>Can't stop thinking about committing suicide >People

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>Can't stop thinking about committing suicide
>People say life is good, but these people are socially developed to a good point, and they're only that way because of their brain's development in conjunction with social experiences
>21 years old, so I will never be on the level that they are because of this, and have always been deficient in this regard

My life is essentially plagued by a pervasive developmental disorder. I've likely got some form autism, so my life is excruciating.

I know my mother will be devastated if I kill myself, but she now regards me with as much love as the cat/dog. She sees me as a grown-man living at home, and I think she'll grieve for about a year or two, and she'll move on because I'm so old/matured.

My sister may carry it in the back of her brain for the next decade or two, but she too will move past it. She'll probably come to accept it was for the best. My father will do the same as my mother.