Wrestling Observer Radio: Extreme Rules Bryan and Vinny Raw

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>Neville defeated Austin Aries in a Submission match to retain the WWE Cruiserweight Championship ** 3/4 stars

This was bad. These poor fuckers got the death slot. Literally no one cared about this match especially when that one faggot who comes to every fucking show carrying a beach ball fucking distracts the crowd from what is actually happening in the actual fucking match right now. Aries hit Neville with a Superplex cross reverses it into the Last Chancery. They roll out of the ring and continue this submission but since this isn’t “Submissions Count Anywhere” Aries had to break the hold when they made it to the outside. Neville hit The Red Arrow on Aries back then cross reversed that into the Rings of Saturn then won.

>Rich Swann and Sasha Banks defeated Noam Dar and Alicia Fox * 3/4 stars

I have nothing to say about this match besides why the fuck was this taken off the Pre-Show? Why is Dar such a cuck that he has to fucking sell for a woman and not just any woman fucking Sasha “Break my neck by Sneezing too hard” Banks.

>Sheamus and Cesaro defeated The Hardy Boys Matt and Jeff to become the new WWE Tag-Team Champions *** 1/4 stars.

Halfway thru the match, Jeff somehow escaped the cage but didn’t win the match because both of your teammates need to escape with you otherwise it doesn’t fucking count for some unknown stupid reason. So Jeff tries to get back in the cage and Sheamus prevents this from happening by giving Jeff Hardy a concussion with the Brogue against the Steel Door. Sheamus hits his White Noise on Matt from the Top of the Cage then Jeff gets back into the cage and hits Whisper from the Wind off the top.

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Thank you, anon.

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>Samoa Joe defeated Bray Wyatt, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns and Finn Balor *** 3/4 stars

>Through their combine strength which is segregated between Fat and Morbidly obese, both Joe and Wyatt carry a segment of steel steps and ram them into all the Babyfaces one at a time like it was some kind of fucking Pac-Man maze and of course since Babyfaces in 2017 WWE like any kind of common sense they just fucking stand there and get hit like fucking morons. Wyatt picks up a chair kills everyone with it almost swings it at Joe’s head could have potentially given him brain damage missed and hit Balor instead. Wyatt smashes Balor’s crotch with a Steel Chair. Samoa Joe retardedly runs face first into a Steel Chair. Balor beats the shit out of Joe and Wyatt with a chair hitting Bray with a Coast 2 Coast w/ The Chair. Reigns spears Balor and Joe thru the Audience Barricade while Rollins hits Wyatt with a 5-Star Frog Splash thru the Spanish Announce Table

>A whole bunch of shit ends up happening: Rollins tries to hit Reigns w/ the Phoenix Splash despite still bullshitting with the whole terribly selling the knee garbage, fails, walks into a Sister Abigail but Reigns attempts to Spear them both only hits Wyatt. Balor hits Reigns with the Stomp after Superman punching all the other guys only for Joe to win the with the Choke.

>The Miz defeated Dean Ambrose to become the new WWE Intercontinental Champion *** stars

They gave this match way too much time. This match should have gotten 12-15 minutes and they gave it 20. This was like every single House Show match these two have had hundreds of thousands of times. Maryse tries to get Miz disqualified by smacking him but the Ref doesn’t buy it. Ambrose accidentally bumps the ref and before the ref makes the call Miz hits Ambrose w/ the Skull Crushing Finale and just wins. This feud continues.

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>Kurt “We gonna fucking do this again Joe well fucking go get that Steel Cage but I have been dying to tear my fucking ACL to pieces again” Angle. Rollins cock blocks him because Vince would rather die or push someone else that isn’t his hand picked Samoan Anti-Draw then let Kurt Angle wrestle right there with letting Daniel Bryan, Edge, Christian, and Corey Graves at the Concussions Table.

>Sheamus and Cesaro defeated Heath Slater and Rhyno to retain the WWE Tag-Team Championships. Sheamus is a piece of shit talking about how he gave Jeff Hardy a concussion and fucked up his front tooth on purpose like a cuck.

>TJ Perkins defeated Mustafa Ali in a #1 contenders match where the winner would receive a Cruiserweight Championship Opportunity at GBOF. And just like that in an already forgettable puff of smoke TJ’s utter shit Heel turn is already null and void because its going to be Face Perkins vs Heel Neville.

>These undercard time wasting segments will not get Goldust over when he actually needs to start wrestling and that goes Quadruple for Truth.

>Kalisto defeated Titus O’Neil w/ a Roll-Up. This match is non-important. What happened before the match was Angle wrote up Corey Graves a Violation for allegedly attacking Enzo Emore and Dean Ambrose snuck back into the building just like he used to when Shane mcMahon told him to fuck off.

>The Miz simply shrugs his shoulders seeing Cass unconscious in the backstage area. The Miz then proceeds to attack someone wearing a bear costume thinking its Dean Ambrose. This segment gets better when The Miz hits a Suicide Dive directly at a large package thinking it is Dean Ambrose. Mike “DIE AMBROSE YOU DON’T BELONG IN THIS WORLD!” Mizanian. Ambrose then attacks The Miz from behind.

>Big Show, still depressed his Wrestlemania moment was ruined twice in one night is now forced to be paired with one of the worst undercard guys on the Raw roster.

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>One Month ago I was the WWE World Heavyweight Champion and that Morbidly Obese possible cousin to Roman reigns piece of Pineapple saturated shit Samoa Joe has sentenced me back to the Midcard. There will be fire and damnation to pay- Bray Wyatt

>Its amazing how Roman Reigns can without even putting any real effort into it turn a mixed reaction to universally hated reaction from the Live Audience just by being given a mic

>Roman Reigns defeated Bray Wyatt. Fans were surprisingly hot to see this match. I feel like they should have had it be a Disqualification or some kind of Interference because having Bray make a promise he couldn’t keep makes it seem that later on he’s going to lose to Rollins and Balor later down the road. Its not fair.

>Enzo Emore wants to challenge Corey “Concussions are for weaklings” Graves to a match.

>Alexa “The end of the Horse Face Women’s Reign begins today we’re entering the era of Petite and Smol and yelling” Bliss.

>Dean Ambrose proceeds to beat the merciless shit out of Elias Sampson as revenge for him getting a fluke victory thanks to The Miz. Elias, not to be fucked with gets his ass back up then beats the shit out of Ambrose for his disrespect.

>Dean “Where in the fuck is The Miz and his faggot talentless boyfriend Elias Sampson” Ambrose

>Samoa Joe better straight up fucking kill Brock Lesnar. Samoa Joe wants to be a Paul Heyman guy. Joe locks Heyman in his Obesity Folds trying to bait Lesnar to come out right now.

Based Sheamus working marky. cry more you obese nerd

>>2730025

Shut the fuck up Carter you Ban Evader.

>>2730005
No one cares about your shit opinions, you obese smark. Just post the show and let us listen

>>2730005
kek

fucking kill yourself marky no one wants your fake wor spoilers

>>2732987
I can't help it man. he works me really hard for some reason. He just knows how to annoy me

>>2730005

"Wrestling Observer.calm"

What did he mean by this?

>>2737171

well uh, um, it is what it uh is, ya know?

>>2730005
I want Goldust and R-Truth to fight in a House of Horrors gimmicked to the brim with movie references.

But knowing the senile fart Vince is, he'd probably book it with no pop culture references after 1955

>>2730050
you fucking mad

>>2730005
based

>>2730005

>>2738313
this

>>2730005
cool