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>join BJJ 2 years ago
>socially awkward
>lack confidence
>but people are still friendly
>I bite my tongue and keep going
>months later, I'm still not developing socially around these people
>remain a quiet little mouse
>it's not long before people start avoiding me
>I get to class, no one says hi, and when class begins and we have to partner up, I'm always the last one to get a partner, and it's usually with a beginner newbie
>when it's time to switch partners, again, I'm always the last one to get a partner
>I see people making friends and chatting
>people who started around the same time I did start going to tournaments and win them
>People keep asking me if I'm going to do a tournament, I keep saying "Yea I'd like to"
>Never do it
>People who started around the same time I did have gotten their blue belt now
>I'm still a white belt 3 stripes
>Sometimes we wrestle in front of the class, and the winner stays on the matt and the next person in line tries to win, repeat for 30 minutes
>while I'm in line waiting for my turn I'm dreading it, anxiety and shit. Having to roll while the whole class watches
>I feel like everyone can tell by my eyes I'm nervous and have anxiety
>Eventually, I start dread going to class
>I dread being picked last for a partner
>I dread having to roll in front of the class
>I dread having to engage in awkward conversations
>I dread people asking me when I'm doing a tournament, and me saying "I don't know"
>I dread it
>I eventually start going only 1 night a week
>Then one night every other week
>Then it got to a point where I wouldn't go for a month, and then I'd show up for 2-3 classes a week thinking to myself "this is where I will make my grand return" but then all those negative thoughts and feelings filled my head again and I left again
>I eventually just stopped going
>And now I haven't trained since last September
>Still think about it everyday
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cool blog
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>>2585134
Wow ya such a pussy. Something tell me ya under 6'
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>>2585444
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>>2585449
delet this
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Sounds like you need some matcha
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You sound like me lol, life is hard for people with social anxiety, I'm 26 and have done nothing in life.
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nobody is actually this pathetic
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>>2585134
>Year:2017
>mat wrestling other people
This makes ya a certified Pinhead so accept this as a failed experiment, try something else you know well
If you can't hold conversations, get in a small group and just Start topics off, like Ops on here and let them ride it
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>>2585566
I mean I'm a socially awkward autist and even I made friends with the people in my classes, how hard is it really
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>>2585548
I am.
You arent alone OP. I'm also like this at BJJ
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>>2585134
Just lift bro. Just be yourself
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>>2585574
>socially awkward autist
No you're just trying to be cool on 4chan, if you can make friends then you're a normy, I never made friends in school or even college, that's what real social anxiety does to you.
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>>2585574
>how hard is it really
really hard
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>>2585574
i havent made a friend since grade 8.so. its kinda hard to make friends with adults
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>>2585894
I'll be your friend
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nigger at least you did it in the first place instead of ultra niggers like me who lift weights in their bedroom watching fight tips on youtube wishing they had the balls to go outside and even attempt that shit but know they never will
funny thing is i feel like i've got to the point where i don't care about social exclusion anymore (which is probably my bigger problem now ironically), point is you're there to learn something and get good at it, you're not there to make friends or "a grand return" so stop thinking about other people, drop the ego and stop living inside your own head (hard to do i know)
either get good and stop caring about what people think or maybe you're just literally shit at it then go try something else. don't let yourself become ultra nigger asp dweller like me
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>>2585449
i hope that guy who limped around behind them is okay
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>>2585134
It's ok anon, I know that feel.
Join another class where you don't know anyone, and try again. Try even harder this time.
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>>2585134
I can't work the courage to go to a class to begin with, so you're not the most pathetic person on here
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>>2585134
hugs 4 u, anon
Thread posts: 22
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