>RAW opens
>Shane stood in the ring with the biggest fucking lockbox you've ever seen
>down comes Vince
>he's pissed
>"THAT LOCKBOX IS MINE"
>"Indeed it is dad...
>...only I forgot to lock it"
>Vince gulps
>Door slowly swings open
>OUT STEPS...VINCE RUSSO
>"Bro I've got to tell these people your dirty little secret...
>bro you didn't build this...
>bro I built this...
>and just let me tell you bro, as a shoot....
>the contract Shane signed for his match at WrestleMania, bro, actually made me the commissioner!"
>[deafening cheers]
>Vince gulps again
LOCKBOX ON A POLE
If Judy Bagwell and a forklift are involved, I say book it!
>"and bro I've got to level with you...
>I've been locked in that box for fifteen years trying to deal with some woman in Florida and some suits at Spike TV over the phone...
>and bro, I'm ready to book some wrestling...
>not "sports entertainment" bro, WRESTLING...
>and so as my first act as commissioner I am booking a huge match in the main event...
>it will be a number one contenders match for the Intercontinental title and bro...
>it will be Kevin Owens vs Bray Wyat...
>in a Hot Pocket on a pole match!"
SAVE.US.RUSSO.MPEG
>all of a sudden, The Harris Brothers