The Kitten That Stole My World

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In 5 minutes after we took it home, it jumped from the first floor. I was surprised it didn't hurt itself. We took it and went back across the street where we found it. We decided to release it there since we had some mean-looking cats in the neighbourhood eyeballing it. We finally released it in the small field across the street. We took a cardboard box with us and a plate of food. We also noticed other pet-plates across the street and a couple of old cardboard boxes. We then took off.

In the morning we went back to check up on it. We called it and it crawled out of a wet box. We provided more food. Another cat approached and started sniffing it. It looked like it was trying to bond. It was weird since the small one felt unease but was not running away. We decided to go have a coffee nearby and come back in an hour or so to check up on it. They were still together, eating from the food we gave to the kitten. When the small one saw us though, it tried to follow as we were leaving.

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Suddenly, the other cat caught up to it and grabbed it from the neck. Blood everywhere. My girlfriend started crying and she took it in her hands; she was all bloody as well. We rushed to the vet, patched it up, gave it shots and sprayed it for bugs and then took it home. Given the circumstances, we decided that it couldn't survive by itself. It would have meant certain death and we felt responsible for being so naive releasing it. I set up a DIY litter box at home, bought food, milk, and let it sleep with me in the living room the first day.

During the day I set games for it to play, downloaded some apps for cats, played it youtube videos. Mostly I was trying to keep it distracted since it was jumping on the computer screen, spilled my coffee (almost on the computer). In a way I engaged with it a lot.

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It is important to note here that I never had pets and I always felt disgusted by them. With this one though, I felt different. It was all over me from day one. We knew we had to give it away because we are planning to move overseas soon. We were looking at each other saying “We can’t keep it” but we knew that deep inside we wanted to keep it. It was the weirdest conflicting emotion I have ever felt.

All was good until a person responded to our ad to come and adopt it. We gave it away, we were ok at first, but after we came home, we were devastated. It was like we lost a child. We don’t have a family of our own, nor we were planning on having one anytime soon. Nonetheless, we have been feeling awful ever since. I can't help it but wake up and remember it every day. I do understand that we anthropomorphised the darn thing and that nature hijacked our nourishing auto-pilot. It only spent two days at home with us after all but now the apartment feels so empty. While I was cleaning the room after we gave it away, it got to me.

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We asked the girl to return it to us but she doesn't even respond to our calls or messages. We don't know what to do other than let time heal the wound. I never felt this way for an animal. I am not sure I ever felt this kind of loss for anything. Reason doesn’t seem to help, much in situations like this one even if I understand that is nature’s theatrical play. Still, I can’t seem to rationalise it properly.

I believe the narratives in our lives play a significant role in how we perceive the world. Mother nature has employed us with certain instincts that we are all slaves of more or less. I could never understand how and why people get so attached with their pets. I found it idiotic and silly. I don’t even agree with the idea of jailing an animal at home for our own satisfaction. In a way they become something else, almost like brainwashed puppets. I still believe that owning a pet or buying it from somewhere just to have around is silly and manipulative. Yet again, I guess someone could say the same thing to me about the way I feel now. For me, the important part, the crucial difference, was how the whole story unfolded.

I still hold the same beliefs about pets. We even agreed with my girlfriend that we can’t adopt another cat to replace it. It feels fake, a cheap resolution, so we can deal with our emotions. I just felt, I should share this experience as a form of catharsis. Loss is loss and we all experience it sooner or later.

>decided not to put it back where you found it because then it would have family
>apps for cats, youtube videos.
>give someone a cat and ask for it back
kill yourself

>>2358515

I did put it across the street because I assumed the family would be there. I went back the next day to check on it and it was still alone. Even tried to let it with another cat.

I tried to keep it entertained since it was all over me and I couldn't get any work done.

Never had a pet. Didn't know I would feel this way.

>>2358504
>>2358505
>>2358508
>>2358509
>I was a selfish piece of shit human until something made me change my perspective, here is my blog about it. Please like and upvote!
kys