/phil/ - Phil Brooks General

If anyone has collected all the parodies of 'Cult of Personality' that gets posted around here, please post them. They are fun

>>1767350
Bump, we need the /phil/ to exist. I need it, my sides demands it.

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GOAT

>Hypocrite
>Whiner
>Coward
>Manlet
>Doesn't lift
>Has been training the last five years to get a pink belt in Gracie Jiu Jitsu from Eve Torres. Not going well
>Emo geek
>Entitled brat
>Malnourished, looks like a poster child for starving kids
>Reads comic books
>Liberal cuck
>Pathetic quitter
>Most boring guy in any room at any time
>Arrested for impersonating a MMA fighter
>Hissy fit enthusiast
>Everyone laughs when he tries to look tough
>Meat-fearer
>Booze-dodger
>Pudding belly
>Straight edge weakling
>Runs in the opposite direction like a terrified screaming girl at the mere sight of a burger
>All his matches are sloppy and riddled with botches
>Ultra-sensitive
>Tumblr feminist
>Worst physique in wrestling since Mick "Ten Burgers" Foley
>Sk8er boi
>Likes hockey
>Doesn't like to party
>Zero coordination
>Prefers Pepsi to Budweiser
>30 minute boring promos sent the audience to sleep
>Still watches The Walking Dead
>Never drew a penny
>Tragic gluten-free diet
>Potty mouth
>Brittle bones
>Failed to take the advice from the great Kevin Nash
>Hasn't taken a shower
>Hasn't hit the weights
>Hasn't got a clue
>My Chemical Romance fan
>Wrote the foreword for a vegan cookbook
>Awful tattoos
>Desperate to be edgy. Fails miserably
>Drones on about being an atheist. Nobody cares
>Thinks using Cult Of Personality for his theme is cool. It isn't
>GTS stolen from KENTA
>Ananconda Vice stolen from Tenzan
>Adored by beta morons
>Calling that overrated and carefully scripted promo a "pipebomb" represents a new level of cringe
>Cried about Lesnar
>Cried about The Rock
>Cried about HHH
>Cried about Vince
>Cried about The Big Guy (for you!) Ryback
>Cried about the doctors
>Cried about not being in a WrestleMania main event
>Is the only person who sees talent in his boyfriend Colt Cabana
>Performs worst top rope elbow drop in history
>Booked as WWE champion for over year, made million of dollars - all he did was complain
>Most laughable "fighter" in UFC history

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>>1768250

>>1768272
>WM Main Events - 0

>>1768272
>promoushions

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STRAIGHT EDGE

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>>1768290

>>1768281
Ya. Google the word and the first pic you see is Punk. Coincidence? I don't think so.

>>1768290
He's doing meth tho'.

>>1768275
>first time in the ufc
>by far the biggest attraction on the card
How is the UFC not a joke?

>>1767350
I'm basically the exact same height and build as Phil so all this hate recently has been sorta motivating me to take a shower and hit the weights. Anyone else?