I'm fucking done

>>18728262
You need to elaborate more on your situation. I lose hope just like you sometimes. Recently something happened, which left me devastated and in catatonic stage for days. What I'm saying you gonna get through, somehow. After a long dark night a dawn always comes.

>>18728275
Sad to hear the whole story anon, I hope you are better now.

>You need to elaborate more on your situation.
Crap, sorry. To make it as short as possible:
I'm near the age of becoming more or less a self-dependent person. I'm easily a 3/10 person with a terrible looks and crappy personality making many people not like me very much. I have health issues on top of that which makes me stay away from 90% of things (allergies and shit). I'm currently studying a thing which doesn't really interest me anymore and I have no way of changing it. I was working in at least three jobs this year alone but always got kicked out after a month or two for no good reason. My family hates me. All personal relationships I had with other are down the grinder. I'm a cuck as well - all three relationships I had ended with being cheated on. I was trying to find stuff to work at so I could take my mind of this. Sadly, I suck at most things so the actions I've taken only made me more miserable. Once, I've decided to write something so I could better express myself but I suck ass at using words and putting my thoughts on paper. Things surrounding me are telling me constantly that there is no chance in hell I can be happy/productive/interesting/good to myself any time soon and my clock is ticking. Therapies and drugs does nothing to me anymore, hell, I think I'm starting to have memory loss on top of that and I'm very afraid of such shit.

>After a long dark night a dawn always comes.
I was hearing the similar thing over and over for a past couple of years now from the mouths of the different people and I really can't believe it anymore. It starts to feel more like a wishful thinking thing then an actual achievable and reliable elements. Or at least - it feels like this to me. Maybe such a thing never worked for me in the first place.

If anybody needs more info - ask away. I don't think I have anything to hide anymore.

tried to kill myself last year. succeeded, but got found and saved. find that one thing that really makes you want to die and figure out whether you can live without it.

working drives me to suicide, so I'm trying to get disability and bleed my relatives of cash in the meantime since they're rich and don't want me to try again.

I would say that post-suicide I still have given up on living, but that doesn't mean I can't still exist in life, seeing as there was nothing in death. embrace nihilism, I suppose.

>>18728330
>Nihilism
Doesn't work for me sadly although I wish it did. Shrugging things off, saying "whatever" to the potential outcomes was never something I could reasonably do with having a conscious mind, mostly towards others. I do buy to the thoughts of this philosophy but never got it to be applicable to my personal life. Appreciate your insight though. Hope you'll be "better", whatever that implies in your mind.

I feel you op, I really do. I've been crying all day today so i'm not in a state where i could say more that: please don't do it, all of the things that you mentioned CAN be repaired, maybe except for your health but that doesnt sound like a super serious issue

>>18728365
See, if any of these issues I actually managed to repair I would not be here asking the question. Sure, I know that the car CAN be repaired but I even though I've tried to fix it the shit is still broken. And I've tried - since the early existence of these issues I've tried to fix at least the frequency of their occurrence. But all went to shit - the actions I've took seemed to have more of the opposite effect (like occupying my mind like I've mentioned earlier).
I agree, these aren't the worse things that the person can endure or live with. But that actually scares me even more - if such issues makes me on the edge what will happen when something more "scary" or "worse" will hit me? I'm already losing my sanity as it is.

>>18728378
Fair enough, let me see if i can drop an extra 2 cents on your inital posts:
>3/10 person
I highly encourage posting a pic of yourself anon, even if you're kinda uglyish there are certain things you can improve to go up to a 4 or even a 5. For example dressing nicely, grooming/hairstyle but i can't give advice without knowing what you exactly need to be fixed.
Now a personality is a bit tricky. Why don't people like you?
This things alone would help dating and family issues and even jobs

Btw if you want someone to talk to, just tell me so i can set up a throwaway email or something

>>18728630
Might as well leave it here since i'm going to sleep

[email protected]

>>18728322
Step one: hobby
Step two: build a social group based around that hobby

>>18728630
I'm kind of really afraid of posting my face here or anywhere on the web. You'll just have to believe me or call it a low self-esteem issue.

>Why don't people like you?
It seems that the problem is kind of two-fold. I was always a introvert and quite pessimistic ever since I've hit puberty. People like more outgoing, energetic, happy people which is quite logical. I mean, who would like to have a conversation with a sad pepe imitation, let alone having some sort of relation with him, right? I never learned to actually talk to people like that. I'm naturally more talkative to the older folk and I don't have many interest with people in my/similar age. Additionally, I'm very, VERY frustrated with small talk. I don't know why, but when I hear how X bumped Y for Z etc. my blood just boils up ad infinitum. I tend to be quite passive aggressive at that time so naturally I am able to quickly make enemies and such. I was, some time ago, to just be around people who are averages Joe-types so I can assimilate with such conversational pattern but to no avail. So essentially => shitty conversational skills + getting quite angry at small talk = a disaster. Oh, and I don't drink/smoke etc. since I'm prone to that kind of thing. So that's about 50% of social interactions gone with the uni crowd I'm surrounded by.

>Btw if you want someone to talk to, just tell me so i can set up a throwaway email or something
Well... I don't want to be a trouble really. I'm going to send you a meme or a shitty joke though and then you'll decide if you're still into the idea but thanks for the thought nonetheless and for today's help. Have a nice one!

>>18728652
Had hobbies, mostly in the art field. Went through few of these ever since an early teen years. All ended because of high demands I put myself on. Been in a band for like a few weeks until they started to push me to get rid of my garbage mood and "let's go drink ourselves to piss!" which I am very reluctant about.

>>18728674
Wow, quick reply, congrats on catching me awake

Ah i understand, but in regards to looks seek advice from different sources, lose/ gain what you need to, etc... you get what i'm saying, nobody is ever unmovable on the attractiveness scale unless they're born with deformities or they don't want to

And about personality i guess that makes us both crappy kek, i've been through what you mentioned, and i've just recently realised it so i'm seeking to better myself also. (can't give you advice on this, still figuring it out myself)

By all means shoot me memes/ shitty jokes, those make me happy and if you enjoy them too it's a win-win ^_^