>*blocks your path* >BOK-BOK-B'GAWK! How do you respond?

>>2339233
stop making shitty threads

>>2339233
i have a scar on my ankle from exactly such an incident.

chicken boo, what's the matter with you?

Put something over my face then hold my hands high up and terrify the shit out of it

>>2339316
Haha as someone who spent childhood getting high in weed and scaring chickens and dogs with hallowean masks and shit

Punt it

>>2339368

Chickens don't have a penis.

>>2339233
Shake a packet of sage and onion stuffing at it

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>>2339233
>BOK-BOK-B'GAWK!

I must say, that is the best English transliteration of Chicken-ese I have ever seen.

How about some chicken stories? I am jelly of anyone who keeps chickens. I hear they make such fine (and practical) pets. How I miss my rural roots.

These chickens belong to someone who posted here four years ago, just as proof that I appreciate /an/'s pet pics and stories.

>>2339371
They have cocks tho foreskin face thaz how they get Rhode Island Red ovums.

>>2339233
If a fucking chicken can successfully block a full grown humans path than they need to reevaluate their life, and make some much needed changes.

/am

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>>2339381
well, it's not much of a story, but one time I put 4 hens on the same nest, and pic related was the result.

>>2339233
I pick him up and make baby noises at him while he stares at me incredulously.

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>>2339233
Tell my boy Squaky to kick your feathery ass you punk bitch.

>>2339472
aww

>>2339381
You don't have to love on a farm to keep chickens. Some chickens love to be kept indoors in a way similar to how dogs are. Just check your city ordinances.

>>2339885
>love
Live. Fuck

>>2339237
stop having shit taste

>>2339233
*unshits katana*
BACK OFF!?

>>2339371
They actually have a little nub where they would have a penis had they not evolved to be rid of them

>>2339233
Pick him up and snuggle time.
Nothing cutter than a tsundere rooster, or a rooster acting badass that you turn into a snuggle sissy

>>2339233
>Cuck-a-doodle-do

>>2339921
This. My little sister saw this thread and she thought it was quite a giggle
>>2339977
I see people who put nappies on their chooks but I always thought that'd make a mess of their feathers. You can probably train them to shit elsewhere though, or just give them a perch with something under it.

when i was 7, i was attacked by a hen. Me and my brother were playing near a chicken coop so my brother decided to scare the chicks. Then mother hen attacked me.

>>2339311
>chicken boo, what's the matter with you?
Kek

>>2339233
>not BWAKs your path
One job

>>2339977
Grain fed chickens don't make nasty shits. As long as you clean up daily, it wouldn't smell bad at all.

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>>2339233

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>>2339233
Sick a Jersey Giant or Brahman on it.

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Hug chooko is my first action

>>2340283
Keep it in an enclosure, dumbass. Keep it like you'd keep any other bird.
A chicken would need like 8 square feet to be comfy for most of the day. Let it outside sometimes and give chooky lots of attention. They like puzzles too.

>>2339233
I'd fus-ro-dah the shit out of it :)

>>2339233

Use block spell

>>2340284
chickens can be potty trained if they're kept in the house, you're just bad at it

>when retards assume their own lack of intelligence is substitute for the bird's

inb4 "I KEPT THEM IN A COOP" that's not the same thing as keeping them in the home moron.

>>2340329
because they were bred to be flightless bowling balls of meat

if all of your natural defenses in the wild involve flying the fuck away and you can't fly anymore it kinda sucks when a racoon or a coyote knocks on your gated enclosure.

>>2340329
Nigger what. Chickens are pretty good at running the fuck away and into cover when a predator comes around. Otherwise they're curious and good at getting into places they don't really belong, but they're also pretty good at getting out of bad situations too. Very few of my chickens ever died of something other than illness or old age, and I just let them out into the yard every day.
I kept Rhode Island Reds though, and they're a pretty aggressive and hardy breed.

>>2339420
/thread

>>2340396
red junglefowl just head for the trees whenever a predator comes around. Some rare breeds of chicken that still retain decent flying ability (nothing you'd find in a poultry ranch) still do this but most are just

>flightless bowling balls of meat

>>2339233
>Y-you t-too.

>>2340342
>>2340332
>>2340329
i remember watching a video where thay said chickens are one of the few animals that understand that things still exist when they're out of view

>>2340425
A lot of backyard breeds are incredible at runflying the fuck away and will roost in trees.

>>2340485
Birds in general are good at this.

>>2340329
I can tell when there's a fox around because, five hours before, all my chickens will go dead silent and either huddle in their coop or hide under my deck.
I don't know how they know, maybe the smell, but they do. Not a fucking sound, not even the roosters crow in the morning.

>>2340536
Mine use to roost in my pine trees every night. Then fly into my mull berry tree and eat some berries. Neighbors moved in and let there dogs run free and came straight over and killed them all.

>>2340547
I've never met someone who owned a dog and wasn't a self absorbed piece of shit or let the dog run wild destroying other people's property. Literally never. I have known at least two dozen people with dogs and not ONE (1) has abused the dog through neglect or let the dog make the rules.

"Your dog just ripped up about $300 worth of suet feeders in my yard"
>He's just playing lol, next time just give him pets that's all he wants.

>>2340553
*hasn't

>>2340553
I have two doggos, and a bunch of chickens.
When I first got chooks, about 10 years ago, when my dog was only three, she was quite defensive of them, strutting around like a guard dog, barking when a cat walked up to them.
When a fox eventually got the chooks one afternoon, she didn't go outside for a week. It was fucking sad.

>>2340547
Yeah dogs are really good at killing chickens. Fucking relentless. Foxes too. They're just so persistent they eventually get them.

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>>2340553

>I've never met someone who owned a dog and wasn't a self absorbed piece of shit or let the dog run wild destroying other people's property

Yup. I've been trying to sum up dog owners in a sentence for the longest time and this description is pretty spot on. I associate them with neocon patriotard republicans.


Cat owners are emasculate, and dare I say, "beta". Think yellow fever white guys who wear socks with sandles. Liberal democrats.

Serious bird owners usually have legitimate mental issues, and I don't mean that in an endearing or memeing way. Heavy aspergers, dyed hair, pregnancy out of wedlock, filthy living conditions, etc. Anarchists or maybe green party.

>>2340553
You make it known that any dogs that goes within a mile of your foul will get shot.
A fucker dog came in and killed my chickens and got away, he came around again though I shot the cunt.

The owners were pissed but every old farmer man in the area backed me up because they despise loose dogs.

I cannot fathom how people let their dogs run wild, I would panic is my dogs were missing from my yard, they only leave the yard on a leash and even though they are trained I have the yard fenced like a fortress.
Ireland is pretty strict on the law but if your dog kills livestock such as sheep your pocket will be hit hard and to add insult to injury you will have to put the dog down and pain for it.

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>>2339233

>>2341707
>I cannot fathom how people let their dogs run wild

MUH NATURRRRR GUDD MAN BAD WOVES RUN FREE IN DA WILD SO PUPPY MUST RUN FREE TOO BECAUSE IT WOULDN'T BE NATURRRR OTHERWISE

Gaia seems to support every boneheaded decision by ingrates as soon as it's made, have you noticed? It's the classic excuse whenever they fuck up.

Somehow I don't think Gaia is all that entertained in reality.

>>2339977
Oh yeah. They smell like shit, but you can potty train them. All it takes is a clicker and some meal worms.

There is this rooster across the street from me who has the most autistic crow I've ever heard. He never shuts up day or night and I love it. He makes me comfy. I named him Ricardo

>>2341891
You... named someone else's cock?

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>>2341891

thats pretty cool

>>2340123
Only answer I was looking for

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>>2341707

Well, I suppose its a matter of civility.

Here in my city, a man had his dog walking around his property while he worked on a car. Some immigrant shot it to death with an arrow for no reason.

I suppose its how you look at it. On the surface, I suppose its an animal issue. But more broadly, its a matter of civility, which is why we have laws.

So much of community is respect and rules. Some people enter a quiet neighborhood and think "Hey, I can play my music as loud as I want and not be bothered by these quiet people". Some are drawn to a well kept neighborhood and enjoy the elevation in living space but have no interest in keeping their own grounds.

Likewise with animals. People dont want their animals harassed and tormented but because their world revolves around them, allow their animals to roam where ever they like.

Simply, not every being within a society is inclined to subscribe to and participate in it.

Loose dogs are an issue almost everywhere. I am sorry your chickens were lost. At least you got some justice.

>>2341691
ok so what animals are you supposed to own, or is everybody retarded?

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>this thread

I had no idea keeping chickens was so prone to attacks from others. Its sad reading about all these anons losing their chickens, especially to the pets of others.

>>2341931
I guess that if you ever wanted an excuse to shoot your neighbor's unruly pets, getting chickens would be a good start

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>>2341931
this is why I keep mine indoors. (and because they're adorable cuddly balls of fluff)

>>2341691
>cat owners are liberal democraps
But I'm a diehard trump dumper and I have cats...

>>2341930
The edgy contrarian will never give up his own preference out of pathological fear of getting mocked by the same forces that produced it.

stab it

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>>2341993
patrician taste

>>2341993
>>2342114
How do you keep them from shitting up your living space?

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>>2342214
>>2342214
Puppy pads and a pen to sleep in. I wouldn't be able to stand them shitting anywhere. Chicken shit is literally one of the worst smelling things on earth. I'm thinking about getting them diapers for when I take them places.

>>2341691
I don't let my dog destroy other peoples property. I kick his ass when he wrecks my shit.

>>2339298
>getting rekt by dinner

I'd be ashamed to admit that, even on an anonymous Sudanese fly fishing forum.

>>2342614
he was an exceptional rooster. big. aggressive. strong. took two falcons working together to finally bring him down. i'm not even mad at the falcons he was an asshole.

I'd pull out my far larger, superior brown rooster and record him fucking the white rooster's hens. Then I'd sell the clips on BAWKED.com.

>>2339233
*teleports behind it*
Nothin personal kid

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>>2342903
>BAWKED.com.

>>2341930
Everybody is retarded, even me