Im looking for chickens

Flightless bowling balls of meat with the intelligence of a rock.

>BUC-BUC-BUCKAW
SHUT UP YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE I'M TRYING TO SLEEP
>BUC-BUC-BUC-BUCKAW
JESUS FUCK I HATE YOU
>BUCKAW

>>2364072
You could go for a quieter breed like a Cochin, or go a full size lower and go for Quail to all but eliminate sounds altogether.

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>>2364072
>muh "haha chicekns are le st00pid that means it okay to factory farm them" meme that isn't borne out by research and is in fact entirely fueled by anecdotes

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Is someone in this thread talking shit?

Where do you live? I have a friend in Alabama looking to give away two roosters and two drake ducks.

I'm completely serious. If you are in FL, MS, or TN they'd be willing to work out something.

>>2364072
My two chickens aren't annoying at all. Fuck off.

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>>2364067
I'm starting tomorrow as a chicken catcher. Aside from the inevitable shit and shit smells, what am I in for?

>>2364146
I want to ride one of those beasts into battle

>>2364146
I wanted to know what breed of rooster that was, but google search turned nothing but huge penises.

>>2364098
>>2364154
chicken posting is 2007. fuck off

>>2364492
Ur just jelly because you don't get a dozen free eggs each month. Also, backyard chickens are great pest control.

>>2364169
Don't leave them out in the rain. My cochin gets pissed when she gets wet. Also, always take extra precautions against predators. For a stray dog or coyote, a big healthy chicken is easy prey.

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>>2364510
Pic related. This is Leia when she was really little. I've had her for 3 years.

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>>2364524
Here she is now. Sorry for the horrible photo quality.

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>>2364067

Its your lucky day fampai

Commencing dump

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>>2364571

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>>2364572

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>>2364574

>>2364072
What are you doing, sleeping in the chicken coop? Are you so poor that you'll eat the slop meant for pigs, my wayward anon?

>>2364098
I love chickens and think they are smart, but I still eat them

>>2364571
>>2364572
>>2364574
>>2364576
What fanciful boys!

chickens are violently retarded and obnoxious animals that will kill, shit on, and rape eachother constantly and are noisy and smelly as well. they will find a way to get killed if you leave them around anything vaguely precarious. awful pet.

>>2364644
congratulations on being literally wrong

>>2364649
dumb chickenposter

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wuts going on in this thread?

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At first I was all like

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>>2364667
But then I shat everywhere

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BIG BLACK COCK

>>2364409
It's a Brahma m8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qK65zRZlEkE

Why do some animals have twitchy robotic movements? Is it synonymous with having a small brain?

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>>2364644
>>2364654
>>2364492
>soooooo 2007 braah XDD dont u know chicken is le vegetable? It's 20 le 17 xDDD Trump!

https://www.mypetchicken.com/catalog/Fertile-Hatching-Eggs/Hatching-Eggs-Light-Brahma-p2351.aspx?pa=6066&gclid=Cj0KEQjwxPbHBRCdxJLF3qen3dYBEiQAMRyxS1XfwoaROQw2-ouW6ISk5B923yEVlImvyKgJBQf0jHUaAsHo8P8HAQ

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Do any of you faggots even have chickens? OP had me hoping for a proper chicken thread here.

>>2364576

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Silkies are good if you want something sweet and quiet and don't want eggs that much.

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My pigeon has a crush on my lil brown hen.

>>2364409
Try typing Big bad cockerel or Angry chicken.
BBC Nasty Chick for short, should find it.

>>2366878
>BBC Nasty Chick
this was the first result
http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-37711828

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Does anyone keep or has kept chickens and have any stories?

I would love to keep chickens but cannot. I would love to read some chicken stories. Im told they can be excellent pets and are very relaxing, and I get great peace reading about chickens from people who keep or have kept them.

>>2366975
One time my chicken woke up and had a bad dream. I was worried a mouse might've gotten it while it was sleeping and ran in. My poor little hen was bawking and I scooped her up and put her diaper on and cuddled her. U was gonna just cuddle her until she went back to sleep but wound up falling asleep with her and when I woke up we were sharing a pillow. Such a cute little chicken.

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Thank you to those sharing pics. I often keep /an/ pet pics, especially chicken ones.

I also like to hear from ethical ranchers, who are heroes to me.

Just some chicken vids

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpZyDSnZ6VM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFfK1Zla1b8

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>>2366976

Thats awesome. Thank you for sharing that.

Its bed time for me now too, but I will be back tomorrow, hopefully to read more.

Have a good night, /an/.

if i get one ill name it little jerry

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One of my roosters.

>>2367696

very nice

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What is your opinion on cockfighting?

also, junglefowl chickens are pretty badass looking, especially when fighting.

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>>2367757

A culture that takes amusement from an event that ends in a dead animal has different values than me.

Because there are natural factors involved apart from human intent for gain by producing such entertainment, namely the intent of one animal to defeat another, I can't go as far as to call it 'wrong'.

I would have to say it is simply different.

I didn't have a problem with bull fighting until I learned how they wounded it before the fight. I can't say I'm against it because I feel there has to be a firm line between animals and humans or you end up with insanity like the Great Ape Project and people trying to declare great apes to be legally people. They sound unrelated, but I think they are. Or Peta claiming that monkeys who take selfiies own the copyright.

I feel empathy for animals is as important as recognizing them as animals. Somewhere in the balance there is room for both a recognition of the food chain and the moral demand for compassion as humans.

While affairs in Africa regarding wildlife preservation dont particularly surprise me, China is an area that puzzles me on animal treatment, because it seems they should be more empathetic to animals than they are, and animals figure heavily into their culture as well. Yet the Chinese seem to see animals as little more than animate plants with faces.

Regarding Africa, I think it is a poor assessment of humanity that we will let some savages determine which creatures shall become extinct from the planet for all eternity so that a few will earn some coin for things they will forget about a year later.

I challenge the term 'African nation' on its fundamental validity as a modern concept, and suggest that ultimately there is no such thing as an "African" any more than there is an actual "Haitian government", but that is another matter...

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>>2367938

... I suspect these positions will be learned by opportunity, again, and not by philosophy. Our civilized parameters for discussion outside of science seem to indicate that its impolite to mention that the family dog has a tail if the dog can understand what you're saying.

Being impolite is one thing. We go to the extreme of pretending that its not a dog.

>>2364697
chickens and some other birds like cranes bob their heads to keep their eyes in proper position and stabilize it

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I have a story that continues to amuse and irritate me.

>Have 6 chickens of various types, because bosslady cant make up her god damned mind
>Have two Slikies, Rufus T Justice (big and black) and his bitch (retarded and white)
>Silkies do what birds do, and we decide to let her hatch her eggs
>Out comes two females and one shiny new rooster
>New rooster is a fucking asshole
>Once grown, he immediately tries to kill the awesomeness that is Rufus T Justice, his own father
>Nearly succeeds, before we intervene
>New rooster, who we have named Ruckus, must go
>We must protect the rest of them from his madness
>Later, see stepdad walking by window, limp black rooster dangling from giant carpenter-hardened man hands
>The deed is done
>But wait
>Three hours later
>Ruckus is standing outside the chicken coop
>Bedraggled, torn, but alive
>And staring at everyone around him, as if in defiance of the world
>We did not touch zombie chicken
>He stayed outside the coop for the rest of the year
>He's still fucking there now, even though the coop's gone
>He wakes my ass up every morning at 5:45am
>Cant catch him, cant shoot him, so he persists
>Nothing has slain him for over a year
>However, the jokes at my stepfathers expense were unending
>He was unable to correctly choke his chicken

>>2366815
What a pretty bird

>>2366878
no, bro, I found it searching for "Huge Black and White Monster Cock"

>>2364169
More maintenance than a fish
Less maintenance than a dog

You might catch the chicken bug and think "I'm just going to have 3 chickens" and end up with 26 of them.

I put chickens in my front yard, it's gated but you can see in easily. People walking past the front of my house would bring their kids to look at the chickens all the time and laugh because they look so funny lol and are just roaming about. One of them got sick though so I had to put him down, not much of a story but yeah chickens poop a lot but they are fun to touch and hold and when I would open the front door they would slowly make their way over and I would just pick them up off the ground and cuddle them then always stroke their feathers and neck. They are quite noisy after laying and they poop everywhere but you get free eggs and they are funny animals and fun to touch. I miss my chickens but at the same time maintaining their coop and cleaning up after them is a hassle now gone too. Chickens are p awesome tho, sorry for no pics I can't really be bothered

>>2368292
Also you must touch them when they are babies if you want to touch them as an adult otherwise they will flee from you

>>2366975
A few chickens I've kept over the years have gotten really attached to me. As in, running out to the front yard and asking to be picked up when they hear me get home levels of attachment. These ones usually don't get along that well with the other hens, so they hang out with me instead. I loved going out on the back porch on crisp summer mornings, sitting on my bench swing, and hearing the click clack of claws on the deck after a few minutes of swinging. Doggo on one side, chicken on the other, and a cup of coffee in my hand. Comfy shit.

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why he jump

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vote your fav

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chabo powerful

>>2368619
Is that male and female? Can they really sit together without attacking eachother?

>>2368621
They're royalty. The prince and the princess. They're very docile.

>>2368621
Chickens can be very chill.

>>2368651
I know hens can, but roosters?

>>2368755
Depends on the rooster. Some are as chill as hens. Some are even more docile than most hens. Some will run up to you and slash your legs. All in the individual and breed.

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>I found a single raisin in a plant pot once.
>Better jump into every other pot and kick dirt everywhere to make sure I don't miss any more.

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>>2367977

I have 6 chickens of various types (because bosslady cant make up her god damned mind); two Slikies, Rufus T Justice (big and black) and his bitch (retarded and white). Silkies do what birds do, and we decide to let her hatch her eggs, and out comes two females and one shiny new rooster, but the new rooster is a fucking asshole.

Once grown, he immediately tries to kill the awesomeness that is Rufus T Justice, his own father and nearly succeeds, before we intervene, and we decide the new rooster, who we have named Ruckus, must go to protect the rest of them from his madness.

Later, I see my stepdad walking by window, limp black rooster dangling from his giant carpenter-hardened man hands, and know the deed is done. But three hours later, Ruckus is standing outside the chicken coop, bedraggled, torn, but alive, and staring at everyone around him, as if in defiance of the world.

So we did not touch this zombie chicken, and he stayed outside the coop for the rest of the year. He's still fucking there now, even though the coop's gone, and wakes my ass up every morning at 5:45am. I cant catch him, cant shoot him, so he persists, and nothing has slain him for over a year. However, the jokes at my stepfathers expense were unending:

He was unable to correctly choke his chicken.
___________________

This edit was brought to you by "Syntax: Reading a good book doesn't mean you have to go blind anymore!"

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>>2367977
>>2368292
>>2368498
>>2368615
>>2368617
>>2368618
>>2368619
>>2368620
>>2368978


Thank you all for these chicken stories and pictures. I've really enjoyed reading the stories and seeing pics of your chicken friends.

Know that somewhere in the world, there is an anon stuck in a small flat feeling its a much cozier world knowing you had or have these wonderful animals.

>>2364659
>>2364667
>>2364672
>>2364679

These were great too, and any others. I've looked at and read everything, and appreciate it.

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>Oh hey, our owner made us individual nesting boxes in our clean and well-ventilated coop
>Let's fight over a bamboo plant in a pot instead

I love the egg production these birds have, but I feel like I got a slightly dumb batch of chickens this time.

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>>2369106

What fine looking birds though. What a joy it must be to have such lovely animals to love, and to be rewarded with so many fresh eggs. No wonder the whole world loves them.

In simpler times, I could have taken such joy doing nothing but keeping hens and providing the local market with eggs and proudly keeping my birds. Not much can compare with the natural, balanced and wholesome practice of ranching well kept birds that give so much food and ask for little more than the respect of good care.

Alas, Im stuck in the modern city. How I'd like to be in those times, or at least such a place. I'd try to keep the best chickens I could and invite everyone to appreciate what a gift chickens are.

Must go, thank you.

>>2367977
He sounds like the best rooster ever. Why not reward him for being jojo? If i had a cock like that id buy him a harem

>>2369106
Hens gonna nest where they see fit, but are you sure they aren't trying to dust bathe in it? Could be if they don't have enough loamy soil in their yard to dig holes in.

>>2369106
Try putting a golfball or something else vaguely egglike in their nesting boxes to help form the idea in their minds that that's what they're for.
I'm not sure why you're bothering with individual boxes though. You shouldn't need more than one unless you have 5+ chickens all in peak laying condition.

>>2364169
A dollar an hour.

>>2367757
I'll take the unpopular opinion on here. I like the sport. These types of chicken breeds would just kill each other anyway. The sport has been around since the earliest cultures.

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>>2369099
frizzles make best pinecones

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>live with 3 room mates
>ask them if they want chickens in our backyard
>they like the idea and agree to it
>ask them if they want a rooster too
>they agree to that too
>ask them again a few days later, because these animals can make a shitload of noise if you're not used to it
>they still want to have a rooster with the hens
>all of them grew up with chickens at home, I expected them to know what they were in for

>one week later
>"I woke up at 4am thanks to your rooster"
>"your rooster can't stop crowing"
>everybody is pissed off because they didn't expect a rooster to do the one thing every rooster does
>everybody suddenly denies ever wanting a rooster
>put all the blame and responsibility on me
>tell them it's fine, I'll get rid of it and make soup of it
>"no you can't do that, that's terrible of you"
>now room mates see me as some sort of sociopath for wanting to kill an animal, even though they eat meat every day
I think the animal itself is great, nice character, takes care of the hens, healthy too. Never took an hour of my sleep, even though my window is right next to the coop.

>>2371325
I used to have a bedroom with the window being right under a deck. My hens liked to dust bathe in the shade right outside that window, and the rooster would keep an eye on them and crow occasionally. Never bothered me; it was just background noise.

Some people are just whining fucks.

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>>2371325
>>2371328
For me, it depends on the rooster. Some, like the silkies, have a manageable noise level to them - hell, ours were so lazy they'd sit inside the coop itself and crow at all hours, which was more funny than annoying, and you got used to it pretty quickly.

Folks bought a pair of pic related though, when they first decided on chickens. Good fucking god, the cry on these things could be heard through shooting earmuffs, clear as day. And they NEVER STOPPED CROWING - I'm talking fucking HOURS.

So yeah, we ate them. Very pretty birds though.

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>>2371325

I'm afraid you successfully summarized why I like animals so much. The alternative is people.

Be blessed and thank you for your chicken story.

>>2371386
put that pussy back inside

>>2371453
That's not my furry murderer, anon.

I live in Liberia and there are gangs of chickens here. People don't take care of them, they just buy them and let them roam then eventually eat them. I've seen a lot of chicken rape in my short time here. The hens don't seem to hold a grudge though, usually the flocks stick together even if the rooster is particularly rapey. Or maybe biting the neck of a howling hen when her guard is down and violating her is just how chickens mate, who am I to assume how chicken romance works.

>>2364146
"I'm gonna beat the shit out of Peter Griffin"

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My cock is super fancy.

>Raccoon broke into my chicken coop last night and killed ALL 8 of my chickens
what the FUCK

>>2372594

What a fine bird.

>>2372596


How awful. Seriously? I've only recently learned from /an/ how at-risk chickens are from places where there are so many critters that I wouldn't think of as having a lot of predators.

I'm very sorry for such a tremendous loss.

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>>2372639
Yeah, it's been a really shitty day. They were adorable silkie chickens too. There are some eggs leftover so hopefully we can start again but damn, we had named all of them and everything.

>>2366975
>Have chickens as a kid.
>Mix of Bantams, Isabrowns and whatever we could find for $1 a chick.
>End up with three roosters after trading with neighbours.
>One of the roosters is my favourite.
>He's less than a foot tall, covered in black and silver feathers going every which way, he was a disgusting retarded mess, but that made him unique.
>This one retard had the hots for this other ratrded bantam and would chase her through the yard every single day.
>One day I'm standing in the kitchen and I hear a chicken screaming its guts out.
>I look over and I see my retard's rapemeat tearing arse across the yard, with the retard in hot pursuit.
>There's a stick in the way, can't be more than an inch tall, but her legs are tiny so she runs all the way around it.
>Not wanting to give up the pursuit, the retard stops just short of the stick, looks at it, and clears it with a determined little hop.
>Using this advantage he quickly chases down the bantam and engages in sweaty poultry sex behind the feed shed.

>The next week we have particularly heavy rains and the chicken coup is a half shelter.
>Go out after the rains to find my retard drowned in the trough that the chickens shit into, his corpse floating in a slurry of shit, feathers and water.
>Pull him out of the water, and yeah, he's definitely dead.
>Knew we had to bury him before the other chickens started to eat him/his corpse attracted foxes.
>Leave to grab a shovel, and return in less than five minutes.
>The biggest of the two remaining roosters has mounted the dead rooster's corpse and is going hog wild - he's screaming his lungs out, proverbially balls deep and swinging on the cold, shit covered corpse of the rooster.
>Immediately feel sick, sick enough to puke, but suppress the urge long enough to chase the rooster off.
>Bury him and never speak of it again.

>>2369090
>Not understanding and appreciating the concise presentation of greentext.
>>>/reddit/

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What's the most badass looking breed of chicken and why is it the red junglefowl?

>>2371325
Get a no crow collar then, it won't completely take away the crow, just make it way quieter.

>>2372596
That sucks dude. I would start over and just make adjustments to the coop/run.

>>2372805
can a rooster fight off a racoon?

>>2372812
Maybe during the day, but considering raccoons are nocturnal and chickens have poor night vision, I would say no. I've seen my rooster fuck up a hawk that swooped down on one of his girls, so they are capable of taking on large predators.

Fucking god damn why can I not find any local bantam breeders (Indiana)

I'm about to just call the 4-H extension. I would just order from a hatchery but I'm just trying to round off my flock I don't need 15 more fucking chickens

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>>2372805
>no crow collar

Holy shit why didn't I know this was a thing. It even comes in a fancy version.

>>2364067
https://youtu.be/A43JOxLa5MM

>>2372641

I am glad you at least have some eggs. I have faith you will recover your flock. Again, my sympathies. I would be emotionally crippled from such an event and dont even have the courage to keep one pet any more, say nothing of many.

This is a chance to learn though, as I hear many chicken keepers have to from experience from repeated attacks from every critter imaginable. If it happened several more times, even then you wouldn't be alone. I've read where experienced keepers had to keep adapting their enclosures to withstand attacks from predators.

I hope you recover soon. No matter what unfolds, I would have confidence in you.

>>2367757
I would ban them but I they are so badass, never saw one though.

I come from a third world country and there are two kinds of cockfight. One where the each rooster has fucking blades on their claws and the other one is without blades so they fight by pecking to death.

My dad saw one and he told me they are extremely bloody. Also, those chickens have to be separated in cages otherwise they will kill each other, they are aggresive from birth.

>>2372812
No. Raccoons kill roosters like they were nothing. A rooster might persuade the raccoon to find an easier meal, but the raccoon will be back when it's bored/hungry.

>>2372871
They're not always effective. At one side, some roosters will figure out how to get around it and crow just as much but with -5dB, and some roosters stop crowing altogether when they have them. Depends mostly on the rooster and some on the collar.