autistic dogs

>>2357338
Cute stories

6 yr/o mini Schnauzer
>show him carrot, throw it directly in front of him
>he doesn't know where it went, have to point it out to him
>"Are you a dumb boy?"
>wags tail excitedly

>will eat until he's sick every time, if given enough food to do so

>pushes other dog out of the way to be pet, even if you're already petting him with your other hand

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Mr Henry
>give him a really good bone or treat and he just gets stressed and cries until we take it away
>doesn't just grab stuff with his mouth, uses his front teeth to pick stuff up by it's fringes
>goes ape shit around brooms of any size or shape

>Old pit girl
>goes crazy for smooth river stones and apples
>would carry around, mouth at and generally chew on a stone
>if you had one in your hand she would dance around you, sing-yodel and try to take it from you

>1.5yr old border collie/aussie mix
>barks at the mailman from the deck in the BACK yard
>JUMPS OFF deck that is 1 story from ground
>breaks a bone in his paw
>in cast for 6 weeks
>gets cast off
>doesnt know how to use his paw anymore
>continues to walk on just 3 legs
i fucking hate this idiot

I have a six year old female pug. Ever since she was little she has this bizarre habit where when we give her treats she will go to the corner of the room and sit with the treat between her legs while she looks at us. She will then just keep looking at us unitll someone gets close and tries to take the treat, then she'll growl at the person and eat it. I guess she only likes eating when she's mad.

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>>2357338
Not a dog but your first story reminded me of the time I looked after my friend's ferret in addition to my own.
>Ferret steals anything he can get his jaws around and hides them in his favourite cupboard or under my bed - toys, stuffed animals, apples, tins of beans, work boots, anything
>Occasionally move items from one hiding spot to the other. Usually in the middle of the night.
>Serious business
>If spotted while moving objects he'd freeze and flatten his white self against the dark blue carpet
>Looking after friend's ferret. She decides the treasure needs a new hiding spot - behind the books on the shelf..
>Cue 5 days of two ferrets constantly moving items from end of the house to another, freezing whenever they see a human, getting furious when they find their treasure is not where they left it and immediately tracking it down to be moved back.
Year or so later
>Considering getting another ferret
>Pick up a baby from friend mentioned above to see whether it gets along with my ferret
>My ferret decides the new baby is also treasure and must be kept in the 'secure' location
>Preceds to drag screaming baby ferret around the house by its face and pulls it up into his cupboard
>Emerges pleased with his decision, leaves room
>Baby starts to climb out
>My ferret walks past doorway, sees baby crawling across floor
>NOPE. Again bites a hold of it's face and drags it screaming back into cupboard.
>Process repeats endlessly until we give up on the idea of having a second ferret

>>2357652
>>2357338
Talking about dogs though.
Old Australian Cattle Dog we adopted after a neighbour had to leave
>Tremendously old dog. Cataracts in both eyes.
>Was never successfully trained not to chase cats, motorbikes, skaters, etc
>Had to be on the lead if we might be encountering those
>Walking her off the lead in what should be a safe area
>Suddenly, takes off barking and snarling, racing toward something in the distance
>Looks like a cat
>Is not.
>Is giant bronze statue of a tiger outside local indian restaurant
>Must be appear to get bigger and bigger as our dog gets closer
>Dog decides she's made a mistake
>Desperately tries to slow down on the gravel, ends up looking like a Wile Coyote cartoon with legs windmilling around as gravel flies up and my dog continues sliding closer
>Gets traction and starts running back to me while yelping
>Eventually realises giant 'cat' is not moving. Walks over nervously, sniffs the statue, pisses on it and saunters off proudly.

>>2357660
It's still a good story you smarmy fuck

>>2357652
I read this thinking you meant human baby, would a ferret consider human baby treasure?

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>>2357660
Is your dog pic related

>Dog sees me coming home through screen door
>Barks like I'm an intruder even though he can see me
>I go inside and he smells me and calms down
>I need to go back outside again
>I turn around to touch door
>Dog barks because of the sound of the door bein' jiggled
>He SEES ME LEAVE HOUSE
>Barks at me because I'm outside like I'm a stranger again

Like what even

>>2357338
Golden retriever puppy:
>throw ball for him
>he goes and picks up a stick
>throw different ball
>chases for second, finds stick, takes stick
>throw stick
>grabs different stick

Fucking dog

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>>2357338
My dog just recently decided he's afraid to walk.

We used to walk for miles and he was fine, now he can't get around the corner not then a couple yards without pulling and trying to crawl back home

>own pit bull
>ask "wanna go kill?"
>tail starts wagging

>>2357869
I want to punch that things face

>>2357973
Similar story

>at mom in law's house
>go to move car
>lab in the back yard watches me get in car
>watches me drive around culdicsac
>watches me park the car on the street
>still barks at me when I pull up/get out of the car
>have to say his name to make him stop barking

He's a sweet dog but he can be really dumb at times.

>everything is autism
Thanks for the support guys.
Some day 50% of your kind will be unemployed and I will be all over the place making sure everyone knows how incompetent and bad at life normies are.

Fuck off or get a thesaurus and learn new words. Even better, find a board that isn't blue to spit hatred on.

>>2358392
They're already half unemployed if not a higher percentage. It's 4chan.

>>2358392
Autism is just the "new" word. Most mean nothing by it to people with autism, in fact, many of them probably have it themselves. No need to be autistic about it.

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>>2358419
no kys

>>2358438
whatever, you must have the assburgers
you autismfag

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>>2358392

>first got dog when teenager
>it is terrified of vacuum
>first 5 or 6 times we vacuumed it would shit on the vacuum cleaner when we were done and stashed it back into the corner of the living room where it went

>>2357338
6 months old Great Pyrenees
>Whenever she's hungry she'd nibble playfully on feet until her food is delivered
>One time she is nibbling my feet. I poke her on the head and say "No"
>Stands there in shock, frozen.
>Tears off running around me, bumping into everything as she makes a weird noise
>Headbutts my legs and finally stops
>Keeps panting really fast and loudly
I regret getting her. She does it everyday, by the way.

>>2358538
She's only 6 months old.
She'll grow out of it.
Most dogs don't hit "adulthood" untill they are 2 years old.

>>2357434
You're the idiot. It's typical for dogs to use only 3 legs after breaking one because they associate using it with pain so work with your dog!

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>>2357338
Daily Bark Quota (DBQ)

The smaller the dog, the higher the DBQ.

>have a smallish I'm taking care of for a friend for a while
>one dog literally barks all the time
>it will take 1 piece of food from the bowl, place it on the floor and bark at it while jumping up and down for an hour or more.
>it will do the same thing with a wad of stuffing from its bedding
>sometimes it stares at the corner of the wall and barks at it
>for long periods of time, I can hear it inside its dog house barking

>Old mutt
>Gets really offended whenever I fart and starts barking at my arse
>Scared of ladders
>Doesn't like it when people walk behind us
>Will often accidentally smack her nose furniture and look at me like it's my fault
>Will steal my socks and leave them in random places

>>2357338

From your dog's perspective:

>>Old mutt

The best kind of dog.

>>Gets really offended whenever I fart and starts barking at my arse

Of course I'm offended you're the one that farted.

>>Scared of ladders

Even dogs know ladders are dangerous, anon.

>>Doesn't like it when people walk behind us

Those people could be dangerous muggers, it's logical to be wary of them.

>>Will often accidentally smack her nose furniture and look at me like it's my fault

Your fault for buying the furniture.

>>Will steal my socks and leave them in random places

I'm stealing actually stealing them back from that kleptomaniac dryer.