Found out we are having a daughter

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she needs to love and respect her father, and deeply fear his disapointment and loss of respect. she needs morals and values instilled at a young age. the trickiest bit is arming her with the discernment necessary to spot the propaganda and brainwash that will be directed to her for most of her life. if her mother is not on the same page as you, you have already lost. she will learn how to be a woman from her mother and she will learn how a man should be based on how you interact with her and her mother.

>>18722833
keep her close and your wife closer, do not let her get involved with anyone without your prior approval and investigation of their life

make her remind you everyday that she's still your little girl, and make her remind any boys of that too

boys become promiscuous to satisfy physical urges. girls to satisfy emotional ones. there is strong correlation between high risk sexual behaviour and a poor father daughter relationship. also, lack of discipline and intervention in her activities will be subconsciously interpreted by her as lack of love / interest. ie being too liberal will make her hate you and she will degrade herself.
> its not like he cares anyways
also when a girl says her dad is cool, that means "he thinks im a whore so ill act like one"

>>18722904
This, kinda. Don't be my dad and freak the fuck out when your 12 year old daughter sprouts C cups overnight because she was unfortunate enough to hit puberty in overdrive.
All it ever did for me was feel ashamed about my body, and then later on in life I overcompensated by trying to be as sexy as possible.
You don't want to be too liberal but you also don't want to be too strict either because that's another fast track to whoredom,
Especially in the preteen/teenage years, remember that whatever you try and tell them they can't do, they will do full force just to spite you. My dad tried to tell me I couldn't date, so I dated as many guys as possible behind his back. (And also to this day I still don't feel comfortable telling him if I'm seeing someone. I imagine sometimes that he's gonna just find out I'm married one day because I feel way too awkward to talk to him about my love life, let alone introduce anyone to the family.)

Best approach to love and sex is to just educate her as much as possible, don't try to exaggerate or use myths bc teens see through that shit in a heartbeat. Be open and frank about it, tell her the risks, tell her how to protect herself, tell her to make sure she's emotionally and physically ready before she does anything, and especially tell her not to let ANYONE talk her into something she doesn't want to do. Even if they supposedly love her, and/or she supposedly loves them. Most importantly, tell her you love her and that she can always come to you if she needs you.

When she starts dating, go ahead and be a little suspicious, investigate the boy(or girl, who knows) a little, but don't pry too much.

TL;DR, don't be too loose but don't be too strict either. Pick your battles wisely, give her opportunity to fail and learn from failures for things that will only affect her short term, but also keep her from shit that's gonna really fuck up a good chunk of her life

>>18722940
>>18722833
Also on that note OP, I would talk to your daughter (and frankly your son too) as young as possible about inappropriate touching. I was molested when I was 8 and it was because nobody had that uncomfortable talk with me when I was younger about the bare bones of sexual contact. I had no idea my privates weren't supposed to be touched by others, I had no comprehension of what even happened to me until I was in 5th grade.
I think adults forget that common sense stuff is lost on little kids from time to time. (Myself included, made my niece cry just last week because I forgot 3 year olds don't understand sarcasm and told her we were just gonna leave her in the car lol.)

As soon as theyre old enough to not be within your sight or care 24/7 (like school age) tell them about their junk, and tell them not to let anyone see or touch it. You don't have to tell them how babby is formed or anything, just enough to get it in their heads that that spot is only for them.

>>18722833
I am one of 4 sisters, and all of us are successful in all aspects of life (e.g. stable relationships and careers, variety of hobbies and competencies, 6 degrees between us). Part of this is obviously genetics/epigenetics (we're a high SES family), but I think my parents did an awesome job raising us. When we were growing up, they modelled a healthy and loving relationship, including a healthy sexual relationship, by age appropriate displays of affection between them (hugging and kissing when we were younger, making time for dates, joking about sex once we were adults). They taught us a variety of skills so that we built strong self worth based on competence, including sports and music but also practical skills like cooking, car maintenance and simple mechanics, home repair, sewing, travel etc. We were taught to value ourselves for who we are and what we can do, not our appearances. When we were getting to the age where we might choose to become sexually active, my parents gave us the tools to make healthy choices. They explicitly had "the talk" with each of us. My parents told us that sex is supposed to be for pleasure and that any choice we make is because we want to and not to impress a partner. They taught us that masturbation is normal and important to understand and respect our bodies. There was no shame about sex and we weren't expected to be abstinent, but we understood the emotional and physical consequences of different choices. We also have appropriate expectations of our partners such that we would not enter relationships that devalued us.

It is unrealistic (there are a lot of data on this topic) to expect your daughter is going to be abstinent. Instead of being controlling and emotionally abusive as others itt suggest, teach your daughter to love and respect herself, cultivate skills that will serve her well in life, support her education, model a healthy relationship, and develop her sense of self worth. She'll be fine.

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>>18722976
I wish I had your childhood.
Probably wouldn't be a miserable insecure fuck terrified of all socialization now.

ITT: A bunch of roasties.

You're better off asking this as a question in some big thread in the board where you originally posted OP, these are awful advices from roasties wanting youd daughter to grow up like them so they feel they're normal

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>>18723027
I wanted OPs kid to grow up the exact opposite of me.

>>18722833
You just happy you get to fuck your daughter one day pedo.

>>18722833
Literally just had one on Aug 30. I'm freaked out about the same shit you are. REe. First btw.

>>18722833
The most important thing is for her to know you love her. Spend time with her, get involved with her hobbies and help her with them.

>>18722833
maybe give up on your puritanism. you don't have to come to the dark side, but there's no reason to be afraid of reality. women fuck, OP. women fuck a lot. they fuck a number of people, just like men...but some, a lot more than the average man! boo.

maybe research ways to, in a liberal society, keep your girl from becoming a total slut. you'd want her to be one of the girls who at least realizes there's greater benefit to having sex with someone you really love.

ideally, she'll see that the greatest benefit of abstinence is a better marriage(s), followed by total protection from STI's. Maybe then she'll at last abstain somewhat.

>>18722833
So let me get this straight. Your biggest fear is that your daughter will have a sex life? My biggest fear would be that she becomes a kissless virgin FA like the lot of these losers and ends up posting here for life advice, because clearly I will have failed as a parent.

>>18723469
>>18723560

>>18723027
>ITT: A bunch of roasties.

Your wife is disappointed she is having a girl? Why? A dad worrying about his daughter is one thing but a mom thinking her daughter will be a whore is....interessting.

If this is how your wife is, you have already lost half the battle. I would know because my ex wife is stupid just like your current wife. Good luck my friend.

>>18722833
Most important is to teach her she can always trust you and make sure to follow through with that. Also make sure she knows you love her.

This also applies to your son. The best way to get your kids to listen to you when they're older is to make sure they really believe you have their best interests at heart.