all right, what is objectively the best pet one can buy/adopt

A rock.

>>2390673
A well bred golden retriever that you intend to train.

Axolotl. Always Axolotls

A bobbit worm

As long as you feed it every other day there's simply no way it will ever die, plus you get to "see" fish randomly disappear from your tank

If you keep it up for a few years you will eventually be able to ride it, not unlike the worms from Dune. Then, the world is your oyster.

>>2390804
Alaskan bullworm

>>2390673
A feral puppy.

>>2390804
And its the ultimate home defense weapon. Hear someone breaking in? unleash it

Dog

Obviously

>>2390673
Do you have time to play with it and space for it to run around in?
>yes
Dog
>no
Cat

>>2390673

No such thing as "objectively" the best. It depends on your living circumstances, income, how much time, effort, and money you're willing to commit to the animal, where you live, and many other factors.

>>2390673
your mom. if you catch my drift

I'm going to say a single goldfish ins a 100g tank.

It's pretty. It can learn trick. You can teach it to eat from your hand. It doesn't shed, it doesn't leave shit all over the carpet, and if it dies, you can get another for 28 cents at your local walmart and start Goldie 2.0

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>>2390804
Damn that looks cool, like an alien creature, personal sarlac pit.

Brown Recluse

An organic spaceship

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>>2393140
A bobbit worm makes a sarlac its bitch

At any rate if you want a literal miniature sarlac, check out the ant lion

https://youtu.be/CWkfAyfBDHE
(skip to 1:20 for feeding)

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>>2390673

Mole.

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>no one has said platypus

faggots, all of you.

A monkey

>>2393288
That's only the babies, though. The adults are kinda just weird dragonflies.

>>2393140
>>2390804
It hides all day though.

>>2393304
Yeah that's why I said that all you get to see is 4 threads sticking out of the sand and then noticing you're missing a fish the next day

Though if you install a red light and wait till its the middle of the night, you just might see a split-second-long shadow come out to feed

>>2390673
cat

fuck being original

>>2390673

A woman

ferret

ferret

ferret

eagle

For me, It's the Brown Recluse.

>>2397988
eagle

>>2390673
A well bred medium/large breed of dog

Their only down side is they die too fast

>>2396366
>>2397767
>>2397823
they fucking stink

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Bunny, have cuteness of a cat and energy of a dog. Can also use their manure as top dressing for gardening, my plant love it.

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>>2398164
They also like to spend time with other pet.

>>2398164
Bunnies make great pets. But watch out for those sharp nails.

>>2398179
I can deal with the nail, it those teeth you gotta worry about, I bleed several time because I annoy her.

ferret

>>2398010
eagle

ferret

>>2398426
eagle

ferret

>>2399202
Eagle

>>2399213
Turtle

>>2393288
Is it seriously how american documentaries sound like?

>>2399228
Elephant

>>2398184
When I annoy my dog too much, she shakes herself and goes in another room.

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bearded dragon (if allergic to rabbits or dont want to have to deal with rabbit proofing or litter boxes) or rabbits (bonded pair)

dog is good if you have the time, money, and patience to properly care for it

dragons are nice because you can leave them for a week or so and they'll be fine, but they're curious little guys and can be very cute and often have beautiful patterns. rabbits and dogs are better for people who need mammalian connections with their pets, but they can end up being quite ge ball and chain. good rabbit sitters are hard to come by

Python

>>2399346
eagle

ferret

>>2390673
kkk you're hilarious

>>2392347
Underrated. This is the short answer to the question.

>>2398164
There are cute, but there is a lot of effort to keep the environment clean especially if indoor. Also they die really easily for a fuck ton of reasons.

>>2401702
Ferrets are cool but they are really hard to maintain. If you keep the indoor you have to deal with the odour and with the shit (they are hard to litter train and they are not consistent, they tend to shit wherever if they feel lazy). Also their health is really fragile.

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>>2398164
>tfw had a bunny until grandma started living with us
>saw it and slaughtered him right before my eyes
>proceeded to make stew
Have fun in hell

ferret

>>2401753
Me Abuelo did that to my Step Dad's rabbit

>>2390673
Whichever one you like best

>>2390673

Cats = low maintenance but low affection
Dogs = high maintenance but high affection.

If you want a mute 4 year old who's only goals are to eat, fuck, play, and please and protect his/her loved ones, dogs are awesome.

If you want a mute moody 14 y/o that will occasionally show some affection but generally just takes care of his/herself, and may or may not actually care about you beyond food and shelter, get a cat.

Everything else is in between. Most reptiles, insects, arachnids couldn't give a fuck about you.

Rats and ferrets can be pretty affectionate and trainable (not to mention easily portable.)

Personally I'm a dogfag. I like having a completely loyal pet that also can help protect you/act as an alarm. Its like having an adorable little subordinate.

A chihuahua

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Mutts are best for adopting.

>>2392347
>people get cats to put them into shitty small homes and ignore them most of the time
And then they wonder why their cats become assholes.

>>2402953
That's not true. If you've ever raised a reptile you'd know that it can show affection towards you.

>>2390673
If you have room for it, and are ready for the responsibility, then tegus. If you raise them right then they can be just as affectionate as a dog. They can even come when their name is called.

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based hoarse

>>2403257
Look at that cutie

Looks smart too

>>2393149
Go home, Data, you are drunk.

>>2405125
>this animal that is very much not a dog is just like a dog

I want this meme to end.