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So I just started college, and I had to leave a serious relationship behind. We still love each other a lot, and talk almost every day, but we had decided to break up for college and not long-distance date, meaning we're both free to see other people.
The reason we did this was two-fold. One, neither of us has had a lot of experience dating, so we thought we couldn't be 100% sure that we were each others soulmate. But the bigger motivation, at least on my end, was that before we started dating I always had trouble approaching girls, and the more I thought about it the more I was convinced that it was the manifestation of some deeper insecurity or sense of inadequacy. I thought the only way I'd get over it was by dating a lot.
By the way we're both on the same page on all of this; I told her exactly what I wrote above.
My issue is this: now that I'm in college, and we still love each other a lot, I have literally zero motivation or desire to see other people. None. I actually want to transfer closer to her after freshman year, but I'm scared that this insecurity (if it even is that) will only fester if I ignore it.
So the way I see it I have two options: either I force myself to go out and date without any real desire to, or stay committed and just wait till we're back together, potentially ignoring a big emotional issue in the process.
what do
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>>18726799
Fall quarter barely started. Maybe you really are in love with her. Make it through this month.
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>>18726821
I definitely think am. We dated for 2+ years in high school. Its just the possibility of my own emotional instability that worries me, because stuff like that causes people to feel dissatisfied in relationships, marriages, etc.
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>>18726799
>>18726839
Honestly, you are both going to change a LOT in the next few years to the point that you probably won't even recognise who you are now. This may or not may be bad news for your relationship, no one really knows, but chances are that your relationship won't work out if you try to sustain it. Take some more time to get used to being single, and you'll find yourself missing her less and less.
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>>18726855
You definitely hear that a lot, but I think that's another question entirely. Just to clarify, even though we broke up we are definitely both planning on getting back together in either one year or four. My question is whether I should date other people in the MEANTIME, given everything I mentioned earlier.
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>>18726875
Yes, of course you should. You say that you plan to get together in the future, but things can change. Like I said, you'll change as people, and you might not like who she is once you're done. She might have done something you disagree with or disapprove of. Or she might find someone else she wants to date and continue dating. What then? You'll have put your life on hold for her, and have nothing to show for it.
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You both sound like a very mature couple and decided for the best
Even in the best of relationships, distance is never a good thing, as it only subtracts from it, never adds anything
HOWEVER
THAT BEING SAID
I went through the same thing as you, since my first year of college...I am now on my phD, and still date my GF....we were on and off so many times...i dated several girls during these seven years...the more I dated, the more I realized all other women sucked and my gf was the best person in the world
so dont listen to me, I am a walking contradiction
btw....how far apart are u?
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