Cuttlefish Thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eICyqjtsizo

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More like cuddlefish, amirite?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDwOi7HpHtQ

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SO CUTE!

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Did someone say cuttlefish thread?

>>2125964
....yes, op did

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rErIfc_YArw

They're apparently pretty clever for an invertebrate.

Cuddle fish?

incredibly cute

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNyC1EjY6Lg

>>2125887
I just call them "sea cutes"

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So this exists...

https://www.amazon.com/Someone-Cuttle-Cuttlefish-Shapeshifter-Erotica-ebook/dp/B0087PTMW2

>Businessman Paul is on a beachside vacation to unwind and enjoy the sun, the sand and the surf - sometimes from below the waves. While scuba diving, he encounters a trio of cuttlefish that turn out to be much more than they seem: they're shapeshifters, and they want Paul for their own! Warning: 18+ only! Contains partial shifting, hot gay sex, and a cuttlefish shifter gangbang!

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>>2128088

>>2128088
Dat comments tho

Part 1

I married my husband, Akhmed Pelosi-Marx, during those magical few months the state of California allowed us to do so.

My husband spared no expense in throwing us the greatest wedding extravaganza Sonoma County had ever seen. He made a lot of money (like, a lot a lot) during the '08 primaries spearheading the Obamaphone initiative and blackmailing John McCain with that audiotape of him calling his wife the c-word. He used the $eriou$ ca$h profit$ he made as one of Obama's cronies to secure us two full days of revelry at the Clos du Bois winery, with celebrity caterer Ina Garten (love you, Barefoot Contessa!), entertainment by the Scissor Sisters and a special honeymoon three-way with porn star Jeff Stryker.

Sadly, a blowout wedding does not necessarily precede a blowout marriage. It was only a year or two later that we found ourselves completely bored with each other sexually and looking desperately for something that would bring the spark back.

We tried everything, from Yo Gabba Gabba roleplay to erotic waterboarding, and still found ourselves going to bed each night, our one-of-a-kind 1,800 thread count Comme des Garçons sheets as cold and as dry as the night before.

Two cruel, dusty years passed, and I had more or less given up hope on us ever having sex (with each other) again. Often I would sleep on the couch, passing out after late-night Candy Crush sessions and ultimately unsatisfying webcam encounters on Manroulette. But something happened one night as I was browsing on my Kindle. I discovered "Someone To Cuttle (Gay Cuttlefish Shapeshifter Erotica)".

By the end of page one I was already enthralled. Who was this Paul? What was his relationship to this Sharon woman? What was he hoping to find there at the bottom of the ocean? Marine life, or himself?

Ultimately it wasn't about what Paul, also known in the book as "butt guy", found. What was important was what found him.

>>2128284
Part 2

Three gay men, one of which is described in the book as "burly and broad-chested", are in possession of magical necklaces that give them the power to shapeshift into cuttlefish. Paul first meets them in their cuttlefish form and they use their phosphorescent pigmentation to entice Paul to join them in a sexual tryst. Thinking he is hallucinating, Paul returns to the shore and tries to explain what he sees to Sharon, who doesn't believe him. But the men follow Paul onto dry land, now in their human form, and explain to Paul, in no uncertain terms, what they would like to do to him:

"'I don't think he gets it,' said Apama, patiently. 'Look, we... want... to... do... you..."

And do him they do! What follows can only be described as the Citizen Kane of erotica. I was so aroused, I immediately ran back into the bedroom to share the story with Akhmed. And for the first time in two years, we made passionate love that night. Fast-forward to today and we're still going strong, and I am always looking for new ways to express my cuttlefish self.

This has not been limited to sex alone. Sometimes we'll just be lounging on the couch and I'll lean over and pretend like Akhmed is a crab and I'm trying to use my beak to break through his shell and eat his delicious innards. We found some cuttlefish accessories on specialty fetish sites and frequently incorporate them not only into our love-making but our everyday life. Since I've been unemployed for a while, I've committed to wearing my tentacles at all times and have started a Tumblr to document my transition into a full-time 24/7 cuttlefish.

Akhmed says that if I am a good cuttlefish we might consider species reassignment surgery next year. And if the Supreme Court strikes down DOMA and the slippery slope arguments made about gay marriage prove true, we're hoping to renew our vows in an inter-species wedding in the near future.

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>>2128088
>>2128284
>>2128285
What the fuck am I reading?

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No! Cuttlefish are for cuddling not...THAT!

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>25:27
>beta smaller non-alpha male cuttlefish turn into faggot crossdressing fish to get the males to fuck them.

Holy fuck it is like humans.

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>27:18
Holy fuck female cuttlefish females are whores.

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>>2128339
>to get the males to fuck them.

They actually just do it to sneak pass them to get closer to the females. They don't fuck the males.

>>2128340
As Maroon 5 said in their famous movie line: These 'hos ain't loyal.

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Name ONE marine animal that's cooler than cuttlefish. I dare you.

>>2131278
Mantis Shrimp

>>2131278
I prefer marine flatworms (Platyhelminthes) and slugs. Behaviorally, they might not be quite as impressive, but I think they're mesmerizing.

>>2131280

I once thought this, but their behavior is pretty boring.

>>2131343
when I had one as a hitch hiker, I would always watch it. He even recognized me and came to the front if he saw me. He was chill.

>>2131278
It's not fair to ask the impossible.

>>2131278
nudibranchs are up there

>>2130216
they're so alien.

if i ever rule the world i'm going to drop people in my giant squid tank and see how they fair. i wonder how strong those tentacles are

>>2131344
.... ok, why were you hitchhiking with a mantis shrimp?

>>2131680
I was high. I wasn't really "hitchhiking" as much as I was stumbling around town at 2am and the "mantis shrimp" was a half-eaten Snickers bar.

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>>2131330
>>2131532

Fear not, nudifags, Luna Loupe has got you covered, too.

>>2131678
>i'm going to drop people in my giant squid tank and see how they fair

Giant squid are chill as fuck, you should do this with a tank full of Humboltds.

>>2131788
they're aggressive but not very powerful, I don't know that they'd be able to actually kill a person.

Trial by squid does seem to be an acceptable legal practice though.

>>2131870
rest assured they're strong enough to drag a man down until he drowns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83RuTFzo6dI

There's some pretty neat Flamboyant Cuttlefish footage near the middle of this. Little baby flamboyants too.

>>2131788
>>2131870

Humboldts are fucking assholes. They've been known to damage camera equipment and eat squids in their own shoal. Local fisherman hate them, too.

Master race cuttlefish aren't known to be aggressive, though.

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*Cute-lefish.

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Neat little compilation video.

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOXl9BuCOso

>>2131680
I wasn't hitchhiking with one. A mantis shrimp was a hitchhiker in my aquarium rock. It is a rare occurrence for a mantis shrimp to hitchhike since most rock is cultured in large pools, but it will occasionally happen.

>>2131694
yeah no, stfu. I thought it was a fucking horseshoe crab Tim! God, you can't even fake my own stories right!

>>2132579
Cultured rocks are all the rage