Paranoid I Have Klinefelter's/ Weird Balls

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Ok, /adv/. How do I get over my crushing self-consciousness about my mangled balls? Some backstory:

>super self-conscious as a kid and raised in a household that made genitals seem dirty
>Didn't feel comfortable talking with parents about stuff
>realize at 15 that it's weird I have 1 nut
>tell mum, who tells me I had that problem when I was a baby but doc thought it went away
>get surgery
>big ass scar, nerve damage, and nut still doesn't hang right (but they saved it)

Relationship w/ last GF ended because I was paranoid that I had fucking Klinefelter's because I have long legs, short torso, and they have weird issues with their junk sometimes. I get super defensive whenever people make generalizations about male/female traits and hate when I relate to the female stuff more often than I want to.

I work in a lab and am borderline ready to risk getting fired to jizz in a tube and put it under the microscope to see if I'm shooting blanks like someone with Klinefelter's would. Dick is below average too. I know the memes on here (mostly /r9k/) are toxic bullshit, but I'm dying here.