my sister killed herself yesterday. my oldest brother killed

Find a wife and make a new family. Your old one seems pretty defective OP.

True

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I'm sorry to hear that anon. Maybe help others? Volunteer for something, easing another's suffering will make you feel good. Also talking about it is good, there should be an anonymous group for something like this. Getting it off your chest will help

>>18714888
i have a gf and a kid. i know i have to pull it together for them, but no one im close to has even had a major death in their family.

>>18714898
im going to re connect with a friend that i got into a fight with about a year ago. shit seems so fucking trivial now.

Firstly, that's fucking horrible. My condolences.

Live for all of them. Make 5 improvements in your own life that you can attribute to them. Hold their memories for and dear.

>>18714901
Good to hear. Your family loves you, never forget that. Do you talk to the remaining sibling?

>>18714907
no he moved across the country and dad died of cancer and brother killed himself. left without saying goodbye, left his wife and married a chick with a black kid, fucking bitch cuck status.

>>18714906
Close and dear*

They're part of your DNA, OP. They'll always be a part of you.

>>18714915
honestly i was always treated like the black sheep, and i resent that very much (different moms). so im pissed that im even upset about it and im pissed that im pissed about being upset. they didnt listen to me when i told everyone there was something wrong with steve. i told them at least 3 times to sit and talk to him, but no he was fine everything was fine. fuck i hate life.

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>>18714914
Tough break. Focus on yourself and those you love then. You seem strong enough, do it for them.

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>>18714920
Don't beat yourself up over it, what's done is done. Right now just focus on yourself, process, it's good that you're venting. Personally this place ain't all that healthy, may be better to find a more compassionate and mentally stable group to express yourself to. Good luck OP.

>>18714926
i unironically trust this site more than any institution or governing body. i can handle shitposters i guess i just wanted to type all this shit out and get sympathy points. i just cant handle all this suicide shit what the fuck is wrong with my family god fucking damn.

>>18714878
Another proof of how depression is genetical thing you inherit. Consider yourself lucky OP for dodging bullet and prepare for your suicidal children in the future.

i know how much u love your departed family members, but know that everyone has a ''bad'' side. consider your family members suicidal tendencies a bad trait, and be proud you dont have such a thing.

>>18714937
im very very sensitive of my sons temperament. for a long time when i was younger i had real bad depression and no one fucking helped. and since im the only one that actually produced a son to carry the family name i have to guide him on the right path. i want him to have as many sons as possible and since he inherited the blond hair blue eye gene (skipped me god damnit) im sure he wont have much trouble.

>>18714945
Well, you saw it three times already. What were their symptoms? And do you thing there was anything anybody could do so to prevent it?

>>18714955
it started when his wife cheated and he came to stay with me and dad. i had never really hung out with him so pretty much spent the whole month together. he quit his job and was blowing through his savings at an alarming rate, but no one would believe me that he quit. he would disappear "working" but im sure he was either at a bar or getting pills and bumming around somewhere. its so fucking maddening, i was the only one saying something and it got ignored. i always felt that i could have done more. i should have

>>18714959
What about sis and other brother?

>>18714966
other brother happened when i was very little so i didnt understand at all. me and sister were estranged the last 2 years. its so fucking trivial, life is too short to hold grudges.

>>18714878
There is some inconclusive evidence that a susceptibility to depression may be genetic and run in families.

That might give you some small comfort in helping you see that you are in no way at fault in not "saving" them.

If your fear is that it might hit you next, there are therapists who specialize in this area.

>>18715033
i know there was nothing i could have done to stop it, but i still feel like i could have (should have). as for me ive seen too many painful deaths to inflict that onto anyone. at the very least i would disappear first to spare them the pain.

>>18714878
Detach your identity from it. It happened to them, not you.

As for the mourning, just don't be aftaid to ask people for support.

>>18714878
That's horrible. Please don't end up the same way as they did.