Eviction - Apartment Mischief Advice

I'd say you and your friend don't be a couple of faggots and leave the landlord's property alone.

>>18717055
I guess we'll group that under being crippled by being a complete pussy. Noted, cuck.

>>18717055
>t. bootlicker that would be fine with getting kicked out of his house

Remember to avoid anything that can get construed as property damage, OP. That will get you into deep shit. Leaving out things that smell terrible is always a good idea, but make sure they leave no lasting damage.

>>18717044
Cement powder in the S Bend and down the shower sinkhole.

Disassemble the water meter drill holes through the shutters used to measure flow and then dob the landlord in a couple of months from now for theft from a statutory authority.

>>18717064
Fucking gorgeous...

Buy mice, put mice in wall with food. Once food runs out mice will dig out of wall, hopefully with several extra litters worth causing a massive infestation of the house. Make sure to put a bunch of food in any and all ducts and other walls, so the mice can spread around the house and have food sources other than that of the new tenants.

If house is carpeted dampen it and put down watercress seeds deep in the fibers, as many as you can, thousands upon thousands of seeds, shit doesn't cost anything anyway. The new tenants will either have to remove the carpet or put up with their indoor lawn.

Tilt the hinges of the doors several degrees away from the doorframe (the tops of the hinges should be pointing slightly into the room. The door will still close properly, but once opened far enough jam into the floor.

Assuming you know your way around electrics, get a hold of of one the fittings of a lamp follow the cable somewhat into the wall or ceiling and short it. Everytime the lamp is switched on it will blow a fuse, most people will replace the bulb and try again, after which they will simply call in an electrician because nobody is going to be arsed to figure out what cable is shorting.

Get dry ice, a newspaper and several fish, put the fish on the dry ice, wrap it all in several layers of newspaper then put the entire package in the AC or some other duct, as long as it is hard to spot and part of the airflow to the house. The dry ice will evaporate, the fish will start to rot. Even after removing this putrid mass the smell will linger as long as whatever it was in contact with is not replaced.

Get 100ML of your blood, put it in a balloon or latex glove, hang the balloon glove at head height about 3 feet away from a wallpapered wall. Smash into it with a baseball bat, hard. Clean up all the blood and wallpaper over the now stained wall. Have argument with landlord when leaving. Later have friend report you as missing.

>>18717044
Tell me what it's like being poor and realizing that you'll be poor for the rest of your life.

>>18717206
>>18717206
Well, its like being your dad except I don't have sex with other men for money

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>>18717187
>Get 100ML of your blood, put it in a balloon or latex glove, hang the balloon glove at head height about 3 feet away from a wallpapered wall. Smash into it with a baseball bat, hard. Clean up all the blood and wallpaper over the now stained wall. Have argument with landlord when leaving. Later have friend report you as missing.

fucking kek