me
cont

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Here's a shitty story
>Be Me
>Beta as fuck Frosh
>Health Teacher says we need to make a poster talking about our life, has to start out with birth, end with a future goal
>scale of low to high for each event
>manage to convince my teacher to let me put death as my future goal
>birth as lowest, death as highest
>have some normal shit then at the last minute i decide to put down that i sold my soul to satan and make it the third highest
>do a shitty job on it (i finished that day) and decide to present it for extra credit
>nervous.jpg
>have to go last because I hate speaking in front of people, teacher forces people to go before me because i was shaking that bad
>tell everyone in class I sold my soul to satan
>Scare everyone, especially teacher
"no anon, no"
>mfw I got 19/16 on my project
>mfw everyone would avoid looking at me for the next couple of weeks
I'm pretty sure i still have that poster lying around

>>553100070
>CRUNCH
>the back of his head hits the concrete and it makes the sound equal to an egg hitting the floor
>i'm in shock
>see blood
>get my fucking phone and dial 112 (991 for sandniggers)
>ambulance comes
>they pick him up
>etc. etc.
>fast-forward 10 years and from what i've heard of he's still a comatose vegetable, my fucking emre that i used to play vidya and basketball with is just lying in that hospital on life-support because his family is retarded

that's the story of a friend that i lost /b/

Bully this fat kid repeatedly
>Make him buy me cookies so I'll be his friend
>Anger him til he loses his shit and bangs his head on a wall
>Tell him I'm gonna fuck his sister when she finally comes to our school
>Tell him I raped his sister
>Insult him at every chance I get
>Make his life hell
>Laugh when he confesses his dad beats him
>Regularly just steal his shit
>Date the chick he's in love with, he just says timidly "... Uh.. Well done"
>Fuck her, tell him all about it in great detail
>Break up with her a week later, lol @ him

I was an asshole

>>553100604
Man i would have beaten the crap out of you lol.

>Be little preschool fuckhead
>future best friend playing in sand
>Me and autismal kid take shovels and beat him
>notevenapenalty.webm

Wonder were he is now,

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>>553100340
>Dunked.

>>553101407
Yeah any sane person would have done.
This kid was a total faggot though, I used to just slap him across the face for no reason reason.

>Hey Fag, give me some cash for a cookie
>.. but.. b-but I only have enough money to get home
>SLAP. Don't be a dick, I'll be your friend
>.. Uh.. o-okay


I deserved a beat down

>>553084638
>sit n talk shit with friends during break
>grade 8 walk by
>friend ask him "wheres the cheese?"
>what cheese?
>we know you smuggling cheese
>?????
>come here bro
>he come and sit
>friends tackle him, take off all his clothes
>tie him to a pole with only his underwear
>bell ring
>everyone return to class, except...
>principle wanna know who did it
>no one knows

>>553102326
>tangable

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>>553097865
10/10 Anon

>>553097865

Who needs enemies with a fucktard friend like you?

>>553097865
you just gave me an idea