>be me, 24 >go to nightclubs frequently >not because

>>549120495
>Cont?
no, fuck off faggot

cont im interested

I wan't to hear the story of the monkey dancer

File: ShrekWallpaper800.jpg (139KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

139KB, 800x600px

go on u frry fg dont go

File: 37-intredasting.jpg (40KB, 604x499px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 604x499px

>>549120495
bump

>>549120495
go on

Hurry the fuck up OP

File: dk2.jpg (26KB, 624x351px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 624x351px

>>549120495
>ask employee to take the gorilla costume down for me
>it takes 3 bumbling assholes to get it down
>fucking plebs
>check out, comes to 345.00 but i'm in too much of an aped stupor to give a shit
>bring it back home, plop it on bed and marvel in it's glory
>what the fuck now?
>then it hits me
>grand vision of a beautiful ape with a red necktie, "DK"
>never played a nintendo game in my life because i was a filthy pleb
>don't know the ape in my vision's name
>but still, I know what i must do
>remember tonight is club night
>take 4 hours preparing proper ape-titude
>cover self in ball sweat, toe jam and dirt
>muster up the finest ape-musk i can
>takes me another half an hour to get used to my smell of uninhibited ape-litude
>i'm ready
>as i walk out the door, a hear some sort of jingle
>"...he's finally...kick some tail..."
>dafuck.zip
>continue on my ape
>at the club
>would get in immediately due to being a regular but im in this fucking ape costume and smell like weeping men post-orgy
>have to get in and shake this bitch up, need a strategy
cont.

OP pls

go go go

OP, cont

>>549120651
stfu pls fgt

This has po-fuckinh-tential

I need more

maximum samefag up in this bitch
summer is here

this is what i live for more

File: dk3.gif (345KB, 271x227px) Image search: [Google]

345KB, 271x227px

>>549122390
>don't wanna fucking stand in line
>cut in right in front of this white chick with flowers tatooed on her forehead
>dumb bitch didn't notice or smelled my fierce ape-musk and cowered in fear
>reach the front in five mins
>urgoddamnright.brba
>time for bouncer to let me in, didn't think of a strategy
>ape-majesty clouding my mind
>he looks me dead in the kong-eyes
>don't say a word, might give away that i'm actually human
>bouncer looks me up and down, nods slowly but approvingly and lets me in
>"score one for dong," i think (the fuck)
>see tables full of male dongers looking to dong inside white bitches
>they know nothing of what is to come
>i don't have an exact plan but i'll do what i always do
>one my way to dance floor pass by massive bro
>looks like prime /fit/ material
>passed really close, he definitely got a wiff of my alpha kong scent
>nods at me, bites lip
>itsworking.kong
>take first step onto dance floor
>alpha ape musk seems to hit all dancers immediately, they stop
>see varying facial expressions as they take in the scent of glory
>the dj stops playing the beats
>dafuckbro.zoop
>he looks at me, nice and hard
>taking in my majesty, my confidence rises with the music he puts back on
>leaderofthebunch.ban
>go ape-shit with my moves, crowd is loving it
Cont

>>549124031
Please dont stop

>>549124031
moar

>>549124031
Bump, you majestic ape.

>>549124031
i hate you

>>549124031
Oh god please let this end well

>>549124031
my stupid mom tells me i have to go to bed soon, plz finish before she takes my phone

>>549124031
>go ape-shit with my moves
im crying

>>549125191
wow you are such a faggot

tl;dr: anon spent $350 on blackface

Continue faggot. I hope this goes somewhere. But know it won't.

>>549125548
wow you are so dumb

File: dk4.png (183KB, 422x426px) Image search: [Google]

183KB, 422x426px

>>549124031
>totally aping up the crowd
>my musk and glory is affecting them in beautiful ways
>their dance moves are less restrained, becoming more primal and apeish
>look over to massive /fit/ bro, see him punching weaker dudes and dudettes alike to assert dominance
>think he may be a problem
>chose to ignore it for now
>dj stops playing music again after fifteen mins
>nonapeniggaabouttogetslapped.css
>he asks me to come up to him
>ape-musk has spread into the entire club now
>all eyes on my sweet kong ass as i walk up to dj table
>dj: "w-w-what's your name?"
>bitch ass stuttered, i know he wants to fuck this kong
>take mic, say nice and slow so they take it in
>"D-K." simple and sweet, the vision of the ape tells me to speak it
>dj: "a-and what are you h-here to d-d-do?"
>me: "You know me well. I'm here to expand."
>don't even know where the fuck these words are coming from
>they must know i am here to expand all dong
>go fucking crazy when i hand mic back to dj
>all patrons are pounding chests, some to the point of bloodied bodies
>noturningback.kong
>send the message telepathically across the club that all dongs shall be expanded
>shoot glance to /fit/ bro, think "especially yours"
>see him shed several tears, he knows what will come soon
>club is dissolving into an orgy of blood and ape-litutde
>ape musk is multiplying amonst the patrons
>see a few bananas thrown into the air
>myworkisalmostdone.dk
>make my way slowly to /fit/ bro
>make sure to strut dat ape ass, only one will have it tonight

>>549125548
wow u r raeterdet

>>549126216
You really should have pre-typed this before you posted. But continue

>>549126216
Your falling off here op

File: 1334024295178.jpg (472KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

472KB, 800x600px

Good initiation lilly, he's got good form..., and now here comes the dismount...

>>549126237
>>549125932
>>549125548
wow such pleb very leddit

>>549126705
wow ure a kool guy

>>549126705
Nice work mashing some phrases you have seen but don't understand together.

>>549126705
Should have been very pleb such leddit

File: dk5.png (122KB, 479x325px) Image search: [Google]

122KB, 479x325px

>>549126216
>Find /fit/ bro
>see what he has caused
>at least 17 other dancers, bloodied to all shit
>see some objects over them
>bananas
>sonofkong.zip
>realize /fit/ bro is indeed worthy of my apeforts
>he notices me
>obviously premature ejaculates, doesn't even try to hide it
>look down, at least two gallons of his ape-induced come is sopping over his banana-mushed victims
>do not say a word to him, he knows what i want
>beckon him towards me
>see another person following
>some sort of female /fit/ bro, her stature and body worthy of true kong glory
>nod to him, she can come too
>in his happiness, releases another gallon of ape-jaculate
>ignore as to keep his ape-pride intact
>we step over the banana-bruised, ape-jaculated victims
>make our way to the great kong room, constructed about five minutes ago to welcome me when the time was right
>see a great portrait of the great kong himself, hanging about an enormous yellow banana bed
>gonnaneedabiggerbed.dk
>no biggie
>/fit/ bro and bro-ette look at me with quivering ape-ticipation
>nod to them in assurance
>itstime.ddy
Cont, the end is near

>>549128140
>.dk
lol

>>549128140
MOAR

>>549120495
>not because i wanna get biddies i just fucking love dancing

Nigga, you can dance anywhere so why the fuck are you paying to do so? I'll admit, I lol'd when I read that

Fucking Twinks

>>549128140
bemp

>>549128140
>inb4 walk the dinosaur

>>549129396
pls op i need to cum, finnish your story

>>549129806
>implying I'm OP

>>549128140
OP... My body is ready.

>>549128140
ITS GONNA END LIKE THE INTRO TO DONKEY KONG 64 FAGGOT HAHAHAHA

>>549130012
YOU ARE OP

>>549130329
>ID's
>YOU ARE OP

.....

>>549130012
(greentext) implying i'm implying
(greentaxt) 2017 implying
(gurntixt) faggoyt

>>549130640
Lol ID's change you fkn idiot

File: dk6.png (16KB, 197x197px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 197x197px

>>549128140
>/fit/ bro and bro-ette are sweating bananas
>ape-ticipation must come to an end
>rip off all their clothes with a loud kong roar
>can't let them do, i must not look weak
>all aspects of DK, the great Expander, have flooded my body and soul now
>bro brandishes his banana dong
>bro-ette's banana dong is unveiled, sprouting from her left ear
>too in the kong-zone to care, all humanity is rejected here
>brandish my kong-dong, at least five bananas thick and seven neckties long
>fuck bro-ette in other ear, let her ear-fuck me back
>sweet banana flavoring oozing from all orifices of us both
>bestdongievertasted.dk
>see /fit/ bro's banana sweat gathering on the floor behind him
>it hurts for him to wait, but i must save him for last
>soonmysweetape.zippity
>penetrate bro-ette's every orifice at spastic monkey speed
>come multiple times, each time i come at least 10 bananas come from my kong-dong and into her
>her beautiful ape-ened body is powerful, but the bananas are overpowering her
>too many bananas
>expand all of her dongs
>she explodes, blood and bananas cover half the room
>but there's enough room for my bro
>he can't take it anymore
>take turns coming bananas into each other with our kong-dongs
>fireinspurts.ban
>this is what my life has lead up to, kong be praised
>ultimatebananapleasure.dong
>the room has filled with bananas
>can't hold my great ape-gasm
>bro knows it's the end, but embraces it fully
>i expand all his dongs
>his body has exploded into banana mush and ape-jaculate, but i know his spirit lives on in ultimate pleasure
>i am one with the kong, i say to myself as i come down from my ape-gasm
>now it is time for my reward
>enter eternal sleep, treated with dream of DK fucking my every orifice forever
>walnuts, peanuts, i got the smells; grapes melons oranges and coconut shells
>fin
hope you all enjoyed it

>>549130840
0/10
well 1/10 for making me check yours to make sure you were wrong.

>>549131217
hax

>>549130012
>AbwXgosP
>>549131217
>g40LKI60

>>549130840
How do you remember to breathe?

>>549131920
ur mother does it 4 me wen im fuking her

>>549132068
I've already asked her; she's not a carpet-muncher.

>tits or gtfo

>>549131217
I have no words, OP. All I can say is.... Thank you.

>>549131217
I lulzd.
Many bananas were shed this night. May the great DK live forever at the side of the infinite Kong

>>549131217
Pineapple smells... wow guy. That much buildup. 3/10

>>549132275
mbe u shud get a lyfe and let me fuk ur mum in peece u nerd virgin

>>549131217
i bet you thought this would be funny

File: Ml9sHqt.jpg (71KB, 400x267px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 400x267px

>>549130310
>>549131217

>>549133230
I'm not going to bother insulting you.
Your dying twitches is humiliation enough.

>>549133884
I bet you are euphoric in this moment

>>549130840
>>549132068
>>549133230
>>549135208
Does your mother know you're on 4chan?

>>549135208
Actually, I'm in a story thread atm. I don't actually care for arguments and such.

It's your choice to dwell on it if you wish though.

>>549135687
You're mother*, check your grammar next time pleb.
>>549135723
Next argument pls neckbeard