Opening a McDojo

>>1772109
Whats ya height?

>>1772121
What does that have to do with anything?

Is there any chance of getting exposed if I do this? I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

I could probably teach Mc Dojo better than real fat old guys who do it. I'm thinking maybe one day in the future one of my student might fight in MMA and give me credit.

Also, what happens if I pose as a black belt? Can there be any consequences? It is just a belt isn't it?

>>1772149
You can get sued for deceptive business practices.

>>1772161
Yeah...

But couldn't anyone?

Karate and taekwondo people say they teach self-defence, but I did some boxing and when karate people are doing their dancing they constantly keep a hand on their belt. No guard what so ever. So if I just teach them some regular old boxing basics they're still ahead of most schools.

I'm thinking of giving it it's own name. Like "Unarmed Combat Taekwondo". So that I could point out that they learn some wrestling and boxing, while the others learn just kicking, because we're doing real taekwondo.

Isn't it a good idea? I feel smug for comming up with that one.

>>1772171
You're not the first person to come up with the idea of lying. You'll get sued by either the person you take out a loan from or your customers.

Good luck, keep us updated on your plan you won't follow through on.

>>1772177
I don't think so.

I do a service, there are no other martial arts facility without an hour of driving here.

How bad do you have to be to get sued? There are fat old women with black belts out there. I feel confident that I can do better than this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dkoLC8Xq-4

She is a black belt and so am I

>>1772171

If you get a customer, which I doubt since you will be stationed in your parents garage. You will need to convince them of your credentials, but in the days of the internet where someone can just look you up, you will be outted. But worse comes to worse some actual black belt decides to out you. Kind of like what happened to OPs pic.

File: uten navn.png (2MB, 1200x919px)

2MB, 1200x919px

>>1772195
Well... if I call it taekowndo it wouldn't really be much to out.

I did boxing for a year, some wrestling in high School, taekwondo for a year, karate as a kid and I have currently done a lot of grappling on my dummies. So my "taekwondo" would look like MMA which is more effective, while their style looks like Olympic taekwondo. I would much rather take that fight.

>>1772109

oh youre planning on being a bb in TKD. I got you. You're right I doubt a tkd would or even can out you. But you would need to get your social media together in order to pull it off.

>>1772252
I know, but I feel you're on the verge of giving me advice. If that is the case, please do. You can be my partner in crime.

>>1772109
I just made a thread about this on a martial arts forum, pretending I had allready started out teaching people, people are flipping out!

>>1772277

Well first thing is first you need to set up your social media to look like youre well trained. FB, instagram, all the works. The key here is don't say your a bb or your friends will out you. Just say you train. If you plan on making a website for the """business"""" dont advertise it as learning from a bb, but but it under your bio. I think this is hilarious if you plan on going through with it.

>>1772411
Im not a black belt. I am a goldbelt trained in khmer karate, a rare martial art that almost went extinct during the Cambodia bloodbath.

I bought some belts on wholesale. They were cheaper because they have a black stripe. That is because we're so good that just learning this makes you part black belt.

If there is no martial arts within an hour, why don't you test out as a CTC for Gracie academy and become a legit mcdojo. Seems easier than trying to make up all that bullshit.

Clan that you teach a rare style of Korean wrestling. Give it a fanfiction.net tier back story and make sure you also mention it MIGHT be an original source of jjj, thus one of the origins of bjj

>>1772190
...so is this a board break test in which no boards are actually broken. The first few kids seem to be setting the theme.

Of course, boards don't fight back.

>>1772109
You need to learn more, not just the basic stuff

>>1772161
no you can't

a black belt isn't like a college degree which gets accredited and has legal repercussions.

it's meaningless, and there is nothing saying you can't just award one to yourself

>>1772984
Yes and no.
In order to compete in the Olympics, you must have a bb that is recognized by a sanctioning body like ijf, kodokan, USA Judo (or your country equivalent).
If you aren't competing in tournaments, then you are correct, you only need the belt, and not the paperwork.

>>1772851
Nah

Ive seen black belts punch with a clenched fist on their belt. black belts who wins tournaments in kata. The vid i posted was just one of many that makes me roll my eyes thinking i can do better, there are hundreds of more if i bother to find them. Thesr kids are gonna be good. I'll teach them stuff from youtube and say it is an old khmer karate technique.

>>1774102
When it gets that far i will arrange something so that the ones who want it can compete.

>>1772171
You need partners or soon people will wonder why you're the only teacher of this art and why are there no advanced students in the world.
Also someone will ask you about its history.

>>1772607
What credentials made you obtain this belt? What did they made you do in your training? How can I find the master who trained you?

>>1772712
>original source of jjj, thus one of the origins of bjj
>student googles bjj and finds out you're bullshitting

File: Fake-BJJ-black-belt-pic.jpg (160KB, 500x429px) Image search: [Google]

160KB, 500x429px

>>1772109
You should be fine. There is no regulations. Many martial arts schools got away with it for decades by teaching all that fancy useless movements, and their secret death punch which nobody ever witnessed in real life. They only got exposed once MMA entered the picture. Many "masters" got their asses handed to them. They tried to save face with.... "my shit is too deadly to be used in a sport fight"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOQcJ63vkFE

here is a drunken master getting his ass kicked by a serious fighter. Not even mma, just plain old karate.

So, good luck with you endevour.

>>1774482
Friend, there are people who still believe in the samurang story.

>>1774476
Well the art was actually well known in Cambodia before the civil war. The sad truth is that it is very much recovering, you have khmer boxing and bokator who are both very legit atempts at reviving the art. We call it khmer karate, but it is very similar, just taught by another master who survived the war. Its not very well known, but you can find documentaries about the history on youtube.

It has been called khmer karate as it is similar to japanese styles like jiu-jitsu and some people believe it is the source for it, as it predates the style, wich would also make it the predecessor to bjj. But that is very much a theory, i dont believe it, the style is very effective and close to mma, it has got grappling like bjj so it is very good. It is probably the best base for mma, extreme effective. Its not bjj, it has the grappling, but also punches and kicking so it is truly great. Some say it is the origins of bjj and that bjj is a watered down version for sport. All i can say is that the martial art has kicking, punching, wrestling and submissions. It is great.

>>1774914
>very good.
>the best base
>truly great
>It is great.

t. Donald Trump

>>1772136
>manlet detected

You guys should have seen the thread i made on a forum about this. It got out of hand pretty fast.

>>1775227
It's honestly interesting thinking about creating a fake martial art

>>1775680
We should have a mcdojo general after we build up interest in mag threads. It is the bait of martial arts

Teach them how to do a Rock Bottom.

>>1777335
10/10 would love this

tfw I open an Irish Martial Arts McDojo

>You mean bareknuckle boxing and collar+Eblow Anon?
>lolno, that'd be legit, instead make some shit up
>Inb4 dojo full of Sinn Feiner RA heads.

pmub

>>1772171
Register for a boxing coach license. Anyone can do it, then tell your customers that you can teach a little extra on the side

>>1772109

As a person who once belonged to an actual Shorin-Ryu school, and has gotten to 8th Dan (which isn't easy, since the system heads over in Okinawa don't like promoting foreigners to such high ranks,) I wanted to let you know that we fucking hate you type of people. The rise of the McDojo was the death of respect for actual martial arts. Either people mock all Martial Arts schools because they think everything is a McDojo, or people looking to join Martial Arts end up enrolling in one for useless ass lessons in "self-defense."

(For those wondering, I left due to conflicts with my work, since I became a teacher and don't have time to attend. My father, who is retired, still attends and teaches, and my brother does too.)

>>1772136
Gain height

>>1778998
How much does it take to "level up" exactly in shorin-ryu?

>>1778998
Yeah. But bjj would kill you. Then you would see that your belt is the same as the one i bought on ebay. You just got cucked for it. The japanese guy promoting you was probably a bullshit artist like myself.

>>1779123
Bump, I'm actually curious

>>1779099
Shut up. Im a gold belt in khmer karate, a predecessor of jjj and bjj, that is the highest rank possible to get. What have you ever accomplished?

>>1772109
>Please ask me anything

Will you say it "Doe-Joe", or "Doy-Oh"?

I love this idea OP
Make it based around an animal, like one of those shitty movie kung-fus.

>>1772149
you could have real ass mfers come to your door, beat you down in front of all your students, post it online.

>>1772109
bumping just to get old /asp/ back

>>1772109
Call it American Combat Karate-ryu ha. That will make all the money come in.

>>1784147
Other McDojos don't have them, it's not something that happens since the perpetrator will only look like a bully who encourages violence, and people could think that the guy who lost did so because of "cheating", also the teacher would either not accept the fight or demand his own rules.

>>1783862
I will make up my own pronounciation so that i can assert dominance by correcting people. "Well, actually it is pronounces doh-jooh, can you say that?"

>>1784147
I often tell the story about the bjj brown belt who came with his buddy challenging me to a roll when his buddy was filming. He did sport bjj. I warned him "this is khmer karate" i said. He kept on saying "i just wanna roll" so i said okay "first thing he did wad to put his hans wrong, he ate an elbow to the temple headbutt to his nose and jaw. He didnt know how to defend. He emedietly suurendered, when he got up he walked like a drunk man, bleeding from his nose. I made sure he was okay. I dont know what else he expected to happen. I told him that this was khmer karate, its not like a sports tournament. Needless to say i have declined challenges since that, because they never learn. It is a totally different game when you must defend for everything. Bjj us just one skill, it is for sport. This is real martial art! The brutal origins of ninjutsu and jujitsu.

File: Bragi.jpg (18KB, 168x256px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 168x256px

>>1784775
>The brutal origins of ninjutsu
Perfect

You should probably just kill yourself

>>1784824
I know right. Thr children call me sensei and bow before they talk to me. I cant believe im getting away with this. And this is normal for martial art.

>>1772109

OP. Did you ever go through with it?

>>1787502
I have stuff arriving in my mail daily, gloves bags etc. Got some used matts for ma and wrestling for cheap on amazon and ebay. I am working on setting up something with the insurance company for my future studenys/worshippers.

>>1787502
My latest purchase is wholesale belts, I found some real cheap ones With a black stripe running down the middle. I think I will just tell them we have one because our martial art is so effective that we are almost blackbelts for just learning it. But I have a goldbelt, so even if they get black belt I will still outrank them.

Feels damn good to be a master of something!

>>1772136
It's an annoying fuck with multiple IPs trying to force his shit memes in every thread and board

>>1778998
Topkek

How does it feel to know that my mcdojo can promote you to the same degree with no such cuckolding. My students will soon outrank you and outfight you, because they will learn proper wrestling, that i can tell you. They will learn all the basic common boxing punches. They will learn kicks and shit ftom karate and taekwondo. I will also go online to learn proper elbows and knees, learn some usefull and easy bjj drills.

These lucky children will be a better fighter than you ever was. No kata dancing bullshit. And no expensive belt promotion bullshit.

McDojo is love
McDojo is life

>>1787657
Hey OP,
I love your idea, and have been watching the thread.

I suggest you actually learn some shit from a trainer, and practice what you'll pretend to teach on a mate so you can figure it out before you embarrass yourself in front of an 8 year old.

Also, don't say that shit about you being "nearly a black belt" because even normies will flag that. Say that a stripe is the lowest rank in each color or something, so they pay more to stay longer to pass these "ranks"

OP, maybe we could do business together?

>>1789327
McDojoish instructor here, you can embarrass yourself in front of 8 years olds as much as you want, just make it look like you remembered it wrong or that you got confused with something else
Practicing beforehand will be useful though for all those things that you might fuck-up

>>1789339
Yeah, but when he goes to actually do it and freezes, edgy teens would be like "Heh, that isn't how Naruto would do it!" and leave. Gossip spreads.

>>1772109
You're gonna get found out.
Maybe not in the way you think, but if you have little experience then you're obviously going to be a shit instructor.

>>1789344
Just do like me. Do mma for five years, move away, start your own gym and say you do protaekwondo. I am highly respected, never did a single belt exam. Taekwondo cant say anything, for everyone likes what i teach and they wont fight mma guy. Self promoted 5th dan.

>>1789681
Honestly this, teaching is by itself something you have to learn, no experience means being a very shit teacher

Where do you live, OP? I have an old Asian guy who you can pose next to for a photo to say that you learned from him.

>>1774985
Donald Trump is the best at talking a lot yet saying nothing, so if it sounds like trump it's probably a perfect line of bullshit.

>>1789842
>

BUMP I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!

I recommend everyone that wants a black belt to make a McDojo to do MMA for five-six years, then just move away and promote yourself to a supreme master black belt of some bullshit art.

I did my studies abroad in Australia and did MMA for five years. Then I came back and started a combat taekwondo McDojo. I am a highly respected taekwondo master in the taekwondo community. In fact, people often refer to my school when People say taekwondo is shit and gets beat up by BJJ.

We don't even wear taekwondo uniforms, we wear judo gi and rash guard. I have a hard time keeping a straight face when I tell them stuff like:

"This is REAL taekwondo!"

"We don't do the patterns, because I did the patterns and learned the secrets! Everything I teach you is comes from the patterns!"

"Taekwondo, before it got commercialized, was the original MMA"

Just learn MMA for a while, you will get a skill that is better than most martial arts, so you can pretend to be a blackbelt in said martial art, because no one in that art can oppose you.

And you wanna know what is best? I never did a single belt exam, and I am among the most respected martial arts teachers in my area. People call me master and tell tales about me.

This is my McDojo, I even put the flag up wrong.

I can't believe the shit I get away with.

I love being a black belt master in "protaekwondo"

What are the taekwondo people gonna do? They don't even know how to guard or BJJ.

>>1791581

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBJVjIBSiqU

Taekwondo btfo

>>1789805
I'm allready ahead of you. I got the idea of Khmer Karate when visiting Cambodia. I have a picture of me next to one of the locals. I tell them he is the master that taught me. Perhaps I'll have them bow to the picture before each lesson. Just for the lulz.

>>1787788
>Manlet detector off the charts.

>>1792060
I have a black belt, fifth dan. I teach people how to fight. I am a respected mrmber of my community.