Ultimate Horse General

>>2337986

She wants it missionary.

>>2337987
>two posts

That was quick.

>>2337983
Link the last thread fogat >>2329174

Also what the fuck, we burned through that one.Usually they're up for a month.

>>2338143

Certain topics generate a lot more posts than usual.

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[sips ultimate tea extremely]

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>>2338143
Well it was an extreme horse thread.

>>2338430
What the fuck?

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Top 10 Anime Battles

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>tssphphphphhpfphpshpfhphph

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>>2337987

>>2338544
>bup bup

I had a dream about two horses last night. One was really fun and was almost too intelligent for a horse but was too small to ride and the other was really flighty and wanted nothing to do with me but was perfect for riding and when I woke up my eye was bleeding.

>>2338641
Run, doggo!

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>>2338641

Always fun to watch dogs who don't have enough training and manners to stay out of the paddock run into a big boss mare.

>>2338904
holy shit that's terrifying

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>>2338904
My neighbor has a dog like that. It's around several horses every day but still gets bitten and thrown. It's one of those dogs that just gets more excited if you scold it.

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>>2338916
that horse is rather dapper

>>2338385
this guy gets it

>>2338904
I once saw a dog biting a horse's ankle. He's lucky the horse ignored him

>>2338630
we will never know.

>>2338924

>FEEL'S LIKE I'M WEARING NOTHING AT ALL

>NOTHING AT ALL

>NOTHING AT ALL

>NOTHING AT ALL

>>2338641

not physically possible to pin the ears farther back.
holy shit, that hoss is PISSED.

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[wobbling intensifies]

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yes yes, that's the way it is

yes

>>2339124
>Stupid sexy horse Flanders
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flanders_(horse)

I have some questions for you horse fans:
why do you like horses?
Do horses have feelings and if yes, how can you tell?
How does one get over their fear of horses?

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>>2339362
They're big nice animals you can hang out with and do things. They all have their little quirks and they have at least rudimentary feelings but the jury is out on how deeply non-humans feel things. They produce the same hormones that illicit feelings in us but the jury is out on what exactly is going on back there.


Just get some time around them, ask a horse place if you could meet some one day with their owner and gradually interact with them. If you're careful and know what not to do you should be safe enough.

Has anyone got a way to distract nice but extreme horses from grooming you while you're brushing them?

I touched a horse eye on Sunday.

>>2339412

I like tying a spare lead role to the bars of a stall. Keeps them plenty occupied for a while, and it's easy to put back to buy even more time.

>>2338641
IT"S A XENOMORPH. RIPLEY GET THE FLAMETHROWER

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>look ruffy, all this ass will be yours one day

>>2339338
lmao what the fuck

>>2338927
L-lewd...

>>2339647

the smugness is off the fucking charts.

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>>2339647

>>2339647

>touch the mare

>DO IT NOW

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>>2339127

>>2339553
A rope? Like danging from the rafters?

>>2340143
What makes them so angry?

>>2340179
when you try to be more smug than them

>>2340162

No, just in knots at about mouth level. It's rare I meet a horse who doesn't love untying things.

>>2340143
>ears probably doing a 360°rotation
>tensed nostrils
>dat posture

fffffffffffffffuuuuuuuck. someone is about to get BTFO

>>2340185
I hear that. I know one that steals my belt all the time. I'll give it a try.

>>2338904
>Swiggity swooty

>>2339647
Is that horse unhealthily large or is it just the breed?

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>>2340308

It's a draft so it'll be pretty thick no matter what, but it is quite fat.

>>2340352
Well that's a buzz kill
Like that fat tiger in the zoo thread
This Danish comedian lady got in trouble with social justice types for saying fat kids is child abuse

>>2339412
I volunteer as a distraction!

>>2339412
I think you want the extreme horse general, this is the ultimate horse general. Unless you have an ultimate horse issue I suggest you leave. There is no room for discussion of extreme horses in this thread.

>>2340143
This is terrifying

>>2340408
>>2340352

That chart is NOT suitable for every breed.

Using this particular chart on Belgian drafthorses or Comtois would mean that every single one of them is too fat which is wrong.

>>2340530
Suppose I'll have to wait for the turbo horse thread in April.

>>2340713

The body condition rating (which this chart lists off pretty well) is used for every horse, from tiny Falabellas to massive Percherons. The exact same chart is also used regardless of breed, age, gender, job, pregnancy status, etc.. It's just easier, more efficient, and safer to have one rather than hope that people are properly keeping track of multiple rating systems.

However, which numbers are good or bad is variable based on all those conditions. An 8 on a Belgian would be far less concerning than an 8 on an Arabian, but none the less both will be overweight. In the same way it's not at all unusual for healthy race horses to be 3.5's, but a draft and many pony breeds with this score would be on death's door if they could even get that low.

For a healthy draft, you generally want them to be at around a 6 or 7.

>>2340745
Thanks for the elaborate explanation

>>2340527
They practically eat your entire body

whats up with all these weird looking dogs?

>>2340876
I'll die happy and loved

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I ride western, but I only know how to guide the horse with my right hand. What now?

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patented butt scratching technology

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>>2341241

>tool usage

THEY'RE EVOLVING

>>2337983
Is that the ultimate horse?

>>2337983
Why is it so fuzzy?

>>2341517
It is. They tested it against every other horse we have access to. We can at least say it's the ultimate horse on this planet.

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>>2341523

Unclipped winter coat. It's really a night and day change.

>>2341608
Nearly grooming time. Going to be extreme.

>>2341523
It's a fluffy pony

>>2341608
>Unclipped
Ours just naturally groom it off each other.

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>>2341626
>tfw fascinated by fluffy biology and want someone to write/draw an in-depth look at their life cycle and social behaviors

>>2341636
There's a whole website dedicated to that you know...

>>2341602
There are ultimate horses on other planets?

>>2341653
You have no idea. There's one mare we measured that had seventeen trillion solar masses. Empires have risen and crumbled in the time it takes her to blink.

>>2338720
Congrats anon, you've awakened the Mangekyou Sharingan

>>2341637
I don't like torture porn. I want actual (fictional) in-depth analysis on what makes them the dysfunctional little pests that they are and the work that would go into caring for them.

>>2341718
There's a bunch of that. Tagging is a bit all over the place though

>>2341718
they're like toy dogs

Is there a pattern with smaller horses being totally mad or just coincidence.

>>2338544
YES SIR I LIKE IT

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Everyone

STAND THE FUCK BACK.
MOST EXTREME HORSE COMING THE FUCK THROUGH NOW

>>2342259
A mare was doing that to the max at me today after she had a drink.

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>Horse in a movie/show
>It rears and neighs

>>2342285
my ex was exceptionally autistic about that.

she ALWAYS reacted annoyed when they used cliche horse sounds in movies and she always instantly told me how that particular dubbed noise was completely wrong for the scene.
I kinda feel sorry for my ignorance since I know how she feels because I feel that way when it comes to my hobbies (music and cars)

>>2342285
we also need much more horse reaction pictures. I only have a few and that's not enough.
that one was a cool addition, thanks for that.

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>>2342289

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I hope asses are fine, too

>>2342304
No!

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>>2342305
too late

Anyone else collecting all the shed winter coats to make a really weird sweater?

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>>2342310
Need more horses on computers.

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>>2342316

>>2342315
Sadly, I don't have the horse for that

>>2342315
I always buzz my hair off for summer and just throw it outside

Birds line their nests with it and it's gone within an hour

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need to photoshop in pepe's flying popcorn

>>2342322
I could fax you some?

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>>2342287

Watching horses in movies always drives me crazy, even if they're silent. The actors on them rarely if ever can ride, but they've been put on a horse with shanks (and generally pretty big ones). The poor things spend the whole scene desperately flinging their heads to relieve the needless pressure, which generally results in even more pulling.

>>2342351
>nods at incredible hihg Speed

>>2342370
At least they're not running them off cliffs/tripping them with wires anymore. Baby steps

>>2342418

While the other one was solved with stronger regulation and clever training, I just don't see this one getting better. Actors are, and will, not be chosen based on riding ability. At best they get a handful of lessons beforehand to get them just good enough because it's too time consuming and costly to make them good.

And, while these horses are brilliantly trained, they're still horses in a strange, cramped, and oftentimes chaotic environment. There's a great chance they could maim or kill their rider, especially if that person doesn't have the strength or know-how to get them back under control. So shanks are used to force compliance, because in an argument between the safety of a multi-million dollar actor and the temporary discomfort of an animal the animal will lose every time.

>>2342462
You're right. It's a lousy situation and it'll stay lousy. You can drive yourself crazy thinking about all the unnecessary suffering in the world though.

>>2342370
Prepare your butt for rage: Part of that is even intentional because those fucking movie makers want the horse to be "animated" instead of being too calm and "boring".

Kinda similar: Cars are usually revved up hard just to get moving or even accompanied with tire screeching.
Top level retardation (and happens way too often in movies): Tire screeching on gravel, mud, grass etc.

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>>2342511

Oh yeah, I can absolutely believe that. Welfare takes a backseat to aesthetic more often than not.

Pic related, abuse of the bearing rein in Victorian times to make the horses look regal. Really just impeded breathing and pulling ability, but why would you need either one for a cart horse.

Do mares still fall in love with geldings?

>>2342957
Do girls fall in love with you?

>>2342978
no

>>2342511
>Kinda similar: Cars are usually revved up hard just to get moving or even accompanied with tire screeching.

I just realised that the horse equivalent of this is that people always set off on a gallop even if they're going to be travelling long distances, or that horses always rear up for no goddamn reason before they gallop.

>>2342978
The odd one.

>>2342957
They can, but since he's cut and probably not biting and kicking everyone, the top mare will be in charge and the gelding may not get to mount the herd.

>>2343072
There's a mare that's got serious hots for one and I just wondered how it works.

>>2337983
I've had the dual horse dream nine times now. Think it's the end of horses as we know it.

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>>2343090
Lettim smash.

>>2343064
theres your answer.

>>2343104
Gelded .

She's like a big egg.

>>2343090
If that mare finds a stallion, she will probably forget about the gelding

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There was this time I was riding a gelding and we got very close to a mare and her foal. He only sniffed at their direction and didn't do anything else. Such a gentleman!

>>2343230

Depends on the mare and stallion. Poorly socialized stallions (IE: most of them) are obnoxious at best, and unrestrained mares tend not to tolerate them.

http://thehorseaholic.com/mare-protects-newborn-foal-from-a-band-of-wild-stallions/

Badass mare barely gives birth and has to deal with a bunch of murderous perverts

>>2343235
Do you have an example of a well socialized stallion? I have never seen one

>>2343231
Lol that horse is biting the dog. What extreme behavior.

>>2343239

I've met a handful, all of them who've had amazing owners who were willing to really work with their horse and make sure he was well-mannered and happy. Some of the best horses I've ever met.

It was basically done by working and housing them within smelling/touching distance of other horses, being very regular and consistent with schedules and discipline, and tons of individual attention. It's a huge job, which is why I'm sad but never surprised that most owners decide to just perpetually box them up by themselves.

>>2339362
They have their own personalities and they're pretty curious and cool to hang out with.
But, when you see them standing around out there, they're not thinking deep thoughts.
So,they're just like everybody else

>>2340185
I enjoy putting carrots in my back pocket so they can think they're stealing them

>>2341618
>Going to be extreme.
I think you're in the wrong thread.
I was told this was the ultimate horse thread.
You'll be wanting to come back in April.

>>2342303
are those stickers?

>>2342304
Yours is

>>2343237
That is some serious shit.
Mom is hard

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>>2343090
>pull rank and demand some fug
>he'll be completely unresponsive or fail
>quickly learn he's a dud and stop trying

>>2343335
Yeah, probably something like burdock

What is leasing? I don't think I have ever heard of it in my country.

>>2343472
Renting a horse basically. Full lease is you pay for the boarding and care and get to take the horse out, meat up with them whenever you like.

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>>2343477
>Renting a horse basically.
hourly?

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look at me.

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LOOK
at me.

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do you look at me?

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heh.

as expected.

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>>2343533
That faggot even got doubles

Are there horses with white sclera AND blue iris?

>>2343521
HURRly

>>2343536
what kind of question is that? Do you see black, green or orange sclera often?

>>2343616
does this >>2343532 look like a white sclera to you?

>>2343657
I'd say it is just hidden

>>2343657
Take a close look at >>2343529

>>2343657
Yes? Is this a ruse?

>>2338641
This is how my dog got a head injury, he hasn't been the docile and spirited doggo ever since.

What's that disease that makes their limbs pop off like champagne corks?

I think it's something to do with mosquitoes.

>>2343797
What

Best way to cheer up a sad horse that gets moody and stares at a wall forever?

>>2343862
food

>>2343862

More turnout combined with clicker training covers most causes of depression (isolation, boredom, stress, etc.). Also get the horse a full vet check because lethargy, irritability, and depression can be the result of a health issue or pain.

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Do horse kicks even damage other horses at all?

>>2343900

Absolutely, especially if they mean them. Everything from small cuts and bruises to broken bones and internal damage (especially if they manage to hit the kidney).

The worst I've heard of was a stallion that tried to mount an unwilling mare. She essentially kicked his penis off.

>>2341626
for you.

>>2343900
https://youtu.be/rNKxNSBabIk

Yup.

>>2343913
>>2344108
Damn. This is why I don't become a vet, even that video of the chest bruise makes me feel bad, it feels like my chest is being punctured.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDV16HUarz0

holy

>>2344120
holy fuck! How much blood did that horse lose to that?

I guess the vet had a good point, it's already out of circulation but still, holy fark.

I heard they sometimes use horses to make cure for snake venom. Do the horses die in the process?

Do any other anons regret learning about horses?

I cant enjoy movies with them anymore because I'm aware that the horses are actually suffering with all those crazy long shank bits and high twisted heads.

>>2344179
that's what you get for taking the horsepill. you can never go back again.

>>2344147

It's not so much a 'sometimes' as the globally preferred method, with sheep as a close second.

They build up a tolerance to the venom, and have an additive which allows it to be absorbed more slowly and produce a greater antibody response. Not fun, but it's much easier to tolerate that way.

Their care tends to be excellent, though, with exceptional vet care and plenty of exercise and pasture. Around the whole, you know, injecting with poison thing.

Can you bite a horse mildly?

>>2344469
depends on hard you want that hoof in your face

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>>2344469
A matter of how much of bullshit the horse is used to tolerate

>>2344472
A fair amount

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>>2344487
You just want to bite into her butt.
You can be honest with us, we're here among friends, you fucking degenerate weirdo.

>>2344494
Nah I just see them doing it to each other for a game and I want to see what it's about.

>>2344497
>for a game
Well mostly it's actually to show affection to each other. They like to do this when they like each other.
So it wouldn't be surprising that if you start nibbling on the horse or doing it with your hands it starts to nibble (You) but since you're not a horse it might hurt like a motherfucker.
That's also why women shouldn't wear belly free clothes since a nibble to the belly hurts A LOT.

>>2344501
Well I'm trying it tomorrow. I'll dress modestly.

>>2344546
k, keep us posted

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doggo teasing the hoers

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the FUCK are you lookin at

>>2345069
>hoers frolics
its so cute how they find a way to play together

>>2344554
Put her head straight up and over mine. Taste like horse.

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Saki Sama,

If I could hug you and tell you that you are beautiful person, I would. You remind me of Thomas the Tank Engine, always dependable. You shouldn't use so much energy covering the lower part of your face, you are beautiful, let the world see. You are special and talented. You give it your all and inspire so many of your fans. When they come to see you it is thank you, to thank you for changing their lives. Thank you, Saki Sama, for entertaining all of us. Forever smile, please become my wife.

Suncerely,

Anony

>>2345198
Did you propose to a horse dressed as Thomas the Tank Engine?

Having spent the last month at a large horse rescue centre, you guys are officially crazy. Horse people are mentalists who can smell a non-horsey person from a mile off- and then act as if they're not even worth the time of day.

Horses themselves are downright crazy. We had a large herd of mares who spent the entire time whilst you were mucking out their field cantering and chasing each other within about two inches of us. We had a few feral ponies in who would physically chase you out of your field, and then lets not even talk about some of the real welfare cases. I've worked with abused dogs in rescue centres before, but horses are just on another level.

Give me a cow anyday, horses are just unpredictable. I take my hat off to every one of you crazy idiots who dares to get on their back.

>>2345239
I've always found horse people friendly. Totally mad but friendly.

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>>2345241

Its easy to be friendly when you can afford a horse.

>>2345237
Her name is Saki Sama she isnt just any horse..

>>2342462
>Actors are, and will, not be chosen based on riding ability
/tv/ here, they are. most just lie about their ability to get the part.

>>2339362
the only people who like horses are women, and it's because horses have big dicks

>>2345241
I always found horse people as spoiled rich teenage girls

>>2345241
I had a work study job in my college's horse barn. met all the horse girls. bunch of heinous bitches.

To the people who work, use or otherwise have experience at barns what do you think causes that craziness, weirdness, meanness that people tend to believe horse people there have?

Is it because its an isolated community which only the wealthy, reckless or obsessed can get into?

>>2345239
it's almost as if rescues are full of damaged animals

>>2345266
By that logic poor people are generally standoffish.

>>2345372
There's also the old rednecks on youtube who keep shitting on all videos in which people ride horses. Saying that the rider is doing everything wrong, that he (the redneck) knows everything about horses, blah blah

>>2345396
It's a fairly isolated community and there's a million different philosophies and everyone seems to think that they're right and everyone else is wrong.
Why it's like that I cannot say.

>>2345198
that is a cute fjord, even though it looks a bit dissatisfied with the whole ordeal

>>2345827
I think it's the little hat that's pushing him over the edge of fury.

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The horses I meet never let me touch their face at all, they only let me touch their lips and then they try to bite my fingers

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is it possible to ride side saddle in any saddle or do you need one like the one in the pic?

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>>2338904
Run dog run

>>2346056
Are you a stranger to them? Try scratching them on their chest

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>>2346056
Horses don't touch each other on the face, so why would they like it if a person did it to them?

Horses much prefer if you scratch their withers or stomach.

>>2346289
They don't mind using me like a big scratching post when their faces are itchy.

>>2346289
>>2346530
Yeah I think it depends on the horse and how well they know you.

Some horses are very timid and like to bite, while some who have been handled more seem to love getting their faces/eyes scratched.

>>2346530
Yeah but they usually try to scratch their cheeks on you. Most not-horse people try petting the front of the horses face.

>>2346289
I just want to lie on top of a horse for a while

>>2346687
My mum had an old horse who was family to us when I was a kid.

You could crawl all over him when he was sleeping and he didn't give a fuck. He was super cuddly and would never spook and get up suddenly because he was a boss.

He died aged 33 after spending his whole life with my mum. I'll be lucky if I ever know a horse as awesome.

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>tfw cant hear [muffled horse noices] in city
I miss that sound and familiar smell.
Growing up with horses was nice, i remember finnhorses being my favorite as they were calm, gentle and easy to control.

>>2346712
Sounds like a rare one.

>>2346281
>>2346289

They are inside the stable, so it is hard to touch anywhere besides the face

>>2346870
Take them out for some action then groom them down.

>>2346060

Possible, but not safe. You still need to sit with your weight central over the horse's spine when riding side-saddle, but without the curved pommel to lock your left leg under, you could be in trouble if you over-balanced to the right.

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>>2344120
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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>>2346717
Pic reminds me of this

>>2347069
Do horses like getting groomed? Does it feel nice for them?

>>2347296
I was grooming one mare for ages yesterday. she kept following me and moving forward so I'd be scratching her flank. They love it.

>>2347296

They try and groom you back. It's great when you get the right spot and their lip wobbles and you can tell they're loving it.

Why can't anyone love horses the normal amount? You either are semi aware they exist or so into them you'd sell your own skin just to see them smile.

>>2347356

I hate how beautiful horses are sometimes. It's like a test and we're all in a simulation and nobody is allowed to talk about it and if you do then you get abducted or something. I'm sure reality is a big joke like that.

I quit my job and got on this wild ride just to get some horse action. Pretty happy with how things have gone since then. It was incredibly painful but at the end of the day I'm a big guy and I can take it. I was doing meaningless office shit for 58 horse a week and I just thought what's the point one day. I don't know if there's an afterlife but if there isn't or is there's no point either way then if you do something you hate till you're too old to do something you want to then you might as well be dead already so I started stockpiling while the money was still coming then I went out and started digging in this pine wasteland just for practice but I was surprised how easy it was/how well I done it and now I made it my home. Nobody knows I live in a hole in the ground comfortably but because they made it so comfortable now it's just so easy with the appliances and cheap fuel to energy converters I never thought to tell anyone and then I was making more money not going to work. If there is an afterlife you shouldn't be judged for leaving the nonsense of modern life because it's just feeding the same monster that perpetuates misery. I mean there must be a reason people are killing themselves because they're bored.

It's weird interacting to the extreme with horses. Every time it reminds me of decades ago when I was at me friend's mother's wedding. It was in an estate house years ago. I must have been 6 or 7. The kids were left in the games room of the house but we made our own games with the croquet mallets and pool tables then we went out and a horse with a face diamond scared us back inside. I remember it being the first time I'd seen pure darkness outside. I didn't see the signs and the poor bastard left this world. I still don't know how to feel about it. I'm still really angry. He had so many people that really cared about him. I'm still jealous about some of the girls that miss him. Horses bring me back to that feeling decades ago though.

Horse mare.
You don't have to put on the red light
Those days are over you don't have to sell your body through the night
Horse mare

You don't have to wear that tack tonight
Walk the streets for carrots
You don't care if it's wrong or if it's right

>>2347356

Because horses aren't like most pet animals where you can stay very casual with a minor time and money investment. Even if you're just taking lessons, it's a big time and money sink that keeps you very centered around others also putting in a lot of investment. Doubly so if you own, triply so if you show.

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>>2342253
Fucking underrated

>>2337986
me in the spring sun

>>2347281
how often do you have to water a horse?

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>Ruffy found a new friend

>>2348312
As much as once a day, but shampoo about twice a month.

>>2339276
>Ah, yes. I understand everything now.
>(doesn't get it at all)

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>You're a steam machine
>You're a steam machine

horses are such a fucking magnificent beasts holy fuck, i have always adored them of how majestic and simply badass they are.

Anyone do anything interesting with a horse this week?

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big hoers and big jump

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Posting my horse when he was a foal.

>>2349442
lol, his face is 100%
>dude...what?

>>2349424

A capriole takes an incredible amount of power and training for a regular riding horse to pull off, easily the most difficult of the airs to achieve. That he's able to get that amount of height considering the huge amount of added weight is very impressive.

>>2349541
>>2349542
>posting NAKED horses

blue fucking board.

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mares be mirin my mustache

>>2349580
>even the horses have mustaches in Ireland

Who is the ultimare?

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why do horses have weird names? what rules do people follow to choose the names?

>>2350776

You want something attention grabbing, memorable, and distinct for purposes of attracting interest to the horse and keeping bloodlines straight. Plus it's just a time to either give nods to famous ancestors (generally notable studs) or to plain old have fun. Especially for strict groups like the TRA, you cannot copy the name of a current horse or particularly famous ones (ex: there will literally never be a second Secretariat) mostly for ease of tracking bloodlines.

Naming conventions vary by discipline and breed. Usually it's a character limit and banning certain words and terms like swearing.

>>2350776
Usually the same as flowers or rocks.

>>2350776
What >>2351108 said. We have a horse named after a flower.

Also remember that show horses often have 2 names. Their show name, and then their "normal" name. Show names are given for reasons highlighted in >>2350814

>>2345591
no just less likely to be nice because they have no access to resources and probably work a job thats hard on their body

>>2351452
Most genuinely poor people I know don't work any job.

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>no, don't touch the nose, ever!
>they breath from there!

NO FUN ALLOWED

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21hse2_LlXs

>>2351524
I touch the nose all the time and nobody can stop be.

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>>2337983

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>>2351535
Same. The horses like it when I touch their nose and lips

>>2351524
Interesting that horses don't seem to mind that you approach them while they eat. Meanwhile if my dog is eating and I touch his face, food or try to move him, he bites me. Actually he bit me once because I grabbed a piece of meat that he didn't even want to eat

>>2351638
You fucked up somewhere, a food aggressive dog is not the norm and is dangerous to have.
A normal healthy dog shouldn't care if it's face or food is messed with while eating.

>>2351654
How did they get the mane to look like that?

>>2351940
magnets

Today I learned about stretching their tongues. is that something you've heard of, horse general?

>>2337983
smegma bean

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I saw a mare and a stallion close to each other, separated by a fence. The male was trying to do something, he almost got a kick to the face, the mare missed the kick.

>>2352343
>horses doing horse things
that's amazing, anon

>>2351940
It's the shampoo

I'm so damn bad at riding horses that I can't even kick the horse properly. I flail my legs instead, so my foot doesn't even touch the horse's side.

>>2352628
>Kick the horse
You squeeze them Anon, you don't kick them.

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>>2352355
Give me a break, I don't have a horse and don't see/interact with them often

>>2352702
Not him but sqeezing does not work on every horse.
Stable that i frequent has couple of lazy horses that need a light kick or a threath sausage factory to go any faster than trot.
Even though they are lazy they are some of the easiest horses to work with.

>>2352702
Please sir, do not squeeze the ponies.

>>2352865
I feel sorry for you. Change your ways before it's too late!

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>>2352702
>You squeeze them Anon

>Squeeze the horse

>DO IT NOW

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Don't know why but I think people riding on draft horses is cool as fuck.

Seeing them pulling stuff all the time is boring, ride them once in a while!

>>2353025
I rode one, it was excellent, only a light tap behind the ear to turn and a whispered command and suddenly going 30mph.
Pretty strange to meet with an animal and have that level of control in 3 or 4 minutes.

But.

I rode him bareback. In a field on the side of the road.
This was 12 years ago and I think my nuts still hurt.

>>2353032
wait, you say you aren't supposed to just lie spread out on them like on a couch?

>>2353007
Why do geldings develop big round asses? Is it a hormonal thing ?

>>2353036
coincidence.

usually the stallions have way better muscle development. you probably just saw more geldings that do work on a daily basis.

also, stallions usually have way bigger necks than gelds or mares. also the roundest butts.

>>2353034
That really doesn't stop horse spine from bashing your nuts like a hammer at a full run.
I had a little better time once we put his saddle on. I was not warned about nut bashing at all by his owners.

Only cool people can ride horses like a couch.

>>2352982
I have no money for that

>>2353046
Just go visit some on weekends/volunteer

>>2353039
I guess that makes sense. I've not met a ton of intact males

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Is it true that hoerses help against depression?

>>2353054
I don't know about depression but they certainly make me happy.

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>>2353039
Some mares have preddy THICC necks

>>2353054
It helped me a bit. When I ride I forget about all stuff that make me sad

>>2353054

Basically every companion animal is evidenced to be beneficial to mental health. They're a steady source of affection and loyalty that don't demand much more than basic needs, and petting has been shown to be a great bit of stress relief. It's also something to speak to candidly, which may be in short supply otherwise.

That horses demand a person goes out to get fresh air and exercise, and generally force them to interact with others, is a bonus considering many mental issues (especially depression) make a person want to isolate and stay in bed.

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>>2353346
>source of affection

I feel like horses give me the cold shoulder though. Even the one horse I ride once a week (he's not mine), I think he doesn't like me.

>>2353346
Also having to clean up an animal's shit establishes routine and discipline.

>>2353365
How long you known them?

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>>2353383
this is true.
also, believe it or not but shoveling horse shit away every day builds muscle like fuck.

even funnier: if you do it shirtless your body will also produce additional testosterone and get more vitamin D due to direct sunlight exposure.

sounds like broscience horseshit but it is actually true and you can look that stuff up if you don't believe it.

>>2353443
I've rode the same horse for about 2 years

Ye

>>2353576
That's weird. Even the moodiest horses come round to me in a couple of weeks. You maybe subconsciously really hate the horse and they're picking up on it? You wear a lot of cologne?

>>2353581
>You wear a lot of cologne?

No, I don't use cologne at all, just some deodorant. I don't hate him, but I'm very nervous and lack confidence.

>>2353616
It's maybe the nerves. It's not even a meme that they pick up on all that. They come at you hard if you're not really meaning putting them back. Might be hard to turn off nerves but you'll probably get on better with him if you're a little more confident. Just try being extreme.

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Alright, say you get abducted by aliens and they say you have a choice, you have to live forever on a human only planet with fresh humans that the aliens made or be the sole human on horse planet where aliens made super intelligent horses forever like that one Gulliver's Travels

>>2343104
Holy jeez, how far along is that horse, a year?

>>2353845
26 months. It's a big foal.

>>2353829
I'd choose the horse planet, obvious

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>>2353039
THICC

>>2354003
The same cannot be said about the rider

>>2354146
That's true, she's STICC.

>>2354146
Well, it's better than if it were the opposite, at least.

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Am I the only one who used to play Howrse? I started liking horses as a kid because of that game :>

New thread link:

>>2354965