Long distance relationships

Be prepared for the fact, that he will be different from that image you've created in your mind from all the late night converstaions.
May be he'll be better, he'll be worse, but he'll be different - he'll be a real person for those two weeks.
Prepare for this, accept this and squeeze as much communication between you two, as possible. It'll be helpful in the long run

>>18716260
and you know for sure he isn't going to rape and kill you as the culmination to his year long plan?

I don't understand LDR people at all, too weird for me.

Yeah, I realise in person we'll both be totally different, I know for sure I will be, I worry I might become too much, I'm also stupidly worried about what clothes to take with me, I'm from the UK and he lives in Georgia in the US.

>>18716268
He may well rape and kill me, but I trust him to not do that, and if it happens, well the world's an already dark and miserable place, I don't fear leaving the world.

You can't live in a world of "What ifs" otherwise you live in fear and never do anything in life.

>>18716268
Also going to mention that my brother married his long distance girlfriend from Sweden at the beginning of this year after they had been dating a year long prior to that. My mum and stepdad were also a long distance relationship of two different parts of the UK.

>>18716260
be prepared to be cucked every night

>>18716313
LMAO, I specifically got back on birthday control as of last week for that reason!

Even the nurse said I was going to be in for a lot of sex

Bring it on ;)

>>18716272

Perhaps, different is the wrong word. You'll be a more complete versions of yourselves.

If you're feeling especially giddy, talk to him about some mundane topics - how's the weather there, did he think about visiting some special places and etc.

>>18716324
All our weather talk of recent has been about Hurricane Irma

I'll be there during Halloween so i'm hoping to visit a scare attraction that's near by during my time there, and also we plan to visit some animal farm where they have chipmunks you can feed apparently :D

I did ask to visit the zoo and aquarium but he thought they might upset me too much with the difference in animal welfare compared to the UK when it comes to places like that, and judging from what he told me, he's probably right.

Like I'm not a vegan or a veggie, but I don't think I like the idea of seeing the animals at the zoo in big concrete enclosures built into the ground where I look into them from above...

Plus he said there was a whale shark at the aquarium and that concerned me a little considering their size, I can't imagine it has much room to swim.

But all in all, it should be good, luckily we're staying In a hotel that will have our own kitchen to cook in, so that means I get to try his cooking :)

>>18716320
LMAO that's not what cucked means

hey
meeting with my ex ldr was the worst thing (long term) that's ever happened to me

but when we met for the first time, everything was fine. it was like we'd known each other in person the whole time. it was like a fucking romantic movie. it was perfect.

ive met other friends online and its super awkward in person.

i hope it goes the way you planned

i think staying at a hotel room is stupid though. trust me, ive been in an ldr where we moved across the world for each other. ive been madly and sickeningly in love with somebody over the internet. you still don't KNOW that person 100%, no matter fucking what. don't put yourself in danger.

I personally don't understand it. It's usually not worth it unless you really can't find anyone local to be with...

That being said I've talked to people online that I've liked and wish I could meet in person, but something local has always been an option.

You might get such of each other quickly too. It's almost like living with someone after never even spending time in person. Good luck. Hope you've discussed everything you expect.

>>18716369
We're staying in a hotel because it gives us our own space, he's still living with family at the moment, we agreed a hotel would suit us. So please don't insult it like you straight up knew the circumstances.

>>18716379
And everyone prior to him was local and my last relationship had my ex raping me, so y'know. Never intended to fall for someone overseas, it started out as just friends, it was a few months later that a relationship just ended up blossoming.

>>18716260

>I wondered if anyone else is currently in a LDR or has been
Have been in a ldr for 3 years, no longer together.

>met up with the SO
Several times, even kind of lived together for 2.5 months. Went on holidays together.

It's over now. Would I do it again? No. We broke up because he had to move even further and wanted to "experience life", lel. Now that I think about it, I was stupid, it's impractical, and you could find someone closer. Also, he "cheated", to him it wasn't a big deal because we weren't "really together". I really thought we were. I'd admit he's/was kind of a garbage person, he had his issues.

Been dating someone who doesn't live too far away, we can see each other as much as we want, almost (work, school, hobbies... can get on the way but that's normal) and I would not want it any other way.

I hope the guy you're with isn't shitty and neither are you, and that you both are taking this seriously. The key imo is to have a plan about moving in closer/together, so you know even if you're apart X months (don't make it over years), you'll get to be together, in a normal relationship. Think it through : work, money, family...

GL!

>>18716422
I'm really sorry it didn't work out for you, I know not everyone has successful endings, but I've witnessed two LDR end up working out, that being my brothers relationship to his now wife who was living in Sweden , and my mum and stepdad who lived on two different ends of the UK

>>18716410
lmfao, you're fucking stupid, i probably gave you the nicest response on the thread and based it on my own ldr which was, by ldr terms, extremely successful because we actually moved permanently for one another.

insult? i said its a stupid idea and you completely and conveniently skipped over the "why" - it's DANGEROUS because you don't actually know him 100%. i was living with my family, so was my ex, we considered a hotel room but ultimately inconsidered my life and safety more important than "privacy" the very first time we met. seems like common sense, hey?

you do you though, you seem like a rational adult who fully thinks life and its possible consequences through adequately

>>18716450
No, straight up saying something was stupid without giving reason as to why to begin with is in fact insulting. Look at you getting all fucking defensive for me just pointing out that initially what you said was insulting like it affects your life.

>>18716450
Not to mention, you make it sounds like a hotel isn't a public place, my family know who I'm going to see, where I am staying, I am giving all appropriate emergency contact details to the hotel too.

You've made assumptions going off your own personal experience to claim it to be better. When in actual fact, I've been on plenty of threads where people stated that for their first meeting, they stayed in hotels so they had a safe ground which was new to both, more of a reason for them to get to know one another better.

Just because you chose differently does not make how others do it "Stupid".

Absolute mong you.

>>18716464
seems like reading comprehension isnt a given, so here's a direct quote from my first post, the sentence directly following my saying its stupid to meet in a hotel room:
>you still don't KNOW that person 100%, no matter fucking what. don't put yourself in danger.

also, i dont have anything to defend, this is a fucking 4chan advice thread. i gave my rational and adult advice. actually, youre the defensive one. look at you, defending your decision to meet somebody youve never met before in a fucking hotel room like a prostitute without considering any of the numerous negative consequences of such.

good luck
just with your broader life
it seems like youll need it

>>18716434
You specifically asked for everyone's experiences. Why are you diminishing their stories with your two anecdotes?

>>18716486
Oh yes, you're such a mature adult making an assumption that how some people choose to do things differently makes them less of a person to you.

Oh, and how the fuck was I supposed to know you were the commenter about safety when you didn't link to your previous messages. I repeat "Absolute mong"

>>18716360
Damn, ive been doing internetting all wrong >:(

>>18716498
because i replied directly to your reply to my first post saying
>i gave you the nicest response on the thread
and proceeded to very blatantly expand upon that post

did you drop out in 9th fucking grade
how can you be unable to follow and comprehend a thread with direct fucking replies
and I'M a "mong", hahahaha

>>18716486
"Rational" would suggest you actually not being abusive by your advice, but you were. You would not be good as a guidance advisor at all if you're going to shit on ones intelligence as you do. But you know, you should know that, being a "rational adult"

>>18716510
"9th grade"

Wow, such a great insult towards someone who went through an educational system that wasn't based on grades but year groups, so I have no idea what age group 9th grade would be.

But seeing as I can only assume you'd like me to act childish

Dur huh u get mad by someone saying ur insulting for straight up acting like u knew situations dur huh

>>18716497
Only because of the comments of people telling me that I should be with someone local?

>>18716497
I'm all for hearing the good and the bad, but when people are telling me to be with someone local which all my relationships prior to this one were and ended terribly, I don't really want to be told that I'm better off with someone local.

>>18716522
Hi, new anon here.
Safety anon is worried about you. You shouldn't take it personally when someone says that your plan is stupid. This is 4chan, you shouldn't expect people to be nice here. Try and figure out what message they're trying to give you. Instead of going on the defensive, ask questions. "Why do you think it is stupid?"
Because you got defensive and aggressive, you put the other anon on the defensive. Neither of you are going to get anywhere. The other anon wanted to help you. You're the one who is asking for help and advice here. Now that anon doesn't want to help you anymore, and other anons seeing you get aggressive are going to be less inclined to help you either.

On 4chan you either need to figure out what people mean behind the rough exterior, or ignore them completely. That anon was rather polite to you on 4chan terms. Arguing is hurting your thread.

>>18716536
>>18716542
I'm sure your town is big enough that you haven't already exhausted all your bachelors. And then there are nearby towns. Even a couple hours drive away is more desirable. Those relationships weren't awful because they were local, they were awful because they were awful people.
If you live in such an incredibly small town that those are literally all your bachelors, and there are literally no nearby towns, it sounds like that town isn't going to give you a lot of life options. Those towns are better for established families to be raised or to retire in. Not for singles.

>>18716559
I don't expect kindness, but I also don't always like people to expect me to understand what they mean by things they write on the internet, because it's not always easy to know what people are truly feeling when writing so me just seeing "stupid" without a follow up to that comment in that actual comment and not separate, I may have been more inclined to not respond in what would seem as defensive.

To me though, from how I read it, it didn't seem like the anon wanted to truly give helpful advice, but more in fact belittle the fact my partner and I aren't doing it the way they did it with their partner.

Not everyone stays with their long distant partners family, many do stay together at a hotel first time because it's basically alien to both parties, it's a new environment for both,.

>>18716566
Does it matter if I haven't tried everyone from the UK? No. I've been with with 7 guys from different parts of the UK, even travelled to them because of a distance between even with them, but my very last relationship with a guy from a completely different town to me (I had to take a train and a bus just to visit him) he ended up raping me after we'd been together for nearly 2 years.

I never looked to fall in love with somone abroad, it just happened, I was keeping my distance from all men in the UK just because of my own fears of being hurt again (Not saying all men are rapists) but I liked knowing for the time I was purely just friends with this guy and it leading up to us having a relationship purely online from then until now, I had that safety barrier for myself.

>>18716587
Goddammit, Anon. Everyone just wanted to help you. No one even said that it's guaranteed to go poorly. We just wanted you to be cautious. It's easy to be blinded by excitement and love, so we can't really trust your judgement. We don't want this guy to hurt you. We're not saying he's going to. We're saying that it's possible. We're not saying that you should break up with him. We're saying that you should both be careful. He also doesn't know you. Maybe you're going to act out Stephen King's Misery and tie him to a bed and break his legs. Hotels are public in the lobby, yes. But once you go in that room, you are both very vulnerable. It is very private. We don't want anything bad to happen to you.

>>18716639
I do appreciate that concern of course, I am excited but something my partner and I both have expressed to one profusely is also our fears, which lead up to us choosing a hotel because both us will be seen on CCTV, when entering and leaving the hotel, we won't ever not be with each other upon leaving and entering our room.

I am grateful for people wanting me to be cautious but ive spent so long being way too scared over this that I'm trying to remain positive, brave and wanting to fully trust my partner to not hurt me.

I'm already stepping out of my comfort zone because I've never flown alone before and I also have bad anxiety, so making sure I have travel insurance and have contacted both airports prior to travel to assist me is something I plan to do.

>>18716657
Instead of getting mad at people, you could say, "I understand your worry! We've both talked it over, and we've acknowledged the danger. We're telling other people where we are and there will be security cameras. I'm willing to risk it."
I'm done defending you and the other anon, though. This is ridiculous and has gone on for hours. You started this all from this one line:
>i think staying at a hotel room is stupid though. trust me, ive been in an ldr where we moved across the world for each other. ive been madly and sickeningly in love with somebody over the internet. you still don't KNOW that person 100%, no matter fucking what. don't put yourself in danger.
I just can't comprehend how you have your panties in such a bunch over such an innocent statement.

I hope you have a good time with your boyfriend.

>>18716691
It's really hard for me to not lose my cool and I don't always think to respond like the way you just suggested.

I have learning and social difficulties for starters but I didn't feel like I would need to mention that in this thread :L

When i first met my s/o irl, i couldnt even look at him for an hour i was so nervous and overwhelmed, it was extremely surreal and a complete shock to my brain. it was a dream come true. Was together for 10 days then he went back home (incredible time). talking online again will be devastating for the first time. currently married to him (he's right beside me)

>>18716909
I know I'm going to cry once my time is up with him but trying not to think about the leaving part right now, I'm bad for doing that even within a day of being with someone I'm visiting or is visiting me, may I ask if your LDR was in the same country (like two different states) or were you in two different countries?

>>18716260
I actually just got back from meeting my online bf. We've been friends for 5 years before we started dating so I knew him a bit better than you guys know each other but it was great.
Definitely listen to >>18716264 .

Coming out of the airport and seeing him was the weirdest feeling. It's not like he looked different or was smaller or fatter than I thought he was. Just..seeing him in 3d as a real person I can touch. My heart stopped and I won't lie the first day or so was real awkward. It was kind of like having to build from 0 again but after that initial shock everything went to the way it was online.

>>18717056
did you fugged tho??? :DDDDDDDDDD

>>18716260
>Long distance relationships
are for stupid faggots

>>18717065
I stuck a finger up his bum xddddddd

>>18717066
so how long has your long distance relationship been going xDDDDDDDDDD

>>18717067
did he cummed xDDDDDDDDDDDD

I've been in a LDR for about 8 months. Living in different countries, but only takes 45 minutes by plane. We met after a month, he took my virginity the first day. The first hours were a bit awkward, but I quickly warmed up to him. We've gone on vacation thrice together, and I've mostly visited him.
We're quite serious, we really want to marry. He already calls me his wife sometimes and he gets sad when people ask him whether I'm his wife and he has to say fiance. I've got a good relationship with his family and they approve. His friends think I'm okay too.
I know he's not cheating if anyone starts about that, we both constantly chat from waking up til going to sleep. We send each other pictures of where we are or do Google Hangouts. We call each other all the time, and always watch a tv show together before going to sleep. Also I left stuff at his house, so it's obvious a female (me) lives there too.

Meeting again in November after nearly 6 months. Really looking forward to it because I will finally have my own apartment. We are over 5000 miles apart but we should be together sometime next year if everything goes as planned.
Also OP enjoy your first time meeting. Were the best 3 weeks I ever had.

>>18716260
Met my now fiance online. She lived in England and me in Ireland. We talked online for ages, met up every few months. Now, eight years later. We're living together three years and engaged. LDR can work out very nicely, I've never been happier with anything I did in my life.

However there are exceptions. Just make sure you're safe, especially for the first meeting. Don't take dumb risks. Also be prepared for heart ache when it comes time to part again..... God the heart break every time we had to say goodbye for another few months. But it worked out for the best. Best of luck anon.

>>18717056
>>18717459
>>18717859
>>18717864
All these were really nice to read and I'm so glad that even though there's been people commenting saying they thing these sort of relationships are stupid, it's nice to know that people can ignore that for their own happiness with their SO.

I only ever had my mum and stepdad's relationship and my brothers and his now wife from Sweden's long distant relationships to go off that they can work :) so thank you all

>>18718376
Believe in each other look for a solution to close the distance and most importantly communicate properly. It's more important than anything else. You can do it anon.