Would you fight a cassowary 1vs1 naked with no guns for ten bucks?

>>2430055
I'll do it for 12,50

>>2430055
That does not even cover the minimal medical expenses.

>>2430055
No, I am not retarded.

>>2430055
I'd consider it for $500+

>>2430073
>not wanting free money for beating some dumb smurf coloured chicken and turning it into tendies afterwards
you obviously are

>>2430075
this. unless you're some 300 pound faggot, a child, or an australian there is literally no reason any large bird like this or emus should win in a fight vs a human

>>2430103
They only have the capacity to injure you if you let them, and considering OP didn't rule out weaponry outside of firearms a simple large stick would make the fight hilariously one sided.

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>>2430074
>>2430075
>>2430103
have fun with that shit faggot, this thing is a velociraptor that can gut fully grown men in one kick, and then afterwards peck your eyes out and eat them.

>>2430119
I'll just jump up where its kick can't reach me and give it a dropkick into its dumb fucking faggot face

>>2430119
>autistic bird jumps up to try and scratch me
>i step to the side because im not a complete idiot
>punch it right in the neck, decapitating it

>>2430126
>>2430133
>those kids who said they could take out the football linebacker in highschool by being faster and smaller follwed by leg sweeps

>>2430119
>that can gut fully grown men in one kick
There are no records of this, and the only recorded death is from a kid getting his neck slit after falling down, and a dog dying from being kicked in the gut which didn't even puncture but caused blunt trama. I love birds but these probably aren't very dangerous.

>>2430198
they eat fruit. they probably wouldnt even fight back. vegan pussies lmao

>>2430198
The kid and his brother chased it down and tried to beat it with clubs too, poor bird was just defending itself
>Cassowary attacks and kills boy
or
>Cassowary reacts to humans hitting it with fucking blunt objects

>>2430055
no
because I have nothing against cassowarys
>and 10 bucks
>pfeh

If you're the kind of bitch that thinks geese are scary you will lose, because you have already lost.

I feel like the real answer would depend on how ruthless you are, how willing you are to use underhanded tactics (e.g. pocket sand, immediately diving for a neck-break, tripping and grappling / getting too close for a kick to be effective), and how familiar you are with cassowary movement and behavior / psychology.

I feel like 9 times out of 10 the cassowary will try to run of it thinks it will lose or get hurt; chances are screaming and adopting a threatening posture / charging will mostly work; the cassowary cannot count on a hospital to rescue it from a survival-jeopardizing injury (many "not serious" injuries might cripple survival chances) and so cannot take significant risks with its health.

I have a bigass hawk and if I was not too concerned with being footed I would completely monster it in a fight. The hawk knows this too; that's why the wild ones don't fuck with people. I used to have geese; anyone who loses a fight to a goose deserves WILL die in any sort of survival scenario because it's legitimately hard to lose to a fucking pillow that's 5% of your weight and has what amounts to a 5 year old swinging a bat as its greatest weapon. Not even anything fucking sharp man. Losing to that is like death by tripping and hitting your head on a rock; you have just completely failed at humaning at that point.

>>2430103
>some 300 pound faggot
so I take it you're passing on the fight?

>>2430055
Why would I fight a cassowary? They are nice and gentle creatures

>>2430055
No but I'd train them to fight humans. Why would I fight a cassowary?

>>2430191
I did. I was always one of the smallest kids in my school. But I'm smart and fast. When we played flag football the QB had to eventually pay more attention to me than anything because I weaved around everyone like lightning and sacked him like four times.

I am trained in more than seventeen quintillion forms of unarmed combat.

>>2430191
not any of those anons but that was also me in high school. After the first day of flag football I was suddenly the choice after all the football players got choosen, but went back to being last pick whenever we played ultimate football indoors.

Although even I would NOT mess with an Emu if given the choice, but a cassowary I feel I could take on like>>2430613 mentions, but still wouldn't do it. They are too pretty to beat up for $10

>>2430055
Why would I pay you ten bucks to get fucked up by a bird?

>>2430055
Absolutely not
Self defense is one thing

Ill fuck a bird up for cash

>>2430831
Holy Cringe

>>2430055
From what I've heard Cassowaries are dangerous as fuck if provoked, and could gore the shit out of any human.
You might as well ask me to oil wrestle with a horny rhino.

I wouldnt fight one voluntarily in such conditions.

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>>2430110
>no guns
>didn't say anything about knives

BRING IT ON CHICKEN CHAN, GIVE ME MY $10

Ah, just a goofy looking bird, of course i'll do it.
I'm gonna simply grab it by the neck so that it won't be able to peck me, what could go wr-

>>2430055
i would be losing money and dignity that way. no

>>2430514
the kid can't be on the wrong. never

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>>2430613
unfortunately territorial/aggressive animals (see above) fight past injury

sometimes they fight to the death, depending on season the same animal might run away on sight or might fight you hard enough to break its own retard bones.

now that we are past that, cassowaries are total bitch chickens they are fucking endangered literally because doggos keep killing them. Expect them to be extinct within the next 50 years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSMdauVHS4M

honestly compare the ACTUAL MOST DANGEROUS BIRD the ostrich to cassowaries. Cass's are a fucking meme half the size of the furious ostrich

I participated in the entirety of this thread thinking I was on /k/

>>2430055
I'll do it for about tree fiddy.

Yeah, I would. Doesn't mean I'll win but I'd give it a shot.

At least I'd be remembered, even if it's in humility.

>>2430055
for $10? fuck no.

Me
>65kg
>height advantage
>no natural weapons or defenses
>I have arms
Cassowary
>50kg
>strong beak and talons
>sturdier

The question is really if I get weapons. The natural defense of a human is a spear, in which case I'd probably win, but if not I'd probably lose. Maybe if I had a solid stick I'd do it -- wouldn't be able to dish out much damage but I'd be able to keep it back and stop it from getting to me with its beak and talons.

Another question is it a fight to the death? Or is it a fight to whoever yields first? Because if its whoever yields first best case scenario is I'm injured, best case is a make a display like an ape does and I'm able to just scare it off. But if it's to death I'll probably end up injured best case, dead worse.

but anway. really depends if I'm armed or not. if a spear is allowed (which is fair because that's what humans usually use in nature) I'll have a good chance.

>>2430613
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across theUSAand your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>2430055
Idk man that's how bird person was created

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>>2430055
nah

>>2430831
>flag football
>flag

Cool, so a bunch of untrained ametures got together and did their best with little to no training/practice. 5th grade science fairs also have winners. Think about that.

>>2432686
>he trips to the ground himself while backing
>the ostrich almosts falls down too by itself even when the man was doing nothing
>he gets up in a few seconds, unscratched
>ACTUAL MOST DANGEROUS BIRD

Yeah, a literal mankiller at work right there.

I dunno man, I deal with the ostriches by just punching them in the face - that things crest looks like it will fuck up my hand.

Ostriches are little bitches but that colorful death turkey might fuck me up.

>>2433983
punch it in the side of the head. donezo

Getting it to run away counts as a win right? Just give me a long sharpened stick to keep it at bay if it feels cornered and I can just shout the thing down and get it to run
without either of us getting hurt. Cassowarys are shy as fuck so long as ypu aren't dealing with a male with chicks.

>>2430119
The lack of symmetry triggers me

>>2430119
good girl.

I'm convinced /an/ (and probably all of 4chan's) fighting techniques are side steps and leg sweeps

When I was about 7 I was in a poor ugly zoo in hungary, strolled by myself and went somewhere which was not for public, and suddenly a cassowary ran and jumped towards me, and we were separated only by weak rusty fence; I almost shat myself, run away (thinking he's running after me) and still have this vivid memory 20 years later.

Also my mom was once in some zoo in asia, and they evacuated it because a golden necked cassowary ran loose; she didn't see it and nobody got hurt.

Ofc coolstorybro twice, but at least they are real

btw. if any pro is here and can offer cassowary for sale, let me know

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>>2434180
Don't look down

>>2434946
The lack of symmetry triggers me

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hi,im new here