ITT. I want some attention.

File: 1492293274260.png (2MB, 1200x1084px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1200x1084px

>>18726602

I’ve always been self-conscious about my looks because my entire life I’ve been told I am ugly. Despite some beginners luck here and there, I still believe it. I don’t know why that man laughed at me in such a vicious way but it always reminds me of all the bad that there is in me (both physically / spiritually) and all the bad that might be coming.

I just can’t help but feel that due to something in me I can’t connect with anybody. I feel as if nobody outside my mother cared about me and I feel like the only impression I give to people is either laugher or fear (as some people in my life have expressed this to me).

I repeatedly beat myself by saying that it is simply irrational to say the things that I am about to say (mainly because I know I do not deserve to say these things about myself), but I think that it is at times unfair the way some people out there have treated me. At times my entire life and everybody outside it seems like a big conspiracy with everybody out there to cautiously pick at me at the right moment; no surprise that the deadliest blows always come in this manner.

I know I’ve done bad and I know I’ve thought wrong things about people and perhaps manifested wrong feelings towards others. I know I’ve wronged my mother and every day I hope for God to punish me, but only if he will make my mother happier. And, as absurd as it may sound to some of you, at times I do wonder if this is the so called divine punishment. That of simply being irrelevant. Nothing I say is heard, my presence is ignored and, when noticed, it is met with laugher or fear. Those that treat me forget about me, those who treat me for longer times don’t care. I can only think of 2 or 3 friends I haven’t seen in years. My colleagues at work don’t seem, in any way, interested on approaching me (and I do approach them, but just nothing happens).

(2)

File: dio.jpg (3MB, 1800x1322px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 1800x1322px

>>18726604
>>18726602

I can’t blame anybody. Not only I am not gifted physically, I don’t carry anything worthy inside me. I cannot properly talk without being awkward. The things I don’t want to say, I say them and the things I do want to say are never said. Everything that comes out of my mouth is incoherent, awkward or unfunny. I can’t talk with people. Worse of all, most of the times I don’t even know what to say.

I just wish you knew how I’ve done nothing wrong. How when I entered this new job I had a big smile and greeted everybody, how I said hello and presented myself. Yet nobody wants me, nobody wants to be near me. It’s as if I was a walking joke. It hurts at times.

>>18726602
>>18726604
My dude, you sound incredibly autistic. Truth to be told, I'd laugh at you too. Try to act a bit less edgy and think about yourself a bit less. The world doesn' revolve around you - just do you job best you can and be kind to other people.

>>18726616

>think about yourself a bit less

But I never do it, that's exactly the problem. This is the first time I dedicate some time to this situation and open it up to some people.

I know the world doesn't revolve around me, you are mistaking this for something else friend!

>>18726624
Mmkay, well from what I can make of this (and this is without digging into every individual item,) it sounds like there is an issue with perspectives of self-worth. There must surely be something -good- about yourself and the manner in which you act; and don't tell me there's not because that is simply untrue. There are things that you have done -good- that you probably haven't given yourself recognition for. You can't determine how others will act in response to who you are and what you do (at least not to an explicit extent), but you do have dominion over your own perspective, and with a little adjusting you're sure to find all that there is worthy within you and so on.

>>18726610
How about you work on yourself? Lift some weights, read some books, pick up some hobbies, going out and just trying to talk to people. You are still alive so there is time to change.