THE ABSOLUTE STAR MAN

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B A S E D RAINMAKER

Hopefully he includes a suicide note in it

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I am erect

He's completely jumped the shark now. Snowflakes are even more of a joke after this

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BASED

Where were you when the first ever 7 star match was officially rated?

>>2758644
Huh, that's not like Josh to tease like that

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>>2758654
He knows more than you about the sport of professional wrestling. Respected by Flair, Bret, Austin, JR, and in the Cauliflower Alley Club. You are just a little boy who is upset that you are not getting your way.

E-Drone here.

Haven't watched Omega/Okada II. Should I waste 60 minutes watching it or nah?

Honestly I kinda expect him to pull back the 6 star from WK11.

Just call it a 5 and call this a 5. Much simpler.

>>2758663
Watch all of Dominion. Maybe not in one sitting, 'cause it's a long fucking show but it's so good.

The top four matches are all just fucking incredible.

>>2758664
Probably easier to just say 5+

>>2758663
Omega/Okada 1 was better

>>2758663
Best 60-minute match I've ever seen.

>>2758663
your small e drone brain won't be able to process the genius of njpw, there weren't any dq finishes

>>2758662
>sport
kek

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While we are waiting, the Dominion episode of "Being The Elite" is up
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRd2Sj0mfIk

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>>2758678

>>2758663
>time limit draw
>in a fake fight
>good

I can't even imagine the mentality of someone who likes this shit

>>2758663
>>2758665
>>2758671
>>2758676
Reminder: This is an example of /asp/ post curation where Carter thinks of what he wants people to talk about and asks a question only to reply to it himself. He does this to get his memes over, in hopes that lurkers actually believe there are people on /asp/ other than him and 5 other guys

>>2758691
>Not knowing 60 minute time limit draws were a staple of the Buddy Rogers/Lou Thesz golden era of wrestling.

Educate yourself, kid.

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>>2758676
>>2758663

Yeah you'll never appreciate epic story telling like this. Plus you seem like the type that enjoys vagina so stay away as far as possible.

>>2758699
Who Thesz?

>>2758696
How do I know you're not Carter as well hmm?

>>2758696
Based Carter (whoever the fuck that is) living rent free in that autistic brain of yours.

>>2758685
based the elite

so how did they get into their car?

>>2758699
>golden era

the golden era was gorgeous george doing comedy matches straight out of the russo playbook

OBSERVER'S OUT
6 & 1/4 STARS

******1/4 CONFIRMED

WWE WILL NEVER EVER HAVE A FIVE STAR MATCH AGAIN, LET ALONE ANYTHING ABOVE THAT

WWE MARKS BTFO ETERNALLY

>>2758716
That's a good question. Hopefully he had a spare somewhere. The backstage footage from Dominion was awesome.

SIX
T
AND A QUARTER
R
S

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>>2758644
Friendly Reminder that the same E Drones shitting on Big dick Meltzer were jizzing when he gave Cena vs. Punk 5*

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>>2758741
This is getting too out of hand with those stars.

>>2758741
Well, I am going to bed with a smile on my face tonight. Glad I made that switch to NJPW a little over a year ago. We are watching history now.

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Okada-Omega 2 was not as good as the first match, which was a legit 5 star match. This was 4.5, with Cody trying to throw in the towel (he cannot act for shit) and the bullshit draw being enough to not make this a 5 star match.

>>2758762
>This was 4.5,
You are literally 1.75 stars out.

>>2758769
stop it, Dave, I'm sticking with the regular 5 star system

>>2758741
kek so glad I stopped watching wrestling all together. The cringe levels are off the charts, how could someone even go about explaining this to someone outside of the small and ever shrinking wrestling bubble? It's a joke.

>>2758749
I don't think he understands that by doing this his stars:

A) become meaningless
Or
B) 6 1/4 becomes the new maximum and each star he has ever given is now worth less than it was at the time he gave it.

Either way, he's breaking his own "credibility" with this nonsense. "Match was good. I suggest people watch it." is all you need.

>>2758688
Yeah remember when Rocky became heavyweight champion too lmao, fuck off you runt.

>>2758792
It's not his fault that those two matches broke his system. He will need to base the new five star matches off of Okada/Omega II.

>>2758792
The Okada/Omega matches are clearly the acceptation to the overall rule, if you can't see why Meltzer is doing this 6 star rating shit your no better that the drones.

>>2758754

that's the most /reddit/ post I've seen in awhile

>>2758915
You are going to be seeing stars in your dreams tonight. 6 and 1/4th stars.

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>>2758702
damn. i never thought i'd agree with cornettey. that was just a tumbling routine. is all NJPW this bad?

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>>2758924
>is all NJPW this bad?

>>2758844
Funny thing is you can use the rest of this show to disprove that point.

Like, Takahashi/Naito only got 4.5. Kushida/Takahashi got 4.75. If he was getting out of hand, it would've been so easy for both of those to get 5.

>>2758949
Also the Dean match where he puts the pumpkin on Cesaro's head and buries him for life.

>>2758949
Kek

>>2758792
>"Match was good. I suggest people watch it." is all you need.
Exactly 5 Stars is enough if it needs to be rated. The match was pretty semen slurpy for the first two-thirds then the last part when it picks up to that 5 Star quality.
>>2758924
Not really, those are the shitty memeweights. Heavyweights are the only good thing there.

>>2758741
Looks like Small Member Dave is doing the tried and true formula, pandering to the smarks.

>>2758741
Flair steamboat didn't draw flies either.

>>2758924
>implying a WWE crowd wouldn't be shrieking "THIS IS AWE-SOME!" and clapping like seals before that sequence was half over

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AL WAS RIGHT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRpSoSLOR_A

>>2759079
Haha, not this again!
So... Wrestlemania 3...

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>>2759079

So has Dave officially become a parody of himself now? His rating system use to have validity, but now it's just a become a massive autistic circle jerk.

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>>2759108
If it wasn't it is now.

>>2758707
Nice one Carter but it doesn't matter how deep you go with this. We all know it's you.

>>2759079
Found one of Meltzer's sources.

>>2759108
It was a joke already. He is the only reason why finishers don't mean shit this day.
>le kick out of 20 finishers
>le use ur own finisher on you
>le better have a japanese wrestlor or you only gonna get 4&1/2 stars

>>2759108

Meltzer is just trying to see how far his influence can go and what he can do with it.

The biggest driving force behind NJPW's push in North America is Dave Meltzer.

>>2758702

You know, except for that goofy backwards somersault dodge, that all looks like something that "agile" wrestlers might do to block, counter, or dodge attacks within the scope of a silly fake fight where powerbomb lifts are an acceptable thing.

The anime posing bullshit at the end was pure cancer though.

>>2758762

The first match was factually, objectively, not five stars. A five star match CANNOT have a botch in it. That Dragon Suplex that dropped both men on their heads from the top rope should take a full star off for more than one reason.

>>2758792

THANK YOU

I haven't seen the second match, maybe it was legit five stars. Then just call it 5 stars, which is the highest compliment you can give a goddamn match. 5 Stars = Absolutely Perfect, everything was fucking great and nothing could have been done better.

It's like a perfect game in baseball. Impossible to do better. If you start making up silly bullshit 6 star ratings, it ruins whatever credibility the star system of rating staged fights ever had.

>breaking your scale by going over the maximum

why do people do this? I know the snowflakes were meaningless already but still its stupid as shit. If it's perfect to you, and the maximum score is 5, just give it a 5.

Sorry, this triggers my tism

>https://www.twitter.com/davemeltzerWON/status/875183394933456896

Reminder.

why are people so fixated on match quality

characters and storyline are what matter, as proven by the attitude era

They did 15k+ for house shows five times a week

>>2759276
that's not a botch
>>2759303
the storyline of Omega/Okada is just as important and contributes to the quality. (better storytelling on Omega's face after Okada got the foot on the ropes after the OWA than most WWE matches have in their entirety)

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>LE IT BREAKS THE SCALE MEME!
Let me explain to you how measuring systems work. In science, when a new object or phenomena is discovered that cannot be accurately measured by the standards in current use, then a new system and device has to be constructed. You can't accurately measure the weight of an elephant with an old coil and spring bathroom scale.

Dave does not just hand out ******+ stars. He's been observing, writing and reviewing wrestling for almost 40 years. Omega/Okada is just incapable of being properly expressed in five stars, it transcends it. They are matches that are in a class of their own as far as Dave is concerned.

>match consists entirely of a billion rainmakers and a million knees
>6+ stars

Someone stop this man before he kills someone

>>2759338
One of the best descriptions I've heard so far, though wwe fans will just ignore the logic behind this shit to suit their agenda.

>>2759338
Why are you on /asp/ and not being the next Meltzer? I'm the smartest person this board and you just got my pussy wet with this post.

>>2759341
Seriously. They did the same moves over and over at the end. I thought I was watching a shitty Cena match.

>>2758792
He doesn't actually give a shit about his star ratings and never has. He's always said it's by far the lest important thing he does. It's retarded marks like yourself that puts too much emphasis on something Dave doesn't even really care about.

All it does it footnote some fantastic matches, 4.5 and up are almost always going to be worth a watch. That being said, there's plenty of matches I thought he lowballed and plenty of matches I thought he rated stupidly high (half of WWE's main events come to mind).

>>2759338
Reminder he did this before which is where his 5 stars came from. Originally the highest he went was 4 ala ebert.

Pro wrestling is dead.

>>2758644
Feels a bit stupid, to be honest. Make it another 6* and be done with it.

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>kenny and okada are the only wrestlers trying to take the medium to new artistic heights

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>1 person decides the rankings for a match
>Neckbeards jerk off to 1 guy
Pathetic

I saw one spot only from this match and it was the gayest fake looking sequence/spot (one winged angel flip over okada into uppercut)

The delay while omega just waited there was cringe.

this is a bullshit rating and you should all feel bad for thinking this match is GOAT

>>2759569
fucking this. that spotfest was over-rated as fuck and the timekeeper consistently announcing the time made the finish predictable as fuck. They didn't even use psychology with their work in the ring. The leg injury in the opening 10 mins of the match didn't even come into play.
Normal indy spotfest IMO

>>2759569
>I saw one spot only from this match
>Now let me explain to why the other 59 minutes and 40 seconds of the match which I have not seen was all stupid cringey fake spot bullshit.
>Even though as noted, I saw only one spot from the entire 60 minute match.
Way to completely destroy your own credibility in about 8 words there pal. Why should anyone listen to your extrapolations about the entire 60 mins match when you openly admit you saw one spot?

>>2758776
so am I :^)

>>2758955
>Kushida/Takahashi got 4.75
I like these two guys but the match wasn't even that impressive.

>>2759338

And besides, so far it's only been with Okada/Omega matches. Who says we'll see more 6* matches for the following years?

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>http://tunein.com/station/?StationId=45194

Meltzer going on air soon to talk about the match.

>>2759276
>It's like a perfect game in baseball. Impossible to do better.
Sure it is. The pitcher can drive in all the runs for his team too. It's called a Super Win.

>>2758685
Why even carry a bag with 2000 dollars in cash, and your passports to go along with it?

>>2758949
>Perfect matches don't exi-

>>2758762
I'd be generous and push it to 4.75 stars for the Dominion match but other than that this is literally the case.

>>2760416
Actually, Meltzer has rated matches 6 stars before. This is just the first time in a long time.

>>2759569
>>2759579
Go back to talking about Roman Reigns, edrones

>>2758644
e-drones BTFO

>>2758924
Those two guys, Will Osprey and Ricochet, have a gimmick of "we do really good flips, like, REALLY good flips", must NJPW matches dont have half the shit this match had

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>>2758702