The Pasta

>>1460268
>ur a faget

Did I help?

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>Liar
>Hypocrite
>Whiner
>Coward
>Manlet
>Doesn't lift
>Emo geek
>Entitled brat
>Reads comic books
>Liberal cuck
>Pathetic quitter
>Most boring guy in any room at any time
>Hissy fit enthusiast
>Meat-fearer
>Booze-dodger
>Pudding belly
>Straight edge weakling
>Runs in the opposite direction like a terrified screaming girl at the mere sight of a burger
>All his matches are sloppy and riddled with botches
>Ultra-sensitive
>Tumblr feminist
>Worst physique in wrestling since Mick "Ten Burgers" Foley
>Sk8er boi
>Doesn't like to party
>Prefers Pepsi to Budweiser
>30 minute boring promos sent the audience to sleep
>Never drew a penny
>Failed to take the advice from the great Kevin Nash
>Hasn't taken a shower
>Hasn't hit the weights
>Hasn't got a clue
>My Chemical Romance fan
>Wrote the foreword for a vegan cookbook
>Desperate to be edgy. Fails miserably
>Drones on about being an atheist. Nobody cares
>Thinks using Cult Of Personality for this theme is cool. It isn't
>GTS stolen from KENTA
>Ananconda Vice stolen from Tenzan
>Adored by beta morons
>Calling that overrated and carefully scripted promo a "pipebomb" represents a new level of cringe
>Cried about Lesnar
>Cried about The Rock
>Cried about HHH
>Cried about Vince
>Cried about The Big Guy (for you!) Ryback
>Cried about the doctors
>Cried about not being in a WrestleMania main event
>Is the only person who sees talent in his boyfriend Colt Cabana
>Performs worst top rope elbow drop in history
>Booked as WWE champion for over year, made million of dollars - all he did was complain
>Most laughable "fighter" in UFC history

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>>1460275
>GOAT
>Rich as fuck
>Famous
>6'2
>Big dick
>Fucked Lita, Kelly Kelly, Beth Phoenix, Daffney, Maria Kanellis, Traci Brooks
>Married AJ Lee
>Two 5 star matches
>Is straight-edge; completely toxic free
>Got out of wrestling before he destroyed his body
>Didn't take WWE's shit
>Anti-smarks still obsessed with him years after he left
>Exposed HHH
>Exposed Ryback
>Exposed The Rock
>Exposed Roman Reigns
>Exposed Vince
>Exposed Dr. Amann
>Exposed Chris Jericho
>Most important indy wrestler of all time
>Was the absolute greatest on the mic
>Brought wrestling back to the mainstream and made it cool again
>Outsold John Cena in merchandise
>Was the first to endorse Antonio Cesaro and Seth Rollins before they even got to the main roster
>Was able to elevate himself from a heatless directionless midcarder to red hot main event status in just 6 minutes
>Was universally over with everyone
>Was the best part about the show anytime he was on
>Had the best theme songs in wrestling history
>Amazing technician
>Most entertaining guy in any room at any time
>Cool as fuck
>Hot as fuck
>Had the best match with Brock Lesnar since his return
>Had one of the best streak matches with Undertaker
>Had the best match with John Cena in his entire career and also his greatest rival
>Is the reason people finally started to say no to WWE's bullshit
>Is the reason based DBry had his WrestleMania moment
>Is considered one of the greatest of all time by Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bret Hart and Mick Foley
>Is best friends with Paul Heyman
>Proven draw anytime WWE gave him a chance
>Destroyed The Rock on the mic
>Not a single bad promo in his entire career
>Buried Ryback
>Was brave enough to jump ship to UFC
>Will go down in history as one of the greatest of all time

Anybody have that pasta with that guy who said that Nakamura's entrance put him into a drug-enduced state?

>>1460282

It's true.
I've been to all kinds of wrestling shows over the years, from local outlaw mudshows all the way up to Wrestlemania.
Never in my life have I felt an energy in the building like I did when Nakamura walked out at the NXT show. It was next level shit, like a mild psychotropic drug induced state. The guy had complete unfettered control of the crowd the entire time, like some weird spazzy pro wrestling pied piper. It was amazing.
You just have to experience it for yourself in person, I cannot do it justice with words.

http://archive.is/tzV82

>>1460321
This is the most autistic copypasta and the funniest because the guy who made it was actually serious

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abandoned_child_syndrome
http://www.couplescounselingchicago.net/7-signs-you-have-abandonment-issues-you-cant-ignore/
http://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/abandonment
http://www.abandonment.net/abandonment-frequently-asked-questions
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-many-faces-addiction/201006/understanding-the-pain-abandonment
http://psychologia.co/abandonment-issues/
https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/2014/03/abandonment-issues

> KO is fat
> what did cm phil mean by this
> ryborgholdingcmpunk.png
> how can someone like sasha
> hi phil
> why is xxx cuck

Does anyone have the Joe Rogen copypasta that circulats on each board? That is the GOAT

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>Failed university
>Cried at Unstoppable
>Cried at Brooklyn
>Cried at the Rumble
>Cried about her head injury
>Cried about Finn Balor
>Failed actress
>Has no soul
>Irish
>Fat, slow womanlet
>Weak
>Doesn't lift
>Flat all over
>Shit hair
>Derpy eyes
>Oompa loompa skin
>Can't talk properly
>Has brain damage
>Drugged out whore
>Deaf
>Feminist
>Jobber to the stars, never done anything impressive
>Was part of the worst storyline in WWE history
>Will never draw a penny
>Sloppy, botched in her first Wrestlemania match
>Worst suplexes of all time
>Worst armbar of all time
>Cucked by Bayley
>Cucked by Albert
>Autistic social retard
>Everything about her is cringe inducing
>Dates manlets, the only men pathetic enough to give her attention
>Irrelevant and liked only by beta virgins
>Will be forgotten in 5 years
>Will always be B+ to Sasha's A+

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>Hypocrit
>Whiner
>Coward
>Manlet
>Doesn't stop using HGH
>Pregnant
>Entitled brat
>Can't read
>Bald
>Pathetic quitter
>Most boring guy in any room at any time
>Hissy fit enthusiast
>Roid Man
>Test dodger
>HGH Belly
>Dangerous Worker
>Slaps his head to beat the demons out, just like Benoit
>All his matches are sloppy and riddled with botches
>Ultra-sensitive
>Tumblr feminist
>His belly is ready to pop at any second
>Faggot
>Likes traps
>Doesn't like women
>Zero coordination
>Prefers Roids to Breakfast
>HGH drips out of his mouth on every promo
>RVD Ripoff
>Never drew a penny
>Tragic non-steroid diet
>Potty mouth
>Brittle meat
>Failed to take the advice from the great CM Punk
>Hasn't taken a shower
>Hasn't hit the hospital for a checkup
>Hasn't got a clue
>My Chemical Hormone fan
>Wrote...he can't. Illiterate
>Desperate to be edgy. Fails miserably
>Drones on about being big, no one cares
>Thinks ripping off Goldberg is cool, it is not
>Mr. I steal moves
>HGH stolen from Arnold
>Adored by beta morons
>Jobs more than Ziggler
>Cried about Punk
>Cried about his little pecker
>Cried about Titus blacking him
>Cried about Vince
>Cried about his HGH dosage not being enough
>Cried about the doctors
>Cried about his salary
>Is the only person who sees talent in his jobbing
>Performs worst move set
>Booked as a monster and now losing to illegal immigrants on the daily
>Most laughable failure in WWE history

>>1460335
These are memes. They are not copypasta.

>>1460321
Wait this wasn't an ironic post?

>>1460450
no. he posted it in a nakamura thread.

>>1460443
Yeah yeah, the pasta is full sperg

I saw Roman Reigns at a pharmacy in Tampa yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “I'm not a good guy, I'm not a bad guy, I'm THE guy!" I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “BULEEB DAT!” and cocking his fist in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen bottles of HGH pills in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he screamed at her "I CAN. I WILL.", but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bottles and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and yelled "SUFFERIN' SUCCOTASH, BABY GRLLL!" and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bottle and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by roaring really loudly.

>>1460591
I think I saw this here a few months back.

Also bump becuase this thread is getting buried by a bunch of CM Cuck threads

Isnt there a Finn pasta?

Anyone got the "life values. What are yours?" pasta?

Lana buying Gas X pasta

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>>1460591

This was actually funny

>>1463250

not a wrestler but I saw Lana at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told her how cool it was to meet her in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother her and ask her for photos or anything.

She said, “O, кaк вы дeлaeтe ceйчac?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but she kept cutting me off and going “NEMANYA! NEMANYA! NEMANYA!” and closing her hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard her fart as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw her trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Gas-X boxes in her hands without paying.

The guy at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Mam, you need to pay for those first.” At first she kept pretending to to be Russian and not understand him, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When he took one of the Gas-X and started scanning it multiple times, she stopped him and told him to scan them each individually “to prevent currency conversion infetterence,” and then turned around and farted on me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After he scanned each Gas-X box and put them in a bag and started to say the price, she kept interrupting him by farting really loudly.

>>1463234
Life Values. What are Yours?
Many years ago in the beginning of my journey of self improvement I came along what I would call a golden nugget. A golden nugget is a piece of information in a book that I would retain and apply to my life. With every book I read or listen to if I just get one golden nugget the book was well worth my time. Even if you just read one book a year and got one golden nugget a year just think how that could positively affect your life if applied.
So this golden nugget I speak of came from a great Tony Robbins book called Unlimited Power. He spoke about something called Life Values. Essentially it is making a list or vision board of why we live our lives. Why do we wake up each and everyday and do what we do? Well if we have our life values in order we do the things we do to enhance our lives for ourselves and those around us. Many people have no clue why they do what they do and in that mindset you greatly increase your chances for making bad decisions or doing things that may not always be in your best interest. I write this to challenge you to sit down and write out your top 5 Life Values and than look at what you are doing and how you can improve the things in your life to line up accordingly with your 5 Life Values. They should rank with 1 being your absolute number 1 reason for living and go from there. So for example my number 1 Life Value is health because I cannot live the life I want to live without my health. The following list is my top 5 Life Values and why I do what I do in my life and I will briefly explain it to help you further understand.
1. Health
2. Happiness
3. Love
4. Money
5. Power
>cont'd

>>1463279
So as I explained above I can’t live the life I want to live without good health. Following health is happiness. What is the point of living an unhappy life? What we do should make us happy, the people around us should make us happy and the places we choose to go should make up happy. I don’t know about everyone else, but I don’t wake up to be miserable! Coming in at number 3 for me is Love. Love of oneself, family and friends. Love is the greatest most powerful form of energy in the universe I believe and for me you can have all the wealth and possessions in the world, but if you lack health, happiness and love what is the point? Number 4 for me is money because I truly believe we are meant to have whatever we want in life if we are willing to work for it and believe in it. The world we live in is built around money and it allows us to do and have the things we want. It helps us in emergencies and can help give our families better security. Number 5 for me is Power and when I say power it is power for good. To be able to influence people and the world you need a sense of power to spread your message and help add value to people’s lives. For me and what I am doing with my life money and power play an important role thus their positioning in my Life Values. I hope this has helped you and I look forward to hearing your Life Values, so go out and buy a vision board and write down your Life Values and start getting closer to your goals! #FeedMeMore

Keff, [11.07.16 12:33]
FUCK OFF WITH THIS STUPID GO DAMN FUCKING MEME YOU CUNT

EVERY GOD DAMN DAY WHEN I POST HERE IS SEE YOU, YOUR IDIOTIC POSTS, THE HALFWAY ABORTED COLONOSCOPY OF AN ATTEMPT AT HUMOR. EVERY SINGLE THREAD. EVERY SINGLE WEEK. EVERY SINGLE DAY. EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN FUCKING DAY WITH THIS GOD DAMN MEME GARBAGE.

IM GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU NEED TO GO DO RIGHT NOW. YOU FUCKING LISTENING SHORTSTACK? BECAUSE IM ABOUT TO INTRODUCE YOU TO WHAT I'D LIKE TO CALL "PROTOCOL: FUCK YOUR ASS", OKAY LISTEN BITCHBOY AND LISTEN THE FUCK GOOD BECAUSE IM ONLY GOING TO SAY THIS ONCE, COCKGOBBLER. YOU GOTTA GO OUTSIDE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, WIPE THE CUM CRUST OFF OF YOUR SHORTS, SHAVE UP, BUCKO, ITS REALITY TIME. GO TO YOUR LOCAL TOYS R' FUCKIN US OH WAIT YOU PROBABLY ARENT ALLOWED AFTER FIST FUCKING ALL OF THE ANIMAL DOLLS WITH YOUR LIMP DICK. NEVERMIND THAT SHIT MEME QUEEN, GO OVER TO A WAL-MART NEAR YOU, HOPEFULLY ONE YOU'RE NOT BLACKLISTED ON BECAUSE YOU FAILED TO MEET THEIR DISGUSTINGLY LOW STANDARDS, I MEAN IM PRAYING FOR YOU BUT IT AINT GONNA HELP. GO TO THE AISLE WHERE THEY HAVE THE FUCKING SILVERWARE, GRAB A SPOON, PLANT THAT SHIT ON A CRACK OUTSIDE ON THE SIDEWALK LIKE YOU WERE SUCTION CUPPING THAT "FUCK ME BUM UP ANNIHILATOR 30K' THAT YOU USE TO TICKLE YOUR USED AND ABUSED SORRY SHIT EXCUSE FOR A PROSTATE, AND JUST GOD DAMN FALL RIGHT ON TOP OF IT, DICK FIRST, I CALL IT THE SEINFELD SPECIAL BECAUSE AFTER YOU'RE DONE YOU'RE GOING TO BE WISHING FOR THE WAR ON TERROR TO KILL COMEDY, BECAUSE EVERY FUCKING BODY TO EVER LIVE IS GOING TO COMPLIMENT YOU ON YOUR FRESH JEW-CURVE YOU FUCKING PISSANT

I WANT TO GO TO YOUR HOUSE. I WANT TO DESTROY YOU. I WANT TO BREAK YOUR FURNITURE AND YOUR PERSONAL POSSESSIONS, I WANT TO SPIT ON YOUR FUCKING DOG. I WILL SPIT ON YOUR FUCKING DOG, ASSHOLE. AND WHEN YOUR DOG LOOKS AT ME AND ASKS "bark" IM GOING TO ASSFUCK IT.

I WILL BURN YOU. I WILL ANNIHILATE YOU. I WILL END YOU. I WILL FUCK YOUR DOG.

>>1466852
> no > Favourite wrestling body pasta
Fuck all you newfags

Someone post the > listen up wresslefags one

>>1466871
Dont know why i replied

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>Genuine
>Legit
>Appreciative of all support
>Brave
>6'3"
>ZACKED
>Alpha broski
>Has earned everything he's gotten
>Got himself over without any help
>Cares only about WWE and its fans
>Fights through the low times for the highs
>Electrifies the audience after being off TV for a year
>Is paid millions a year just to not shoot on WWE
>Eats five pounds of meat daily
>WOO WOO WOO
>Can outdrink Mojo Rawley any weekend
>Muscles rivaled only by his own father
>Fucks any woman on the roster for fun
>Trashes ex-gf hoeski with a hit single earning him millions more
>Has the undisputed best looking missile dropkick
>Emma gets wet seeing his toy collection
>Undefeated against cancer
>Physique that makes Kevin Owens cry to sleep every night
>Made broskis popular six months before Jersey Shore ever aired
>Saved the 4th of July
>Drinks beer and gets a girl he likes
>Audience is drawn to him everytime he speaks
>Is a literal phenomenon, biggest since Stone Cold
>First and longest reigning Internet Champion
>His ZR merch is constantly sold out
>New wrestlers take inspiration from him
>No wrestler has ever hated him
>Dwayne "The Cuck" Johnson cried because of Zack chants
>Schedule is wrestle, exercise, party, fuck
>Spent his "indie" years in WWE
>Wrote the book on how to use social media
>Connects with sincerity
>Has his back shaved by the GOAT Chris Jericho
>Kevin Owens jerks off thinking about Zack banging Emma
>Theme song is loved all over the world
>Broski Boot is wholly original and gets chants every time
>Rough Ryder is the most protected finisher in history (look it up)
>Appeals to both marks and smarks- literally cannot lose
>Got over as Edgehead and won Tag Title
>Got over as the Broski and won US Title
>Fought through burial
>Fought through burial's burial
>Still over
>Won IC Title at the largest Wrestlemania ever
>Elbro Drop is the best elbow drop since the Macho Man
>All this and is still younger than the TNA and NJPW has-beens being brought in

>>1463267
What is the whole association with Lana and farts?

>>1467056
forced meme shitposting

After requests from Airsoft, Legitimate Pro-Wrestling discussions, Martial Arts, Skateboarders etc. We the ones who want to discuss wrestling are going to clean up this board. I mean seriously, 90% of this board is CM Punk or Roman Reign threads.

Starting this friday, there will be auto bans for posts containing words. This will be for one week to see how things improve.

CM Punk*, CM Phil, Phil, CM Cuck, Philip Brooks
Ryback*, Ryan Reeves, Rycuck
Roman Reigns*, Ramen, BBYGRL, Babygirl, Babygrrl, believe that,
Becky Lynch*, Sasha Banks*
Jannety words too: Deannety, Jasethy, Becketty, BeC+etty, SashA+
Alexa Bliss, Bliss

Tripfaggotry like
Bretcuck, Carter, DeanMark, Peadomod

*indicates wrist slap or one hour ban only.

Have you cucked Peadomod will be instantly deleted and everyone who posts in there will be banned.
Threads that will instantly under radar and deleted if they are useless, also OP will be banned.
These threads are
What did she/he mean by this
When is he going to fight, or any CM Punk thread that tries too hard to make fun of his future endeavors.
Ryback threads will be monitored.
Is he/she a cuck
Is he/she autistic
Brother Nero, (Sister Nero fags better beware too.)
Are you excited when our man enters with this theme tonight/fake Seth Rollins theme threads
Any Catch Phrases used as topic starters e.g. Posting Jericho with "Drink it in man" is not acceptable and a waste of space.

Other shit to follow
>Keep the Becky Lynch and Sasha shit in their own generals or just create a common general for Women wrestlers.
>Just make a general for CM Punk, Ryback, Roman and you'll save so much space here.
>Don't create a general for some jobber or no draw wrestler e.g. Peyton Royce, No Way Jose
>Make threads only if it doesn't fit in a general.

Quivering with rage as he slowly types out his reply, his chubby fingers shaking with pent up anger over his father leaving and his "mamá" having to work two jobs.

The family dogs limps by and farts out a bloody condom.

> Wat u mean?

Finally giving up on coming up with witty replies he slump back on the stained mattress he uses as a bed.

"wut...u...mean..?" he slowly types out his breath labored as he taps the keys.

He glances up at the basement door thyrough which he can hear the faint sounds of mamás current customer grunting and groaning.

A single tear rolls down his round cheek as he turns back to the laptop and refreshes the thread.

> Huh?

The sounds upstairs stosp and he glances back to the door. It's suddenly flung open and he jumps in surprise, his chin jiggling as the computer falls off his lap.

Mamá slowly waddles to the top of the staircase, a bruise on her face and a tear in her eye.
"Mijo" she tearfully exclaims, "I have nearly made enough money for the internet connection. I know you said you're working hard on an online degree my dear. I'm so proud of you."

He picks the laptop back up as she waddles out of the room.

"Huh?" he types in and carefully enters the captcha.

The dog passes out on the ground, it's rectum leaking blood on the the bare stone floor.

The two are very different

/wooo/
>Tight moderation
>Userbase is predominantly sexually frustrated outlaw wrestling fans
>Saying anything pro-WWE sees you chased off the board
>The above means myths like 'Punk brought back casuals' are allowed to become accepted into a delusional hivemind
>Tripfags are worshipped


/asp/
>Lax moderation
>Userbase is predominantly upstanding members of society, but with a minority of vocal NEETs (cf. recent /asp/ survey)
>Broad range of opinion permitted
>The above means that ground truth always tempers the hivemind
>Tripfags are treated like scum, as is deserved

/wooo/ is for if you want civil discussion. Most of the time too civil. They all type and act very proper, like they're important people or something, and if you're not the same way you're looked down on.

This board is more for chilling out and banter

/wooo/ has very shallow discussion. it's all very circklejerky, while /asp/ has pretty good discussion when you can find it under all the shitposts and memes

No Finn pasta?

>>1468741
New favourite

>>1468856
Literally who