Fuck my fucking life help

>>2454877
call a carpet cleaning company that does upholstery cleaning.

in the end it's probably cheaper to throw it away and buy new stuff.

>>2454877
Get rid of it. Idk how you only noticed once you brought it in though.

>>2454883
It's been there for so long that I don't think steam cleaning can help. Generally that just makes it smell worse because it brings all the things that make it smell to the surface.

>>2454887
>Idk how you only noticed once you brought it in though
it probably only had a faint smell but OP's dogs pissed on it.

>>2454890
Fuck off, cat.
>>2454887
I'm not rich. I cannot afford to throw away money. Is there really nothing I can put on it? I have enzymatic spray in the mail arriving Monday. Is there really no hope?
>>2454883
What the other anon said. Steaming would be bad for this couch. Sadly it's not that easy I guess.

>>2454887
>I don't think steam cleaning can help.
>>2454894
>Steaming would be bad for this couch

I didn't say steam it.
I said call a carpet cleaning company that also does upholstery.

You guys are the experts though. I'm just the owner of a carpet cleaning company that does upholstery. What would I know?

Enzymatic sprays are the best for removing cat urine odor. Try to saturate everything as much as possible. A water-based product will be more effective than an alcohol-based product as it will have more time to work before drying. Two treatments are sometimes required. Good luck, my friend.

>>2454897
>I'm just the owner of a carpet cleaning company that does upholstery. What would I know
Oh no I'm so so sorry I'll listen to you now that I know who you really are!
But seriously, I'm just going off what I've read over and over on the internet. I'd get rid of it entirely before I hired anyone. Sell it forward on Craigslist and fuck the next person over. Meet in a public place, open air, and hand it off, make my money back, buy a better couch that comes from a house with no cats.
I'd rather do that go through the trouble of having it cleaned with no guarantee that the smell will ever leave. You know what I'm sayin'?
>>2454901
Thaaaaaank you. Any brand recommendations?

>>2454918
>You know what I'm sayin'?
of course. That's why I said it would be cheaper to toss it and start over.

Yes, spraying it with $9.95 worth of enzyme cleaner and then wiping it down repeatedly with wet rags will make it a bit better but won't touch the urine that's soaked into the stuffing.

Paying someone $60 to soak it in enzyme cleaner and then pump it full of water before vacuuming it out will make it even better, but even then it's not going to smell great. But at least we have the equipment to clean below the surface.

You will never get that smell out OP. No amount of cleaning will help. There is no chemical in existence that will do the job without getting rid of the chair too.

white vinegar and water in a spray bottle. works wonders.

>>2454890
This. If it's as bad as you say, there is no way you wouldn't have noticed it immediately. Especially since you claim you entered the people's house. If the chair is stinking up your house, why didn't you notice it when it was in theirs?

Dogs probably smelt old cat piss and marked over it.

>Now I'm paranoid that everything will smell like piss. That my dogs will track it on my bed

The smell will last for years without proper pet odour remover but you're retarded if you think the dogs are going to spread it.

>shit owners have no idea how to fix behavior problem in their cat
>blame the cat.

I bet the old fucks put the litterbox right next to their janky ass 70's washing machine.

>>2455025
>you're retarded if you think the dogs are going to spread it.
Dogs laying on it and now their fur smells of it. Seriously. You really can't put that together? Only one of my dogs would probably try to mark it and he was locked up and away while we were gone.
I also spent the remainder of the day directly next to it so I'm paranoid as fuck since I'm losing it over the smell and it's all I can smell. I now relate Lysol and Febreez with cat pee smell.
And yes it smelled, it just wasn't as bad, their home was huge and breezy, our living room is tiny and no windows. I didn't carry it, either. I just stayed out of the way and let the guys do it, so I barely touched it til it landed in their living room and I had a chance to disinfect it.
>>2454932
:( kk I'll try
>>2454945
Fuck why would anyone do this to someone?
>>2454946
That's the last step before I get rid of it. Thanks.

>>2455038
I love cats, but I just walked into my living room and all I can smell is cat litter and cat smell.

>>2455025
>If the chair is stinking up your house, why didn't you notice it when it was in theirs?
because their whole house smells like that and/or they sprayed something on it to mask the smell and it has since worn off.

this is why you don't buy furniture off craiglist.

>>2455077
>this is why you don't buy furniture off craiglist.
It's worked well before :c I'll just check better next time.

>>2454877

Those people (as nasty as it is) probably didn't know any better because their fuckin cats probably pissed all over everything else and they got used to it

When I went to college I realized just how many people out there weren't raised to properly clean their space

Sorry to break it to you but when my family moved into their current house we had to remove all of the carpeting despite renting an industrial carpet cleaning device because no soap made by mere mortal men could get that smell out.

>>2455038
Wait, is there reason a litterbox shouldn't be in the laundry room?

We're taking it to a recycling center and getting another couch. The cat lady is giving me my money back tomorrow supposedly.

>>2455319.
Just wanted to add
Thanks to everybody that pulled me out of denial real quick. I'd set that couch on fire in front of that lady's house if I could.

The best part: The lady insisted that I set up a pick up date for it to be donated and gave a charity number to call.

>>2455099
>no soap made by mere mortal men
This is exactly it. The smell coming from this couch is immortal and not from this world. It'll be shredded by tomorrow.

OP, just get some fabreeze for the smell around your house, and buy that dog enzyme cleaner that cleans up dog piss.
After returning from deployment from a submarine, all clothes will smell like cat piss because of the amine used to clean the air.

That cat piss cleaner is what I pour over all my shit in the washing mashine along with normal detergent to get my clothes clean.

>>2455099
This. Had an Aunt that used to have a normal home til they had a third kid and gave up on life around when I was 16. The wall in a certain hall was SWELLING because it had been in contact with what I assumed to be gallons of cat piss over the course of a year. Had to eat an entire meal with the smell of piss in my nose because my parents wanted me to be "polite" about it.

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If you ever unfortunate enough to live through a cat marking territory and pissing in your house, may what ever gods are out there help you. Your furniture can't be salvaged. Don't try cleaning it, just remove it from your life and save the effort. You will need all your strength for the coming task. Any carpet and underlying padding needs to be ripped out. All your floors have to be taken down to cement. If your walls have wallpaper or wood accent, it all has to be removed. Rule of thumb: if it is absorbent it can't be saved. If the smell has soaked into the wood foundation of your walls well they have to go too. A cleaner that can get rid of the smell will also get rid of everything but cement. So, while you are tearing down your house think of it as an opportunity to remodel.

The house that I grew up in went through this. Fortunately it all happened in the basement. It wasn't much problem to gut everything because the basement had a cement shell. When it came time to sell the house my family spent several thousand on expensive carpet cleaners and professional cleaning companies but nothing worked. Just wasted money.

>>2454946
This takes it right out.
T.catfag

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>Buying used, upholstered furniture from a stranger

Stench is nothing. Pray to God they didn't have bedbugs.

>>2455534

Another problem that can only be solved by burning your house down.

>>2455077
no, it's why you don't buy anything from catfags
that's like the first thing i ask

>>2454897
>I didn't say steam it.
>I said call a carpet cleaning company that also does upholstery.
Alright dude, it's just that everytime I've had my (nonleather) upholstery cleaned in my car or house, that's what they did to it. Would you like to tell us exactly how ypu r guys would address a couch with old cat piss on it?

>>2455509
Deep 9 year old couch piss? It stinks up the whole house so why bother?

>>2455682
1. take concentrated enzymatic cleaner and spot test it on the bottom part of the chair on the upholstery cloth to make sure it isn't going to eat your furniture.
2. Wait 15 minutes for the spot test. During this time I rifle through your sister's/daughter's/mother's underwear drawer and help myself to food out of your fridge. I may or may not play candy crush.
3. rinse spot check blot and load my pressure sprayer with enzymatic cleaner per the manufacturers directions for dilution and temperature.
4. Using pressure sprayer, evenly and completely soak your rancid furniture while keeping the nozzle close enough to blow enzymes into the batting.
5. Wait the required amount of time for the enzyme to activate and digest. During this time I will continue snooping around your house and eating your food/drinking your booze. I will perhaps post photos of your stuff on my facebook page, and by now I have switched from candy crush to midget porn.
6. Use my upholstery wand/extractor to wash the fuck out of your now moist furniture.
7. repeat the rinsing and extraction until I'm no longer getting bubbles/milky water in my extractor tank.
8. Spend 15 minutes gathering my gear back to the truck, eat one last donut, leave you a bill for $60

notice the only steam involved is my steam account if I decide to play vidya while ransacking your house and cleaning your putrid ass cushions.

>>2455682
In fact steam has 3 primary uses in our industry:
I. Disinfection. This is obvious. Sustained steam will kill dust mites, and may or may not kill bacteria and mold depending on the temperature.
II. It dries fairly quickly because of the heat.
III. customers see it as superior in every application whether it actually is or not.

So while steam cleaning certainly isn't necessary to remove pet odors, most companies will use it anyways because ignorant clients prefer it whether they should or not.

Or at least we will TELL YOU that's what we used. As likely as not we pulled your whole carpet and pad out and rinsed it in your yard under the garden hose and then put it back. We do whatever we need to to get the job done.

we tell you whatever we need to to get the job.

>>2455722
>>2455729
10/10 would hire and have a dozen variety donuts and booze ready for.

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>>2454877
What's it like being poor?

>>2454877
Is this a joke? What sort of dipshit buys a used fabriic couch? You deserve this.

Throw it out and buy a fresh piece of furniture at a discount store.

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>>2454877
>nice white folk.

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>>2455722
>>2455729
Quality posts A+

>>2455956
Someone with little money. I'm young and my family was not rich. I've bought used furniture the entire time I've lived alone and this is the only time something bad has happened.
>>2455951
I'm not exactly poor, I just don't want to deplete my savings or have a monthly payment on a damn couch.
>>2455729
>>2455722
Your post convinced me. I called a few people, only 3 in my area that do upholstery. One denied me and said it'll be better to just throw it out, the other said he has 26 years experience and says he's sure he can get it out for $140 (also suggested taking peroxide to the couch), the third suggested soaking in enzyme cleaner and calling him if unsuccessful and would charge $75.

$140 compared to $75 wtf.

>>2454946
>>2455509
Elaborate please. Instructions, water to vinegar ratio, do I let it air dry or can I take a blow dryer to it?

>buying furniture from Craigslist

Consider yourself lucky you didn't end up with bedbugs, toss that shit out, and then consider the fact that just because someone is white doesn't mean they're disgusting slobs.

>>2456319
They're not* disgusting slobs.

>>2456319
Different races different habits.

This seems like a thinly veiled cat hate thread.

If you're that much of a poorfag, you deserve this. Stop buying furniture from strangers.

>>2456437
Not everyone can afford full priced furniture.

>>2456437

No cat hate. But we do hate their urine. Distilled from pure sin in the pits of hell.

Got my money back for the couch.
Something unheard of on Craigslist.
Paid a guy to come clean the shit out of it. Everything is ok now. I ended up spending way less for a huge power reclining tufted microfiber couch and recliner than I ever thought. Craigslist will still be my go to. I'll never learn. Thanks everyone, it's been real.

>>2457905
So you successfully removed the stench?

best thread on /an/ right now

>>2457976
I can't tell til it dries. For now it smells like it's actually clean, but the material is still wet.
>>2457979
I usually kill threads just by contributing, so that's nice.

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Just killed a mouse by not checking a humanitarian trap. Poor thing died alone in a box.
How do I fix this crime against nature and that poor little innocent thing just trying to exist.

>>2458006
Equivalent exchange. You must buy a female and male mouse and force them to produce offspring to make up for the void left in the universe. Most likely the soul of the mouse you murdered will be reincarnated aswell.

>>2458006
>>2458035
Not a bad idea actually, mice are adorable. When you're done just release them in your exe's house (provided you can break in without getting caught).

I thought this story was heading in a bedbugs direction and I was freaking out. Cat piss doesn't sound so bad after that.

>>2458124
This.

So dramatic for such a minor inconvenience.
Bedbugs would require you to fumigate or destroy every bit of furniture you already had. Those fuckers are hard to get rid of.

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>>2458197
>the noxious smell of cat piss is a minor inconvenience
Found the dirty cat fag

>>2458222
>Bawww I had to spend 15 dollars on a pet odour remover. How will my bank account ever recover?!?!!!1

>>2458229
he had to hire a pro to come clean it and isn't even sure if it worked

you're still a dirty and piss permanently scented catfag

>>2458230
If you get secondhand furniture you should do that anyway. Imagine how many times it's been pissed/shit/puked/jizzed on by people, let alone their pets.

Disgusting poorfags.

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>>2458235
>doesn't comprehend the value of quality furniture that hasn't been destroyed by cats and degenerates
you may or may not be a poorfag, but you sure sound disgusting

>>2458229
>I don't notice any smell, you guys are crazy
Disgusting

>>2458249
>I had to spend 15 dollars on a pet odour remover
>I don't notice any smell, you guys are crazy


If they didn't notice the smell, why buy odour remover in the first place. Even if the comment was hypothetical, you are fucking retarded.

>>2458254
It was a sarcastic comment.
As in "I'm a smelly catfag who doesn't notice it anymore because I've grown accustomed to the smell of nasty odor of cat piss that can't be removed without heavy duty cleaning"
The fact this needs explained to you proves that you are retarded.

>>2458235
>a set of furniture is built to such a quality standard it can survive years of being shit on, puked on, jizzed on, morbidly obese land whales wallowing on it, and drenched in cat piss
>"lol, you sure are stupid for buying this instead of spending thousands of dollars on cheap mass manufactured furniture that will break as soon as you sneeze on it"

It's like the difference between sleeping in a fucking house vs sleeping in a cardboard box.

Yeah, the cardboard box is brand new, and it doesn't have any weird smells or stains. But it's still a fucking cardboard box.

Couch smells great, y'all. Parents sat on it and didn't say a word.