My bf wont have sex with me He is always too tored from work

do you smell?
do you shave?
are you fat?
are you loose?
are you a starfish?
is he fat?
is he eating properly?
is he sleeping properly?

many reasons

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Some details

>He is in his early 30's
>I am 10 yrs you ger than him
But I do not think his libido should be this low for only sex x1 a week?

We work out together
Go places all of the time
Visit friends
Have fun in general

I talk to no other men that are not blood relatives
I will avoid becoming friends with guys so he can feel secure

I take care of hom
(Laundry, groceries, cooking, cleaning)
The whole bit

Why can't I get the D!!

Wake him up with a bj then bend over and he will get the idea. Do this everyday btw until youre satisfied.

>>18728259
Men and women who don't have sex because their tired only think they are tired. You just have to warm them up a little - get them excited initially without them having to work for it. Next time he's tired try massaging his back, lean into a kiss, whisper into his ear - you want to give him tingles on his neck. Start playing with him. Don't take no for an answer, don't even let him say he's too tired for it. Literally give him no other choice except kissing you and being in the moment.

People like this, who are too 'tired' for sex, just aren't able to shift into being in the moment. The reason why they think they're too tired is because they're still caught up in 'work mode' and aren't able to be in 'relax' or 'fun' mode. Give it a try. I'd find it hard to believe that he'd push you off while you're kissing him and grinding on him, and if he does then he's really got some issues going on.

Bump
One sec..

>good hygene
>both work out/eat well
What is starfish?

Tried blowing him at night but it leads to nothing for me

>>18728270
Fucking gross anon
Id wager its because he cant relate to you at all because SPOILER youre ten fucking years his junior. Do you think youd get along great with a 10 year old bf? Because thats the same difference. He probably thought you were fun at first but it is impossible to relate to a 20 year old as a 30 year old for long. My guess is the allure wore off and he gave in to the wtf am i doing thoughts.

>>18728270
Read a study that guys usually want to have sex with their girlfriend more if they have more male friends, idk if it would work but you could try it

This is funny
I really do try to force myself on him
It's just when we hit the bed he is knocked out

Or right when I leave to brush my teeth/change into something
I come back and he is sleeping!

>>18728296
Its because he doesnt give a fuck
Literally

>>18728289
I hope that is not the case!
We really enjoy each others company
I am pretty tame for my age tho

I stay busy with school
>at uni studying med
So all my free time is with him or studying

>>18728296
Try earlier maybe? Not right before bed.

>>18728303
His work is probably sucking out all of his energy. That's what happens when you date a man who has a real career. Get use to it or find adult toys to please yourself.

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>>18728291
Hm interesting
I will search for that

I guess I am just wondering if amyone has been on his side about sex
Is there anyone who didn't want to have sex with their partner, and why?

>>18728303
As a 30 year old, unless he's a mental midget, it is the case. Its like two different worlds. You can bang a young girl, but they can never be a mental equal in a relationship.

>>18728311
There is an emotional aspect to it that I really miss
We are otherwise good in other areas togethee
The sex was like cherries on top

>>18728314
There's only been two situations in my entire life where I didn't want to have sex. One, we were pissed the fuck off at each other and neither of us are into angry hate sex. Two, we both fell asleep during a movie because we were that tired. But my sex drive is off the wall and much higher than my partner's, so I'm hardly ever the one that's not into sex that night

>>18728309
Really simple solution
I could try that
Thanks anon

>>18728317
>As a 30 year old, unless he's a mental midget, it is the case
>they can never be a mental equal
Fuck off you arrogant prick. The number of Earth's orbits you experienced doesn't always mean you get more wisdom or maturity. Especially in your case if you think that Age always equals Maturity.

yeah i have had multiple partners and have struggled with telling them that I dont feel like it because I was afraid of damaging their female self esteem

But sometimes I just dont want to. There is a part of sex that disgusts me. It is selfish I know but I would be invited over, and my stomach would just turn. Now, that's not exactly 'tired,' so I wouldn't take my case too seriously. If he is indeed just saying he's tired, then he's lying, like I did.

>>18728289
t. teenager thinking he knows what a 30 year old man is like

>>18728303
Most likely it's work stress. Ignore the bitter envious naysayers.

>>18728259
have you tried morning sex?
I don't think it's you. Maybe he's depressed, anxious. Those are real sex drive killers.

>>18728343
Just because you wasted your life and didnt learn anything to fill all that empty space in your head doesnt mean the rest of us did.
If you are on the same level at 30 as you were at 20 not only are you a failure, no girl should ever tack herself on to you because that is about the worst example you could set for a younger person.

>>18728358
I'm 32 and healthy, sorry the same cant be said about you anon.

>>18728427
Just because you're successful in your career or education doesn't mean that you're inherently better than everyone else. It doesn't put you on a higher level or different world than them. It shouldn't make it difficult to relate to other people. Claiming otherwise is the high point of arrogance and conceit. And FYI, you might be wiser at 20 than at 30, but there are still people half your age who are more intelligent, knowledgeable, and mature than your or I. So again, back to my original point of Age doesn't always equal maturity.

>>18728454
You are pretty delusional m8. Just wait, you'll grow up some day.

>>18728457
Nice argument. Sure showed me.

>>18728469
Oh im sorry, are you somehow entitled to a nice long explanation of why you're an idiot?

>>18728454
Interesting. The anon you replied to set a specific standard as to why x is a failure, and you proceed to get on a soapbox.

Are you aware you hold back discussions?

>>18728472
Kek I don't know what kind of arguments you'e been in, but asking the other side to back up their position isn't an entitlement, but basic common sense. I know, I fucked up and expected a coherent argument from a dumbass.

>>18728478
What was that standard? That all 30's year olds in relationships with 20's year olds are mental midgets?

>>18728492
I think you'll have more fun on /b/.

>>18728259

Force him to go to the gym and strength train. I was also too tired for sex until I started the gym and I wasn't even fat just skinny fat.

Now I can take gf to pound town after work and even after gym session

>>18728492
How's that npd working out for you?

>>18728259
My gf is the same.

Im a construction worker. I am intensely attracted to my girlfriend of 4 years. I still am arroused at the sight of her, i still love having sex with her, and i am as he says.. Too tired, or too stressed, or too mentally drained.

Hell the other day my coworkers and i had a big conversation about how all of us experience this and how much our girlfriends and wives complain. One guy brought it up and everyone else was like "i kno rite!?!?"

My girl friend, like you, is full of her own explanations and rationalisations. She says shes too fat (not fat), too ugly (not ugly), that im too old and have no sex drive (not true at all. Im always horny. And assaulting my sex ability like that is off putting and unattractive and further adds to me not wanting to bone.) and speaking of unnattractive, her incessant insecurity and whining about it also is not very attractive. Wouldn't call bitching "foreplay" myself.

If his job is hard physically, find ways to help him relax after work. If its super stressful, he shouldnt live like that. He may need a new job. You can suggest it but that ones really a him problem. But at the same time you need to find ways to help him relieve stress and feel relaxed.

Other than that, you should keep a log (no seriously) about when he does have sex. What did he do, (advil? Nap? Hot shower?) what did you do (did you get in bed with no clothes on? My gf consistently gets laid when she does that if she goes to bed first. She always goes to bed after me, and i pointed it out, she still doesnt try that shit again.) find patterns try things and see what works. Buy some toys and suggest new sexy games. Ask him to stare in your eyes for a bit. Try everything and see what works, and try it again.


But most importantly of all, do not get insecure, dont blame yourself, dont freak out, dont get anxious, and dont accuse him. Thatll make it worse.

>>18728492
>asking others to back up their position is entitlement

You sound like the type of person who loses a shit tonne of arguments to people with citations, or have none when you blare your opinions, and still think youre right about everything.

Dont be that guy... That guy is a very very stupid bad person and hurts all of humanity.

>>18728524
Samefagging

Op i know its tl;dr but this is honest advice with personal experience and anecdotes and no accusations youre a dumb whore or whatever so check it.

>>18728314
I'm 32 and the reason why I don't want to have sex with my wife sometimes is because I'm a germaphobe so if she hasn't showered in a few hours or has been in the bathroom recently it's tough to ignore that and have sex. Also, if she pets the dogs and doesn't wash her hands, then it's no go either. I do work a lot too (pretty much 7 days a week at times) but me not wanting to have sex with her is not due to high work load but cleanliness.

>>18728563
Thats funny. Howd you find someone to put up with that? How long you been married?

>>18728524
not op, but thanks anon I needed this

>>18728568
Internet. She knows I'm a germaphobe but doesn't realize the extent of it. She actually wonders how I put up with her animals. Sometimes I wonder myself. We have been married a year but were dating 3 years before getting married. I don't care how hot a woman is but if she has just left a turd in the bathroom a few hours ago and had not showered, my dick won't get up.

>>18728594
I love it

>>18728270
You work out together, sure, but you didn't answer the question: are you fat? Overweight? Fat people work out all the time. They'll go burn 200 calories and then eat 600 when they get home.

>>18728593
Youre very welcome.
Honestly I feel bad for my girlfriend. But She wont listen to me.

But if i can be a non bias third party with no reason to make excuses for OP (and you), and help you feel better, then I am very happy to help.

>>18728594
You should be date a muslim. They need to shower before and after sex. Having sex while unclean is like eating pork to them.

Lol jk. Not really though.

>>18728343
Looks like someone got triggered.
Its your lose not ours.

>>18728273
>>18728273
As a guy i approve this message.
My girl friend tricked me into sex a few times like this and i dont regret it.

Thats not bad at all. I usually go for months without sex when im single.
When i work and im stressed, i usually fap once a week or more often when i have vacation.

You have to understand male sex drive. It has its peak during the teenage years, but when youre 30 like me, you no longer get as horny or as hard as you used to when you were in your teens or early 20's.

If your bf is much older than you, maybe you should try dating youger guys instead.. or if you want to stay with your bf, try to do other things rather than vaginal sex and spice up your sex life.

Penetration is not really that enjoyable anyways.

Op maybe you should look into a side dude or just break up with him. Clearly your not getting what you think you need out of this relationship. This will only get worse as time goes on and you'll start resenting him. I've see. This happen to a lot of my female friends.

>>18728730
Do this op, find a guy who will love you enough to bone you more then once a week

>>18728752
See>>18728524


There is more to not boning than "not loving someone". Nothing is ever this simple. And sometimes its the partner complaining in the first place.

If he can't fuck You in the morning then something wrong with his dick. He too tired at night? Fuck in the A.M

>>18728547
>>asking others to back up their position is entitlement
That's the exact opposite of what I meant.

>>18728820
Reread. Sure is. I am sorry. It appears i have a problem with contractions today.

>>18728314
My gf and I are in a similar situation. We still bang four or five times a week though.
>>18728273
This. This is usually what my girl does.

>>18728752
>>18728730
both of you should seriously consider doing a flip

>>18728314
Ive replied to op (you)? Already about being tired as legit and something my construction buddies and i talk about a lot.

But to answer your question, yes there are times i legit dont want to.

Namely after she complains about it, accuses me of being the problem (in a negative way. Im more receptive if she calmly says its been awhile), or the fact shes so desperate she tries to seduce me at incredibly awkward or innopportune times.

Im playing videos games is a fine time to try and grab my attention.

When i just talked to my friends about getting together online and gaming and i just opened a party and i just said "hello"... Worst timing. (actually happened last week).

Also sometime recently there was a time we were having a conversation and i was angry about something that happened that day, and trying to tell the story. I cant remember what it was about but i said something along the lines of "the leader of..." and she cut me off mid story and said "you should be the leader of my vagina" in the most awkward untact tone.

Like first year in the relationship thatd work. 5 years in and living together, with corny awkwardness like that several times daily, that shit gets cringey and annoying. Especially when im well aware shes trying really really hard.

Also aside from negativity here we have overall a 10/10 relationship outside of sex. Thats an important factor. She really just pushes it way too hard when im tired from exhausting work or anxious because i dont know when ill work next (im a tradesman. Sometimes hours and money are uncertain. Lots of anxiety sometimes and when im anxious i have a reflex where i don't want to be touched by anyone.)

>>18728855
No problem.

>>18728883
>I cant remember what it was about but i said something along the lines of "the leader of..." and she cut me off mid story and said "you should be the leader of my vagina" in the most awkward untact tone.
A chuckle and a boner, I like your gf.

Try having a threesome with an Asian girl

>>18728908
Thats why its 10/10 otherwise. Shes hilarious.

>>18728259
You could spike his food with Viagra.

>>18728883
what trade?

>>18728429
cuck

>>18728909
lol

>>18728259
>bf
>sex
Please, do the world a favor and just kill yourself now. Bonus if you take him with you.

>>18728273

This is such bullshit. You've never worked a real job then. When I spend 12 hours of my day on 5 hours of sleep managing literally MILLIONS of dollars for my company with a senior vice president up my ass every moment of it, I am TIRED. It's not time for you to whisper in my ear or sit in my lap, because I can't be bothered to take the time to make sure you feel pleasured and cared for. It's time for me to crack open a nice bourbon and settle down for dinner and sleep.

This is why I'm single right now. I can go fuck someone when I wanna fuck.

>>18728259

So, I almost never post this, but this thread is tough to gauge without pics... How you look affects the opinion here. But anyway, here are the possibilities....

1) He's lost interest in sex. This does happen to some men and some women. They just don't find sex (with anyone) that exciting anymore, and are fine with rarely having it. I have a male friend who only wants to fuck his GF about 1x per week. I dated a girl that only wanted it like 2x per month.

2) He's cheating. There's another broad he is fucking, and he isn't that interested in your pussy anymore.

3) He's stressed out from work, or something else and it's making him not horny very much. It's nothing you did, but the circumstances of his life.

4) The spark in your relationship is dead, and relational issues are preventing him from finding you sexually appealing.

That's it. There are no other possibilities.

As a man who works a stressful job I can tell you that there are some nights when I come home, that there is NO way I am gonna fuck my GF, cause I feel terrible. But even under stress we try to get it in at least 2x or 3x per week.

1x per week is pretty bad. :(

>>18728273

Spoken like a man who has never done manual labor before.

Try doing construction for 12 hours because "there was a fuckup and we need to get this job done as fast as possible", and then you come home at 7pm exhausted and your GF wants vigorous sex.

Nah.

Similar situation here, but less of an age gap. I'm male / 29, girlfriend is 22. We're both attractive, fit, healthy etc. We both have normal sex drives, but rarely have sex. Maybe twice a month. She wants it more often but is not assertive enough to get it from me.

The reason we rarely have sex is by my choice. She just doesn't interest me anymore (dating 6 yrs). At this point, I'd honestly rather watch porn. The girls on the screen excite me a lot more. I find my GFs boobs too small, and her pussy doesn't feel as tight / pleasurable as other girls I've been with. Penetration with her is less pleasurable than masturbation for me. Getting off during sex takes a really long time and I often get bored to the point where I want to stop.

Sadly I will admit that I have had affairs on the side a few times throughout our relationship and the sex is always 10x better. Never had an issue with lust or getting bored or anything like that with other women.

OP, it could just be that he's bored of you or the sex isn't that great. That's my situation anyway.

I don't have sex with my wife much, maybe once a month or less

It's just too dull for me to bother anymore

Also I wish she had bigger tits

>>18728259
You shouldn't even be having sex. You're not married. But if you plan on marryig this guy you really should have this conversation. You need to have a heart to heart that you need it more to keep you satisfied. Maybe getting him in the morning before work could help.

This thread has turned into a long dick contest for who's job is the hardest and who doesn't fuck their girlfriend the most.


------------------OP LOOK LINE -------------

There are a million reasons your spouse might stop having sex with you. Most of them as you've noticed from what people have said ARENT GOOD. Sex is what makes the difference between lovers and friends. You hang out with your friend, you might even hang out with your best friend or live with them. But your lover you want to have sex with. It is unnatural to not want sex with your spouse and if you work to many hours and this is the reason you can't have sex with your spouse(as many have suggest) then you probably work too many hours. The lack of sex is a clear symptom of a problem. Even if that symptom is over work.

tl;dr

1. ask your boyfriend why
2. If you can't accept his reasoning then dump him
3. IIf u dont care, then dont.


Obviously sex is an issue in this situation because you're here saying you want to get fucked more. But you didn't get fucked for the first x years of ur life so assumably it's the lack of affection that really hurts you.,

>>18730431
Why don't you leave her?

>>18728259
I think you are not emotionally ready to be in relationship. You need to examine your own behavior and also why you are in relationship. This also applies to your partner. Even in relationship, nothing is automatic especially when being under stress and tired.

He's probably a faggot who watches gay porn.

>>18730910
Also, as a woman, you probably have a very shallow understanding about male sexuality. It doesn't work by pressing a button and demanding it. There is something what you both need to work on. Modern society is very depressing and isolating. Maybe you are sitting at home all the time while he works his ass off? You expect to be served or something like that.

>>18728883
Sounds like you are just a faggot.

It's only cringy because you are not into it.

>>18730333
All you need to do is lay there with your boner and let her suck your dick and cowgirl you.

Stop being a baby.

>>18728259
Get in the shower with him. If he's had a long hard day then he probably showers when he gets home then right? Wash his hair for him and hold him and feel him up. Helps him relax and helps him get in the mood.

Maybe give him massages or have a nice bath waiting for him when he gets home, with you in it too.

Tl;Dr be nurturing you bitch