ITT: Overused Promo Cliches

>"...last week on RAW... I was attacked/ambushed/betrayed..."
>roll the footage

Every Triple H promo from 2000-2010 and beyond

>I HAVE BEATEN THE BEST
>I AM THAT DAMN GOOD
>*paces around ring with lukewarm reaction*
>I AM THE GAME
>THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS
>THE BEST WWE CHAMPION OF ALL TIME
>*motorhead plays*

With out a shadow of a doubt.

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See

PLAY MUH MUSIC

>AS RAW ROLLS ON

>>780125
Lmaooo

"And quite frankly"

>Each and every one of you
>The WWE universe
>*local sports team* are losers, just like everyone here tonight

>I'm here for one reason and one reason only

>>780083
Fucking this. He just slooowwwwlllly says a bunch of cliches that mean almost nothing, puts himself over as awesome and brings anyone he doesn't like down a level, and takes at least 10 minutes to do it.

>This Sunday we aren't going to have a wrestling match, it's gonna be a fight!
>I'm not just gonna beat you, I'm gonna kick your ass!

VINTAGE

>>780144

>This Sunday, at [event name], ..."

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>DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE BOULDER IS BAKING

>>780146
tru

>>780083
THERE'S ONLY ONE DIAMOND IN THIS BUSINESS AND YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM

My mind is set on one thing, and one thing only; Winning the WWE championship

>>780070
QUITE FRANKLY

IN THIS BUSINESS

Well let me tell you something

>live, right here, tonight, in this very ring, in front of all you fans, on Monday Night Raw
etc

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>...and tonight, right here on SmackDown!, you'll go one on one with da UNDERTAKER!

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>I'LL TAKE YOU ON ANYWHERE, ANY TIME
>(cheers)
>BUT NOT TONIGHT
>(boo)

>>780212
IN A TAG TEAM MATCH

>>780146
only on the WWE network

AND THAT'S UNFAIR, AND IT SEEMS UNFAIR BECAUSE YOU EARNED IT

> opening 20-minute promo

Sure are a lot of WWE examples in here

And I want you to understand one thing

>>780070
The 20 minute opening promo where one guys talks aboot nothingness and the next guy comes out 10 minutes later and then HHH comes out

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>>780070

>You see the thing is, I always do what's best for business
>You want my respect? well you're gonna have to EARN IT JACK!

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It's great to be here in *your city*

come sundy at .......

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYwXUxgszF0

>Walks to the ring pissed off
>Enters ring over top rope
>Looks dead into camera while standing like a cool guy holding the ropes
*bigsexy.jpeg
>There's beenalotta talk in from the boys in the back. The way I see it, you're either *insert affiliates*, or you're not good enough. Nowallyu little WCW boys in the back etc etc etc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYwXUxgszF0

"quite frankly"
"in this very ring"
"Oh myyyy!"
"vintage ____"
"guaran-damn-tee"
"I know it, you know it, these people know it, the fans at home know it"
Name dropping of long-retired wrestlers like Stone Cold or HBK

>>780233
Oh boy, this.

A heel who's weak on the mic ending his part of every convo with a confrontational 'HUH?!

>Rollins: "What's the big idea Kane, HUH?!

>Sheamus: "What's wrong, little fella, HUH?!

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>Don't go anywhere, cause your match? Is right now

>>780212
One on one with da UNDATAKA! Holla playa!

>>780132
I subconsciously roll my eyes at that one FUCK

>...against a Superstar who I'm sure will be your biggest challenge yet.

>WEEEEELLLLLLLL

>But you're gonna find out, you haven't faced anyone like me before
>*exchange punches and Irish whips for ten minutes*

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>THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS THAT QUITE FRANKLY IN THIS BUSINESS

>As far as I'm concerned, you, and everyone else in this arena, are [insert cheap heat catchphrase]

>>780070
Fucking Steph and "I mean..."

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Fine speech sir

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>let me tell you something

>>780781
>2 wrestlers start in-ring promo back and forth
>start to fight
>3rd person, bad guy storms the ring
>2 on 1 attack
>"who's gonna help him?!"
>4th person makes the save
>4th person was in feud with 3rd person
>*Commercial break*
>Come back to impromptu tag team match

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When they have to tell me the difference between a wwe superstar (their opponent) and a wrestler (themselves)

>"Each and every one of you"

>6 man tag team jobber match where they want us to forget teammates were feuding last month

every fucking week

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>wrestler in ring finishes rant
>3 seconds of awkward silence
>camera turns to entrance
>wrestler begins next sentence
>rival's music cuts him off

Not a promo, but when I hear JBL SAY
>We've got us a flying _____ Maggle!
I feel like throwing my tv out the window. Goat was definitely the worst offender.

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>divas get mic time
>channel gets changed

This happens in every single promo.

>>781331
>so what's this week's soccer update, john?
>...john? something wrong bud?

>*shakes head*
>im crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>*stomps around ring and flails arms*

>>781331

I dunno, when he first called Paige a flying ghost, that got a chuckle out of me.

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>wrestler cuts the best promo of his career
>pours his heart and soul into it
>"WELL THAT'S A MIGHTY FINE SPEECH JACK"

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>>781441

>wrestler cuts the best promo of his career
>pours his heart and soul into it
>IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU THINK

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>>781441

>wrestler not named john cena has lengthy title reign
>"FOR 300 DAYS YOU'VE HELD THIS CHAMPIONSHIP AND FOR 300 DAYS THIS CHAMPIONSHIP HAS BEEN IRRELEVANT"

>>780792
When was the last time The Big Show was a major threat? I wanna say 2006 or 2008

>>781633
He beat Sheamus clean for the WHC back in 2012 when Sheamus was in SuperCena-Lite mode

>>781633
when he was calling IWC members in the audience fatboys while wrestling.

>*get an unexpected mild cheer / applause break in the middle of promo*
>fumble around for several seconds nodding and saying 'yeah' and 'that's right' while you try to get your momentum back

Reciting
words
very

very

slowly

Even though you can see the

obvious

words

coming

>>781633
I think around the Mayweather WM match

I AM A PRIZEFIGHTER
>YOURE FAT
I FUCKED YOUR MOM

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I mean.....

>>780070
>>780076
>>780087
>>780144
>>780233
>>780781
>>780890
>>780993
>>781327
>>781441
>>781644
>>781660

Fucking these

>>780908
this shit right here tbqh major cringe

>two days old
>69 total posts

yeah, this board really filled a desperate need eh, gonna be a lively place.

>>781608
At least in the case of Punk he was upset by the dirty tactics.

the "interim" anything

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>>780618
>you see we all know whos pullin the strings here
>hogan starts smirking, bischoff shitting himself because he doesn't want another shoot
>ain't nobody pulling my strings
1998+ Kevin "literally shouting out THIS PLACE IS SHIT" Nash is so based

>>780318
and it can be yours for the low price of 9.99

>>780070
>every early october
>You want me one on one? Haha... HELL IN A CELLLLLL!!!!
I hate this now that Hell in a Cell only happens in one PPV

>the wwe world heavyweight championship

not sure if it counts but
>Heel does a dastardly deed
>Michael cole is outraged, JBL defends him
>Cena does the same dastardly thing
>the same as section 2 but reversed

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>>782488
> The World's Heavyweight Championship

>>782488
>the wwe intercontinental mexamerican heavyweight tag team championship of the world

>>782490
and King is bored out of his mind but STILL does the best attempt at commentary of the three

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>>782488
>when i beat you this sunday for the wwe world heavyweight championship at ___, only on the WWE network

>>781608
But it was irrelevant.

CM Kuck never (ever) main-evented a PPV over John Cena. His reign relegated the title to the midcard.

>>782515
Don't lie.

>>782488
>HE WANTS TO BE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THIS WORLD

>WWE draft (RIP)
>I hope it's somebody big Michael
>WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW
>NOT THAT BIG

>>782496
what's the exact point of having three comentators, anyway?

>>782515
fan reaction. Doesn't matter if Punk was a mid card champion the fans loved the fuck out of him.

>>782548
Is that why ratings steadily declined over the course of his title reign?

>>782552
wwe's ratings have been steadily declining since 2003 during the evolution days. what's your point?

>>782543
banta

>>782496
King is fucking terrible

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>>782552
he's just part of a constant decline

>>781331
>hating best commentator of the 3
i bet you're one of those fags who like Jerry "The Heart attack" Lawler and Michael "Vintage faggot" Cole

>>781441
>>781518
>>781608
>John Cena makes promo
>boos
>The Rock makes the same promo
>cheers

i'm sorry Rocky, your shtick ain't foolin me, you faggot

>>782515
ayyy faggot

>ice cream bars

>>782488
Basically having world twice in your title's name

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>Shades of (Event)
>VINTAGE

>face gets fucked over by his boss so a heel can get the win
>call it the *name of that city* screwjob

>he's putting those vintage feet to good use!
>did you see how his leg connected?
>This Sunday..
>Jerry Lawler talking period
>And when I become champion..
>vintage [wrestler]

*pin attempt*

"....for the win!!"

This happens 3 times a match now on Raw and NXT.

>Vietnam promo
>"it ain't me" starts playing

>>782624
Still the best commentator. You can't seriously tell me JBL or Cole does a good job. Cole is absolute garbage and JBL just drops references to old wrestling that doesn't make any sense.

>>789221
And what does King do, exactly?

>>789224
As little as possible, and that is to his credit.

Most of the time he's just tired and responds to what nonsense Cole and JBL is currently yelling. Occasionally he wakes up and channels his past self by getting excited (or pretending to be) and makes a joke or a (semi-)clever remark.

>>789227
lol King is a senile old fool who has no fucking clue what he's doing

>>789229
Considering he's suffered a stroke (in the middle of a Raw mind you) it's great that he's still going as he is. He can still talk better than most of the announcers.

>>789232
It was a heart attack

And being the least odious out of JBL & Cole is like being the least sloppy turd. All 3 of them have no business out there anymore.

>>782645
>implying those weren't the goat
M8

>>789237
That I can agree with.

>>789242
> tfw Based Tom Phillips will be The Voice of The WWE

>>780521
You think Hogan is mirin The Rocks gains in this pic?

>>780070
Reading this thread just makes me hate the WWE and professional wrestling in general.

>>789245
tom phillips is the man

>>782543
So there's still one to talk shit while one has a heart attack and the last one helping him

>turn on Raw
>Behold the King by Motorhead starts playing

>Rock goes on a 5-10 minute build up promo about his history with Austin, what both have done, what both still have to do, the respect, the ability, the prestige of the match
>Austin replies "fact of the matter is you have the WWF Title and I want it........and thats the bottom line"

ITS NOT THE FUCKING BOTTOM LINE

"The/in the/for the WWE Universe" is the worst one ever created and I hate Vince for it.

>>789794
YOU THINK THE WWE UnIVERSE WATS TO SEE THAT!?!

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>"So you come out here.."
>"...and run your mouth..."

>>789232
>>789221
yeah right you delusional faggot

>B8

>>789237
>>789232
>>789229
>>789227
>>789224
>>789221
>>789242
I, for one, really enjoy Cole's work, JBL offers a nice opposing force, King is utter shit. And I also loved Cole's heel turn. Plus the team of Josh, Booker, and Cole on Smackdown made the show worth watching.

>brass rings

>>789946
Fuck, Cole and JBL were a good team together.. JBL was snarky, instead of the kissass he is, and Cole actually called a few spots.
The closest that we ever got of Cole doing a decent job was during Beast in the East, and Byron was in Raw mode and not NXT.

tfw no more Tazz and Cole dynamic duo like in ruthless agression era Smackdown

>>789961
I enjoy Cole and JBL, I just really miss the banter between Cole and Booker, and how seconds of awkward silence would pass before Josh would try to sneak back into actually doing commentary.

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I miss the old TNA cliches

>WHAT'S [stupid fucking name for former WWE guy] DOING IN THE IMPACT ZONE?!

>OH MY GOD, [WWE guy] IS IN THE IMPACT ZONE AND HE'S HERE FOR [TNA title]

>TO THE BACK!

>THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS [WWE name]

>"I TOLD YA MAGGLE, XAVIER WAS TRAINED BY CHIEF JAY TROMBONE"

>>789714
Oi, m8!
Stone Cold Steve Austin is the greatest promo caller of all time

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>cowardly heel cutting promo backstage
>starts talking a bunch of shit about face
>camera rotates slightly
>face is right behind them

Similarly

>wrestler cutting promo about upcoming match
>begins talking about opponent
>opponent appears from the right side of the screen
>face to face standoff

I started this divas revolution

>>780070
>WAT

>>789946
> enjoying Cole's work

Have you literally never listened to any other commentator before?

Cole is a bumbling idiot with a grating voice and the inability to pronounce most words correctly. He's a moron.

>11PM
>"IF YOU ARE JUST TUNING IN..."

BELIEVE THAT! Come on it doesn't even begin to compare with "You can't see me."

>Over the past week, everywhere I went everyones been asking me the same question. Why, ___, why?

Replace "he" with "Roman Reigns".

It's been fucking unbelievable over the past few weeks. In a single sentence, the commentators say his name three or four times in quick succession. At one point during Survivor Series Michael Cole accidentally said "he", and then immediately corrected himself. This might even be the worst aspect of all the Reigns-shilling.

>The Face after getting his ass kicked
>Laat week I fought blank, and I got my ass beat! but I'm not gonna let that stop me from winning the championship at ppv event

>>793949
>Cole is a moron who you can tell is being fed his lines through his earpiece
>JBL is always blacked out drunk but just concious enough to be coherent, but still drunk enough to say something that makes him sound stupid.
>King really wants to be at home with his girlfriend.

it's time to just retired all 3 and get new dudes in

>>789210

>wrestler kicks out of a pin attempt after a move that has never finished anyone
>i can't believe he kicked out of that!

goddamn it

>>790084
"Big gulp of EVIL" was pretty funny even if JBL refused o drop it.

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>heel in ring
>calls out face
>I BET THEY DON'T HAVE THE GUTS TO WALK DOWN THAT RAMP AND FACE ME IN THE RING
>face music hits
>face doesn't come out
>tfw it was a ruse

>singles match
>one guy hits signature move or finisher
>Cole: "ITS OVER, ITS OVER. ONE, TWO..."
>"HOW CLOSE WAS THAT?!"

>>790105
Rellik is killer spelled backwards

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>"best for business"

>>780070
Starting your segment with "ya know..."
>90% of them, especially in MNW days

>>780132
Yup. Good call.

>>780135
Another great one.

>heel about to walk out to confront face
>he backs out last second

>"You want to see me fight (opponent) tonight?
>crowd cheers
>"TOO BAD, YOU GOTTA WAIT UNTIL SUNDAY"
>crowd boos

it's good to show contempt for your audience, I hear it does wonders for ratings

>>782450
Give it time for people to find it. I just saw it five minutes ago and have already posted 4 times and will be back. This was needed.Might even get me to watch more...

While we're on the subject of commentary, does it bug anyone else the way they say "the arm of John Cena" instead of just saying "John Cena's arm?"

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>bringing up things that happened in WCW like it's at all relevant today

>>795663
>things that happened in the past have no influence on what's happening now

>>789303
Tom "The Sex God" Phillips

>>795687
>being this autistic

>Face beats heel on RAW clean
>Cole says, "If he can repeat this at the PPV he's going to be the next champion John!"
>No kidding
>He loses at the PPV or the match ends in a DQ.

I was rewatching some Atitude Era episodes some days ago. I really miss the days of The Rock calling great promos, Austin countering it with his own promos, DX when it wasn't shit fuck, even the cheesy Ministry of Darkness.