Date. Who pays?

In general, if you invited her out, you take the bill. If the conversation is pic related, then hard to say what she sees it as. Don't worry about it too much and focus on having a good time. If she likes you it will become clearer soon and she will be looking forward to another date.

>>18720503
>you ask out
>you pay
That is the mindset I was somewhat thought. But I also understand the mindset that a girl doesn't want to feel indebted to a guy after the first date.
>this cannot be so hard.

I have never liked explicitly using the word 'date', because that puts unnecessary pressure on both of us. That being said it can cause situations where stuff is ambiguous.
>we live 30min apart and she is driving over to meet me
Makes me think she realises it's a date.

Most I could do now is to later in the day write her
>are you ready for tonight?
>looking forward to tonight.

youll need more than a sounds good to me, you only asked if tomorow evening is good

>>18720539
It is already set up, just didn't include more of the convo.

She is going to park her car at my place for convenience and we are going to ride to the restaurant.
>also would make it easier to convince her to come upstairs.

You pay. Only split the bill when she asked about it.

Do this or suffer the obvious consequences.

>>18720490
The rule of thumb is that the one who invites pays. That's usually the guy. But by the third date (and sometimes on the first) most girls will offer to split the cost. In an ongoing relationship you develop a rough alternation of who pays (without keeping precise score).

Special events, like a birthday, and cases where one permanently or temporarily has much more money than the other create their own rules.

>>18720546
honestly, we cant tell, you dont know much about her

she could suck dick with sushi mouth right after or she could cash in a free dinner then go home to boifriend to get her ass fucked

if you got this "far" you arent an autist and will see how dinner goes

>>18720558
>>18720556
>>18720525
>>18720503
>>18720490

no... this is pretty lame actually and exactly how you get stuck paying for dinner for some fat chick for 40 years. Just do something cheap(sushi is great) and let her pay her own half.

Then at least if she rejects u u wont have to know u wasted money for nothing.

>>18720560
t. Dateless virgin

>>18720559
I can't tell as well.
I have only met her twice and she has been writing non stop for over a week now, sharing a lot of interests and fairly personal stuff.

I just played the game because she isn't ugly and I could use a good fuck. I have no emotional attachement/interest for the time being.

>>18720556
>>18720558
>guy pays

>>18720560
>split

This is what I mean... keep it coming guys.

>>18720565
Except im not a virgin, and I didn't get laid by spending money on girls, they just fucked me cause I was cool.

>>18720569
You sound like a tryhard desperate wannabe-alpha.

>>18720568
im the same guy who said split before but thing about how beta the people are on here. Not that I get pussy everyday and yeah i get rejected all the time. Is that what makes someone beta though? No. Being beta is when you conform to ome shitty old fashion rule that rich men made up because yeah spending money on girls does make them like you but it's not a guarentee. If you split the bill and get a pussy that pussy right there is built upon a solid foundation which can not be shook.


Think about the difference. Lets say you go to Wendys and pay them $5 for a burger and go back with no money, are they gonna give you a free burger? But if you go to Wendys and the guy says "YO HOMIE" and throws you a burger out the window of the drive through, you bet ur ass u go back every night and he'll probably bein throwing burgers out the window again.

>>18720575
yeah but at least I dont have to buy pussy... what would u do without society? That's what makes you beta and alpha.

>>18720580
I'm sure you get real quality pussy all the time. Jesus, you're such a desperate obnoxious faggot only ugly drunk landwhales would want you.

>>18720576
>rule for rich people
OP here.
This bring up an interesting question. Although I am not rich I some people who go to my place might get that impression.
>uni student
>own studio apartment
>55inch 4K TV
>credit card
I worry that would make me look even cheaper if I don't pay.

>>18720594
That guy telling you to split is obviously a bitter poorfag NEET.

If you're older and you've got a decent income, then you should at least offer to pay. There's nothing wrong with splitting though.

A chick that absolutely expects you to pay is a piece of shit and you should just walk away and leaver her the whole bill.

Since you're a student, I'm guessing you don't have any money. In which case I think insisting on paying with your saved up pocket money is a bit cringeworthy. Though you can still offer.

I don't buy the whole, "who asks pays," cosmo bullshit. You never expect a free meal and you should at least be ready to pay for what you ate without any feeling of hardship that you have to.

There is basically nowhere else in society that people expect you to pay for them because you asked. It's only with dates and women always expect to be asked out. Hmm, I wonder who came up with that dumb rule.

Most adults would be aware that this is a date. For some reason though, teenage girls are under the impression people really want to take them out for dinner just for fun.

It doesn't actually matter that much though. If you're both single and you're having dinner alone together, then it's a date. The prospect of romance is still there if it goes well.

>>18720600
>student
>poor
As I explained here >>18720594 my situation might make me look cheap for not paying. That being said I have no income, but money isn't a problem (I am not buying her a car).

What do you suggest? Do the 'pay-game' or just pay behind her back?
Just want to increase chances here without being a douche/friendzone.

>mature people know it's a date
Well I'd not be too sure about that. I have met people in their 20s who are still dense. And I cannot judge this girl or how 'bright' she is.

>>18720614

Just offer to pay but don't push it. It's really not a big deal.

It's not going to make a huge difference in terms of whether she fucks you or not.

>>18720614
>>18720624
Im tsitll the split guy and if you want to pay pay. But college is tough enough and threes a lot of pussy out there bud, might as well just go fuck a prostitute if you pay cause thats how it's gonna be. Also girls in college know how poor u are u definetly dont want to make urself seem more rich just to impress some girl. If she likes u is $12 really gonna make her not suck you dick? It's not...

>>18720629
Why do you keep trying to give retarded advice when it's obvious you are completely clueless?

>>18720632
Except that you can get pussy without paying so why would you pay?

Give me one good reason, logical reason why you would pay? That actually makes sense.

>>18720629
For me money wouldn't be a problem.
>>18720594

I am more concerned with coming off as patronising / to friendzoneable

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>>18720490
Equality could be a topic during conversation. You pay after right or is this one of those pay at the bar places?
ell her in this day and age you don't want to offend her by not assuming that you're equal and that you think going dutch will be the best option and that you'll always ask before you stick it in her ass. That way you'll know if it's a date AND if you're paying. Two birds, one stone.

>>18720490
tell her "I'd like to pay since I invited you, is it ok?"
insist one more time if she says no, just in case she's only doing it out of courtesy
if she still doesn't want to after that, you split and thank her for the good time
Communicating is key

>>18720647
I think that because you're rich you shouldn't pay because she could use you for money.

If you could pay for a third date or second, then maybe you should. But I still think the first date, you should split definitely. I know these guys say pay, but it's easy for young guys to get taken advtange of in situations like this. Not trying to be a dick but your parents are far away you might not have a lot of people around to help you out or who recognize this. If you're in college esp. a girl should just like you because of who you are, she should be happy to go on the date with you. When you're out of college have more free income then maybe you should pay.

Im just sayin nowadays paying when your young is corny af. It's not cool or suave if it's literally your parents money.

>>18720651
Bad advice. You just take the bill and pay as if it were natural. Don't even bring it up.

>>18720641
He invited her out, he has money, it would be illogical for him to give the impression he's an angry poorfag NEET like you.

jesus christ just pay, you want to fuck her, most women are whores, if she wants to pay and insists let her otherwise dont say a word about it

It all depends. This is how I go about it:

*Random girl I met and we set up a date: modern society I expect her to have a job (if they have no financial stability I wouldn't fuck with that) and I expect her to have the intention of paying her half, at this point I may or may not offer to pay the whole bill.

*Girl that I invited to dinner to a restaurant of my choosing: in this case I have go into it with the full intention of paying the bill, and if they offer to share I politely decline and go through with paying the bill.

*Girl invites me out: regardless of who chooses the location, I always offer to pay my half or full bill depending on the situation, and if they insist on paying then I accept it (I was taught that it's impolite to decline a gift, and that's essentially what it is to me).

There are always exceptions to the rule, but that's normally how I handle it. Whatever you do never look annoyed when you pay, especially if you offer to split/pay andwere expecting them to say no, it just makes you look fake and cheap. Also, always tip accordingly if the serving and experience was nice; for some reason girls like that, makes you seem kind or some shit.

>>18720662
Yeah but girls knows im not angry poor or a neet within minutes of talking to me so i dont need money to reaffirm what is more obvious then the setting sun to them.

>>18720650
Makes sense to a point. But the thing is I don't really think going Dutch is my preferred way to go.
I don't mind either way, just what is better given this situation.

My thought:
>She already payed the fuel to come and come over
>I might as well do her that courtesy.

>>18720657
Also worth a consideration.
While I have not been blatantly exploited in the past, but girls are conscious I have money. It puts me at risk of becoming friend zone material.

Split. The whole 'man has to pay' is such an old and outdated tradition from when women didn't earn anything. And the fact it's still going today is bullshit.

You'l find that there are a lot of women either willing to split or pay.

>>18720708
This chick loves op she's literally hanging from his nuts she would not give a flying fuck.

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>>18720708
It isn't about willingness. I can pay, no problem.
It's just about what's more appropriate, how to go about it and what appears better.

>>18720722
She 'loves' me OR just crazy.
Then again...Who falls in love with people randomly?

>>18720490
Stop over thinking it. Pay because you took her out. Just enjoy the date. Being comfortable and not thinking so much is the best thing you can do. It's not that complicated Jesus.

>>18720829
If you invite her, just pick up the check without a second thought. If she insists on paying her part, let her. Or - even better - let her take you out for drinks where she pays the bill.

>>18720829
anyone, emotions are crazy

women are generally crazier than men

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>>18720984
This surprises me again and again.
She just sent me this. With an awkward emoji.

I starting to think I am not reading too much into this.

>>18720995
shes afraid shell be bad at convos, so the burden of carrying it is on you

pay no mind to it, can mean shes batshit crazy or just excited

>>18721008
Agreed.

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>>18721008
>>18721017

I'd clearly prefer the second over the first one.
If she is indeed 'nervous' at least I don't have to worry that she didn't get the 'date' idea. That is one thing out of the way.

Why cannot this woman just play it fucking straight? Damn.

Carrying convo has never been a problem for me and won't be tonight (I'd expect)

>>18720685
Underrated af

>>18721021
She likes you and is nervous. She also seems like that's her attempt at opening up and testing the water with you. Many people are scared of rejection or getting hurt after opening up, so they act weird. My gf did this a lot. And to this day whenever she's feeling vulnerable she does it. You will see after some time whether you guys are good together, that's the whole point of dating. Just try to have fun, so she can too.

If you asked out, you offer to pay.

If I'm asked out by a guy, I would expect him to offer to pay (if the date went well and he wants to see me again). It's just a pretty obvious way to make a nice impression. That said, I would refuse the offer and split. Just the fact that he offered is the important point to me.

>>18720584
Why are you trying so hard to tear this guy down. Holy shit, you're insecure. Cringing.

>>18721047
Nice to hear the opinion of a girl.
As I said in my OP, I was raised to pay 'as a man'.
I would be even inclined to insist on paying. But seemingly not all girls take kindly to that.

>>18720490
As a girl who prefers traditional values, I go along with what he does. When the check comes along, if he takes it I usually ask "Oh do you want to split that? No? Are you sure? Ok thank you" I don't usually just let him without asking at least once if he's sure, but I don't put up much of a fight.
If he splits the check himself immediately I accept that too.

I will say though, if our outing is ambiguous, and I can't tell if we're hanging out as friends or as something else, if he doesn't offer to pay for me then I assume we're out as friends unless he gives any other obvious sign we're not. So either make sure you use the word "date" to describe the outing, be physical, or pay. Otherwise she might not even know what exactly this is you're doing.

>>18721061
Insisting isn't necessary. I don't see it as man or woman thing. It's more like, "I asked you here, I'm glad you came, let me treat you because I'm generous like that" it's just a matter of making an effort to charm the person you bothered to ask on a date. That's the point, right? Picking up the tab is just another tactic to make yourself appealing. It just usually so happens the guy asks the girl out. If it's the other way around, she should offer.

>>18720598
Yeah the moment he confirmed that women are nothing but pussy to him made it obvious.

>>18721074
What I meant by insisting isn't anything ridiculous.
Just bringing it up and then resisting once when she wants to split.

>>18721072
I personally see it as a date. And I have reason to think she does too (without having mentioned the word 'date').
>>18721021
>>18720995
Makes me think she might be interested.
Or maybe not. All this is still a mystery to me, every time.

>>18721194
You're overthinking this. Go on the date, have fun, take care of the bill. Anything else that might happen is another story.

Its your duty as the guy to offer to pay first.
Its her duty as a girl to also offer to pay after you offer first.

Then you end up splitting the difference.

Haven't read anything in the thread so I'm basing my opinion by using your pic. Maybe it will give you another perspective.
If you just want to shag her you could propose to pay the bill by yourself. If she's a decent human being she'll ask to split the bill. Again, if it's just for fucking and you have some cash to spare it's up to you whether it's worth it or not.
If you want a relationship I would split the bill by default. The reason for that is because I wouldn't date a leech, instead I'd go for somebody who's somewhat equal so she should be able to pay for herself (unless you are going to a really expensive restaurant and she doesn't have that kind of money).
I don't care about colored pills, greek letters or any of that incel bullshit. I'm just an average guy from Eastern Europe and this is what has worked for me so far.
Best of luck.

>>18720490
Aren't you the Asian dude from yesterday?? Well you wanted to bang this chick if possible. If you pay I think it's definitely undeniably a date. Otherwise it could possibly be a friend outing

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Well....fuck.
Seems like she fucked me this time.

Just gonna be mature about this...

>>18721356

breh... it's over. if she truly wanted she would have risked. move on

>>18721356
OP, are you me? I had a girl almost identical to yours try to pull some bullshit about being too hot outside and maybe going some other time with some friends.
Just move on, my dude. You had nothing to lose from the get go so it's all good.

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>>18721361
Really odd shit.
Didn't look like she had AIDS.

Welp. Not gonna bring it up. If a little rain and wind brakes her motivation...
A bit pissed though desu.

>>18721356
maybe she's shy :3

>>18721393
:3333333333333333333333333

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>>18721384
Yeah. Just wasted half a productive day, some nerve and your guys' time.
Welp at least my house is cleaner now.

Odd thing is she is also a hiker.
A hiker who cannot deal with rain and wind - Wut? Not even some Irma level shit.

Told her it's fine/some other time (what is there else to say). Hope to be able to slowly phase her out unless she pops up again at some stage.

It cannot be so hard to find normal chicks who ain't boring on this planet...

>>18721414
I mean, you have nothing to gain from it so you might as well stop talking to her completely. It's funny how we've both got the same bullshit excuses from different girls tho, but what can you do.
She's clearly not worth your time so go look elsewhere. Good luck, mate.

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>>18721414
Oh man, that weather looks terrifying. Can't blame her for not wanting to go out during such a dangerous storm.

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>>18721452
For context.
I still have to work one/one together with her on a class project.
So making a huge deal out of this (by completely ignoring her IMs) wouldn't be smart for me. I still need her for that.

After that I shouldn't give a shit. Just find this shit annoying af. It's like they don't understand that for guys this is quite a deal.

>>18721469
Mate. I am trying to be 'mature about this'.
Not the first time and people are confused why people get annoyed/even bitter.

>>18721492
Yeah, I had the same problem. Back then we were going to be classmates for another year so I didn't ignore her in real life but I wouldn't really be near her unless I had a reason to.

>>18721492
I was making a joke about how bullshit her excuse is. I'm sorry for you, OP.

>>18720490
I don't know, these etiquette things are hard to decipher these days.
On one hand, you asked her out, so it just be your responsibility to pay for it.
On another hand, she responded by saying she was (in a cringey way) very much into eating sushi; one could argue that maybe she would have gone and done that with or without you.

My suggestion is to take her out, assume you'll be paying for it, but feel out the situation and figure out what she's comfortable with. You do not want to play the wrong hand here, it can go bad, but it doesn't typically make or break the deal.

my advice is to just be passive now and make her come out with a next date, so you at least don't invest too much time in her for nothing.

>>18721514
I get that anon. I also didn't mean to tell u off or anything. Peace.
Just trying not to be frustrated. But this is quite hard.

>>18721497
What happened?

>>18721524
Would you even be willing to accept a date after that?
And in that case even pay for her?

>>18721545
>What happened?
Fortunately she got the hint and stopped messaging me. At school we only spoke out of politeness but I really didn't give a shit about her. After we finished school we never talked again and I'm fine with that.
I refuse to be anyone's rag. If she can't act like an adult then I'm not interested.

>Would you even be willing to accept a date after that?
>And in that case even pay for her?
Not him, but after all the bullshit she threw at you I'd certainly not accept a date. If she left it at "can't do now, maybe later" and actually proposed a date later on then I'd have accepted. There's no way in hell I would pay for her, we would split the bill.

>>18721545
yeah reading her msg again it does seem kind off disrespectful, if she isn't particularly someone you want to have fucked once then I guess it's not worth it.

>>18721545
Just leave it up to her to do the next step.

Dont burn bridges, dont go virgin mad on her. Just stop messaging basically and let her initiate contact for some time. If she keeps doing that and eventually asks you to it then great. If she messages asking why you have stopped sending messages first, just say you've been busy or whatever.

Just play it cool and find more girls while you see how this develops. If she doesnt message at all then fug her.

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Got all the relevant transcript here for all anon happy to chime in.
Love to hear what you guys got to say.

>>18721561
>can't now maybe later
Well she did ask whether I was available another time

>>18721571
I'd really not mind a good fuck atm.
And she might be an OK girl. Seems polite and mildly interesting (fellow climber, ex ice figureskater, hiker. ..). Then again she might have some yellow fever.

>>18721572
>Dont burn bridges, dont go virgin mad on her.
I take a decent amount of pride for being a rather mature bloke who can talk shit out. Although in my experience this hasn't always been good for me.

>why you have stopped sending messages first
She is the one who started the convo. I usually answer and try some basic baiting but otherwise just reply normally.
I never 'initiated' anything with her. Except asking her out to sushi after a food fair we both wanted to go to indepenantly from one another cancelled.

>>18721611
>She is the one who started the convo. I usually answer and try some basic baiting but otherwise just reply normally. I never 'initiated' anything with her. Except asking her out to sushi after a food fair we both wanted to go to indepenantly from one another cancelled.

Read my post again. IF she asks why you have stopped.

>>18721072
>>18721047
"traditional values'

And their dates never got fucked trust me. These girls are money whores.

SPLIT

>>18721076
I'm back and it's actually not true. But pussy is like profits, it's the only thing that really matters.

if a girl tells you she loves you everyday but doesn't show you that she loves you.
She doesnt love you

If a girl tells you she hates you and sucks your dick everyday. She loves you.

The only way to tell how a girl really feels a bit you is what she shows you. So yeah in terms of love/ "getting the girl." Getting laid by her is the only thing you can trust. Everything else is a can of fuckin beans.

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>>18720490
If she's a feminist, split it. If she's traditional then you pay.

Don't let her have the double standard of being feminist and not paying.

>>18721611
Love how guys say one thing but actually mean a totally different thing...and they call us duplicitate, sheesh!

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>>18720576