/asp/ Books an Episode of Raw

*crowd boos*

*PLEASE DON'T TALK PELASE DON'T TALK*

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>2360873
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>2360877
Everyone says "cringe" at this lonely anon

>>2360873
*crowd erupts into massive cheers and BASED BIG DOG chants*

>notice that it isn't tuesday
>turn off tv

I'M AN AMERICAN BAD ASS

*roman picks up mic*

"SHUT THE HELL UP YOU OVERWEIGHT VIRGINS YOU BOO ME NOW BUT 4 AM WHEN IM AT THE AIRPORT YOU WILL BE BEGGIN FOR A AUTOGRAPH FROM THE BIG DOG NOW SIT DOWN AND DRINK YOUR JUICE AND BITCH ON TWITTER...NOW ONTO THE UNDERTAKER"

>>2360886
Wtf I love The Big Dog now

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>Steph comes out for a 25 min. emasculation promo

Michael Cole: "The audience seems to be seething."

>Ryback's music hits
>OH MYYY! THE BIG GUY FACE TO FACE WITH THE BIG DOG!
>SPEAR SPEAR SPEAR ROMAN JUST SPEARED RYBACK
>Roman picks up mic
>Sorry Ryan, there's only room for one big mammal on RAW, and you aint him
>Crowd cheers
>Crowd chants ROMAN ROMAN ROMAN

I GOT LONG SIDEBURNS AND MY HAIR SLICKED BACK, I'M COMING TO YOUR TOWN IN MY PINK CADILLAC

Michael Cole: "Honky Tonk Man is holding up his guitar, reminiscent of Paul Bearer holding the urn? What kind of supernatural powers does The Big Dog, Roman Reigns, possess?"

**Commercial Break**

Cut to the backstage area, Doc Gallows and Doc Anderson are there

"We still haven't found the cure for ringpostitis. Too sweet me hootski"

*Insert Zayn getting squashed here*

*Cameramen on Coke*
Zoom in*zoom out*Zoom in*zoom out*Zoom in*zoom out*

>>2360962

>Enzo and Cass enter
>Cass' left nipple exposed
>"So what we got here? A cuppa h8rs?"

Random cruiserweight match

https://youtu.be/QBYQ28RWBnM
*Stacker2. Buy this shit, you fuckers."

"I have a dream..."
*stock music plays*
Michael Cole: "That's right, folks. It's February again. Here's Mark Henry..."

*HHH comes out for a promo*

YOU SEE SEFF

New Day Promo
"Who*who*who*who"
"You make sure..."
"We are hosting Wrestlemaniaaaaaaarrr"

>mick foley's gay right here in hand meme
>steph belittles mick and a wrestler on the roster setting up a match for later
>roman made to look strong but gets boo'd out of building as soon as his music hits and continues to get boo'd out of building
>new gay dance/autism segment
>womens """"""""wrestling"""""""""
>filler tag match or combination with seamus/cesaro/club/enzo/cass after they do a shitty cringeworthy promo
>Old veteran that was advertised to try and get some ratings on the night or sell some tickets
>flippy shit rope color change

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>>2360873
>Roman comes out dressed as Undertaker

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OLD

DAY

ROCKS

>>2361020
This, but with a decent Jericho segment thrown in is raw in a nutshell.

Michael Cole: "We have breaking news, a GREAT star is making his return tonight and, wait a minute, he's pulling into the garage n-now OH, MY GOD! DUNN, CUT THE FEED, CUT THE GODDAMNED FEED!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, moments ago Bret Hart was set make an entrance from the parking garage and he was crashed into the parking garage... I have the unfortunate responsibility to let everyone know that Bret Hart was not the returning Superstar here tonight. It's THIS MAN, THE GREAT KHALI!"

*Khali does a 10 minute promo, feels like 10 hours*

*mutes crowd*

>>2361095
>*Khali does a 10 minute promo, feels like 10 hours*

don't forget dancing while doing the promo

*It was just a hologram*

>>2360881
You can book a Raw, but you can't book crowd reactions

jesus, brock looking pretty fuckin cut