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Signed by UFC 18 months ago......STILL no fight!

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Thread replies: 31
Thread images: 6

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Does any adult actually truly believe he ever will?

Also I've updated my list for your pleasure....

>Hypocrite
>Whiner
>Coward
>Manlet
>Doesn't lift
>Emo geek
>Entitled brat
>Reads comic books
>Liberal cuck
>Pathetic quitter
>Most boring guy in any room at any time
>Hissy fit enthusiast
>Meat-fearer
>Booze-dodger
>Pudding belly
>Straight edge weakling
>Runs in the opposite direction like a terrified screaming girl at the mere sight of a burger
>All his matches are sloppy and riddled with botches
>Ultra-sensitive
>Tumblr feminist
>Worst physique in wrestling since Mick "Ten Burgers" Foley
>Sk8er boi
>Likes hockey
>Doesn't like to party
>Zero coordination
>Prefers Pepsi to Budweiser
>30 minute boring promos sent the audience to sleep
>Still watches The Walking Dead
>Never drew a penny
>Tragic gluten-free diet
>Potty mouth
>Brittle bones
>Failed to take the advice from the great Kevin Nash
>Hasn't taken a shower
>Hasn't hit the weights
>Hasn't got a clue
>My Chemical Romance fan
>Wrote the foreword for a vegan cookbook
>Desperate to be edgy. Fails miserably
>Drones on about being an atheist. Nobody cares
>Thinks using Cult Of Personality for his theme is cool. It isn't
>GTS stolen from KENTA
>Ananconda Vice stolen from Tenzan
>Adored by beta morons
>Calling that overrated and carefully scripted promo a "pipebomb" represents a new level of cringe
>Cried about Lesnar
>Cried about The Rock
>Cried about HHH
>Cried about Vince
>Cried about The Big Guy (for you!) Ryback
>Cried about the doctors
>Cried about not being in a WrestleMania main event
>Is the only person who sees talent in his boyfriend Colt Cabana
>Performs worst top rope elbow drop in history
>Booked as WWE champion for over year, made million of dollars - all he did was complain
>Most laughable "fighter" in UFC history
>>
How devastated are you going to be when he beats Mickey Gall? He may turn out to be the shittiest fighter ever not named Cathal Pendred, Matt Riddle, or Cody MacKenzie, but at least he signed up to get potentially beaten down mercilessly in front of an audience while you're on a Cambodian image sharing site bitching and moaning.
>>
>>1263425
HOLY SHIT HI PHIL
>>
How butthurt can you be to shitpost and spam pasta about a guy that doesn't even know you exist?
>>
>>1263425
>>1263456


Hi Phil!
>>
Phill is here !
>>
>>1263435
>>1263465
>literal retards

This is Phrank and fuck you
>>
>>1263415
we get it, Bryan, you're jealous because you're crippled and he isn't
>>
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JUST LOOK INTO MY EYES SENPAI
>>
>>1263730
JUST FUCK UP ME
>>
>>1263415
>Mick "Ten Burgers" Foley
top kek
>>
>>1263732
I'M NEVER GOING TO FIGHT IN THE UFC
>>
his fight with mickey will probably be his only one. i don't think he'll get fucked up like everyone does. wouldn't even be surprised if he won. then he'll come back and all of (You) will welcome him with open arms.
>>
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>>1263907
Is it not enough to be made fun of for being autistic? Why does Phil want to fight Mickey?
>>
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>>1263415
What happened to Phil? He seriously let himself go.
>>
>>1263415

That pic is too damn funny. An emo fighter? No, just no.
>>
>>1264079
Working on the road for years, being injured and then being lazy as fuck
It's pretty sad honestly
>>
>>1263415

No the whining queen will NEVER fight. It's all a joke.
>>
>>1263415
He's trying to delay the fight as long as possible so people will forget he was even signed
Better to be labeled a liar than to be buttravaged in the ring
>>
>left wwe 2 years ago
>still working the marks
Based Phil
>>
I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU PHIL
>>
>>1263888
OH I'M A FAG WITH NO PERSONALITY
>>
>>1265672
>>1265682

Hi Phil! Shouldn't you be pretending to train for a UFC fight that's never going to happen?
>>
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>>1265744
>mfw this is literally Ryback
>>
>>1265744
get worked mark
>>
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>>1263415

>GOAT
>Rich as fuck
>Famous
>6'2
>Big dick
>Fucked Lita, Kelly Kelly, Beth Phoenix, Daffney, Maria Kanellis, Traci Brooks
>Married AJ Lee
>Two 5 star matches
>Is straight-edge; completely toxic free
>Got out of wrestling before he destroyed his body
>Didn't take WWE's shit
>Anti-smarks still obsessed with him years after he left
>Exposed HHH
>Exposed Ryback
>Exposed The Rock
>Exposed Roman Reigns
>Exposed Vince
>Exposed Dr. Amann
>Exposed Chris Jericho
>Most important indy wrestler of all time
>Was the absolute greatest on the mic
>Brought wrestling back to the mainstream and made it cool again
>Outsold John Cena in merchandise
>Was the first to endorse Antonio Cesaro and Seth Rollins before they even got to the main roster
>Was able to elevate himself from a heatless directionless midcarder to red hot main event status in just 6 minutes
>Was universally over with everyone
>Was the best part about the show anytime he was on
>Had the best theme songs in wrestling history
>Amazing technician
>Most entertaining guy in any room at any time
>Cool as fuck
>Hot as fuck
>Had the best match with Brock Lesnar since his return
>Had one of the best streak matches with Undertaker
>Had the best match with John Cena in his entire career and also his greatest rival
>Is the reason people finally started to say no to WWE's bullshit
>Is the reason based DBry had his WrestleMania moment
>Is considered one of the greatest of all time by Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bret Hart and Mick Foley
>Is best friends with Paul Heyman
>Proven draw anytime WWE gave him a chance
>Destroyed The Rock on the mic
>Not a single bad promo in his entire career
>Buried Ryback
>Was brave enough to jump ship to UFC
>Will go down in history as one of the greatest of all time
>>
>>1265703
KEK MY LIFE, FANTASIZE ABOUT AJ LEE GETTING BLACKED ALL NIGHT
>>
Being signed with a promotion doesn't always grant you fights, regardless of your desire to be in one. Ask any boxer who ever signed with Al Haymon or Don King and ended up working as male strippers or taxi/uber drivers to make ends meet when they couldn't get a match on PBC, ESPN, or HBO/Showtime.

While MMA fighters in general are much better off for the most part, due in large part to the lack of political bickering between sanctioning bodies and the size of UFC in general, there are dozens upon dozens of fighters in every weight class and only so much space on the cards. To top it off, Dana White could very well have signed Punk with the intent of simply ribbing McMahon. He has the capital and means to do so and it's not something anyone should put past him.
>>
>>1266184
>cognitive dissonance: the greentext shitpost
>>
>>1263415
cuck man phil is never going to fight.
>>
i bet samoa joe could easily beat him in an mma fight
Thread posts: 31
Thread images: 6


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