No problem is too big or small. No judging involved. I'm here to help however I can. I don't have all the answers, but I can hear you out and do my best. We're all friends here, so come on in and get it off your chest.
I'm a single parent and my daughter, 13, is my only child. My wife died giving birth to her.
Our life is pretty normal, we are close, no secret between us. But you see, lately she's starting to flirt with me and checking me out, so to speak.
Now I know she's at that age when her hormones are literally driving her crazy. I knew from the very beginning that she would end up attracted to the opposite sex. I just didn't think her object of affection would be ... me.
As a result, things get a bit awkward, at least on my end. She seems to have no problem not-so-subtly flirting with her old man.
So yeah, it's a pickle. Maybe this is just a phase and there's a good chance she would grow out of it. But the problem is, she reminds me of her mom. She's like, a much younger version of her. And it's driving me nuts cause I started to see my late wife in her.
>>552489834 well, being on /b/ of all places, you should know you aren't the only one to be tempted with thing likes this. Of course, there's no helping a teen's hormones during puberty, but as her father you should talk to her about what she's going through, and try to explain that these feelings are purely out of instinct, and encourage her to be mindful of this and to use her head. Set the boundaries, but be understanding and patient. I can only imagine how hard it must be to lose your wife, and understand that you are lonely, but you have the ability to keep yourself in check and do what's right by her and yourself.
>>552489608 Im having trouble losing weight again. I used to be 300, got down to 180, but then girl issues happen, was being used and etc, and i got back up to 260.
I understand letting something so dumb get to me emotionally is bad and unhealthy, and im far over it now. But it left that feeling of emptiness, purposelessness, I cant really stick to any kind of positive thinking for more than a few days before i slingshot right back to where I was.
Hi I am a 13 year old girl . My dad is a single parent. I love my dad but lately I have felt attracted to him. I've been flirting with him and I think he is starting to figure out I am interested in having sex with him . How can I get him to have sex with me
>>552491278 Buy a motorcycle. Even if you're fat and lonely, when you feel the rev of real metal jiggling your thunderthighs and the ripple of wind under your jellyrolls, you won't care that you're fat and lonely.
>>552491278 I'm sorry to hear that, man. Obviously you know the general "eat right, water not soda, exercise" gist. Do you have any hobbies or interests? The best thing, I would think, would be a distraction. Devote some time to a hobby or interest, especially if it get's you outside or active. Maybe find some things you haven't tried before but seem interesting? No better time than the present, after all. Even something simple as getting a cheap mp3 player, load it up with your favorite songs and take a walk to clear your head when you find yourself dwelling on it too much. >>552491424 You don't. >>552491579 Motorcycles are fun as hell. Just be careful if you do!
>>552489608 I’m 21 year old sophomore in college and I still have no idea on what to do with my life. I'm fucking horrible in math and science. I’m alright at English, but I’m shitty in government and history. I get distracted way too easily which make it harder for me to do well in school. I basically suck at every subject. As of now I work at a restaurant and I really don't want to work there forever, but what can I do if I'm shitty in school? Last year my gpa was a 3.2, but that only because the classes were easy, and no I did not enjoy any of them. I'm also not good with social situations and I find making friends kinda hard. I'm also pretty mentally unstable. My emotions constantly change so it really fucks with my days. I also tend to fall in love way too easily. When I meet a girl irl or on the internet I “fall in love with her and it gets to a point where its almost obsessive. I know its probably not real love, but I still have these feelings towards the women. The worst part is that I never tell them. I’m too afraid of the rejection. I know I don’t have a shot with them because I’m like a 4/10 and they’re like 8-9/10. myself esteem is complete shit and I’m also having trouble getting motivated by each day. I haven’t worked out in months and I am losing weight (not in a good way). I know this is a lot and it might be something you don’t have all the answers to, but I want to improve myself, so I could use all the help I can get.
Tried this once. I asked her about boys in school and whether if there's someone caught her attention. She just smirked and told me that they're lame. I honestly don't know how to encourage her. Any idea?
Yeah, we had the talk after she got her period, around one year ago. She's a late bloomer I think. Nothing special, just you know, hey, pad or tampon? Be careful about boys, protection, and so on and so forth.
>>552492175 Buy a motorcycle. It is the vehicle of self-discovery (e.g. Easy Rider) and though it won't make you smarter it may help you realize that your academic problems aren't the end of the world. Also they're cool as hell, so no more social problems, and they're at least 6+ sexy points- rocketing you from a 4/10 to a 10/10. Who rocks? You on a motorcycle.
>>552492064 Yeah i was doing the walk thing for a while, money has become an issue, lost my temp job as well. I can get by, but unless trying new things means practice being homeless outside for fun, theres not much I can afford to try.
Of course i could just be ignorant for ideas if you have any.
I have a treadmill and exercise bike at home I use. I put netflix on the tv and force myself to do an hour each day. Lately though after that im pretty much done with life for the day, just cant muster up to do anything for myself. My attitude is always different when asked to do something for someone else though - i'll put in hard work and full effort to make sure things are done well and done right - so i know im not lazy, i just dont like me and cant seem to fix that. Not even heavy exercise can pierce that "why bother" wall of apathy anymore.
>>552492912 All I have to do is follow a routine of don't eat a bunch of junk and exercise an hour or two each day. It was super easy the last time, now somehow i manage to fuck it up every other day. After I feel better about how i look id have no issue getting another decent job and bouncing back. Its so simple and I keep fucking up.
>>552492175 quite a bit there. let me try to address one at a time. stick with me while I type out my suggestions, so don't think you're being ignored, friend. >>552492643 basically, yes. don't be cross with her, of course, but if you are too subtle the point might not get across. And it's good you got the talk out of the way. Just hold your ground and resist the temptation. I'm sure you will both regret it later if you don't. >>552492912 hmm, well maybe just normal excercise has become boring? Have you considered a martial art? maybe something that can challenge you both physically and mentally?
>>552492985 Buy a motorcycle. Then when you roll up people will be like "Oh shit, motorcycles are tight. I wanna talk to that guy." Or bring a book/notepad, cuz people are nosy as shit and they'll wanna know what you're reading/writing, but this is lame compared to the engineering orgasm of fucking bicycle powered by motor
>>552493537 yeah id love too, but cant afford it right now, i torrented some mma exercise videos to do. Im gonna force myself to start and if my roommates start up i will probably snap and end everyone. I have no other options but to look like a retard in my own home for free.
senior in highschool, just turned 18 a few months ago. im barely going to pass high school, never had a job, have a big drug problem im stealing from my family now for money, no car or even license either. how do i get my life together?
>>552492175 Oh gosh, where to begin. As for school, man there is this bullshit idea that once you get to college you have to know what you want to do. I'm here to tell you this is BS. I graduated with 2 degrees (Business Mgmt / Russian) and I still have no idea where I'm going in life. I'm in sales and moved from the Midwest to DC area, and now it looks as though I'm moving with the company to TX. I hated most of my classes, but it's just the idea that you have to pass them and do well so you'll look good to prospective companies willing to hire you. Go out and find out what you're passionate about in life, what makes you happy? Find that and do it (trust, me 24 here and still shopping around for that. My current job is a placeholder that provides me $$). Problems studying? Get adderall, it's the nectar of the gods for college.
As for the emotional stuff, I'm in the same boat man, I started that way at least. I'd fall for a girl way too damn hard and become Jo Jo the idiot circus boy and scare her away, you're coming from a place of scarcity. I want hot women but they don't want me. Once you realize that it's all BS too and you can have any type of girl you desire, it starts to go away, little by little. Rejection is what all people are afraid of, but think of it this way, what do you have to lose? Sure she may not be interested, but at the same time, she very well could be. Give yourself a chance. It's better to try and fail than to never try at all and beat yourself up over it for the rest of the day. Don't put women on a pedestal, once you do that they are out of reach.
What I'm hearing mostly is excuses. You want to be better but aren't putting in the effort to do so. Get your lard ass up, go to the gym, study, hit on that girl at the coffee shop, and learn what it is to truly be the best "you." It isn't an overnight process, but become that BAMF anon, you can do it, you just have to want it.
>>552492985 Smile, look at the door now and then like you are expecting someone, maybe vary the conversation starters. find something you like about a person and just make a passing compliment to start a conversation. >>552492175 hmm, ok, I'll try to address the first one. If you are having trouble finding something along the lines of normal school subjects, then maybe a trade skill is more up your alley? do you like working with your hands, or creative in any way, such as writing? If you are good at english, things like proofreading jobs could be a good choice. Otherwise, maybe carpentry, engineering, or another sort of craft? apprenticeships are still a good way to go as well, whether your into cars, metal working, or things like that. I wouldn't worry too much about the making friends part. keep in mind a majority of people are pretty shitty, and it is generally better to keep a few good friends than a bunch of kinda-ok acquaintances. In the end, whether it's friends or girlfriends, you should try to find a way to be happy with yourself. Unless you can do that, the companionship of others won't make you happy. I would throw that 4/10 shit out the window. I've seen some UGLY ass mother fuckers get with (and marry) some gorgeous women. It may be over-stated, but confidence really is what matters. >>552493961 maybe look into other styles. don't forget that MMA is Mixed Martial Arts. In order to mix them, you should know some of the individuals. Ishin ryu is a good style to look into. there are videos of the katas they teach. they take some time to memorize and get down, but trust me, they are worth it. if you can read Bruce Lee's Tao of Jeet Kun Do, then it does well on explaining the basics of martial arts in general, applications of it, and how to find the style(s) that work for you. >>552494413 in short, it's all about self control
cont. in a sec. trying to keep up, please be patient with me
>>552494413 Steal a motorcycle. Flee to the open road. The best cure for junk is an addiction to freedom at 80 mph. When you're barreling down the sidewalk like a combustion powered cheetah-falcon your gpa won't matter, your money problems won't matter, and the dozen or so cops chasing you won't matter. Just trust me, they don't matter. The open road is all that matters. The motorcycle is your new mass and volume, accelerating to infinity
Hi /b/ros. Life ain't so good right now. I'm 19 and I feel like I'm the only one with such a shit life (I know I'm not, it just feel incredibly Shitty and sad). It's not even a problem with girls. I've had two girlfriends and lost my virginity so that stuff isn't what's bothering me.
I finished my first year in college as an engineer. I decided to go into it with that major because it was something I thought I was interested in at the time. Well I can now say I'm not interested. It's not that I got bad grades. I managed a 3.0 but got lower bc I withdrew from my Calc 2 class which made me very sad and failed my engineering computation class because of a plagiarism issue.
I know I know. It's song story for a other time but because of that my depression is worse. I'm now done with my first year and in summer just chilling. I've gotten a fear medications and recently a huge fear of getting allergies to anything or dying from them. I will sometimes not take my 40mg of prozac because I'm afraid I might have forgotten I had already taken one and take a second thus overdosing.
Because of my fear of Meds and overdosing and getting an allergic reaction to something I'm not using my acne gel. I used it twice and yesterday night I was up all night because I was too afraid to sleep because it felt like my throat was a little tight or that something was in it. I want to use the gel because my acne is really bad. So that makes me sad.
Also I'm supposed to sign up for summer classes but I rely don't want to. I just hate thinking that I'll have more Shitty stress from classes. I hate it. Also I was supposed to see a special doctor for a program for people with anxiety and ocd but I missed my first appointment because I got lost on the way driving there which made me so upset I just broke down while driving. I haven't called the doctor back in three weeks to set up a new appointment while I told my parents I already have. But I'm too scared to call back.
The only things I find enjoyment anymore is music, movies, friends, food, soda, caffeine, and sex. I don't know if it's normal or not. By the way I don't smoke weed, do drugs, or drink alcohol. I used to enjoy doing all that but since being on Prozac my doctor said I can't and that definitely has made me so much more sad especially being in college.
I just want to be happy and find something I love to do and be paid doing it. Maybe music...
>>552495221 Buy a motorcycle. That way, when you eventually do get an interview, you'll ride up in style. After you leave, the boss will turn to his secretary and say "Beatrice, out of all the candidates we saw today, who seemed like they really had their shit together?" And you know what Beatrice will say? "The motherfucker with the motorcycle." And he'll say "Yeah I'ma hire that fantastic bastard" and she'll say "I'ma bang him in the broom closet" and you'll say "thank god I listened to Anon and got that sick-ass motorcycle."
>>552495103 Thanks for the advice man. I actually started going back to the gym a few days ago and I felt pretty good. I have 20 years of fucked up events I need to fix, so I know its gonna be a bumpy ride.
This video Kind helps me sometimes. Hopes it will help you or anyone else.
>>552494413 ok, what >>552494618 suggested could do you good. You'll certainly learn some self discipline from it. Air Force would be the branch I recommend. What is really important, though, is figuring out what you want to do. What can you see yourself doing every day? >>552495103 this. He gets harsh in the last lines, but sounds like he has a good understanding, and I don't find any flaws in his logic and suggestions. 5 star post, and thank you sir for your contribution. >>552495221 THAT is something I understand too well. first and foremost, don't let up. If you have friends, set up for them to be your references, get a story straight, and lie your ass off. A lot of places won't double check. twice now I've impersonated a Sergeant 1st class for a friend of mine when he came out of the army, and got him the job both times. >>552496082 it's understandable. a lot of people think they want to do something, only to find out it wasn't for them. what else are you interested in? It's tough to start over, but sometimes that's what it takes. You just need to keep yourself determined, and go for it. >>552496301 ok, sorry my responses are starting to seem rushed. I'm trying to keep up, but in short: 1. set an alarm to remind you for your medicine. take it right at the alarm, no hesitation. keep that habit, and no worries on missing a dose or taking too much 2. everything you use, take, or may take, go to a doctor and get tested for allergies to these things. if you get confirmation on what you are and are not allergic to, then you have no more worries about it. 3.call the doctor back and reschedule an appointment. there's nothing to be afraid of, it is their job to be understanding and to help you. 4.as for your enjoyments, yeah, pretty damn normal. take the time to figure out which thing you are most passionate about, don't be afraid to try new things, and then just go for it. music? try writing songs, mess with some music programs.
The sex has literally dried-up, she rarely cooks, has an annoying ass dog she worships (which literally barks at people until they pet it, then it growls until they stop and barks again. For hours on end), and we constantly argue.
Although, she pays her share of the rent, has the only car/license in the house, and cooks.
I'm considering breaking up with her, because the lack of sex and arguing over stupid shit is getting REALLY tiresome, but I'm too nice-guy-greg to do it, because she moved into this state specifically to be with me at the start of the year, and we're in the middle of a 1-year lease on the place.
Thought about cheating/getting a side chick, but I've got literally no idea how to go about it. Met current GF on dating site, and I rarely have luck on said sites due to being sorta-beta (after I actually know a person a little better, I can act a lot better around them, just excruciatingly shy the first hour or two I meet/try to talk to someone), and I hardly think I'd find someone willing to just be on the side or being non-committal enough to just fuck.
>>552496082 >>552496301 Ok this one's tricky but I'm gonna say: Buy a motorcycle. While you're out there, unconfined by seat belts and passengers and the world's petty squabbles, your anxiety and ocd will simply melt away and puddle on the asphalt behind you like a forgotten oil stain. You will be reborn, a phoenix of confidence and dick-swinging machismo that doesn't care what his plans for tomorrow are because no matter what, they will be awesome on 150 horsepower. You'll call your doctor and call him a bitch, and then you'll make him cure you with bionic implants you damn future-warrior road-demon. Also the helmet will hide your acne.
>>552489608 The older I get the more I realize I make enemies a lot easier than friends.
I think this is because I'm an arrogant prick. Yet, I really do not know any way of going about changing this without it seeming like I'm cutting out a part of my personality... which is what I'm trying to do.
guess nothing bad could come of this. Hey guys, 22yo here. Been with gf for 3 years, b4 her was with another girl for 2 n a half. I kinda have this idea in my head right now that I either have to stay with current gf for the rest of my life, or until whatever happens and possibly waist time. Or I break up with her soon. Go back to living with parents and live the single life I never experienced when younger. Any advice?
>>552497608 number one, I don't suggest cheating. that will only make things worse in the long run. It sounds like you guys are having a rough patch. No relationship is without it's problems. Before considering breaking up, try to talk things out and see if you can get to the root of the problem together. what do you two usually argue about? is it mostly the same things? if it's little pointless stuff, then it may be stress related. be honest with each other and determine if there is something else at play, and if you two are just taking your frustrations out on each other. realizing if that's the case would be the first step in finding and addressing the problem. communicate about the sex thing, maybe trying something new could spice things up? >>552497817 huh... no clue at all, i'm sorry. that sounds like something /d/ might be able to help out with. I'm sorry, I wish I could help more. >>552498392 np. a friend of mine had that trouble for a while (he has schizophrenia), and started using his phone's alarm to help him keep track of his 3 different meds. >>552498632 that's definitely tricky. you have to find some sort of balance, and in between. of course, don't forget a majority of people are shitheads, and it's easy to make enemies without doing anything at all, so it may not be completely on you.
>>552497608 Relationship troubles eh? Well, only one answer for that: Buy a motorcycle. When that chica sees you bring home the jetpack of horses she'll cream her panties except they'll already be in a puddle on the floor because they will have already MELTED. She'll jump on your D faster than you can choke the throttle and probably even fry you up some eggs on the exhaust pipes will you're taking her for a bumpy ride wink wink. Also that dog sounds like it needs some exercise, why not tie its leash to the handlebars and make it run til it's too tired to be a little bitch? And say goodbye to shyness, you'll be beating off mistresses with a leather jacket, figuratively or literally. You decide, you got the motorcycle.
I am fucking crazy about this girl. We have years of history back to high school where we dated on and off. Now I'm in college and we wanted to try to see how we fare outside high school. Plans change, I get new gf, she gets bf. She breaks up with bf and wants to date. I break up with gf but she tells me she's talking to someone and wants to give him a chance. Wat do?
>>552489608 I am 21 with a driver's license and I want to be able to drive around on my own. I live with my parents and I am studying medicine, so no time for a job. How to convince parents to let me use the car? Or any alternative?
>>552497817 Now that's a pickle, but I have to say you should buy a motorcycle. She/he will forget all about diddling themselves to my little harry twilight fanfic when she sees you tame the metal thunder with your crotch. She/he is gonna have so many new fetishes you're gonna need three new dicks or vaginas and probably both.
>>552498632 Alright jerk listen up: buy a motorcycle. People expect you to act like a dick when you're riding a giant metal penis and looking so good while doing it. Fuck their minivans, fuck their pitiful little lives, fuck their feelings. When you lean into the curve and gun it you are alone in the universe. You are the king, you are Zeus, you are bloody Yahweh Imperator. Buy a motorcycle and claim your destiny you fucking asshole.
ok, looks like I'm finally catching back up. If I miss someone, or if I responded and you are still not satisfied, don't hesitate to post again to remind me and/or elaborate more to help me get a better understanding of your problem. >>552498918 hmm... keep in mind that you aren't stuck with anything for the rest of your life unless you tie the knot (and even then it's not permanent if you're willing to risk a lot of financial loss). If the relationship is important to you, then even if it ends, it will not have been a waste of time. You'll have gained some good memories, experience with connecting to another person, and if done right, a better understanding of yourself. Are you happy with your gf at the moment? Are you thinking of breaking up with her because of some rockyness in the relationship itself, or purely because you are afraid that it might be a waste? >>552499697 Sounds like she may be playing the board. I can't say for sure, but could she be the type that would easily dump someone for an "upgrade"? if so, it might be best to cut your losses. >>552499798 Why do they not let you use their car? Is it because of worries about insurance/lack thereof, or some other reason? >>552499831 motorcycles don't solve everything. a lot of things, yes, but not everything.
>>552489608 I'm in the IB program, going into my second year, and my grades range from "Great" to "hey that's not so bad" to "wow they fucking suck". First sem of IB chem I finished with a fucking 68, finished IB economics with an 87, finished IB math sem 1 with a 67, and I finished IB French with a 73. My fucking marks fucking suck, and in second sem I got 94 in IB English sem 1(teacher's really good), 81 in IB Biology sem 1, 61 in Physics, and 92 in Economics sem 2. How fucked am I in Uni if I want to become an industrial engineer? What should I go for??
>>552498918 Hmmm, I have seriously considered your predicament from every apparent angle and I have this scholarly advice to offer you: Buy a motorcycle. Your girlfriend will not see this coming, and if she is not immediately accepting you may need to evaluate how well she'll accept other possible surprises that you may want to experience in life. What if you want to take acid and light shit on fire when you're 32? If she doesn't take kindly to a motorcycle, you can bet she's gonna put the nix on your pyrotripping midlife crisis. Also, being single+motorcycle=domesticating massive amounts of strange. If she does accept the motorcycle and acknowledge its economical and utilitarian superiority over her, you should probably put a ring on that hoe. That hoe's a keeper.
>>552489608 Fuck it, should I just cut off all ties with my family? I raised my siblings and they've slowly become tumblrites over the years after my mother got custody again (she's a very hardcore left wing feminist and a bulldyke lesbian). My mother used to beat me for being a guy etc etc I recently started getting a lot of opportunities in Sports Entertainment and have an audition for NXT quite soon. As soon as this news hit and I got my letter I've had nothing but hear them bitch and moan about money problems and are demanding I loan them a lot. I've given about 6 grand to them and as soon as they get the money they go off and start bad mouthing me again and I'm getting sick of it.
People keep telling me "Blood is thicker than water" but I really am starting to think if I keep giving them money they'll keep pushing me away. What do /b/?
>>552499697 Woof, what a delicate drama of romantic politics and interweaving personal nuances. Deep in my heart, a sympathetic voice confidently says: buy a motorcycle. Ride it to her door. Like, all the way up her sidewalk to her door. You should be knocking on her front door with your tire, is what I'm saying. DO NOT DISMOUNT. That is important. To dismount means to accept failure. When she answers the door, make-up freshly done and hair gently billowing in the vibrations of sex appeal radiating off your chrome and fire robot steed, she will be the most beautiful she has ever been. Why? Because she's getting ready for THE big date with the other guy. That's right; the date where he proposes to her and steals her away from you forever. He even pulls into the driveway behind you with some fancy rich guy car like a mercedes or a toyota prius. She looks at him. He beeps like a douche. She looks at you. You rev the bike like a leader of men. She hops on the back of your bike, prom dress and all, and she flicks off that other guy as you pop a wheelie into the sunset. Listen to my words. Listen to your heart. Buy a motorcycle.
>>552499798 I don't think you've read any of this thread. IT'S SO OBVIOUS: Buy a motorcycle. They're like what, 7500 bucks? Save up over a summer, it's gonna be so much sicker than your parents' shitty volkswagen anyway. I shouldn't even have to say this. Motorcycle/10 made me reply
>>552500712 I see. That's a tough situation. As for your father being strict, all I can suggest is to be persistent in trying to negotiate. Keep a level head and try to find a middle ground. Find how much it would cost to add you to the insurance, and maybe find a way to come up with it. Even without time for a job, there could be other ways to get the money if you can get creative. even something simple as pirating movies and selling them to classmates for a few bucks a pop could net enough money to cover it. >>552500917 ok, let's see... economics, english, biology, and then french seem to be your strongest ones. first off, how passionately do you feel about being an industrial engineer? if you say "strongly", then don't be discouraged and just keep at it. In the end, you can still find a job if you stick to it enough and prove you can get results. if "not so much", then there are a lot of fields you could do decent in. Work at French a little harder, and there is good money in translator positions, and I can't even begin to list all the possibilities for economics or biology. I wouldn't stress too much either way, it will only hurt you more to worry about it. >>552501587 "blood is thicker than water", if what i've read is correct, comes from a longer saying of "blood of the battlefield is thicker than water of the womb", which actually means friends>family. You can't chose your family, and some of us get stuck being related to shitty people. You chose your friends, though, and can decide to be friends with good people. If that is how your family is treating you, then yes. drop them immediately. They obviously just want to use you if what you say is true.
I don't want to go to college, not when I'm worried about making ends meet with money as is. I've always been interested and cooking and I was wonderingg if I should take a risk and try working in one of the best restaurants in my state as something small like a dish boy in hopes of eventually working my way up. Would this be a waste of time?
>>552502349 They've been taught that anon. You cant trust anyone in this world, not even your own fucking family. Respect is earned, not given. Besides, you didnt ask her for life. You dont owe anything to her. She wanted a kid. You shouldnt pay the price because she suddenly regrets it. Leave that shit and move on.
>>552500917 I dunno what an IB program is or what any of those numbers mean but I see you want to be an engineer so I offer you this advice: study a motorcycle. Revel in its synthetic glory; the wonder of what human thought can manufacture between brain and hand and machine in the realm of speed and badassery. "But I want to use my engineering skills to help people," you might say. Fret not, young pupil, motorcycles do help people. Imagine if you will a single father who, upon reaching his workplace, discovers that he accidentally took all of his child's life-saving insulin with him in his briefcase. He knows he needs to return to the house immediately, even as he thinks it his child is convulsing on the ground with the sugar-shakes. But lo! An accident on the freeway has brought traffic to a standstill all the way to his house. How, just how, is this noble man supposed to bypass all those trucks and sedans to make it back in time to rescue his diabetes-stricken child? On a fucking motorcycle, obviously, weaving betwixt obstacles like a heroic needle threading an erratic seam. A motorcycle that you helped develop, because right here, tonight, you decided to drop everything and study motorcycles. God bless you Anon, you're doing God's work.
>>552501429 Thank you, good to see others who want to help. You presence is much appreciated, good sir. >>552503292 I would keep in mind what you find important to you. I wouldn't second guess your current relationship over a what-if that could be decades away. and even if it does turn out that way, it will not have been time wasted. You'll still have gained something out of it. There will always be problems in a relationship. If she means so much to you, then cast away your doubts, so no to the temptation, and stick with it. worrying about a problem that hasn't occurred yet will only destroy what you have needlessly. >>552503460 I don't see how that would be a waste. Go for it! You'll have your foot in the door, and when it comes to things like that, what matters most is skill and results, not a degree. better give it a try and fail than to settle for anything less. People have accomplished bigger dreams than that, bro. >>552503860 second
Nigger, are you stupid? If you're in a relationship and you want to fuck, then fuck. Don't ask for permission, just do it. Your problem is that you keep ASKING for sex, rather than taking sex. Next time you're feeling horny, grab her, bend her over the nearest piece of furniture, and fuck her till you bust a nut. Bitches love that shit.
If, on the off chance that doesn't help, break up with her. Simple as that.
>>552501587 Fuck man family troubles are tough, and there is no simple answer. Except this one: Buy them motorcycles. Do not give them money, they'll just ask for more. But if you give each and every last money-grubbing one of them a damned motorcycle, what are they gonna bitch about? "Anon we need money," they'll whine, but you can say "A motorcycle wasn't enough? Rhetorical question culeros, a motorcycle is always enough." And you will be speaking the truth. They don't even have to be good motorcycles! In fact, save the good one for yourself, so if they complain of hunger you can make them eat your dust.
>>552503292 Yikes Anon, to many yours would seem an enviable position, what with being the object of affection for two lovely honeys, but I understand. I've been there before and came out with no regrets, so allow me to suggest to you, from a place of benevolent experience, what you should do: buy a motorcycle. When that engine combusts millenia-dead dinosaurs and sends thrumming kinetic energy through your body, the machine puts your mind in perfect sync with you body and most importantly- your heart. Nowhere in the world are you more in tune with yourself and yay, even the true nature of Right and Wrong, than in the saddle of a silverbacked powerhog going at a velocity that just makes sense. The motorcycle is a mirror for your innermost feelings. Listen to it. The motorcycle was in you all along.
Well anons, I did not start this thread but I've been here since the beginning, and have finally offered solid advice to every single one of your existential quandaries. With work in the morning, at least I can rest easy knowing that maybe, just maybe, somebody out there listened to me and finally bought that damned motorcycle that they didn't know they were dreaming of.
>>552507135 all I can say on that is what my father told me regarding tattoos: "to make sure you don't regret it, decide on one, keep it in mind for at least a year. If you still want it after that length of time, then go for it" >>552507226 lol. it was good having you, /b/ro.
I'm just passing through this thread, but I just want you to know that you're the man. I don't know what circumstances brought you to post witticisms on /b/ in the middle of the night about curing all earthly ailments with a judicious application of motorcycle, and I don't care. I imagine you're the kind of person who's been told all their life that they were going to cure cancer or solve P=NP or something like that, and now you're in your 20's, and things haven't gone all that well for you, and your only creative outlet is to cast your pearls before /b/tards, 'cause hey! Nobody else in this god-forsaken world wanted 'em. And you know what I say to that? Fuck 'em! You're better than where you are now. You're the kind of person who'd have been a Swift, or a Joyce, or a Vonnegut, except you came of age in a dead sea of baby boomers and sitcom flotsam, and nobody has time for literature any more. Go get a motorcycle and, in the absence of a society that cares, at least you can take comfort in the wind through your hair and the screaming pavement retreating from your hurtling wake.
im hopelessly head over heels for a coworker, but the thing is she says she "doesnt do dating" yet everyone tells me she digs me and we should be together but when im actually with her she acts SO flirty and then says something about not dating and what not. i think i should just skip and attempt to get over her
>>552500917 I went through 3 years of the IB program. Did horribly. HORRIBLY. Horrible grades. Senior year, I got even worse grades. Guess where I am now? At a major university boasting a full ride. What you have to realize is as long as you pass the class and take hard classes, colleges will beat off to your transcripts. Sports and community service never hurt either. Good luck chump.
>>552507683 >>552507860 Yea, had a friend that had to go the rehab route and even opted to be thrown into the detox tank. It was rough seeing him all spazzed out but it was either that or the Amy Winehouse route.
>>552508251 I'd really suggest not doing it man. There's the whole "don't shit where you eat," thing, and trust me been there first hand, the less you want her the more she'll want you. UNLESS she is just doing this for shits and giggles, in which case at least at that time you'll know if she was just yanking your chain.
>>552508607 fuck yeah, thanks anon, now, any advice/strats on how to get over someone fast? I normally just pick up skating again and hanging out with homies anyone else do something to get over females?
>>552508251 she may just be looking for a no-strings attached type of deal. but getting involved with a coworker can very easily go badly. I wouldn't recommend it, personally. >>552508186 he asked, so apparently part of him wants to kick it. >>552508281 Might be time to cut and move on. I'm sorry to hear that, but we all make mistakes. If you can't make up for it and fix it, all that can be done is live with the consequences. >>552508913 pretty much whatever distracts you the best, which is different for each person
I've had a crush on this girl for a while We hang out as friends but I want to move forwards I write a lot of poetry and prose so I'm thinking I`m going to write a love letter Do chicks dig confessional love letters?
>>552509208 you just gotta relax. you are working yourself up too much. >>552509552 it's cheesy as hell, but some chicks dig it. it never hurts to try.
anyways, it's gotten later than I thought, and I have a busy day tomorrow. I hope I was of some help to you all, and I will be making another thread soon. Everyone, take care, stay safe, and remember: I love every single one of you. That is all.
>>552509208 >>552509876 I used to think about this, and it never made sense to me how people could just let conversation dry up.
I think the problem may be that you aren't actively listening, you're hearing what she says but not paying attention to it. She'll always have something that she says that you can jump into a personal story or something about. It's about not trying to think up a response to what she says but actively engage her by truly hearing what she is saying.
Ex: She mentions she likes to travel, I just took a huge roadtrip across the US and I lived in Russia. Oh she's never been to yellowstone (roadtrip) well I have a hilarious story about a bear.
It just kinda flows. Jokes, quips, stories. They all stem from you taking in what she's saying.
>>552510335 tell them. if you honestly think you may be dying, the who can blame you for being a little needy? Enjoy what time you can with your friends and loved ones. I hope you have much longer on this earth though, but I know I would like to be aware if one of my friends had a medical condition like that.
I'll try to make this short. I'm 20 years old and I have a son who is 3 and a half. I was supposed to get married in March but she left me. Signs point to that she left me for this other guy but she denies it. I had bought her a car and I've been giving her the money to pay for it until this month. She and I moved in together only a few months before she left. Now I'm by myself with this 510 rent plus utilities every month. Someone stole my wallet from inside my house and I'm sure it's her. She denies it. We are disputing charges that showed up on a credit card of mine. She's totally wrecked my credit and my life. I'm still fucking her occasionally and she's the only girl I have ever been with. She keeps stringing me along and borrowing money that I know I'm not getting back...but I love her too much to say no. How can I move past her? I'm beta-ish. I can't make a move on a girl. The only one I've tried anything with is a girl I work with and she had just broken up with her boyfriend so she wouldn't go for it. I was gonna put her through college and go back but I'm so financially anal-gaped thanks to her that I can't afford to work less than 6 days a week.
>>552510669 I'm glad I can help, and I'm proud of you for doing that. It takes some self control to do the right thing. I wish you the best in your relationship, bro. >>552510269 what >>552510724 said, minus prostitution.
>>552510994 Don't be afraid to be alone for awhile. I know it sounds scary, but being alone would be a damn sight better than the hell you're in right now. It'd give you a break; maybe some time to find out who you are outside the context of this codependent mess of a relationship.
>>552510994 wow, she's treated you like shit. first off, break contact with her, have nothing to do with her. I know it sucks, and it hurts, but you NEED to tell her to fuck off. Next, talk to a lawyer, and tell them everything. You can't take that sort of thing lying down.
Right now, thinking about love or a relationship is the last of your priorities. number 1, first and foremost, is taking care of your son, secondary yourself, and you can only do that with finances. You can't let a scumbag like that steal from you. Give her nothing else, and start trying to find a cheaper place for just you and your son.
>>552511401 I'm not so afraid of being alone as I am of the consequences of letting her run my life into the ground. I really don't know what I want out of my life at this point. I want to save money and take a vacation but it's obvious I'm not meant to do that. I just need some time off of work and that 300 that was in my wallet was possibly going to help me do that...
I would definitely get the key back from her, and cut all ties. How do you not see that you're literally condemning yourself to a living circle of hell while she's still anywhere in a tri-county area?
CUT THE BITCH LOOSE! Love? You LOVE the soul sucking harpy that has wrecked your credit, stolen from you, and used you as her personal atm? Yea...totally makes sense to me. Also, don't you think all this shit going on is going to negatively affect your son in some way?
You're full on beta...not "ish."
TL; DR: Alpha up, drop your deadbeat bitch of an ex and start living a life that will make your son proud.
>>552489834 Anon this is a tough one, you can't talk her through it. Does she have an aunt? Grandmother? You may think she is flirting with you but at that age she doesn't know what flirting is.. really.
>>552511592 I have tried to find a cheaper place. Nothing is available right now. And she has him and custody of him. I tell myself all the time I'm through with her but the moment she walks in my door I'm wrapped around her finger...I don't understand why. It's like I'm addicted to the abuse or something.
>>552489834 It kind of sounds like you didn't set clear limits as she grew up into preadolescence. If you gave her privacy and encouraged her to be independent then she should grow out of it, but if she has an unhealthy body image then she may need to see someone professionally. Speak to your GP for them to recommend someone appropriate then meet with them and discuss your thoughts and have her meet with the girl to find out whether your fears are true
I've been dating this girl for about 10 months now and she's pretty awesome. We have great sex, she's faithful, has finances of her own, she's pretty much what I would want in a girl. Except for her past, she really used to fuck around with guys when she was younger, had sex with at least 20 dudes and messed around with more. I'm pretty sure it was because she was molested and beat as a kid, but anyway sometimes this shit just bothers me. I knew it going into the relationship and other then that we just have simple couple fights. But today we fought and somehow the past got brought up and completely made me loose sexual interest in her..Idk what to do. That shit disgusts me and it makes me regret dating her. She feels shitty about her past but I don't know if i should just get over it or break up with her before things get more serious. Do I just sound like a huge pussy?
>>552511875 Small town perks in the rent I suppose. But that's also why my income isn't extreme. I wait tables for most of my income so income fluctuates. Yes I love the cunt that's destroying my life. And I suppose I should've just said I wasn't very good with women rather than beta. She's the only one who walks all over me. It's fucked up that way. Everyone else gets a middle finger when they try to pull shit on me.
>>552492985 Read 'How to Talk to Anyone' by Leil Lowndes. You can build a skill set of topics to help you in these situations.
For this one, specifically, my recommendation is to build up to it. Start in fast food places or coffee shops, just casually spark conversations with random strangers like 'oh the service here is terrible' 'I love the coffee here (assuming the coffee isn't starbucks). You will build the confidence to start approaching people in higher stress situations like bars in no time.
tl;dr start in less stressful situations.
Actually, just re-read your question. I would still do those same things, because they are reasons for you to be in the place when you start the conversation. I.e., you are buying a burger so you're chatting about the burger. When you go to the bar, why are you going? To have conversations? Then you will seem like a loner. Most people go to bars to drink, so go and have a drink and suss out the situation, if there is someone to talk to, then great - but don't put pressure on yourself to have a meaningful interaction every time
>>552512749 What about her is it that sets her apart from all other women? I used to think like this man. It's because you're deep down worried that w/o her you're never going to find love again and that no one will love you?
What do you mean not good with women? Talking to them?
It's a vicious circle. I have trouble talking to women therefor... I still love my ex who abuses me monetarily and emotionally therefor... I keep getting walked all over and stuck in this shitty situation therefor... I get down on myself and hate life/situation I'm in therefor... I have no confidence in the area of women because I'm so beaten down by this last one.
Hell I could even get use out of this book. I can approach at times, but I'm getting over that approach anxiety thing. Here's the odd part, if she is in my vicinity I'm golden. At that point I don't need to approach, she's already there and I can make a quip that turns into conversation. Makes absolutely no sense on why the approach fear is there...
You'd be surprised what kind of answer you get if you just ask someone what's on their mind. Just listen. Maybe you are doing something that's annoying her. She made a commitment to come this way to meet you anon, she obviously likes you
>>552499798 I'm surprised how many anons post with problems that could be solved by a little talking and listening. Anon, think of reasons they would not want you to use their car and reasons why you think they should. Then, at an opportune time, when it's calm at home and there is nothing planned, ask to speak to them about the matter. Requesting their permission to speak demonstrates you are serious about the discussion. Using the info you've built, you can then attempt to counter their arguments and convince them.
They probably don't want you to jeopardise your budding medical career, so think about why you do want to go driving? To get into trouble? To assert some independence? To build up confidence driving? To go get hamburgers?
Try to not get worked up if they still say no. You may need to demonstrate further independence before they let you do that.
>>552513520 I really don't know what it is about her. When I say I'm not good with women I suppose I'm not giving myself credit. I can talk to them just fine. I can talk to anybody just fine. Serving the public has done that for me. I guess I just can't find a girl that's interested in me. I already lacked confidence before my ex. I really don't know what to do with women though. The girls I work with are 90% of the time very attractive. I can talk to them no problem. I even have hung out with some of them after work. I suppose I don't know how to open. And if I don't know how to open I probably don't know how to close. All I know how to do is run a restaurant and wait tables now, since it's what I do for ~60 hours a week. It is the only place I meet women at and they're usually my coworkers.
>>552509552 Don't write one to her. The best way to communicate some sick shit you've been doing is when someone else finds out about it. If you are going to do one about her, make it subtle then see if you can get someone else to show it to her. Or just do it anyway, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take
>>552513819 Well, one way to rid yourself of approach fear is to have an 'out'. Some reason that will give you reason to leave the conversation. Pickup guys do it all the time:
"oh hey, I'm just on my way to meet my friends but I just had to ask your opinion on something"
Also, start wearing something interesting. It gives people a reason to start talking to you. Make more female friends and hang out with them. This proves your social worth.
You will never rid yourself of any social fear, but you can improve your responses so that it is not as bad.
Chances are if she has moved into your space it's because she wants you to talk to her anyway so you're obviously doing something right, but now you can up your game and start going after the ones you desire
>>552515201 That's rough man. I appreciate you clearing this up for me though.
I worked as a bouncer a few years back, that helped me immensely with just talking to anyone. I mean if you can talk to her isn't that already opening?
Check some stuff out here http://www.nicknotas.com/ about/ It's helped me a lot with women.
I feel like once you can get this stuff with the ex resolved it would be a huge weight off your shoulders and that would allow more room to progress with other women. Plus you're young man...hell I'm only 24 and I'm in the prime of my dating/hooking up phase of life.
>>552516290 I guess you're right. If I can talk to them I've already opened. However, none of the girls I work with are single now so there's nothing there for me. Except at the other restaurant (same chain) I manage time to time. They just recently hired a girl over there that I haven't seen in 8 years that I had a huge crush on back in the day. Pretty sure she's single. But it's not really about me trying to find a new girl. Really I don't know what I want when it comes to women. All I know that I want right now is money. And apparently that's easier to steal from me than I thought.
>>552517474 I know what you mean man. I'm still searching. I date 2-3 girls at a time. Sorta helps speed up the process. Tinder and Online dating supplement those numbers. I'll meet a few out at the bar, a few through friends, and a few through tech means like those mentioned just now. I used to want ABC & XYZ in a girl. Used to think she would make me happy. I realize now that I have to be happy with me and my life in order to add someone into the fold. We're still young, we have TONS of time.
I'm an only child myself and my parents are long gone, so, no aunt from my side of the family. She has an uncle from her mom's family, and my late wife's parents are still around, but unfortunately, I'm not that close to them, perhaps partially because they sort of, kind of blame me for her death.
About flirting, I sincerely hope so, but my experience told me otherwise.
About her sex ed at school, I believe she received the same sex ed as other kids. So I honestly don't know what went wrong.
>>552512376 About clear limits, well, yeah, I admit that, but I actually thought she would, you know, be attracted to boys.
But I'm sorry, I don't quite get what you mean by unhealthy body image. As far as I can see, she's perfectly fine with her body. The two of us lead a pretty healthy life and her body reflects that.
>>552492175 >You're not enjoying school nor accomplishing much there, get out. >The money that you were going to spend on school save it now.Use it for living expenses and any necessities. >Find a job that can lead to a career that doesn't require a college degree (ie electrician, plumber, mechanic etc.) that will require to go to a trade school. >You probably have high anxiety, if possible consult a doctor for possible treatment >Know the difference between infatuation and love, you don't love these girls >You will most likely find love, there are literally billions of them here, don't worry about it >In fact don't worry about women, until you get a career. A man provides, a woman wants to date a man, once you have a job/career you can date a woman because you are now a man >Find places where people gather, this could be a church, a firing range, a local hockey rink, etc. think about what you like to do and find a place to meet others there. >Don't worry about losing weight, because that's not going to help, eat better, and try to work out at home. You'll feel better about yourself and be less anxious, hell jog for a mile (if you can) right now. Go for a walk, do something to calm your nerves
>>552518913 I'll eventually man up and put my foot down but when that happens I know shit will hit the fan. Bitch will probably go for child support and threaten me with my kid. I guess that's a big reason I pussy out for her too. She's his mother.
>had a gf >she cheated on me, lied to me about it multiple times, and the guy she cheated with is her new bf >my dad found he had a pulmon cancer cause of smoke >i have no self-esteem, no self confidence >i pretty much hate myself >people say that i'm a nice guy >couldyounot.mp3 >i lost all motivations and goals in my life >i feel like i'm a stranger to myself >i feel like my end is near
>>552519791 you remind me of myself 5 years ago(17). You can get through this, people have gone through worse. It seems like the end of the world, and it might as well be if they're all you got. but life is all about the perplexity of finding happiness despite all the shit that is thrown at you from all angles.
>>552519450 Good for you man. In the mean time I'd invest in a fallout bunker and some antipersonnel rounds for when you take on bitchzilla.
I feel like if you can prove she's fucking your cc debt and taking money from you those are grounds to get custody. I kinda feel like if this were done and settled it would be better for the boy so he wouldn't have to see so much confusion all the time.
I wish I could be there more for you man. It's a shitty situation, though I have faith you'll come out on top!
>>552510994 >Leave her >Get custody of your son >Cancel the stolen credit cards >Get a smaller cheaper apartment (assuming you can't afford the one you are currently inhabiting, if this is the best option then stay there) >Do not have any contact with her at all >Do not have sex with her at all >Do not talk to her at all >She is manipulating you and ruining your life, you have to take charge and be a man and protect your son from this sociopath >Don't worry about the other girl not wanting to date you, you will find some one. >This could take a while, but believe me it will happen >When you do find someone be picky, don't jump onto the first train that pulls into station >If possible see if you can get a restraining order, you have to cease all contact with this person I cannot stress this enough >Your son is now your first priority, you cannot put him through this. A single parent household will be better for him than this.
>>552519791 >Your dad needs you now more than ever, he is going through one of the worst things ever, be strong >Don't worry about your ex, this happens to most people, she is a sad person and let her go. >Sounds cliche but it really does get better, pull through you'll get over this >From what you wrote I don't see why you have zero confidence, you can do this. Go mountain bike riding, shooting, drawing, something to take your mind off of things. >Things will get better and this will end, trust me
>>552521019 you just reminded me that my best friend is dating my ex, that i still love kek (he doesnt know) Lets say that these last 4 months were like karma hitting back from all the bad things i did to people
Even if I wanted to get custody I'd never be able to afford the lawyer fees. But no, child custody is a very fucked up part of the judicial system. If she tells the court I'm bipolar or that I'm very depressive they could turn in her favor. Any back history at all turns them in her favor and she knows my life.
>>552520495 I can't just get custody of him. Legal battles and shit. Also I don't really think the best thing for him is for his parents to completely despise each other. I grew up when my dad was going through that phase with my mom and it was not easy to bounce from household to household with the obvious tension between them.
>>552520619 Damn! Can't they like test for an allergic reaction? Also What's the price you're willing to pay to be more confident in the way you look? Most of the side effects seem minor in comparison to hating your appearance
>>552521280 >Before you read any of this, just remember you don't have to tell me any of this, this is literally for you to consider. Reply at your own risk Is it possible that your parents can take custody of the child? Is this a doctor's diagnosis or are you self diagnosed? If the former, are you being treated? If you are and don't really have a history of anything bad (bad meaning having an episode that resulted you in being arrested, or having a court order to send you to a mental institution) since being treated you'll be fine. However the main important thing they will consider is financial stability, you actually have a job unlike her. Despite the fact that you have a mental illness, the main thing they consider is making sure that you can actually provide for the child. It is also possible to qualify for free representation in a child custody hearing. You also can represent yourself in a hearing, since it seems that she is unemployed I don't think (although I could be wrong) that she can find the means to represent herself.
>>552522501 She has a part time job. But she's really good friends with a lawyer in town and if that's not bad enough her dad makes six figures so I'm sure things won't go so well.
I am diagnosed and I've been in a "adolescent hospital" once but it was a few years back and was on recommendation of a therapist. I'm still seeing a psychiatrist so I am being "treated" though nothing helps the depression it seems.
All in all I wouldn't want her to do this to me either. She loves my son and I know that. I don't think it would be right to try to take him away from her even if she's a manipulative, backstabbing cunt.
>>552523196 Assuming she actually does love your child and this isn't as you put it your "beta-ness" talking, see if you can settle for joint custody. There really is no love between you two and she must know that by now and you really can't keep living like this for your sake. Do you think that can work? Once again you don't have to reply to anything, this is just for you to consider.
>>552524009 We technically have joint custody but nothing is set in stone. I'm fine with getting him when I can. She does love him and fortunately she's good to him. I can't complain about how she treats my son. Just how she treats me.
>>552523757 Alright well first things first get off the booze or weed. You don't have to go cold turkey (I don't know what your situation is with the booze and you could accidentally kill yourself going cold turkey). Next thing to do is start doing new stuff. What do you think you would like? Riding mountain bikes? Doing stand up? Shooting guns? Working on cars? Hiking? Learning how to ice skate? etc. well find something you have zero experience in and try and master that or try and meet people who do this casually and join them. This will help with connecting with people and not getting high/drunk all the time.
>>552524407 Okay that isn't too bad, from what you're telling me I would recommend trying to get this set in stone (like you see him every weekend sort of thing). But yeah since the apartment is an issue try and find a new one that is smaller/cheaper (I know this can be pretty hard and annoying, but obviously the one you live in currently isn't cutting it). You also have to cut your relationship with this person, only seeing her when you have to, this does not mean however you have to find someone right away to fill the gap. In due time you will find someone, I think it's good you're taking the initiative to talk to women and don't worry if they reject you. You will find someone who likes you and isn't insane. Don't give her anything anymore because that's not going to help anything. You're a smart man and you're certainly not beta, we're all afraid of something and we're all weak at one point. But you're going to have to get some courage and leave her (as much as possible). It's not going to be easy, but you can do it. Good luck.
>>552524498 I have hobbies that I spend time on (guitar, recording music and photography mostly). I decided to try new things and picked up stargazing and drawing, but those are solo activities too. I'm not sure about hobbies I could try around here to meet people. Not a huge drinker, smoked weed every day for the past 3 months. I can kick it now though because I'm sick of it, 2 days in.
>>552524584 I make an effort for relationships I have with people and get nothing in return. Always. I can't find anyone to bond with in a way that means something to me. It's not that I don't like people. I meet a lot of great people through my uni, but despite my efforts to make friends nobody seems to return the sentiment.
>>552524584 I agree I need to find something that makes me happy, by the way. A while ago I took shrooms and it was a great experience, for a couple of days afterwards I felt like I found a drive, a passion to do things I'm interested in. Everyone loved that guy. I slowly returned to normal in a few days. So yeah, I need to find that drive, but I don't know how.
>>552492985 Find a bar with an entertainment option built in. >Karaoke joint is my go-to Sit at the bar and watch the entertainment. Comment on it to the person next to you. >Did he really just "Dan band" that? Cause I think I heard him add the word "bitch." Sometimes they'll just shrug and move on. >"Yeah, maybe." Sometimes they'll chill with you all night >"You know, I think you're right. I love Wedding Crashers, btw." Sometimes it's a chick and you get her number before the night is through. >"We should hang out. You wanna see Jersey Boys with me?" Sometimes it's a dude that's just really cool. >"We should sing some Deo, brah." Sometimes nothing happens.
Bars are a gamble. The only losing move is not to play.
>>552525481 Oh alright that's not too bad (with the regards to drinking). If possible just try and cut them out of your life for the time being. So you like stargazing? See if you can find an amateur astronomy group in your area that would be a pretty cool way to meet new people. It also seems like you're having issues with friends and we've all been there. This might seem a bit frank, but do you think there's something that other people find annoying or generally displeasing? I had a tendency to force myself into groups where I was not invited and that was not good. Reflect to see what other people could possibly not like and see if you could tone it down. In all honesty people are always going to find something to not like about a person but it's best to keep it to a minimal. Also think about the types of people you are hanging with, perhaps nothing is wrong with you however you're just incompatible with them. (Like let's say you're quiet and they are very extroverted, or vice versa). Try to find people with not only similar interests but similar behaviors. You mentioned you go to uni so that's where you can find an astronomy club or an amateur astronomy group or something and from there work on what I just said. Hopefully this helps.
I miss my ex boyfriend. I've been with a new guy for almost a year and I still miss my ex. I feel shitty. Ex doesn't talk to me anymore. I try but I just feel he's over me. He's my biggest 'what if' that haunts me.
>>552526381 The thing is, I can't find out why this keeps happening. When I'm at uni I can have a good time talking with people that I would like to be friends with (it's not a mismatch problem in personality). The problem arises when I try to hang out with anyone outside of uni, because even if I manage to set up something like going to a bar it doesn't go anywhere from there. Even if we have a good time they completely forget about me afterwards and it's almost impossible to hang out again because everyone is always busy. Always. Everyone.
I've had evenings where everyone involved genuinely enjoyed it, and when asked nobody can give a clear answer as to why they think it happens.
>>552526652 Yeah I do. He's been real sweet to me and says he understands that I still hurt sometimes. He talks to me through all my issues. It's just when I'm alone that I start to think and remember what I had. Things are very different in this relationship than my last one.
>>552526993 I hate being alone. It's horrible for me. I don't think I could wait 7 years before I got into another relationship. I'm very needy. It's horrible. I try to keep it lowkey but I mess myself up.
>>552527332 Alright we have three possible scenarios, one is that unbeknownst to you, you said or did something that was unpleasant and thus they want to avoid you. Number two is that you are just really bad at planning, so to eliminate this one, how do you plan these events? Do you call them the day of the event? If so that is a really bad idea. I usually plan things three days to a week in advance. Third option is that you're not inviting them to do anything that they find interesting. You mention bars, but is that it? If it is it, these people probably want to do other things besides sit in a bar all day, play basketball, go offroading, practice archery, go see a movie, etc. try and keep it interesting.
>>552527574 Okay, well that's good to hear. Yeah it took me around 3 years to get over one of my ex's, it takes a while and everyone thinks of the what if. But the fact of the matter is, is that it really doesn't matter what if, because it didn't happen nor will it happen. You're going to have to move forward. Don't worry about this, just try and keep your mind off of him and don't concern yourself with him. You're leading a better life now. Enjoy it.
>>552527775 well then, first thing you gotta do is learn how to like yourself. as forever alone as it sounds, take yourself out on a date every once in a while.
go shopping go see a movie go to that weird chinese spot near your house that doesn't respect child labor laws masturbate get a hooker follow >>552502636 's advice anything that if a guy did for you would make your pussy wet or your dick hard
think about it: if you can't be alone with you, how do you expect anyone else to?
I am thankful for what I have but I can't stop thinking about my ex and I'm not sure why. I either miss him or I feel guilty for having moved on. I'm not sure which but I still have this protective instinct over anything in his life. I was the one with the larger income. I was the one planning our life. Now that that's over, I wonder what's become of him and if anything bad befalls him, I blame it on myself. I don't know how to stop. I realize his life doesn't revolve around me.
>>552528289 If they disliked me they would tell me when asked (not everyone would of course, but somewhere, someone would have told me). Also, when I'm at uni I still talk to the same people, and they still treat me the same (if they disliked me I would be able to notice). It's more like I'm invisible. Such an insignificant person I'm forgotten the instant I'm out of sight. I don't have terrible self-esteem issues but that just accurately describes how the process feels.
I think I plan things ~1 week in advance usually.
The third point seems like it could be an issue, but I don't really remember what kind of things I've tried setting up with people. I remember playing guitar with another student last year, which was a lot of fun. We decided it should be a regular thing. And it never happened again.
>>552529136 Talk this out with your current man, make sure he understands that you do in fact love him/like him (I don't know what stage you are in your current relationship, but whichever one is appropriate use that one). Reaffirm trust and just let him know what you're going through. Don't worry about your ex. You got someone now that actually cares for you, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. I get where you were at considering you invested a lot into the relationship (from finances to your future) and that now that there's this void there is probably very strange in your life. You just got to remind yourself that that is not happening anymore and that this is your current situation. It takes some time but you'll get over it. Also don't worry about if anything bad happens to him because he's a grown ass man and if he fucks stuff up that's on him, not you. You got this, you'll get over it and everything is going to work itself out.
Iv just started dating this girl. Everything is going absolutely perfectly. The way she smiles when she talks and her laugh which she tries to cover, digressing, everything was great until I found out she is suicidal. things weren't great at home for her and the last time i tried to talk about it she shut me out completely and took off, it didnt make sense because she seemed so happy. I found her a couple of hours later up a popular volcano that we like to trek.Im the only one stopping her from doing anything drastic, but it breaks my heart when she says that she would end it. How can I get her to open up, or let me help or. I have no clue what to do and I am genuinely in need of help. Thanks.
>>552529136 He was a big part of your life, I suppose it's normal you still have feelings about the whole thing. I don't think you can do much more than waiting it out though, it will hurt less over time. The less time you spend thinking about it the faster you will be able to move on.
>>552530348 Thank you for your advice. I've been too scared to speak about it with anyone but my current SO because all my friends are mutual friends with my ex. And I feel like if I keep talking about it, my SO will eventually believe I don't love him or that I'm too focused on my ex, even though he's always been supportive in everything I do. I appreciate you taking the time to give me the input you did.
>>552530603 How long have you been dating? It's extremely difficult for someone with suicidal thoughts to open up, because they've been keeping it to themselves for so long. Opening up about something like this (which probably has it's roots in events that caused great pain) makes someone very fragile, and therefore requires a lot of trust.
Tell her you are there for her, you want to help, and that it hurts if she shuts you out. Be *very* careful not to make it a guilt trip. If she does not want to talk about it yet, you will have to wait.
>>552530752 I try my to think about the whole situation. When I kept myself busy I was doing really good. Now I got better hours at work and I find myself with more alone time and all I do is dwell and wonder. I appreciate the input. Now I just need a time machine.
so there's a few possible explanations and those will guide you as to what you should do:
a. she's an attention whore and nothing gets attention like suicide. i really wish i was joking about this b. she doesn't feel comfortable enough around you to let you in c. she's legitimately batshit insane
if option a, you should just leave her alone and find a new girl. if option b, don't force her to do anything. just pat her on the head and tell her that you're there for her if she ever wants to talk about it and if she doesn't want to then its fine cause you love her anyway. you can paraphrase. if option c you need to get her help. going with the reassuring head pat in option b is probably easiest way to gain compliance but if she doesn't agree then you have no choice but to run
>>552529774 >It's more like I'm invisible. Such an insignificant person I'm forgotten the instant I'm out of sight. I don't have terrible self-esteem issues but that just accurately describes how the process feels.
I know that feeling, what I did to get out of the doldrums of friendship was learn to be more funny and invest more time into people's lives, by that I mean support people in need, give advice, invite them to events, show that they are important, make sure not to cut them off, if someone else gets cut off tell them the other person was speaking and act as a mediator for the conversation. Also just a pro tip when someone says this should be a regular thing, that's good but what they really mean (usually) is that you guys hang out more often doing other things but also doing this once a week. So the guitar thing, yeah play guitar with the bro once a week but don't make that the only thing. Invite him to a baseball game with some other people, or whatever. Find other people who want to jam and see if he is comfortable with it, and now you got like 4 people hanging out. Sometimes you're going to have to make all the plans for people. Another issue is that you might actually be hanging out with a bunch of really busy people, see if you can find people with slightly less busy schedules haha. Another thing to also consider is that you have a good ability of setting stuff up. You get people to enjoy meeting you, hanging out with you but they don't show up for the second go around. What I do to avoid this is I say near the end "hey this was fun, you want to do this next Friday? (give a semi-specific date) also you think we should invite Tim and Erica (or whatever, some mutual friends)" so now not only are you planning on seeing them next Friday so are Tim and Erica. Now they will feel guilty for telling three people they can't make it. It seems cheap, but it works. Then eventually they realize that you're pretty cool and will hang out with you for you.
>>552531634 Yeah, 2 months is relatively short. I know I wouldn't be able to pour out my heart after 2 months. Just make sure to tell her pretty much what you said here, so she will know you will be there to listen if she needs you.
>>552531701 Oh fuck this is a lot of text, here's the TL;DR version.
>When in similar guitar bro situation, don't just hang out to do one specific thing, do other stuff in between like for example play basketball or see a movie >You're good at getting people to like you >You're also good at getting people to hang out with you once >This is good, some people can't even initiate this >What you do next is say "Hey this was fun you want to do this next Friday, invite Tim and Erica over" >Now they are super guilty for bailing on three people instead of one >Then they realize that you're super cool and will hang out with you for you >You also got two other people who realize the same thing >You now have a group of friends
>>552531151 Hey no problem, if I was him I would understand because I went through a similar process. It's a normal thing, I mean if I were him I would feel worried if you were keeping it away from me instead of telling me directly. However handle it lightly and carefully and you should be fine. You will get over this.
>>552531701 Yeah, seems like it could work. It's true I don't really have a good way of following up. I will also try to plan more diverse activities if I want to meet up with people. Thank you for thinking with me.
>>552532157 step 1: realize that there are magical people in this world that can do ridiculous amounts of drugs and still be very successful, and that you are not one of those people step 2: if serious about going back to uni, dont. take a bunch of bullshit courses at local community college and transfer them over. time to take that cheese appreciation and basic algebra class you skipped out on
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