ITT: Badass things you do irl based on wrestling

>>1834209

He looks so autistic when he does that.

>>1834209
Shake it off, I-I Shake it off

>>1834223
If a big buff man looks like that, imagine how OP would look like

>>1834209
>some punk kid insults my new leather trenchcoat and cowboy hat
>get in his face
>he hits me and the world goes black
>come to staring at the sky
>sit right up and stare at him
>walks off with his friends trying to play it off like they're laughing at me
Fear the power of the deadman

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>date at a fancy restaurant
>order water
>demand it to be served in a bottle
>do pic related
>bury my date
>go over
>leave, tear quad

>>1834209
>>1834250
This thread has potential

Punt kicked my dweeb cousin when he annoyed me. He sold the hell out of it, spent 30 minutes lying there. I appreciated him making me look strong so I forgave him

>>1834250
Can someone post the pic of the guys Botcha Banks mark defending her on some shitty WWE /wew/ meme facebook page where he's dressed kinda like this

>>1834209
>mom tries to make me go to bed early because I was bad
>drop a pipe bomb on her and say this house will be better off when she's dead
>dad tries to chime in
>call him a doofus
>he tackles me to the ground and starts whaling on me
>wtf I was supposed to go over
>realize shoot fights aren't booked
>get up bloodied and bash and tell my dad to always believe in himself

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>walk down the hallway to class
>Dance like HBK as I do
>Mutter under my breath some lyrics to the song
>....think I'm cute.....I'm on cloud nine.....
>After I enter classroom door I do his leg stretch and flex stance while imitating the fireworks with my mouth in front of a full classroom.

>8:00 am
>bell rings
>ska music starts playing
>Kick front door down
>start skipping down the hall like Sami Zayn to my classroom
>fat kid beats me up along the way and takes my lunch money

>>1834395
Did the fat kid scream HEADLOCK MASTER or any other pandering smark memes?

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>>1834209
I sometimes do the Orton pose in the mirror when I get doms from the gym.

it actually feels like a good stretch so there's that too..

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if im leaning back i do the whole RVD arm thing

I occasionally do the rvd pose cause my name is rob.
Also if i climb something of moderate height when i reach the top i do the orton pose

I superkick light switcher.

>>1834405

No, he hit me with a p-p-p-pop up power bomb.

>get into a fight with one of the mean bullies at school
>they don't know that Being a Star will get you far
>run at the bully and jump to deliver a devestating punch, while imagining Michael Cole shouting "The power of Randall Reigns!"
>the bully ducks and kicks me in the groin

Everybody knows that low blows are dishonourable...

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>>1834389
10/10

I used to listen to CM Punk's old Killswitch Engage theme when I walked into school in the morning. It was moderately autistic, but no one knew. Thankfully.

>in school
>about to start presentation of the increasing amount of obese people in the United States of America
>walk to the teacher and scream GIMME A FUCKING MIC

>Everytime I introduce myself to someone I do the Enzo Amore monologue
>Don't have any tall friends so I whip out my dick and say inches instead of feet
>And you can't teach that

>>1834389
TOP KEK

>>1834209
At the gym I tend to walk out of the locker room onto the floor real slowly while I make my way to my first machine like Randy Orton walks to the ring. Sometimes I even put on his song when I do this.

I would do the CM Punk hands thingy when I was warming up. Also I'll do the Brock Lesnar thing when I get out of bed.

>>1834388
It's literally in one of the next active threads on /asp/

>>1834588
Bretty gud.

>>1834766
HEY - NOTHING YOU CAN SAY - NOTHINGS GONNA CHANGE WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5enKjKAlQU

>>1834769
Which one, I've been looking for the pic for a while now. I looked in the last active threads but haven't found it.

To this day I still do all of Lashley's taunts.

I got into a fight with a black guy once after accidentally backing into his car.

I knew most wrestling moves wouldn't work, so I went for a Pedigree cuz I knew it would work. Black guy went down and I walked away unscathed.

>>1834817
I liked the subtlety of your joke there :^)

Jesus, I really am autistic.

>Tried doing the Triple H water spit thing in PE while flexing at like 15 and ended up just spitting everything in front of me and down my shirt

>Occasionally Tune Up The Band on my cats then finish with a crotch chop

>Finish every arguement with a friend with: "And if you ain't down with that, I got 2 words for ya..."

>Do a kip-up after lying down mostly in PE then start pumping my fists and letting the crowd give me energy

>>1834855
holy shit your the type of kid we laugh at when we see you

>>1834863
To be fair, this was when I was like 15, so many many years ago now, The only thing I still do is tune up the band and crotch chop my cats.

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>>1834389

>>1834855
> kliq kiddies
How many cocks did you suck this morning?

>>1834874
More cocks than you could ever dream of, sunshine :^)

>>1834868
It would not have been autistic and cringey if you were 8 or younger

>>1834878
You're right, which is why I started it off by saying:
>Jesus, I really am autistic

I am aware of how fucking goofy I was.

>>1834391
> I think im cute, I know im sexy

I used to listen to Eminem's "My Name Is" remixed with Stone Cold saying "What?"

>my best friend died 2 years ago
>take steroids everyday
>kill retarded son and nagging wife

>>1834878
Nah, it's not that bad. The whole DX thing was going on around the early 2000's. Wrestling was a lot more accepted back then and while this stuff is still cringey, it wasn't like today where you'd get bullied for years because of it.

>>1834209
>really intimidates them
Top kek
People is frightened because of your autism

My and my homie powerbombed this white boy into the locker room trash can

I was banging this hooker and about to come. This was my first time and I wanted it to be memorable. So I feel the jizz about to burst out and yell:

"GLORIUS!!!!"

And that was that.

>>1834929
Haha it sure does Pajeet

>>1834252
top fucking kek

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Every time I stretch, I do so like Sheamus's taunt.

I always do the Triple H muscle flex when I get out of bed

>>1835162
I do it on a daily basis 2bh

>>1835168
Yeah man, that flex has something that makes you feel powerful

>>1835173
It's the intensity.

[chews gum loudly]

>>1835168
>>1835173
>>1835162
Do you spit your boyfriend's jizz out of your mouth into a mist just like HHH and his water bottle, too?

>be 13 year old me
>biggest John Cena fan
>where his shirts, hat, cargo pants and sweatbands to school everyday
>never wash them
>huge roided senior starts bullying me
>I live with it because John Cena tells me to never give up
>I watch John Cena beat Batista at Wrestlemania 26
>realise that the roided senior is my Batista
>work up enough hustle, loyalty and respect to fight back
>walking down the hall playing Cena's theme on a speaker
>hear roided senior call my name
>turn around and charge at him
>hit him with a shoulder tackle
>doesn't do anything
>I get angry that he no sold my move
>I do another shoulder tackle
>he stumbles to one knee
>get ready to duck his punch so I can slam him and hit the 5 knuckle shuffle
>instead he just low blows me
>on the ground yelling 'DQ! Dq!'
>he just starts kicking me
>he walks away as I piss my pants
>my mum picks me up and I throw away all my John Cena merch
>discover /asp/ and I start ranting about how much John Cena sucks

I do the Scott Hall strut whenever I leave a toilet stall

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>>1835183
>not imitating the greatest wrestler to have stepped foot in the WWE squared circle

2 words

>>1835183
No, I swallow

>>1835190
Imitating? Not for me. You seem to have a classic case of Ziggleritis. I'm sorry, it's terminal.

>>1835195
What can I do about it, Doctor?

>>1835190
Hunter is pretty much the textbook definition of a B+ player. He's solid at everything but great at nothing.

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how do you guys deal with cripping depression and constant thoughts of wanting to die in your sleep. i can't enjoy wrestling anymore like i used to.

>>1835188
Do you do the final taunt to shake off the dingle berries?

>>1835214
I make angry anonymous posts to vent and then go to sleep.

>>1834583
Why did CM Punk insist on choosing only Guitar Hero tunes as his entrance?

>>1835214
HUSTLE
LOYALTY
RESPECT

Right before I let loose a fat shit I taunt like Kane about set off the pyro.

>>1834209
I got shitty knees/ankles so sometimes I kinda walk like Stone Cold

>>1834389
kek

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>>1834389

>walk into the local bar
>bartender looks at me
>"What do you want?"
>GIVE ME A BEER
>The bartender blankly looks back at me
>"Sir, could you tell me what you want from the tap?"
>WHAT?
>Bartender looks more confused
>"What kind of beer do you want?"
>WHAT?
>"...the kind of beer?"
>GIVE ME A HELL YEAH
>bartender and everyone around him looks confused
>"We don't serve that kind of beverage here."
>Flip that motherfucker the double birds
>Go back behind the bar
>STUNNER STUNNER BAH GOD THE STUNNER
>Leave the bar
>Realize I didn't pay
>Walk back in
>Here's your tip
>3 dollars and 16 cents says I just whupped your candy ass

Haven't laughed this much at an /asp/ thread since 'nam

>>1834230
/thread

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>>1836797
>/thread

>>1834209
When waiting in line at the bank or any other line I put my hands on my waist and walk up to the counter with my chin up and a confident stare like how Chris Benoit would do. And sometimes I throw 4 fingers up to let motherfuckers know not to fuck with me.

Guys I need help. I pissed off a guy at work and he says he wants to fight tomorrow. what kind of promo should i cut?

>>1834407
I do this in the morning when stretching and in the shower when washing my hair

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>>1834389
>wtf I was supposed to go over

>>1836851
"Every man with two hands has a fighting chance"

>>1835162
I do this walking around all the fucking time
ITS TIME TO PLAY THE GAME

>>1836851
Make a movie quote name the movie and year and then start flirting with him telling him what youre going to do to him

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>Be History teacher
>always wait at least 10 min outside of the classroom to see the kids think that i'm not coming
>raise my phone's volume
>YOU KNOW IT'S THE MACMILIMANT
>open door and start doing pic related
>see the children's disgusted faces as i dance
>pair them in teams of two for today's assignment.

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>>1836932

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>walk up to busy subway train station
>carry boom box and cardboard
>lay both down and begin to play this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQEFDvNG08A

I shudder now at how autistic I looked.

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>>1834209
>Be me
>Wait four years for this moment.
>Sit through them calling 25 peoples names
>Get to my name get my diploma shake and smile. (Last name starts with B)
> Sit through 235 more names
>Congratulations graduating anon class of 2007.
>Throws at in air
>Pomp and circumstances plays.
>OOOOOOOOOOOH YEAAAAAAAH DIG IT.
>twirl my finger in the air while spinning around.
>Dropping coffee creamer and slim jims all around me.
>Turn gown into cape.
>Strut my way out of highschool as if i was randy savage ignoring family members as i make my triumphant exit.
>Favorite teacher asks me what i will do now.
>Tell him sugar is sweet and so is honey but the beat goes on.

I do the d'lo brown head shake everytime I enter a club

>>1835224
Toppest kek I've done this a handful of times as well.

>>1834591
Underrated post

>Bunch of feminazis on a slut walk, block the entrance to the student union building
>Trying to get in, they let you in if you can name even one thing more important or that matters to you more than feminism and women's rights
>Basically that means they're letting no one in
>I try to get in and they ask me the same question, if I can name one thing
>Without missing a beat, tell them I can name three
>Hustle
>Loyalty
>Respect
>Tell them they can't see me
>Go around to the back entrance to get in

>>1834389
kek

>>1834855
>he can't do the waterspit
I pity you anon

>>1834905
That actually sounds cool

>>1834456
everytime I try to do this I hurt my leg :/

>>1836932
kek

>work at burger king
>one day two guys in mcdonalds uniforms come in
>start acting like assholes that run the place because they know the customer is always right
>after causing enough of a ruckus the manager and a few other guys go to ask them to leave
>they say they'll leave when their other friend catches up with them
>everyone's clearly fed up with each other
>they start trying to pick a fight
>run over there
>give my manager an atomic leg drop

>>1837150
>>give my manager an atomic leg drop

Heel turn?

>>1834902
>What are ellipsis

>>1836765
had potential blew it in the end

>>1834209
>badass
you literally look like a geek everytime. I know I've seen you.

>>1836979
haha poo poo : D

>>1836932
>pair them in teams of two for today's assignment
cancer

>Play SHEBD theme going down any flight of stairs

>>1837150
BY GAWD HE'S THE THIRD MAN

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ITT: autism

>>1834209
think i did Cena´s you cant see me hand move on Toto gig to see if they´d do something cool like say stuff on the mic about noticing me or wwe. In reality they didnt see it and wouldnt care coz theyre just in the city to collect some peasant money and dont care about their audience. Also having fun isnt music related anymore

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>>1836932
MAXIMUM KEK

>>1836932

>odd kid out gets paired with the Undatakah

>>1834209
holy fucking shit man please have sex

>>1836932
Based

>>1837981
>disagree with someone´s opinion
>please kind sir you should be creating a baby
this is more insulting towards you since by saying this you let everyone know who´s the real idiot in the house

>>1834389
kek

I superkick anyone in sight.

>>1838200
> tfw was about to make a manlet kicking people in the knees joke but they have been forever tainted by the 12 year old spic

>This thread

They really don't call you aspies for nothing

>>1834389
Toppest of keks

>>1834389
My sides senpai

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>be my boyfriend
>enter the room in a bathrobe doing a Bobby Roode impression while "Glorious" starts playing from his phone

Tfw I'm not the most autistic in this couple

>>1838418
Did you let him fuck you in your boypucci while wearing the robe and Glorious played?

>>1837986
You can have sex without making children you dumbass.

>>1838277
You're more autistic if you can't comprehend sarcasm

>Badass things you do irl based on wrestling
*autistic

>sometimes look behind me and smile while sticking my tongue if someone is behind me
>really intimidates them
They're not intimidated, just really freaked out about how autistic you look as a 300 Ib neckbeard's fedora jumps in the air with his cargo shorts as he blissfully jumps onto the crosswalk and sticks out his dorito-stained tongue at them

god you need medicine

>>1838523
Get fucking worked lmao

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>>1838528

>>1838533
Worked like a child mark with minimal effort kek

>>1838533
worked

>>1838536
>>1838539
You wouldn't know the definition of worked because you're cashing in welfare checks out of your mom's basement.

>>1834550
I unironically do this.
I also do the Scott Hall tootpick throw at people.(Usually friends that watch wrestling or coworkers that I hate)

>>1838432
Hot

>>1838542
worked

>>1838523
>dorito-stained tongue

My sides.

>>1838443
Yea if you one of them queers lol

>>1838781
lol based
BTFO

>>1835142
Me too

It actually feels good, sometimes when I'm alone in the house I do Del Rio's kicks to the air and slap my leg at the same time, then I do the thing he does with his finger

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>>1834389
Top kek

>>1836932
KEK

I've started referring to people as stupid idiots casually

I do the Vince strut sometimes

>Everytime I go to a pub I walk in with my arms outstretched, hood up, looking down
>suddenly stop, crouch and throw hood back
>stick arms out again, then put hands together above my head
>Strut down to the bar

>>1839578
Let me guess the girls don't want none.

>>1838861
Me too, but I gotta admit that "you stupid idiot" has a nice ring to it

>>1834591
Made me kek, thank you anon.

>>1834209
Eat uncontrollably like my idol Kevin Steen

>me standing at 7ft tall. 275lbs.
>have a certain cut of muscle and pose that fits my body
>go to shows and meetups and stand toe to toe with big show and other stars that claim to be +6'5"+
>I cant even draw a dime

>>1835214
Are you me? (Except the wrestling part)

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>>1836866
Based

>>1834209
When I'm only guy left alive on my team in CS:GO games I tell my team all they have to do is bolieve, it's all they have to do.

It makes sense because my name is a Bo Dallas meme.

Put em on the list

>>1839659
>only needing the three cards

what the fuck dude that's ez pz

>Get done in the gym
>Literally do The Vince McMahon Walk as i walk out the gym

>>1834884
It's okay, anon, he can't read very well and is trying to feel better about himself.

>>1840183
You probably give the impression you're one of those guys who don't know how to use machines properly.

>>1836851
CM Punk "box with God" promo

>>1837150
Kek

>>1838861
>tfw you said stupid idiot before you heard it on wwe
>now everyone will think you're a retarded wrasslin fan when you say it

>>1837150
THIS IS THE NEW WORLD ORGANIZATION OF BURGERS BROTHER

>>1838542
Absolutely worked

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>>1839588
No.

>>1834407
I do this whenever I get a strike while bowling

>>1834588
Did you do a math promo after that?

>superkick the door to close it
>grab pillow and do wrath of the gods on to the bed
>do sheamus's "FELLA" taunt when yawning+stretching
>sometimes do AJ's entrance taunt when I walk into the room with my hoodie on

I dont really do them most of the time though, tbqh

>>1839647
How tall are your parents?

>>1834252
i'm doing this next time i take the wife out to dinner

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>>1834389
jej

>>1835187
>>where his shirts, hat, cargo pants and sweatbands

i give up, where?

I've got a good number of my friends to give me "too sweet"s. And once I was on my way home absolutely shitfaced and insisted everyone on the bus give me one

>>1834905
book it
post on jewtube
make $ son

>>1842030
Nigga do you not realize how old that shit is? It's been on YouTube for close to 10 years.

>Player fighting with group of kids
>See kid who's vulnerable, doesn’t see me
>Start doing Edge's thing where he slicks his hair and makes a crazy face before crouching and doing his wake up taunt
>Wanted it to connect like Goldberg on Nunzio
Hit him right in the gut
>He didn't sell the impact correctly and I faceplanted somehow
>Both of us on the ground, my nose bleeding, him clutching his stomach and heaving

That was the day I realized it was fake.

>>1834583
I used to listen to it when I was out delivering papers in the morning..

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>>1838523
Fucking kek.
>dorito stained tongue

>>1836765
>>1837173
I liked it desu

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>>1834591

>>1834252
Kek'd

>>1838418
Did you fuck him in his boypucci while They don't want none played?

>>1838533
he is pretending to be retard you fucking actual retard.

it's sarcasm

>>1838533
Imagine being so fucking retarded--and I mean clinically, braindamaged, legitimately fucking retarded--that you get worked by the most painfully-obvious work in the history of works. I bet you thought Phil's "pipebomb" was a shoot, you fucking autistic embarrassment.

>>1838533
>Working yourself into a shoot

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>>1834389

>>1838533
Gain height.

>>1837150
>"ass gawd as mah witness, he's broken in haff!!"