ITT: We describe animals the worst way possible

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Shoots through the water according to the same principals that move turds through your body and tastes fishies.

>>2021535
For a second I thought that it's leg was a weird looking panda and was wondering why they were next to each other.

>>2021564
Same

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A ferocious predator with blood red markings that brutally murders and then devours anything smaller than it. It can lay hundreds of eggs containing its larvae at a time which, once spawned, will begin their rampage almost immediately.

>Frogs
Strange beasties which begin as miniscule fish, spawned from clumps of clear mucus. As they age, they develop limbs and lose their tails, and their diet shifts from water-grass to whatsoe'er they can swallow in their gaping maws. They remain moist their whole lives.

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Green sausage that does nothing but sleep, eat, and churn out turds its entire life. However, unlike you, it will one day be pretty.

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The Picasso Triggerfish is a somewhat-rhomboidal multicolored animal.
Highly resistant to water, this fish has extremely strong teeth that could cut a bug sized horse in half.

>>2021654
That's honestly exactly what I think about those little shits. Not only do they eat defenseless aphids from day one in their lives, but they also hurt the lifeblood of ant pastoralism in doing so.

Fuck ladybugs.

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A giant, fat bird with strong legs made for running and kicking, and a really long neck. Despite its feathers being huge, it can't fly.

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Kinda like a fluffy banana on a hang glider.

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A ferocious dinosaur that travels in large groups, tearing up the soil in their path and leaving their territories lifeless and devoid of vegetation. They posses razor sharp talons that are used for mercilessly clawing into the homes of burrowing animals until they can easily pull them out of the ground in one fell swoop of their razor sharp beak. This combined with the frightening blood-red display on their heads makes them an absolutely terrifying animal.

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A moldy wet razor croissant.

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A cat

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Musky cotton candy.

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this is a panda

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Imagine a millstone, now add on a mouth, beady little christ hating eyes and abominable lateral and dorsal fins and you'll get this oceanic hellspawn.

They can weigh as much as a sedan and all they do is get shitfaced on jellyfish, they fucking love jellyfish and their neurotoxins.

If any fucbois dares tries to disturb them while they're sunbathing off their jellyfish toxin high, they will jump into the fucking air and crash your shitty ass boats or knock you off overboard like the little bitch ass fucboi you are.

No joke they will fuck you up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZgkFPpX8lw

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A nasty-ass dildo with spines

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This is a big fluffy black bird that just wants to be your friend. They like people a lot, and will run headlong towards you just to greet you! These friendly critters will give love bites and playful kicks, that's how you know they really like you.

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The plenty paws fat sphere is an animal without arm.They got plenty paws. Many paws are facing randomly. They have a black collar with a unybrown that impress none.

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Ah, yes, the duck-billed, otter-furred, beaver tailed, venomous, non-nipple-having, egg-laying,double dick having platypus. Oh and they see electricity and infrared and they have 10 sexting chromosomes and no stomach or teeth.

>>2021564
Me too

>>2021535
We should have a thread like this where we try to guess what the other person is describing.

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The polar bear
Cuddly bear that loves people and isn't dangerous at all. Not at all violent unlike their black bear counterparts

>>2025676
The platypus was a mistake.

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>>2021535
A disgusting beast with a deformed snout and bug eyes. Can't do much of anything properly and bred by primitive man so they can watch them suffer.

>>2025682
How racist

>>2022817
That's fucking Morgan Freeman.