>Blocks your path

>>2369605
haha tongue looks like dog benis

>>2369605
>*casually steps to the side and walks around, leaving a comfortable distance between us*
Well that was easy

>>2369607
It dangles in the water to attract prey.

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*drops on you*

>>2369611
The alligator snapping turtle can easily puncture that paper-thin armor.

>>2369618
It's a threatened species. Harming one will result in a fine.

>>2369620
It's not a crime when there are no witnesses or evidence.
*eats the turtle*

>>2369616
Can it though? I'm actually interested right now. Has anyone ever tried getting a snapping turtle to bite through metal?

>>2369605
*picks it up from behind and brings it to the side of the road it was crossing to*

>>2369667
did you literally kill a lizard just to make a shitty meme joke? unironically die

>>2369673
Them niggas get well over 100lbs.

>>2369610
Why are prey so hungry for the doggy dick?

>>2369680
>not being able to lift 100+ pounds

What are you, a woman?

>>2369673
I'm glad mods are active again and deleting le funny ebin animal cruelty shitposts.

My crazy aunt bought one of these things and put it in my bathroom once. It BLOCKED PATH to the toilet, I never wanted to remember my fear.

>>2369719
Why the fuck did she put a snapping turtle in the bathroom? What happened to it later?

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>>2369673
>>2369680
>>2369709

>>2369750
it's coyote taught me how https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fy_FM_ql03g
>>2369680
sorry I'm not a manlet

>>2369750
Nigga just scoop it up with a shovel

>>2369750
damn nature, you scary

>>2369750
lol don't be such a pussy.
When we were kids like 10-12 or so my brother and I found a big ass alligator snapping turtle in a creek. Picked that fucker right up and carried it a mile or so back to our house and kept it on the porch and played with it lol. Over night it wandered off I guess back to the creek.

>>2369780
Oh, and we just went around behind it and grabbed it by the sides. Shit worked fine.

>>2369780
probably a common snapping turtle which weigh around 50ish full grown on average I think. they'll still bite really hard though. I don't think a 10 year old could pick up a couple hundred pound turtle

>>2369780
>>2369784
my bad I read that post was about common ones now

>>2369750
>pick it up from behind
>but look this section says the best way to pick it up is from behind!
ok

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For reference, there are two types of snapping turtles: alligator snapping turtle in OP pic and common snapping turtle in this pic. An alligator snapping turtle is actually pretty mellow and will only bite you if you are right there by its mouth. A common snapping turtle is super aggressive and will attack from several feet away.

I learned this from this interesting video where they compare them both side-by-side: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRrWiW1o19E

*teleports behind you*
*grab by the top of the shell above the head*
what the fuck did you just say

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>>2369960

I've seen both common and alligator snappers in the wild, and I live in Ontario. It's like some of these American biologists are literally retarded and never leave their own hick state. Snappers live all over the place you stupid cunt, not just in America.

Not insulting you Anon, just the faggot in that video.

>>2369982

You're a liar, too, so there is that.

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>>2369990

https://www.ontario.ca/page/snapping-turtle

>>2369991

>I've seen both common and alligator snappers in the wild, and I live in Ontario.

You ready to back out yet, liar?

>>2369994

FYI professor cocknose, he's not wrong. It's common for people to dump alligator snapping turtles into the river when they get too large as pets. They're not native to Canada, but they can be found in the wild. Usually they'll die out or migrate south as they don't have any mates up here, but there are lots of instances of people coming across them out in the wild.

Furthermore, the video makes no mention of any snappers being found in Canada at all, whereas common snappers are all over Canada.

Ready to stop flinging your shit you fucking nerd?

>>2369997

Yes, he is wrong and your story is 100% bullshit. Some asshole dumping his pet is not the same as them being found in the wild. That's why they're not listed as such. He never saw an alligator snapper in the wild. He just can't tell the fucking difference between an alligator snapper and a common one.

So now that both of (you) are proven to be full of shit, are you ready to admit this?

>>2370000

>YIELD TO MY INTERNET PROWESS
>ARE YOU READY TO TASTE DEFEAT?
>REPENT FOR YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS, AND I MAY GO EASY ON YOU...

The virginity is strong in you.

>>2370031
Yeah he's being autistic.
But he's also got a point as well, pet alligator snappers dropped off in the wild may happen, but mistaken identity for a common snapper is much more likely.

>>2369668

I don't know about alligator snappers, but normal snappers can not bite through a metal fish basket in my experience.

They can rip through it with their claws though.

Brave wilderness did a vid where a dude got bit with 4 Bamboo slats covering his arm and the alligator snapper couldn't get through it. 100% garentee he wouldn't get through plate armor.

>>2369605
Pikachu! I choose you!