Marriage and Friendship

>>18729991

Why would you go and meet someone you randomly dated when you were a teenager? Why would she want to meet up with you in turn if you're both married?

It seems kind of out of the blue to go "hey I should ring up an old lover because why the fuck not that's not awkward as shit". She must have a reason to want to meet up with you. Your wife is pretty much in the right to be like "what the fuck is wrong with you." Not that it's bad to meet people you used to know, but this one has lots of heavy implications. You should be able to see these.

>>18729991

Doesn't matter if you never banged her, doesn't matter how far you went. You're meeting someone you had romantic interest in under sudden, out of nowhere pretenses. Your wife is known to be jealous. This is a situation that provokes jealousy. How are you this blind?

>>18730000
>>18729994
I understand the issues behind it and the complexity but doesn't trust count for shit? That's my issue, she doesn't trust me to just be friends with any woman. Like any, not even family

>>18730053

Again, this is a weird person to become friends with. You understand the issues behind it but you also don't seem to care, and are just mad that your wife doesn't want you to have female friends.

Pick female friends who you didn't previously want to bone, that's a good start.

>why do you need female friends anyway? Does your wife not let you have any friends at all? Are you trying to get something on the side? You've mentioned you've never cheated but this seems to be along the lines of "I want to cheat."

>>18730063
Seconded, to all of this.

>>18729991
Going out with her alone is a bad idea. Invite her over to dinner with your wife. It was inapropriate to plan to go off together.

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>>18729991

Your wife is throwing a fit because you're challenging her safety and it scares her. Love isn't real.

>>18730072
I asked if she wanted to come along and that was an even worse decision than asking to go alone

>>18730063
I don't care really because it is an irrelevant fact. I used to love gospel music when I was that age too but I don't now. People change. As far as female friends go I just get along better with women, I was raised by my sister, aunt and grandma its just what I'm comfortable with.

>>18730107

Yeah, but your wife doesn't see it as picking a tune on the radio, dude. Especially when you're like, "Oh boy, I used to LOVE this song" and that's the only part she heard.

>>18729991
Just respect your wife's wishes. I honestly can't blame her, given how disgustingly often people cheat nowadays.

>>18730125
So I'm a jerk for just wanting to hang out with somebody that I used to go to church with? We dated for all of 4 months. I know the consensus is going to be yes I just wish it could make sense to me as to why.

>>18730162

I explained it to you. A lot. A lot.

In every post I have highlighted WHY. And you're over here like, "I just wish someone would tell me."

SHE DOESN'T KNOW THE FULL CONTEXT OF YOUR EMOTIONAL CONNECTION. SHE DOESN'T KNOW IF YOU'RE RUNNING AWAY TO MEET SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE SHE'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. ALL SHE HEARS IS YOU'RE MEETING SOMEONE YOU USED TO DATE.

That's it. It's jealousy. And in this case, it's jealousy that has meaning, because it's weird for two people who used to be interested in one another decide to meet up 14 years later out of the blue without raising signals. Most people are not friends with their previous lovers because of the strain it puts on relationships. It's hard to trust someone when they're hanging out with people they used to have feelings for - doesn't matter if the feelings are there now, because if they USED to be there, there's always a chance they'll come back.

This situation is weird. If you had a female coworker who just chatted with you about day-to-day stuff at work it would be different. This is someone you had puppy love for, and other girls don't like that. I should know, I mentioned I made out with a girl once and have not even been remotely attracted to her since because of her personality, and even MENTIONING THAT STORY GOT ME INTO WEEKS OF JEALOUSY.

>>18730156
I have and I did I'm just lost I guess. I understand the risk but I grew up knowing a marriage was based in trust and friendship and the whole "risky situation" comes down to trust imo

>>18730180
>comes down to trust
Don't push it. The way to go here is to tell your wife that you're hurt she thinks you would cheat on her, but also to say that you respect her and won't do something that makes her so uncomfortable.
Be sure that you hold her to the same standards, though.

>>18729991

>married
>want to spend time away from wife with another female
>the female in question was once a romantic interest

Lol. Good luck with your marriage.

It's on a daily basis I must consistently be reminded how idiotic most people are.

>>18729991
Thats marriage man.

When i got into this relationship i cut most of my chick friends out and have made zero new chick friends. Its just not worth it.

There are a few exeptions, women i consider family and absolutely cannot part with.

One of them flew thousands of km the other week to visit her family, and this chicks been my friend for like 12 years and weve literally travelled the country together and shared a bed for months and never once even kissed let alone had sex. Definition of platonic relationship.

I tell the wife im going to see her. ,"yeah ok np anon" i must have asked her 50 more fucking times if it was ok and she said yeah yeah yeah. her family is 300km away so of course i crash there.

Wake up (in a seperate laid guest room) to texts from her on a rampage about how im "obviously" fucking her right now and how typical i am and blah blah.

She came around and apologized but i dont think im living this one down.

And honestly i dont care. I have friends who are important to me and she wants to be a cunt about it thats her fault and if she revenge cheats when i didnt do shit and hang with well established chick friends then shes a bitch ill just divorce her ass.


But tl;dr: expect this shit. Youre better off forgetting other women exist at all if you never want to deal with this.

>>18729991
God I hope you're trolling being a retard

>>18730309
This.

Once... your wife was cool with. Twice it's not surprising she's pissed.