What's the Deal With Primates?

We have fun and we eat food.

I'm more weirded out how sculpted this monkey is. Everything is so round and smooth.

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Back in the time of dinosaurs, the only mammal was a shitty little tree shrew that eventually grew into all sorts of things. Some of the things it became were the primates, which weren't very fast or strong but were pretty smart. Eventually the primates used their superior intelligence and thumbs to take over the entire planet.

That's basically how it went anyway.

>>2453291
>not very strong

I'd argue gorillas and chimps are some of the world's strongest animals

>>2453297
You'd be severely overestimating their raw strength then.

To a human, any native primate of relative size seems indescribably stronger.

But compare a chimp's strength and raw output to that of a Grizzly, or an Elephant, and you'd be hard-pressed to convince anyone the chimp would win.

>>2453299
I think a pack of elephant-sized chimps could destroy a third world nation.

>>2453392
There's a joke about blacks in there somewhere.

>>2453395
No no no. They create 3rd world nations, not destroy them.

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>>2453299
>dweedehee an animal that weighs 130 pounds is weaker than an animal that weighs 600+ pounds

yeah no shit sherlock.

Primates in general have a pretty significant power-to-weight ratio among mammals. Humans are at the low end of the scale, but still stronger than most similarly sized non-primate mammals.
Like if you has a horse scaled down to human weight, a human would definitely be able to outmuscle it.

>>2453414
wat is a lion

>>2453515
Typical male lion weighs 190kg are you fucked?

>>2453414
Even a leopard is able to kill a gorilla.

>>2453554
So, it's pretty much a nigger fighting?

>>2453554
gorillas don't have claws

Interestingly, though, Gorillas have a terrifyingly strong bite force, around 1300 psi. I thought it was bullshit when I first read it, but the only figures I read about are in that ballpark.

The 'problem' with gorillas is they aren't really aggressive. Most of their fights are just posturing, and most people who are victims of gorilla attacks come out of it with some broken bones and maybe a few bite wounds

Not like victims of more aggressive primates, like chimpanzees.

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>>2454098

>>2454098
Fuck chimps. Chimps are nature's dolphins.

>>2454098
Are Bonobos endangered or something? Why don't people just get those as pets? Give em a hump toy and you got a chill ass ape to hang out with.

>>2454160
I thought dolphins were nature's dolphins?

>>2453520
Boogie can take down a lion?

>>2454203
There ain't nothing natural about dolphins.

>>2454166
All the other great apes are endangered. We have to keep them in check lest we have a Planet of the Apes situation on our hands. The neanderthals got a little too bold for our liking so we fucked em all to death. We've been very careful since then to avoid a repeat with the chimpanzees.

>>2454614
I guess. But would Bonobos really pose a threat to the human race? All they do is fuck and chill all day.

>>2453250

>how can goys even compete

>>2454098
Gorillas have an enormous bite force because they are primarily herbivorous. Their enlarged canines are for display mostly.

Grinding fibrous plant matter is more force intensive than burrowing pointy teeth into meat.

>>2454633
Seems like they could destroy our culture with that. But do they kill and eat their elderly or defective like some primates and social animals? No useless burdans to society. ..Because with our birth controle and that we might just get somewhere. Uh, you see they could end us. It sounds too nice, the devil is attractive i hear.

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honestly they're beyond fucked up

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>>2454166
Bonobos may come from a more laid back society than their troglodyte cousins but don't be fooled. They can still attack and severely injure humans. They also have an uncanny ability to hold a grudge and plan their revenge for an perceived slight.

Case in point, Kanzi (sp?) a lab bonobo male, witnessed his favorite caretaker and teacher receive criticism from one of her supervisors. A month later he broke out or snuck out of his lab, went door to door throughout the floor, found the supervisor and bit his fingers off. Later he 'apologized' for what he'd done through his communication panel, so at least he felt remorse for what he'd done. But just imagine what might have happened if the super had been more abusive or chiding in his criticism. He might have lost his face.

>>2454815
Interesting. Never heard of this Kanzi before. Guess it makes sense with human handlers though since they typically release aggression through sex. Thanks for the info dude. I wonder if female Bonobos are that violent.

>>2453250
I tried a few different searches to figure out what this is and the first one that worked was "monkey with jew nose." And the first result was wikipedia.

>>2454815
>Case in point, Kanzi (sp?) a lab bonobo male, witnessed his favorite caretaker and teacher receive criticism from one of her supervisors. A month later he broke out or snuck out of his lab, went door to door throughout the floor, found the supervisor and bit his fingers off.
>having this much loyalty
Bonobos, more like bono-bros.

>>2453250
They're delícias

>>>2454160
>>2454229

https://youtu.be/ojydNb3Lrrs

>>2454225
what

>>2454875
fun fact, some Indonesians call these monkeys "Dutchmen"

>>2454225
Yes, he just swallows them whole, no chewing needed.