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Anonymous
Relationship insecurity, I feel angry/upset. 2017-09-12 07:29:35 Post No. 18715895
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Relationship insecurity, I feel angry/upset. 2017-09-12 07:29:35 Post No. 18715895
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Relationship insecurity, I feel angry/upset.
Anonymous
2017-09-12 07:29:35
Post No. 18715895
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My girlfriend (not at the time) dated a guy back in 2015, a man who she says she loved. They were distanced because he was in the military, stationed on the east coast. She was a freshman in college at the time, and shacked up with one of my friends (I wasn't in college at the time and barely knew her, I took a break for a year after HS) while she and her boyfriend were on a break. He says he felt scummy, being aware of her relationship. She broke off the fling with my friend and left the guy heartbroken and used, but they remained friends. She ended up marrying armyguy on impulse/being pressured after her fling. This marriage lasted until about 4 or 5 months ago, early 2017. I was the first one she told.
I had dated around, never thinking of her as an option, but her and I grew to be close friends. She was freshly divorced and said she didn't want to date anyone, and I had just ended a relationship with a suicidal girl. We both got closer however and eventually got together as a couple, roughly three months ago. I told her I loved her last week (It felt early, but we've been best friends for the past year) and she told me she felt the same. Things are otherwise perfect.
I have been living with friend mentioned earlier for the past three semesters, along with two girls. I don't get jealous when they chat on campus, otherwise they don't interact. My other friends have told me that he see's I'm a lot happier, and he's glad for the two of us. But for some reason, because of the history of both of them, once or twice a month I get in a really bad mental state that she has the capability to do it again, if she wanted. I don't think she would do it to me (I mean, who ever does?), on the other hand I don't think my friend holds himself above it, but the idea that it COULD be happening and I wouldn't know, drives me into a pit of anxiety, jealousy, anger, self loathing, etc.
I think I'm being completely irrational here, but how do I get over this? It's not healthy.
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>>18715895
TRUST NO ONE
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>>18715922
Thanks
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>>18715895
My experience has, without fail, ALWAYS been "once a cheater, always a cheater." Any time I have dated somebody who cheated on other people in the past, they cheated on me. It was generally after they cheated on me that people would open up and tell me the guy had done it before. If I were you? Going into a relationship KNOWING somebody has no issue at all with sleeping around on their partner is not smart. I would find another girl, OP.
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>>18716058
>once a cheater, always a cheater
This
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>>18716058
I'm not trying to justify her behavior, I get what you mean.
My only thought is, that in my last relationship, I never thought about cheating on her, but because it was distanced, I kept thinking constantly on how it would be so easy to do so, if I wanted to. I had opportunities to. I didn't, but does that make me as bad, knowing that if a girl threw herself on me, I don't like to think I would, but odds are I would have? This previous relationship was with a girl I was not as emotionally invested in, but I would never dream on cheating the current gf, because I love her. And no, I'm not trying to say I'm her exception. The devil's advocacy in my head thinks on this.
People I talked to about it (before current gf and I started dating) said that it wasn't cheating because they were on a clear break to see other people if they so chose, but it was still really scummy.
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