What would a Jimmy Ocean wrestling school be like?

Day 1: How to break into a car without setting off the alarm to fund your smack habit

>>2847353
Day 2: How get within 500 feet of a school without setting off your monitor.

>>2847358
Day 3: How to convince your parole officer to ignore your meth habit

>>2847367
Day 4: How to make your own Plan B pills

>>2847377
Day 5: How to claim child benefits off a child that you aren't certain is yours and doesn't live with you

Day 6: Shagging the promoter's 15 year old daughter and getting away with it

>>2847427
Day 7: How to control the voices inside your head telling you to start fires.

Day 8: How to tell the government that you are severely disabled and have been out of work for years

Day 9: Get 0

Day 10: Shit in Malky Taggart's bag and replace Sweet Saraya's birth control pills with tic tacs.

Day 11: Call up Vince McMahon and call him a Yanky nonce cunt and then send him shit in the mail

Day 12: How to make quick money by selling Sonny Smasher fake e pills

Day 14: Shake down some East end punks that owe poker money to a porn kingpin.

>>2847479
Rest on Day 13 apparently.

Day 15: After Day 13's rest of meth and coke. Day Learn how to finger local chavs into coming to the shows

Day 16: Hook up with your partner Stunning Steve Quintain and hold up a liquor store so you can make child support.

Day 17: End up not making child support so you just tell the chav slut that the kid ain't yours and take her on Jeremy Kyle

Drink this case of beer then we'll get started.

Day 18: Go take the class to Ricky Knight's house to meet Del Rio and inflate his fragile ego.

Day 19: Del Rio no showed, so you throw a brick through his car window and stab him

>>2847340
Alroight lad, let me see you take a bump [spoiler]off this crackpipe here[/spoiler]

Day 20: Talk Mr. Anderson from committing suicide for the 50th time.

Day 21: Replace Ken Anderson's depression pills with laxatives

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Day 22: There's a sale at Tesco's grocery store, stock up on pork faggots for you and the whole class.

Day 23: spend all day throwing the pork faggots at Ken Anderson until you hear him mutter "I'm really gonna do it this time" under his breath

Day 24: Go to the morgue to confirm Mr. Anderson's identity to the coroner. Tell the class that this is what happens when you can't control your habit.

>Day 25: Cry in your bed wondering how you got to the place you are currently at, and how so incredibly low your ceiling is.

>>2847635
Day 26: Teach the class that green text if for fags. Proceed to eat some delicious Mr. Brain's pork faggots.

Day 27: The students who are too pussy to develop a serious meth habit get caged whilst the rest smoke high quality meth knicked from Cambridge

Day 28: Go to Asda and finger a chubby middle-aged bird in the frozen aisle

Day 29: Get home and find you forgot the frozen peas for supper, missus kicks off about it and you end up breaking her nose

Day 30: Those who haven't OD'd from speedball practice learn the Norwich Crab

Day 30: Take your first bump. Off the officers telling you to get on the ground after the barn you're smoking meth in gets raided

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This is truly the best thread.

Day 40: After spending 10 days in jail and making some more meth dealer connections, start fucking local chavs behind Greggs and spawn more children for more child tax credit and benefits from the government

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Day 41: Jimmy takes the class on a raid to get material for a dirty bomb for Villman.

Day 42: Outrun the MI5 agents after you and the class for the dirty bomb.

Day 43: Help Sonny Smasher come out to his family.

>>2848871
Day 44: Help Sonny Smasher move in with you after his father beats the shit out of him and kicks him out. Then laugh at him and let him know his first months rent is due tomorrow, so he better get to turning tricks outside pubs.

day 45: kick sonny smasher out after finding out he ate all your faggots and drank all your beer

Day 46: Keep buying Beef Faggots from Tesco and posting them through Sonny Smasher's door and spray painting "faggot" on his windows

>>2847556
Underrated

Day 47: Teach the class how to sneak up on an opponent by murdering hookers during the night.

Day 48: Learn how to be a technical based wrestler by watching Chris Benoit tapes, except every time he's on screen, Jimmy re-enacts the double murder-suicide with Sweet Saraya as Nancy and Sonny Smasher as Daniel. The students are the dogs in the enclosed pool area

This thread ,i love you /asp/

Day 49: After the class has been passing around Paige, we all go down to the doctor because boils have been growing on all the students dicks.

Day 50: Those who didn't die from turbo-AIDS learn a clothesline

Day 51: The first match, it's terrible since nobody actually knows how to wrestle. It's still better than the most recent WWE PPV

Day 51:Tell the class he has a foot fetish and sends them to take pictures of hot milfs feet in stores, whoever takes the worst pictures get beat up by sonny smasher

>>2849816
Day 52::Tell the class he has a foot fetish and sends them to take pictures of hot milfs feet in stores, whoever takes the worst pictures get beat up by sonny smasher

Day 52: Take the five pounds you made wrestling and try to turn it into five at the horse track. Show the class where to get cigarette butts when your horse loses.

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THIS FUCKING THREAD

mfw this would actually be a good series or reality show

Day 53: After two days of MILF feet and horse racing, go back to the meth diet, telling the class that HBK did drugs at his peak so it'll work

Day 54: Treat the class to some British fish and chips. Pick up dead fishing floating in the Thames and serve with some paint chips.

Day 55: Tell the class that a mexican legendary wrestler will be training them today, (its just a filipino in a wrestling mask who got paid like 20 pounds)

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went to sonny smashers twitter he actually trains people lol, hes in the green/black jacket

>>2849849
Day 57:jimmy ocean is nowhere to be seen, hes actually in the hospital for injecting horse tranquilizers to his cock , sonny smasher takes his place as head trainer

>>2847340
Who the fuck is this old coot?

>>2849895
Legendary wrestler from paige's dad company

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>>2849895
Some jobber who stole the "Old School" name from it's rightful owners (pic related)

This thread if fucking gold

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>>2849895
>being this new

Day 58: Ocean returns, he's got a 58 year old woman on his arm and shes dressed in nothing but a skimpy leopard print catsuit. The class is told that they need to learn how to "please the rats" and she will be the example.

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>>2849914
There is only one true Old School stable and this is it motherfucker! Pay some respect to Gentlemen Jimmy and Stunning Steve Quintain

Day 59: Take the class to a casting call to audition as extras in the latest Guy Ritchie crime film so that everyone can eat that night. Later take the students money and use it to buy hookers and Popov vodka.

Day 60: Find out one of the females is a budding pornstar so the class follows her to a porn set where after she gets railed they replace the male pornstars just before the bukkake scene. Classic rib.

Day 61: Those who haven't tossed off learn the fabled arm bar

Day 62: Accidentally teach the students how to sell by forcing the 3 students that are left (only because they now have a serious meth addiction) to pretend to be dying to steal some drugs from A&E

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Day 63: Go down to the local homeless shelter and take a bath before going on Mustard TV to promote the latest WAW show.

>>2849949
Did you make this or did they actually steal the movie Old School's logo?

Day 64: Fuck up your promo for mustard TV and have to take the class to the ketchup podcast.

Day 65: Promo class, everybody learns to say "It wasn't me officer, I never saw that girl in my life"

Day 66: Takes class to nephews wedding on one of those english buses, shows up half drunk and while hes driving, the bus cant go anymore because it barely has gas and he lies to them and tells them hes going to get cigarettes ditches them and doesnt come back

Day 67: Teach the class how to work a crowd by volunteering them as a security for a Motley Crue tribute band.

>>2850246
Day 68:Teach the class to draw dimes by acting homeless outside Marks and Spencer

>>2850017
Holy fuck Ricardo...

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Day 69: Teach the class how to go down on Sweet Saraya

>>2850538
Day 70: Steal all the mouthwash Tesco has, to get the taste of fag ash and disappointment from your mouth after going down on Saraya

>>2850057
It's legit

Day 71: Take the class to Belfast to do some contract hits for the NRA. Use the money you make killing British soldiers to help promote the next show and to buy some more pork faggots.

>>2850605
Day 72: go to the track and win big. Jimmy Makes you plan a weekend getaway to Paris for the whole class

Day 73: Jimmy ends up going to Paris alone but for shits and giggles dresses up in Muslim garb and hires a van

Day 74: While posing as Muhammad Abdul, a high-flyer wrestler from Qatar, gets into a no holds barred match with Muhammad Hassan for the right to suicide bomb the town square

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>>2850621
Day 74: Jimmy gets blackout drunk in Paris and some of his students sign him up for a five year contract in the French Foreign Legion.

Day 75: Jimmy goes to Calais and starts powerboming the immigrants, single-handedly saving the west from ISIS and poverty. Then returns to the class to smoke more meth

>>2850654
>>2850653
Day 75: Jimmy wins and bombs Town square. He framed the whole class and the only way to escape MI6 is to go with the French Foreign Legion

>>2850665
>>2850670
Day 76: Having accidentally caused a time vortex, Jimmy has to finger The Oracle, a fat indian bitch in Hull to resort the timeline to normal. Luckily he has been training on Sweet Saraya

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Day 77: After dealing with the Oracle, Jimmy takes the class to meet his partner Stunning Steve Quintain and go over the basics of tag team wrestling.

>>2850699
Day 78: They go over the psychology of the "hot tag" unfortunately for the class the "hot tag" is when you and your buddy are fucking two chicks one really hot and the other a munter, just before you cum in the hot one you tag the other person in and fuck the uggo until you recover.

>>2850699
That's not an actual promotional image is it? Something supposed to make him look like a fighter? He looks like he hosts shows about gardening

>>2850708
Day 79: Due to the altered timeline, a parallel dimension rift opens and a second Jimmy Ocean appears in our reality. This Jimmy was a former WWE superstar and a 10-time WWE tag team champ who currently is a trainer at the WWE PC.

>>2850722
Day 80: Jimmy 1 gets Jimmy 2 addicted to meth but spiked his meth with mustard gas, killing the more successful Jimmy.

>>2850729
Day 81: Jimmy takes the class to Buckingham Palace to watch the changing of the guards but gets drunk and scares one of the horses causing it to run amok and ruin the ceremony.

>>2850749
Day 82: Having exhausted all funds on a day trip to Buckingham Palace he raises the prices of classes to £500,000 a lesson, this doesn't go down with the students who pull a great rib where they steal Jimmy's meth and then burn his house down. Luckily only his daughter was inside and now he doesn't have to pay child support

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>>2850766
Day 83: Now that he doesn't have to pay child support, Jimmy splurges and buys each of his student a hit of Persian black tar heroin. Unfortunately, Mr. Anderson steals it all. :(

>>2850788
Day 84: As a rib for stealing all the premium heroin, they all film themselves having sex with Mr. Anderson's wife and get her to do the microphone thing but with Jimmy's dick

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>>2850802
Day 85: After seeing the tape Jimmy sent him, Mr. Anderson attempts suicide, but as with everything else, he fails.

>>2850832
Day 86: In the hospital after his attempted suicide Ken receives some chocolates, unfortunately for him the filling have been removed and replaced by a concoction of the student's piss, shit and semen or as Saraya calls it 'Breakfast'.

>>2850859
Day 87: Jimmy explains the difference between a heel and a face by kicking his students in the face with the heel of his boots.

Day 88: Take students down to local scrapyard to collect metal to build a cage from, trade metal later with Dodgy Dan for 10 crates of White Lightning and go on a 3 day bender

>>2850893
Day 89: Jimmy's drunk as fuck when he orders the classes top face to rim his ass telling him he'll give him a mega push. In the morning when he's informed of what he said he'd do he kicks the kid out of the class

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>>2850903
Day 90: Jimmy takes the class to see PJ Knight. PJ is possessed by some ancient Egyptian spirit. The spirit takes over two of Jimmy's students and makes them commit suicide.

>>2850909
Day 91: Jimmy is finally being sent down for all the weird crimes he has committed throughout all of this wrestling school experience

>>2851052
Day 92: With Jimmy incarcerated, the school is now under the tutelage of Alberto El Patron and he goes on to ramble for 18 hours straight about the pussies in WWE and how he turned a ho into a wife

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Holy shit, I checked this out early this morning and their were like 20 days, now its near 100. For once /asp/, you did good. You did real good.

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Day 93: Realize the chubby bird you fingered in Asada back on day 28 was Destiny

>>2851073
Day 94: The students decide to rib Alberto by replacing the tapes of him winning the WHC that he watches daily to the video of Maddox filming Paige getting fucked by Xavier and the words "Used up slag" just flash on the screen. Alberto now decides the next class will take place in his """restaurant"""

>>2851105
Day 95: Meanwhile in prison Jimmy gets a job in the kitchens and batters the local hard case to death with a rolling pin and becomes the new top dog of B Wing but gets an extra 10 years added to his sentence. Jimmy orders Queen Maya to take out Alberto by planting a pipe bomb under his car. Alberto finds out though and holds Queen Maya hostage at his restaurant. Using all that they have learned from Jimmy, his students firebomb the restaurant leaving Queen Maya and Alberto both on life support.

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>>2847340

Day 95: Steve Quintain and some dodgy geezers break Jimmy out of jail and replace him with some alzheimers ridden pensioner who looks sort of like him. The cozzing plods never even notice its a different guy.

>>2851144
Make that day 96 i guess

>>2851131
Day 97: Having been completely paralysed, Alberto is forced to watch Xavier fuck Paige over and over and can't stop it. Jimmy now out of prison resumes his teaching.

>>2851131
Day 96: With Alberto on life support, Saraya decides to leave him and get in a relationship with one of the students, gets engaged within a week, gets a tattoo of his face on her back, they break up, and the cycle continues with another student until she runs through the entire school

>>2851159
Day 98: Jimmy wants to get back in the game and breaks Xavier's legs so he can pimp out Paige. He uses his wrestling school to launder his heroin profits and pays Scott Hall to finish off Alberto for good.

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Goddamit i may be drunk but this would make the best movie ever.

>>2851176
Day 99: Alberto and Scott Hall have a 7.75* match in the hospital room and Alberto jobs, dying in the process. Paige is distraught but her ravenous vagina's champion had been defeated so she must find another, Paige's vagina decides it wants some eastern European dick so the hunt to find and tame Rusev begins.

>>2851193
Day 100: Jimmy Ocean goes to address the class, but just vomits and passes out.

>>2851281
What an ending

Day 100: The international terrorist hacker Villman finds out about Paiges plans and contacts Lana. Unknown to even Rusev, Lana is a KGB sleeper agent and promptly intercepts Paige at a dive bar, spiking her drink with a trace amount of plutonium. Paige gets deathly sick within a few days but chalks it up to her syphilis and gonorrhea.

>>2851293
Dammit make it 101

Day 102: After over 100 days of wrestle school, nobody can actually wrestle and they are approximately £23,000,000 down. Jimmy needs to raise funds and the governmental benefits aren't enough. He calls Vince McMahon and is told he'll get a personal meeting tomorrow

THE LEGEND WILL NEVER DIE

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Day 103: Jimmy Ocean meets with Vinny Mac and signs a developmental deal with NXT and will receive an NXT title match against current champ, Freakin Flax

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Godammit this lore is getting deep

>>2851310
Day 102: Jimmy is told he's losing so shoots and wins the title. He sells the NXT title but he forgot he needed the money for the school and buys fuck tons of Guatemalan Crystal Meth

>>2851317
Shit Day 104

>>2851317
Day 104: Jimmy wakes up from his guatemalian meth binge and realizes he has skipped an entire day

>>2851327
Shit make it Day 105: he lost two days

Day 106: Jimmy walks back into the NXT Performance Center and bitchslaps HBK asking him where that bitch midcarder Triple Bitch is. He tells HHH that he wants a WWE Title match but he aint going on B show Smackdown

Day 107: At Summerslam. Jimmy Ocean runs past security and starts beating Jinder Mahal to death with a brick, and takes the WWE Championship.

Day 108: While setting up for tonights Monday Night Raw, the set up crew find a passed out Jimmy Ocean in the middle of the ring. Triple H tells Corbin to 'cash in' on him, and take the title, so that Jimmy doesn't think he's being robbed and starts stabbing people with HIV+ needles.

Day 108: Jimmy sells the WWE Championship but ends up buying more Guatemalan Crystal Meth. Ends up smoking some with Jinder and they end up fucking some poo in the loo bitches

Day 109: Jimmy attacks Corbin in a wall-mart parking lot, for his rematch. But before he can win, the students who joined the French Foreign Legion return, and attack Jimmy.

>>2851341
You got worked as fuck nigga, this is the best thread on the whole fucking chan right now.

>>2851352
Day 110: With this plot point resurfacing, the events from Day 75 come back as these students come from Earth-Omega, as our Jimmy is in Earth-Alpha. Ocean-Omega appears and challenges Ocean-Alpha to a meth smoke off

>>2851363
Day 111: Ocean-Alpha realises why he was buying all that Guatemalan Crystal Meth, it was training. He realises that he needs to smoke greater amounts than he ever has before to beat his counterpart

Day 112: After winning the Great Guatemalan Meth Smoke Off, real Jimmy proceeds to cut a glory hole into the Divas locker bathroom, shit in Nia Jaxs' bag and leave a note that says Love from Bayley.

>>2851376
Day 112: Using the meth connections he made in prison, Jimmy buys a warehouse full of meth, and there is a shortage for junkies across the country. He pays for this meth by selling both of the kidneys of all his students.

Day 113: Jimmy is heralded as the greatest WWE Champion of all time leading to a shoot interview by Steve Austin running him down, Jimmy responds by getting his students and army of junkies to firebomb the broken skull ranch

Realizing there is still a temporal rift, Real Jimmy murders alternate Jimmy and plugs it with his corpse. It doesnt go all the way through so Jimmy starts charging local poofters to fuck a dead mans corpse stuck in a wall.

>>2851443
Forgot, this is Day 114

Day 115: Jimmy wakes up realising that he was in fact the one who was plugged into the rift and has been getting ass raped, He decides to blame Sonny Smasher for all this time shit

Day 116: Jimmy travels back to the United States to challenge Corbin, who has now actually embraced kayfabe and became a meth addled biker. Jimmy, Steve and Villman get into a shoot out with Corbins' biker gang over a deal gone wrong.

>>2851458
Day 116: Jimmy needs money . so he goes on a meth binge ; sucking cock for money and meth. Hes found hours later on the ground with 4 pints of cum in his lung.

>>2851487
Day 117: Jimmy wakes up from another meth binge realizing he hallucinated that whole last day.

>>2851497
Day 118: realising his hallucinations was a premeneetion he makes it a reality by sucking cock for meth and money.

Day 119: After becoming a famous bisexual pornstar (and losing the WWE championship to
a radioactive mutant strength Paige) Jimmy goes back to the UK to further train his army of meth addled students.

Day 120: Learn an Arm Drag

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Day 121: Toru Yano learns of the great comedic exploits of Jimmy and convinces NJPW to pay for him to come work Wrestle Kingdom.

Day 122: Jimmy arrives in Japan, proceeds to spend all of his money on soaphouse whores and pachinko.

>>2851505
Day 119: Jimmy meets a fat son of a bitch mexican named carter . Jimmy sells Carters flabby ass out to African Refugees for money to build his own performance center. Carter his hospitalized for a prolasped rectum but has never been happier.

>>2851527
Day 123

>>2851523
Day 123: Masahiro Chono and his yakuza track down Jimmy after he no shows Wrestle Kingdom and demand he pay back his booking and travel expenses.

>>2851533
make that day 124

>>2851535
Day 125: Learn how to draw heat from a deflated crowd

Day 126: Jimmy works the japs by selling used panties from Saraya and Paige to suicidal wagecucks under the guise that they are "artisinal virgin panties". He spends half the yen paying off the yakuza and the other on meth.

>>2851545
Day 127: after selling panties,meth and blowjobs jimmy is the richest man in japan. Becomes the bullet club leader and fires no dimes omega banishing him from japan.

>>2851586
THE BEST FUCKING TIMELINE

Day 128: The Bullet Club, now known as the Ocean's Eleven, turn their sizes to Okada as at Wrestle Kingdom, Jimmy defeated Okada to become the IWGP World Champion. Upon winning the title, Ocean's Eleven goes on a 72-hour meth smoke sesh

>>2851620
Day 129: during his meth binge jimmy is scrubbing his mansion floor with a toilet brush. His phone rings * GOLDBURG THEME text from stephanie mcmahon... DTF?

Day 130: Stephanie says she actually wants a son and low-test HHH can't give it to her. Jimmy rubs a pickled onion on his dick to make sure he impregnates her with a little boy

>>2851663
Day 130 and a half: stephs naked and blowing clouds. She wants a son. Jimmy sticks it in her pooper.

>>2851666
Day 131: After decades of drug abuse, Jimmy can't get it up for Steph, so he decides to just pee in that butt.

>>2851680
Day 132: Even though he only pissed in her ass with a floppy dick, she said it was the only time since Macho Man that she'd cum

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Day 133: Having left his students in the incompetent hands of Mitchell Starr, Jimmy takes his private plane back to England to get his school back on track.

>>2847340
Someone screencap this entire thread

>>2847340
cringe

>>2851792
Day 134: Jimmy finally perfected the Traditional Blue Thunderbomb

Day 135: Steph catches Jimmy's super-aids, and infects Triple H with it.

>>2851830
This, or collate it into an info graph type thing or something, would be shame to waste only entertaining thing asp has done.

Day 136: Having won multiple championships on multiple continents, Jimmy is contacted by CMLL to do some shows in Mexico. He takes Villman with him as back up in case the cartels get frisky and makes his luchador debut as Yimmy Océano.

>>2852387
Day 137: Yimmy's first match in CMLL is against El Patron, who is now alive and pissed that Jimmy fucked Paige, giving her and Alberto the clap

Day 138: Wakes up in a bin. Shoots on Alberto with Paige. Charges people to fuck El Patron in the ass. Buys meth, takes half and gives the other half to Corbin so they join his students

>>2850674
>underrated post

Day 139: Jimmy buys a London cab, and proceeds to secretly film the escapades he has with slag UK women in Fake Taxi

Day 140: Jimmy and his students start running their own promotion called Ocean Side Wrestling. Every audience member gets a free gram of meth as long as they agree to spend the night with Sweet Saraya at some point in the near future

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Day 141: Ocean Side Wrestling goes head to head against the WAW on Mustard TV. Rating for both shows are abyssal.

http://www.mustardtv.co.uk/

3 out of every 4 tvs Norwich are tuned in to see the action.

>>2852990
Day 142: Jimmy goes around every house in Norwich and asks them if they are tuning into Mustard TV for Ocean Side Wrestling, if they answer no he returns late at night and throws a brick through their window

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Day 143: Take Ruffneck to the local hospital because he's been bashing his head against the wall. The NHS rejects him because this is the fifth time it's happened.

Day 144: Sweet Saraya orders all students to rim her ass, Them knocking themselves out from the stench is the biggest bump any of them have taken so far

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Day 145: Jimmy and the class go to Scotland to learn from Big Malky Taggart. After going over how to wrestle while obese, Malky sits the whole class down for a nice haggis and eel pie dinner.

Day 146: Malky falls ill from the horribly cooked eel and is forced to sit out for numerous weeks. Classic rib.

Day 147: Another classic rib, after Paige is caught fucking another random lad the class throw her morning after pills down the toilet and instead tell her that if she gets pregnant to shove bleach up her cunt.

Day 160: Paige has been missing since the "incident". Class has been too busy to give a toss

>>2853365
Days 148-159: The class has been on hiatus on Jimmy enters detox for the seventh time.

>>2853384
Day 161: Jimmy has entered a drug indused coma.

Day 162: Anderson has been brought in, being the drug specialist he is, to try and release Jimmy from his coma. Instead he jabs a heroin filled syringe into Ocean's arm. Yet another classic rib.

Day 163: Classic rib time, the class replaces Ricky Knights MDMA with diet pills. He's now officially classed as cruiserweight solely because he takes over 600 MDMA pills every day.

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>>2853459
Day 164: Jimmy in the class shit in a sheep's stomach and tell Malky Taggart it's haggis. Malky eats it and enjoys it because Scottish cooking is really that bad.

Day 165: Jimmy has an existential crisis and travels to Jerusalem to follow his religious roots

>>2853566
Day 166: Jimmy finds out he is part kike and goes on an epic kosher wine bender until he winds up in the middle of Syria dressed in camo and holding an AK47.

Day 167: Jimmy is captured by Syrian government goons who plan to ransom him or frame him for barrell bombing some kids. It turns out President Assad is a huge pro wrestling mark and recognizes Jimmy, freeing him to come party at the palace. Jimmy and Assad go on a Captagon (powerful amphetamine Syrian soldiers use) binge.

Day 168: Remembering that he's already destroyed Syria's western invasion back in Day 75, he decides President Assad must die. So he locks on a head lock and hots it for two hours whilst rolling around on the floor.

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Day 169: Head back to Europe from Syria. Have visa trouble for you and the class and get stuck in Hungary. While in Hungary, you volunteer the class to get topped by Rocco Siffredi.

Day 170: Jimmy stocks up on Hungarian beer and hits the town looking for Hungarian skets

Day 171: Jimmy gets a ticket for an 8 hour overbooked bus ride to the Czech Republic and proceeds to drink himself to sleep once he arrives

Day 172: While in the small village of Kladruby, he proceeds to piss on one of the oldest and most visited Abbey's in the Czech Republic. He is banned for life from Bohemia and is deported to Germany.

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>>2854722
Abbey he pissed on

GENTLEMAN JIMMY, FIGHTAN ROUND THE WORLD

This is way better than any Great Balls of Fire thread. Based Jimmy forever!

SMOKE FOREVER!!! SMOKE FOREVER!!! SMOKE FOREVER!!!

>>2855167
YOU COUGHED OUT!!! YOU COUGHED OUT!!!

>>2855191
THIS IS CRIMINAL!!! THIS IS CRIMINAL!!! THIS IS CRIMINAL!!!

Day 173: Take the class to a special ropes course taught by the SAS so none of them will fall to their death like Owen Hart.

>>2855603
neck.
shave it.

>>2855603
sex.
have it.

>>2855603
seething.
ding-dong diddly.

>>2855603
faggot.
cry harder.

>>2855603
cuckold.
your wife's son.

Day 174: half of the class is crippled due to falling off of ropes while high on meth

>>2856603
>>2856643
>>2856670
>>2856706
samefag

boring.
absolutely.

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>>2857069
no shit???

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>>2857069
lol,faggot

>>2857155
>>2857196
>>2857233
samefag

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>>2857069
thanks for the (You)'s faggot

>>2857281
samefag

please never let this fever dream of a thread end

Day 175: Jimmy visits his broken and shattered students in the hospital. He steals all of their morphine drips and replaces it with insulin. Now they are all in hypoglycemic comas, classic rib.

Day 176: Classic Rib, Jimmy cums in Sonny Smasher's mum and then glasses her and sent him pics

Day 177: Jimmy gets in a car accident and wakes up in a hospital, only to piss on the doctor

Day 178: Jimmy's incredibly potent seed has caused pregnant Stephanie to give birth to triplet boys with 6 pack abs.

Day 179: Triple H and Stephanie sue Jimmy for child support, and to let the kids meet their father. But then of the triplets says

>YOU SEE DADA
>THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS
>YOU'RE MY FAVORITE SUPER HERO

Day 180: One of the students is paralyzed when Jimmy goes over the pile driver. To avoid getting sued, Jimmy has the class get a van and dump the student in a river where he sinks to the bottom and dies. Stone cold motherfucker.

>>2859203
Day 183: Jimmy rises from the dead. Having now proven himself the one true son of God starts his own religion.

Sonny Smasher is his only disciple

Day 184:Jimmy learns that transubstantiation doesn't work to we'll when you replace the bread and wine with pork faggots and methods. Sonny Smasher OD's. Jimmy loses a fight with a small terrier that looked at him funny

Day 185: Terrier now runs the school. Has a successful day training students flip bumps

Day 186: In an attempt to get the school back Jimmy attempts to infiltrate it by disguising himself as a Chinese student Wang Tu Long. His ridiculous accent, rice picker hat and fake buck teeth inadvertently make him a hit with Ricky Knight who makes him the world champion

Day 189: A video of Wang Tu Long reaches WWE creative. Impressed, Triple H offers him a 205 live contract.

A drunken Jimmy shoots on Neville and steals the belt. Pawns it for pork faggots.

The Terrier teaches the students to suplex

Day 190: A video of Wang Tu Long tripping and falling on top of Kenny Omega goes viral. Meltzer rates it 10 stars

Day 191: Having spent too long in his Wang personal and having long forgotten it's original purpose Jimmy develops multiple personality disorder and begins tagging with Wang Tu Long

Day 192: Wang Tu Long found dead. His autopsy reveals he was actually a meth addicted prostitute named Zak Zodiac. Cause of death was choking to death pork faggots. Mr Anderson is brought in for questioning

>236 replies
>44 posters

AUTISM

>>2860011
That's less than six posts per user autismo

Day 193: Mr Anderson found dead in his cell. Pork Faggots stuffed down his throat. Police rule it a suicide

>>2860026
Shut the fuck up you lonely mongoloid.

Day 194: Small Indian man claiming to be Jimmy takes over the school. He doesn't seem to know what wrestling is but he makes a nice korma so nobody minds

Day 195: Jimmy surfaces in Bangladesh claiming his name is Suraj and that he's a chef. When asked to make a curry he gives the customers hepatitis

>>2860105
Make me senpai

Day 196: Jimmy flies to Florida and slaps Page in an airport while screaming about sombreros.

>>2860247
Day 197: Multiethnic Jimmy Oceans' appear in Miami, proceed to run a train on Paige while Alberto is locked up for domestic battery

197: Tries to find a necromancer so he can curse Mr Anderson to eternal life

>>2860349
199: The necromancer brings back Mr Anderson but fucks up time in the process.

Day 200: Piss on the local mosque door and blame it on the footie hooligans that hang around McGrath tavern

Day 201: Learn the vaunted worked punch's.
Then do shoot ones on Mr Anderson

Day 202: Students are beaten with a length of hose. No reason is given, Jimmy just screams incoherently with each swing before breaking down and sobbing in a corner

Day 203: Jimmy promises to introduce students to the Rock. By this he means stealing Saraya's crack and forcing them to smoke it at knife point

Day 204: Celabrate 200 days of wrestling school! When Sonny Smasher points out it's the 204th day Jimmy bottles him

>>2847340
Cringe

Day 205: Jimmy was booked for a WCPW show, but ends up on a bender and no shows. After the show when they are leaving that night Jimmy and Villman rob them blind in the parking lot, Jimmy stabs Blampy with a broken bottle while screaming at him to stop being a fookin mark.

Day 206: A swan tries to steal Jimmy's pork faggot and hwe tries to fight it. Unfortunately, after the swan traps him in a leg lock for 15 minutes the local constabulary spot them an promptly arrest Jimmy for treason

day 207: Works a prison no dq match with Nailz.
It gets 649374635 stars and Jimmy is allowed to leave prison early because of how great it was

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>>2849992

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>>2860683
Day 208: As soon as he leaves prison, Jimmy heads over to the nearest pub for some piss warm ale and a juicy pork faggot.

Day 209: Jimmy stands in line for his welfare stamps when a Muslim attempts to bomb the office. Jimmy misconstrues this as a impromptu attempt at his title belt and proceeds to clothesline the terrorist and pin him. However, the ref doesn't count to three because the ref is actually a Bobby who arrests Jimmy for intolerance and spends the night in the slammer until his students sell enough meth to pay his bail.

>>2860955
Classic Jimmy.

>>2860955
Day 234: Class finally bails out Jimmy's limey ass. They proceed to deny him any pork faggots for a week. Classic rib.

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Day 235: First day of faggot withdrawl Jimmy glasses Bash after mistaking him for a "bloody wog"

Day 235: Tired of getting burnt on Jimmys fake e pills, Sonny orders some Bromo DragonFly on the darkwebz, gets fucked up and decided to rib Jimmy by spiking his lager with some BDF. 6 hours later Jimmy is trippin bollocks over face and is stuck inside a flashback of an incident in 1984 involving Ricky Knight and Sweet Saraya.

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Day 236: Jimmy takes the class to learn about maintaining kayfabe with the Mortician.

Day 238: Jimmy realizes that he can't recall recent events, feels like he has been missing alot of days and sometimes lived through days twice. He goes back and finds the necromancer who fucked up the timeline and threatens to beat him to death with box of frozen pork faggots if he can't fix it.

>>2861286
Day 238 (evening): the necromancer tells Jimmy to sod off, it's his own bloody fault that Sweet Saraya could never tie the knot with him. Jimmy, who has now gone into belligerent denial, calls up Anderson who is currently right in the middle of his 5th mid life crisis to help sort it out

>>2861286
Day x!#: The Necromancer makes things worse. Jimmy no longer experiences time in a linear fashion. He knows all and sees all but is powerless to act on this knowledge. A powerful sense of ennui consumes Jimmy. He throws bricks st Mr Anderson to cheer himself up

>>2861256
Day 240: nigga taker comes to class with a gun because mortician was holding out on him for weed money. Jimmy is too strung out to intervene so nigga just takes mortician's wallet and leaves.

Day 241: students try teaching themselves how to do piledrivers. One of them botches and breaks his partner's neck, killing him. Jimmy hides the body in the trunk of the dead guy's car and bribes a Syrian immigrant boy to drive and bury the body in the countryside.

Day 242: Jimmy is brought in for questioning, Anderson is used as an alibi

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This thread is everything that pro wrestling was meant to be, I love it.

>>2847340
Day 243

Heroin loaded syringe death match

Two wrestlers will fence until a death occurs. The one that doesn't die of an overdose wins.

Day 244: Jimmy's body is now primarily made up of meth, pork faggots, and the tears of Anderson. Doctors tell him he won't make it past Day 365...

>>2861429
Jimmy and Anderson both volunteer to work the match. The end result is the two clowns stabbing themselves

>>2861474
Day 366: Jimmy shits on the doctors lawn. The class celebrates surviving one year in Jimmy Ocean's wrestling school. Pork faggoty for everyone.

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Day 367: To get together some money for a class party, Jimmy invites the Million Dollar Man over to Norwich to observe the class. They knock him out and pawn the million dollar belt for 36 pounds and go to taco bell.

Day 368: Vince comes looking to get his million dollar belt back. Gets mugged outside a Norwich pawn shop and vows to bury the WAW.

>>2861875
Day 371: Vincent Kennedy McMahon has been reported missing Classic rib.

Day 372: Jimmy Ocean is announced as the WWE 2K19 cover "athlete"

>>2862109
Will someone please, please, please photoshop Jimmy onto a cover.

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>>2862228
I'VE NEVER WANTED SOMETHING SO BAD SOMEONE PLS DO THIS

Day #373: The writer of this is revealed as David Bixenspan, who also authored the fake Vince McMahon movie script.

>>2862228
The person that does this will be a God among men.

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>>2862965
Day 374: Jimmy reveals the cover for the game, immediately shoots up...

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>>2863179
God bless you sir! Have a faggot

Day 375: Jimmy sucks cock for coke

>>2863560
How much do you think he got paid to be on the cover of 2K18?

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>>2863179
You won the thread

>>2863582
A box of pork faggots and Andersons life

I love all you lads who contributed to this epic thread. Keep the legend and lore of Jimmy Ocean alive in your hearts always. Ive been saving everything so when this reaches bump limit I will curate and edit it for a pastebin or something.

>>2863758
Can someone send Jimmy Ocean or anyone from the WAW a link to this on their official twitter accounts. I'd love to get a response on all posts of them here.

>>2847340
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkzY_VwNIek

JIMMY OCEAN THEME SONG

>>2864029
More like this is his real official theme:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WermmAYpoqU

>>2847340

I just wanna say that this shit was painfully unfunny and forced

>295 posts
>55 unique IP's

>>2864045
Didn't mean to work you

Day 376: Seeing what Brexit is already doing to the economy, Jimmy Ocean and the class infiltrate 10 Downing Street and assassinate Prime Minister Theresa May

>>2864037
Jimmy deserves so much better than that.

>>2847340
How long until the faggy mod b@ jimmy ocean posting like he did based david bixenspan threads?

>>2864083
You have bad reading comprehension bro. I don't want the fag mods to get rid of jimmy ocean posting

>>2864061
Day 377:
Having taken control of the UK, Jimmy purchases the WWE.

>>2851680
>pee in that butt

Holy hell, I'm stealing this

>>2864113
Day 378: WWE ratings at an all time high
Just like their new owner

Day 379: Kurt Angle and Jimmy go on a bender. Angle invites him over to Dixie Carters' house. They have an insane orgy of booze, syrian methamphetamines, painkillers and pork faggots. Jimmy accidentally signs over control of WWE to Dixie Carter.

>>2847340
Fucking who?

>>2864655
The man that touched you there.

Day 380: After a drinking something he found fermenting behind Dixie's toilet he wakes up to find himself fighting for a militia in Kazakhstan. When asked what they where fighting for they responded "meth and pork faggots"

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JUST

>>2865258
Reading comprehension senpai. It's not saying that's the only highlight, it's saying his whole career is a highlight

Day 381: Having overthrown the Kazakh government Jimmy realises he wanted to take over Kent. A local goat tries to steal his meth and after a five hour armbar Jimmy taps.

Day 382: After being forced out of Kazakhstan by it's new goat king Jimmy tries injecting heroin into a pork faggot. He wakes up strapped into a Russian space capsule, the earth a dwindling pin prick of light in the window

Day 383: After traveling for several days in no discernible direction with only a few heroin laced pork faggots and precious few drops of vodka left, Jimmy is intercepted by aliens. They trade a ride back to Earth for his narcotic noshes. During the trip back home Jimmy and the aliens trade secrets about pro wrestling, abduction and buggery.

Day 384: Jimmy returns to Earth only to find his beloved U.K. has been taken over by Russia, and demands a match against Putin.

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>>2865302

Day 385: Having learned much about wrestling and abduction from his alien friends Jimmy abduct Putin and locks him in a homemade hell in a cell

Day 386: Kidnaps Presdint Trump. We get Russia vs America. Meltzer rates 5000000/5 stars.

Day 387: It's revealed Putin let Trump win. Jimmy is outraged until they buy his silence with method and some shiny pieces of tin foil

Day 388: After eating some mushrooms he found growing near the outflow pipe Jimmy passes out. On awakening he discovers he has the ability to launch beams of heat from his eyes. Unfortunately said heat is only one degree hotter than the ambient temperature and his attempt to rob a local pub with this power only annoys people

Day 389: After remembering he's supposed to be teaching at a wrestling school Jimmy staggers his way backonly to find Alberto Del Rio has covered for him. Unfortunately, all he's taught them is how to "keep a bitch in line and not leave a bruise".

The women in the class are all suspiciously silent.

Day 390: Jimmy realizes that since returning to earth, there have been several instances of waking up bleeding from his rectum. Knowing full well no human being would dare enter his sacred space of super AIDS, Jimmy is left to deduce that his alien friends have been ribbing him. Villman helps him extract his tracking device which they insert into a pork faggot and feed to Malky McTaggart,

>>2847340
Career Suicide

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Day 391: Jimmy steals King Kendo's mask and sticks it down his trousers. Kendo is found dead hours later having contracted ultra syphilis. Classic rib

Day 392: After mixing everything alcoholic he can get his hands on in a big jug and slugging the whole thing. Jimmy tries to build a time machine with a shopping trolley, a V8 engine, some Nitrous Oxide and several clocks. Somehow the resulting explosion lands him on the roof of Buckingham Palace

https://twitter.com/gentlemanjimmyo
follow jimmy ocean on twitter, he only has 166 followers it will probably make his day if he gets more