I wanna feel and look smart

>>2364142
A child

A rock.

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>>2364144

Im not made of money, and besides, it doesnt work

>>2364172

naw people dont respond to it. Preferably it would something with facial expressions. Also, if you try it with plants, people dont think youre smart, but instead think youre mental. Its not important how I know that, just trust me.

>>2364203
A chihuahua

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>>2364206

mebe

But I was just in Miami, they're everywhere there

I have bad nerves. idt I could handle the yapping

is good suggestion though, ty

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I was thinkin a guinea pig might make me look smart. But idw people being distracted by cuteness. They should be paying attention to me. The pet is just to boost contrast

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>>2364354

I was originally thinking of a toad with his empty eyes and comatose expression. Being cold blooded, I figured it would also add to my credentials for having a sinister side-kick.

But then I thought maybe people would confuse the empty stare with mockery of my brains instead of being dumbfounded by my genius.

That was only partly the reason, in truth. Actually, I realized I would have to take him out and parade him around for people to see, so they would see how amazed he was at my brains.

But then I realized I had no idea how to put a leash and collar on something with no neck.

>>2364359
Rats maybe? Or even mice if you don't want something as smart as a rat.

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Cats are loveable little idiots.

A skeever

>>2364142
A rabbit. I've had rabbits for years and they're about as dumb as a pet rock. Hamsters too.

>>2364374
The fuck? Rats and mice are both extremely intelligent.

>>2364359
Go for it man, bitches love toads

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>>2364483
>>2364359
Get a pet newt or salamander. They're just as retarded as toads but cooler and will attract more bitches.

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>>2364484
Implying bitches don't like a toad with a dick of this caliber

>>2364487
Never knew that. I just assumed they squirted semen towards eggs like fish do

>>2364142
Cats or chickens are pretty stupid. My cat eats plants in the backyard sometimes, pukes, and continues eating the same damn plants.

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>>2364142
How about a parrot or a cockatiel? You can teach them words and make it sound like you can have actual conversations with them.

>>2364142
nothing makes you smarter than an ant farm

>>2364515
I have always thought that cats eat plants because they wanna throw up. Like they cleanse their stomach or smth. Dunno why

An owl. Everybody thonks there wise but there really not so people will think "wow anon is so smort he's even smartin than owl" and you dont gots to try.

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>>2364374

Rats are pretty smart though. idw be out in public when a rat upstages me. I do like rats though, ty.

>>2364475

mebe. A little moody though. Cats can be quite intimidating

>>2364479

I hear rabbits are moody too, and maybe a bit snooty. Still, a bunny would be nice. I had the nicest experience yesterday with a rabbit. I was walking home and one was lounging in the yard by the walkway and never stirred nor cowered and just watched me pass by, yet we'd never 'met'. I felt kinda nice, getting a 'you're ok' from a rabbit stranger.

>>2364484

They are pretty cool. But idt I could take them out and strut around with them. I tried it with a collard lizard once and almost gave an old lady a heart attack. Something spooked him, and all the old lady saw was a little lizard man running towards her on two legs. I was lucky that despite the screams, she didnt call the cops on me for an unleashed lizard.

>>2364487

is that a shoop?

>>2364515

I like both very much. But I hear chickens are pretty smart, just a bit odd. I also hear they make great pets.

>>2364517

That might be good. My only concern is that I've seen a groundskeeper get outsmarted by a bird numerous times, a crow. No matter what he did to keep the crow out of the trash, the crow would outsmart him and we would all laugh.

>>2364551

An ant farm would be great, but I dont know if they would make me look smart. Collective social intelligence is kind of spooky. I would always wonder if they were plotting a rebellion against me. I already have ants in my kitchen and clearly they are already outwitting me.

>>2364762

That would be great. Idk where to get an owl and I dont think I am qualified to keep one and know how to feed it. They are pretty special. But if I did, could get one and felt confident, and owl would be perfect. I could mebe train it to nod approvingly when I talk.

>>2364554
The two competing theories are they do it to induce vomiting or they do it to get trace nutrients/fiber they don't from the animal carcass.

Or maybe they get off to it.

>>2365016
No that's actually real, i saw a news article saying frog with the biggest dick in the world

>>2364142
A doggo will not only listen to everything you have to say, it will also love you unconditionally, and other people will want to be your friend so they can pet the doggo

Get an ostrich.

>>2364554
>>2365208
Could be because they're just dumb as shit. Silent water does not run deep.