OFFICIAL WORST POSSIBLE WINNER OF EVERY MANIA MATCH

>>2365725
>Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar (Universal Championship)
Goldberg squashes Bork again in 45 seconds. He botches a Jackhammer and kills Bork.
>Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho (US Championship)
Jericho wins and then leaves WWE again, creating nothing in the process.
>Charlotte vs. Bayley vs. Sasha Banks (RAW Woman's Chamionship)
Everybody botches every move. After a botched moonsault from Charlotte everybody gets counted out.
>Seth Rollins vs. Triple H
Based Haitch buries another star. The Pedigree paralyzes Rollins.
>Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns
Ramen wins. He botches copying HBK's by mouthing I Love You. Everybody over 13 boo's him. Vince loves it though. He has Hogan, Stone Cold, The Rock, HBK and Flair come out to endorse Reigns. More boo's follow.
>Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton (WWE Championship)
Orton wins after a slugfest, forcing him to go back to his Husky Harris gimmick.
>Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin (IC Championship)
Dean wins and all the commentators shout about how loony he is.
>Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch / Natalya / Micky James / Carmella / Etc (Smackdown
Woman's Chamionship)
James Ellsworth enters and wins the belt.
>AJ Styles vs. Shane McMahon
Shane dives out of a plane, lands on Styles and scores the pin
>John Cena & Nikki Bella vs. The Miz & Maryse
Nikki Bella pins Miz clean
>Neville vs. Austin Aries (possibly vs. Rick Swan vs. Jack Gallagher) (Cruiserweight Championship)
They do a run-in and it ends in a DQ
>The Club vs. Enzo & Cass vs. Cesaro & Sheamus (RAW Tag Team Championship)
They bury The Club and have Enzo & Cass win
>American Alpha vs. Uso's (Smackdown Tag Team Championship)
Uso's win
>Andre Battle Royal
A returning Kane wins and they call it a Wrestlemania Moment.

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>>2365775
>everybody gets counted out
>triple threat match
uh

>>2365725
>ATGMBR- who cares
>Snoozerweights- Anyone
Quit reading there. At least try to put some fucking effort into your shitposts, you pathetic embarrassment of a human being.

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>>2365775
>everybody gets counted out in a triple threat

>>2365725
>Corbin vs Ambrose - Cuckbin
>Shane vs AJetty - AJetty

why

>>2365801
>>2365789
>getting tricked this hard

>>2365775
Based card. That would make the big dog look strong.

>>2365857
Because AJ "Flat Earth" Styles shouldn't win

http://www.cagesideseats.com/wwe/2017/3/14/14926148/aj-styles-weird-ideas-about-nasa-not-flat-earth-daniel-bryan-sam-roberts

>>2365775
>He botches a Jackhammer and kills Bork.
He jackhammers him so hard he bounces off the mat and Goldy catches his legs, Cesaro swings him into 10th row. Wins by count out

>Jericho wins
He is leaving for his shit band after mania. Owens wins with a fuck finish
>Charlotte
Im thinking we'll see Dana distract flair for Bayley to win the belt. Again
>Based Shovelman wins
Cant argue with this
>Roman endorsed as greatest of all time
10/10
>Husky Harris
That was a shit gimmick, so its gonna have to be one hell of an punt
>Ambrose at wm
The crowd will give no fucks at this point. Unless they have doctors rush the ring to bring Dean to an actual asylum, where can cut vignettes for the next few months
>SD Women
Mickie will probably get this, with no plan for what to do with her after mania
>Nikki emasculates the Miz
sounds about right.
>Cruiserweight blackcurrent belt
Aries vs Gallagher for closing sequence, Gallagher uses umbrella to float over Aries offense like he's spamming the same move in a fighting game, wins after pinning an exhausted Aries.
>Enzo and Cass further killing the tag division by holding belts
Again, im thinking you're right
>Usos getting a heel tag champ run
please
>ARMBAR
Kane vs Show vs Shaq in a showdown, Shaq misses his spot like a free throw, show and kane end up eliminating themselves. Shaq goes into HoF next year

>>2365900
>It's a "I can't seperate personal feelings from the performer" episode

I bet you unsubbed from Jontron because he hurt your feelings, too.

Seth gets FinnBae to fight Haitch in his stead, to make up for the shoulder injury...

P O T T E R Y
O
T
T
E
R
Y

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>>2368178

Welp.

>>2365725
Look at reddit trying to fit in

>>2365893
>i was only pretending to be retarded

>>2366043
>unironically watching youtube gamers
le brofist me xD

>>2365789
>>2365801
Three people outside the ring. Three people get counted out.

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>>2365725
>wanting the lunatic cringe to win at wrestlemania

You are everything that is wrong with /asp/.

>>2365775
>every diva botches every move
What? That's a called a regular ol' """""women's wrestling"""""' match. They're literally no better now than the talentless sets of tits-on-legs 15-20 years ago, but at least those ones had tits.

>>2365775
Kek

>>2365725
The whole ppv is gonna suck and wwebabbys will be happy wasting their money watching this shit

Based on the current card...

>Goldberg(c) vs Brock Lesner - WWE Universal Championship
Honestly, Lesner. Having him get his "win back" does nothing in this feud. It needs to happen to bring Brock down to everyone else's level and helps humble Brock, for as the saying goes "There is always someone better". This should then lead to Goldberg either just dropping the title and retiring after a triumphant WM moment, or giving Braun Strowman the rub.

>Bray Wyatt(c) vs Randy Orton - WWE World Championship
Anything that doesnt involve Bray Wyatt retaining would be foolish. The only correct way for this match to end is Bray Wyatt winning clean...no Rowan, no Harper. They can do whatever after the final bell rings, but Wyatt HAS to win clean for this match to mean something.

>Chris Jericho(c) vs Kevin Owens - WWE United States Championship
Either winning would be fine. However, it should be clean. This type of feud cannot afford a dirty finish at Wrestlemania of all places. It would be awful to tie them both up, dragging this feud on until Summerslam or whatever.

>Dean Ambrose(c) vs Baron Corbin - WWE Intercontinental Championship
Corbin should win, and win super dirty. This is a feud that could build towards Summerslam and cement Corbin as a top heel for Smackdown.

>Bayley(c) vs Charlotte vs Sasha Banks - WWE RAW Women's Championship
The correct line is Bayley retaining. The shit part is going to come from Sasha then turning heel and starting her feud with Bayley instead of giving someone else a chance, like maybe bringing back heel Emma....or Dana Brook...or something other than the same fucking people over and over again.

>Alexa Bliss(c) vs Everyone - WWE Smackdown Women's Championship
I honestly dont care who wins...but Carmella winning and/or Alexa retaining would both be awful.

>Gallows & Anderson(c) vs Enzo & Cass vs Cesaro & Sheamus - WWE RAW Tag Team Championship
PLEASE LET THE CLUB RETAIN

>>2370043

>American Alpha(c) vs The Usos - WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship
Give the Usos the belt. Alpha's reign has been the biggest waste of time ever.

>Neville(c) vs Austin Aries - WWE Cruiserweight Championship
King of the Manlet should retain. Let Aries chase it until Summerslam.

>Undertaker vs Roman Reigns
Either Undertaker wins clean or Reigns win dirty...anything else is why fucking bother

>Seth Rollins vs Triple H
Seth Rollins win clean or fucking riot

>AJ Styles vs Shane McMahon
AJ must win, but any means necessary

>John Cena & Nikki Bella vs The Miz & Maryse
The correct ending should be Nikki pinning Maryse. The worse ending would be Cena pinning Miz (Or any mix-gender pins)

>Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
The winner should be Strowman, eliminating every single person. Worse would be Apollo Crews.

>>2365775
Lmfao

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>>2366043
>using your entertainment time to watch someone who's worldview is a detriment to your entertainment under the pretense of emotional objectivity
I bet he's real good at yelling at the camera though.

>>2365725
I hope Lesner wins and leaves with the championchip for a year. I hope Chris Jericho wins and leaves with the championship.

>>2365775
>>Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar (Universal Championship)
>Goldberg squashes Bork again in 45 seconds. He botches a Jackhammer and kills Bork.
>>Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho (US Championship)
>Jericho wins and then leaves WWE again, creating nothing in the process.
>>Charlotte vs. Bayley vs. Sasha Banks (RAW Woman's Chamionship)
>Everybody botches every move. After a botched moonsault from Charlotte everybody gets counted out.
>>Seth Rollins vs. Triple H
>Based Haitch buries another star. The Pedigree paralyzes Rollins.

This sounds fantastic

>>2365725
>Andre the giant battle royale
who cares
>Aries vs Neville
Double count out followed by Hogan coming out and making those cruiserweights cruiserwait jack
>Smckdown woman's title
Carmella wins because of memesworth
>RAW Woman's title
Sasha wins and stays face
>IC Title
8 minute double countout, Baron stands tall after a brawl, benefits no-one
>US Title
Jericho wins clean then fucks off
>Miz/Maryse vs Cena/Nikki
Cena and Nikki do their finishers together within 30 seconds and win with a double pin
>Shane vs AJ
Is a singles match, goes for 30 minutes, loads of shitty chain wrestling, Shane wins with a fisherman's suplex
>Haitch vs Seth
Haitch targets the knee for 8 minutes then wins with a pedigree anyway
>Orton vs Wyatt
Sister abigail comes out, Bray kisses her then gets rko'd and pinned in 18 seconds. Match is in the midcard
>Reigns vs Undertaker
Vince has the genius idea of making this a 40 minute epic. Reigns drags a carcass around for 35 minutes in the worst match since Taker vs A-Train then spears Taker and wins. They shake hands to a cacophony of boos and ROMAN SUCKS chants.
>RAW Tag match
Anderson comes out alone. Festus comes out midmatch and gets brogue kicked.
>Smackdown tag match
Kurt angle comes out and cancels the match because who the fuck cares. The Rock and Steve Austin come out and hit their finishers on American Alpha.
>Lesnar vs Goldberg
Goldberg wins again in 50 seconds. Paul Heyman gets the mic and challenges Goldberg to a rematch at Summerslam which he accepts.

>>2371321
>utter dogshit taste

>"championchip"

>>2370043
>>Dean Ambrose(c) vs Baron Corbin - WWE Intercontinental Championship
>Corbin should win, and win super dirty. This is a feud that could build towards Summerslam and cement Corbin as a top heel for Smackdown.
Nah, Corbin needs to win in such a way that it's decisive without burying Ambrose, but not dirty. Corbins thing seems to be powerful but sloppy, he wouldn't and shouldn't win dirty unless they want to do something else with his character.

>>2365725
>making awful stupid nicknames for everybody except Miz and Orton

lol

There's literally no way John Cena doesn't propose to Nikki in-ring after defeating Miz and Maryse.


OR! Or...the heel turn we've all been wanting and F5s Nikki

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>>2365900
>he doesnt know

>Bray vs. Randy
Randy is worse to me just because I feel like you can really elevate Bray here by giving him the win and if he loses at Wrestlemania fucking again, it does a lot to undo all the work to build him up the last six months. They've done this so many times, pushing Bray close to the top, then when the time comes for him to get that final big win that would cement him, they screw him. Please don't do it again.

>Goldberg vs. Lesnar
It's not like either one is good or bad. They're both just...there. Lesnar winning wipes the asterisk and makes him Super Lesnar again. Goldberg winning forever cements that asterisk, which'd be pretty interesting from a narrative perspective, but kinda weird from a wrestling booking perspective. Goldberg winning is probably worse, if only because you really just can't have him as a long-term champion because he's so limited in matches.

>Undertaker vs. Roman
Babyface Reigns winning would be the worst possible thing here. Undertaker winning clean is fine, Reigns winning dirty or clean but as a heel is fine. Just for the love of god, don't have Reigns win clean and then have the Undertaker raise his hand and go IT'S YER YARD NOW ROMAN. Please, for the love of christ, Vince.

>Jericho vs. Owens
Owens winning with more fucking interference. Owens needs a big clean win so fucking badly if he's gonna be a top heel on Raw going forward. If he wins because Samoa Joe ran in, it's just the same shit all over again.

>Cena/Nikki vs. Miz/Maryse
The whole point is for Cena to propose to Nikki after and this is basically Nikki's retirement match, so, Maryse pinning Nikki would probably be the worst way to do this.

>>2370062
The USOs are the biggest waste of time ever. They and their act belong in the 70s/80s

>>2371697
>Bayley vs. Charlotte vs. Sasha
Charlotte winning would be the worst because dear fucking christ, if they put the belt on Bayley on Raw and then broke Charlotte's streak at Fastlane just to have her win at Mania AGAIN then what the blue flying fuck. Bayley retaining on her own or Sasha screwing Bayley to win are both fine. If Dana or Nia get added to the match, then either of them winning becomes the worst outcome.

>Alexa vs. Everybody
Carmella wins because James Ellsworth interference. Anybody else is more or less fine.

>Neville vs. Aries
Honestly, there's no wrong answer here, because both guys are so good. But Neville carried this division almost singlehandedly and deserves a big win at Mania. Aries can get the belt further down the line.

>Club vs. Shesaro vs. E&C
Shesaro is fine because they're great. Club is fine because after getting killed so many times, a win at Mania would do a little bit to legitimize them. E&C is fine, but the least fine, because their shtick is over, but they themselves aren't very good or very over and it's just not the right time to put the belts on them.

>Battle Royale
Ziggler. Because Ziggler fucking sucks.

>Shane vs. AJ
Dear lord, Shane winning would be so stupid. The only reason for Shane to win would be as a fuck you to the fans.

>Ambrose vs. Corbin
There's no wrong answer, here. Ambrose is a top babyface, Corbin is a top heel. Just pick one. But Ambrose hasn't done much with the IC Title and should probably be in the hunt for the World Title after Mania, so, he would probably be worse.

>Seth vs. HHH
lmao if HHH puts himself over here, after six months of Seth looking completely worthless as a babyface, after all the fucking terrible writing, after making him look like such a garbage useless shitter so many times, if HHH puts himself over, it'd probably be the greatest burial of his career.

>>2371701
Enzo and Cass are super fucking over. But they shouldn't get the belts for like 2 years. They work too well as just underdog shit talking new york goons, a timeless gimmick they can ride out.

>>2371711
Their intro is over. I dunno if the guys themselves are over.

Sheamus got a THANK YOU SHEAMUS chant for kicking Enzo's head in.

>>2371716
I don't know if Cass is over but of course Enzo is over. You can be annoying and be over. It's not the same ''thank you'' chants as Braun gets when he wrecks Roman.

Enzo is the most charismatic guy on the roster

>>2371697
Undertaker will win...after a multitude of finishers inflicted towards Roman.

Then Roman slowly gets up, offers his hand as a sign of respect, Taker shakes his hands, Roman nods and then slowly leaves.

>>2371742
That's honestly how I think it'll go right now.

Reigns will need a million Tombstones to finish him, and he'll get to kick out of the jumping Tombstone that finished Shawn, but he'll eventually lose.

>>2371749
That ain't my prediction, just stole it from Jim Ross.

>>2365725
Owens will win anyways cuz Jericho's fucking off with fozzy after mania i think

>>2365792
>jobber battle
>manlet battle
>any outcome is inherently good or bad

They all suck

>ATGMBR
Apollo Crews
>Cruisers
Aries
>Smackdown Womyns Champ
Natalya
>RAM Womyns Champ
Charlotte
>BMJ and Nikki vs Mizanin and Maryse
Miz and Maryse
>Jericho v Owens
Jericho
>Corbin vs Ambrose
Ambrose I guess. Really don't care.
>Shane vs AJ
Shane
>HHH v Seth
Haitch
>Roman v Taker
Roman
>Orton vs Wyatt
Orton
>Goldberg vs Brock
Brock
>Raw tag titles
The Club
>SD tag titles
Usos

>>2371395
>Carmella wins because of memesworth
I would be fine with this.
>Cena and Nikki do their finishers together within 30 seconds and win with a double pin
This will probably actually happen.

>>2371697
>It's not like either one is good or bad. They're both just...there. Lesnar winning wipes the asterisk and makes him Super Lesnar again. Goldberg winning forever cements that asterisk, which'd be pretty interesting from a narrative perspective, but kinda weird from a wrestling booking perspective. Goldberg winning is probably worse, if only because you really just can't have him as a long-term champion because he's so limited in matches.
Best would be if Goldberg wins then retires and vacates the title the next night on Raw.

Last time Lesnar held the belt and didn't wrestle at most PPVs it was a disaster.