Talk to me about stuff

>>18713801
Cradle of filth has the best lyrics of any band. Exhibit A


And with these words like heavy stone
Cast against a guilded throne
With many legions still in tow
He turned his wings to flee

His eyes a picture of distaste
Drawn to tears and in there place
The dawn of time and fates to face
Through all eternity


You'll get there anon. Hang tight. What music do you like?


>>18713801

I need to drink more water and I have scoliosis. I'm also lazy and have too many clothes and books I don't use or need. I'm going to get rid of most of my stuff soon and focus on ... fuck, I don't know. Moving somewhere colder.
I'm not honest and I need to be, fuck the consequences.

>>18713863
Just throw shit away. Simplify your life. It's cathartic.

i quit my job the other day and my manager confessed that everyone thought i was shady and weird because i'm so quiet

there was even a rumor that i dropped acid everyday. feels bad

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Heres some rando stuff... I feel ya I'm at work and completely isolated In a guard shack. The only contact I get is saying hi and talking to sass factories. Im going to college for a degree in biitech and I wanna be a chad. I've already wowed the teacher and a few students with my notes.... Favorite band is project 86 "firefly without a night" is trippy

>>18713888
Your manager was a bitch. Never look back

>>18713857

I like them. They're, well, lyrical for a metal band. It kinda sucks you always miss out on the lyrics in so much music.

Thanks man :). I like music that's pretty 'percussive', a lot of plucked strings ect. Mostly indie stuff. Two of my favourite songs are The Breeze by Dr.Dog, and Australia by The Shins. Both have lyrics that really resonate with me.

>>18713888

People are kinda dumb and judgemental, at least until we get to know eachother pretty well. Especially in the workplace, people stay strangers for so long.

>>18713891
Good luck on being a chad (I genuinely believe in you Anon), all I want is to find a qt gf who I love, be happy and succesful. If you've wowed your teacher, you're already on your way. I'll check out the music.

>>18713863
Drinking water is so important man, some days I feel like shit, and I realize it's because I'm dehydrated. Carry water around with you. And also there's no easy fix to being lazy, it's mostly hardass work, but it's also more simple than you'd expect. Mostly it's just flicking a certain switch in your brain. Force yourself to work and the rest will click.

Set some goals and reach them, otherwise you'll just stay where you are. I know you're capable of more Anon.

Shit's so weird with me and her. We had sex, she said she liked me, now the air between us is dead and wilted.

What used to be laughs and smiles is now an uncomfortable silence.

I love her, truely.

but I know she didn't mean what she said, and when we had what I thought was some passionate love she was just getting some dick like an easy slut.

It hurts, honestly, but there's not much I can do.

she's perfection, I am mediocracy.

But you best damn well know we're still going to try our hardest to make things work.

I aint a quitter.

18 yr old college student girl

i feel so fucking lonely most of the time

i've finally made one friend, and i look forward to hanging with her on the weekends

my other "friends"abandoned me as i left for the bathroom at a party and never came back for me

i left my ex a year ago (we dated two years) and i fucking miss him

he's changed completely in a bad way and i would never get back with him because he's such a different person now

grind on chads and betas on the weekends at parties but feel so empty in the process

goddamn why am i so empty i thought i was doing good for awhile

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Ive been lonely as fuck so i came here. Thinking about going to a bar for the first time. If I go alone will that be weird? I imagine going by myself and finding a cute girl. What are bars really like

>>18713973
You never know until you walk in who's going to be there or if they're going to be cute.
If there's an area in your city near a college or some hot place to hang out like a midnight coffee shop with live music, try that... or go somewhere to your tastes

>>18713952
Same thing with my ex gf. I think about her every day still and honestly doubt that I will ever stop missing her. Found another girl who understood me but she just left for school far away.. I feel pretty dead inside when I fuck around with randoms. Nothing beats intimate understanding. Bounce back that's what my grandma told me lol. But we both know it's not easy to meet a good match

>>18713801
Rise Against is a great band with a great message. They just put out a new album that's pretty decent.
For loneliness, I'd recommend literally to just start going on walks everyday. Observe people, and you might have an opportunity to talk to them too.

>>18714000
i feel so drained from my ex... i thought he was the one

i don't feel like "getting back in the game" like people tell me to

i've tried, and it always ends horribly because the guy can never be my ex

i just feel drained, empty, and want nothing to do with dating for at least 3 years

it's been over a year i don't understand why i'm so hurt

>>18713801
The isolation I experienced growing up has warped my ability to care about minuscule things. Even after I conquered my depression and anxiety. My only aspiration is to transcend humanity.

>>18714055
do it

>>18714056
i think i will anon. If i dont i might as well be dead. The only path is the one forward.

>>18713801
19 years old college student
Rurrounded by lots of people but still feel lonely as fuck.
I've lost most of the "social skills" i used to have when i was on highschool.
Feel like i'm not satisfying the expectations everyone had from me when i started my career.
Started losing interest in what i'm studying and can't really find interest in anything else.
At a point in which i don't know if drop out of college and seek for other alternatives or keep going for it.
Despite of all the above, i'm trying to keep it cool because my parents are really supportive and i know there is people who are passing through worse stuff, but i'd still appreciate an advice.

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Every once in a while, I get a bunch of gravel from mineral deposits rich in sapphires all the way from eastern Washington and Montana. You can't really tell the sapphires apart from the other rocks, they're all covered up by dust. So I set up a table outside, grab a cutting board or something flat, and put it on the table. Then I'll fill a bucket with water, and while it's filling I'll separate the big rocks from the smaller gravel in the bag by putting it all in a sifter, catching it in a different container. After the bucket's full, Ill take a small portion of the sifted gravel and put it into a special sifter that'll only let dust and tiny rocks fall through. I take this, and put it under the water while shaking it around, which will make sure all the rocks are clean, and easier to find. But the problem is, during that process all the sapphires drop to the bottom of the sifter, because they're heavier than the surrounding rocks. The only way you get them clean, is also the way they're buried under the stuff you don't want. So you've got two options, dumping it out slowly and hoping you find them all, or flipping the sifter onto your cutting board. I usually flip the sifter, because it'll guarantee that while there's a risk of a spill, you can find the most gems that've been hiding from you.
Pic related, some of my sapphires

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>>18713801
I need direction in life, 23 and living with my dad still, college dropout, tho just reenrolled, working shitty jobs, broke. I don't know where to go, but seeing just about everyone do better it seems like, is fucking infuriating.

Finally got my game up to a point where I fuck super hot women, a feat I never thought I'd be capable of considering the level of aspergers I was in high school, but now girls all just see me as a fuckboy rather than a real human being with emotional depths, deep intricate thoughts and ideas, so I can't gf any of them since they will not take me seriously, it's like what I truly wanted, women in my life, is just out of reach. They down to fuck occasionally, till they have some better opportunity, and off they go. I suppose this is probably partially due to the financial and career aspect of my life, but damn I feel worthless. I thought I would be happy when I was fucking the hot girls, but now more than ever I see I was trying to fill some void and be validated, and I'd rather them actually want to spend time with me for me, like semi frequently, it seems many normal people don't have to work nearly as hard for relationships to come to them, yet I always struggle, I am lonely too OP, even still.

How do I become more exciting and less boring

>>18713943

You're not 'quitting' by not wanting to date a girl who used you for easy sex (by the sound of it). I wish the best for you though Anon.

>>18713952

It kinda sounds like the weekend party stuff is just making things worse for you. Maybe it makes you feel good then, but it's just short-term satisfaction.

I don't know if it's done much to help with loneliness, but I've felt better when I take good care of myself. Avoiding negative habits and Reading a book or working out, going for a run.

I know these things sound boring and you hear them a lot from people like they're an easy fix to major problems, but they do help you feel a little better about yourself. It's an uphill battle though. Take it in small steps

>>18714003
Thanks, I'll try to start doing that.

>>18714055
Can you expand on the transcending humanity part? I relate to this in many ways...there's an internal conflict in me between wanting to accomplish great things/have insanely high standards in life, while being an overly sensitive person. As a result I have such a hard time not taking myself seriously, and I wonder if it's something I'm condemned to. I'm scared that if I let go of certain things I'll let go of my ambition and drive to succeed.

>>18714074
You have it pretty easy but it's not a reason to invalidate your feelings. You still struggle like any other human being. I'm in a pretty similar situation, lost a lot of friends and I feel like I'm falling behind in life because most of my friends are going into their 2nd year of college while I'm waiting to start a program...and then maybe start a 4 year program while they start they're 3rd year. Shit kills me. All this because I wanted to switch directions.

I don't think I'll regret anything though. You don't have to fall in love with something (and you probably won't at first sight, with anything), but at least try things to see if you like them.

>>18714215

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9i2HAE-ZSw

It's a simple video but it brings up some good points, basically being interesting comes down to being able to understand yourself a little and express your genuine interpretations of life (within social norms). You can fake and formalize a lot of it, but if you work on it plenty you'll probably become an interesting person through some way or another. Do things. Fill your life with experiences and knowledge to talk about. Read a book or two instead of browsing reddit for 3 hours a day, even if it's just starting with 1 chapter a day.

In general, just try to find people who are a better fit for you. Go for the unexpected, because you'd be surprised when and where you find good friends. You sound like a good guy anon, you'll find them :)

>>18714244
I am slowly taking control of my emotions and thoughts soon enough i'll have total control. I've made realization we are just animals that inherited abstract thought and humans arn't as imposing as i once thought they were. I've peeled the layers of the perception of humanity I use to have. Its freeing. I can take charge in groups. I can ask strangers for thing and not feel any negative or social anxiety feelings. I can have conversations that are fluid and fun. Its like seeing the matrix. I also have found that meaning is created from the individual. I can break all my perceptions of reality and put in what i want. I am free from the the clutches of social norms and human taboos. Its all subjective. This would be great if i had aspirations as a kid. But i suffered intense isolation. I disassociated from things and had no aspirations or goals growing up. Nothing was THAT interesting to pursue. Ive completely changed my inner thoughts and have created a healthy dialogue with myself. But i cant imagine picking something and doing it for the rest of my life. The one thing i feel worth doing is just transcending humanity all together. I've seen the truths and i seek to become. The world is a play thing at my disposal but i have no interest in playing. Theres something greater out there. Thats what i want

>>18714324

I've had glimpses of what you're talking about, but I always fall back 'below'. How'd you change your inner dialogue? And have control over everything?

It might help to see a therapist for some of this stuff. I suffered from some sort of depersonalization I think, when I was on a dosage of ADHD medication that was too high, for too long. Extreme anxiety, every day. Something happened to me in that period, although I don't really know what it was exactly.

How old are you btw?

>>18714361
Im about 22. Ive been starting this journey since i was young always questioning what was wrong with me, it was very neurotic. It mostly had to do with the abuse my mom did to me growing up. I had a inferiority complex and a whole bunch of other stuff.

This is a process of the mind. Therapy helped Ive been going and getting out all the problems. But you need to do thought exercises.

Example A big problem was constantly thinking about my past abuse. So every time i thought about it (which was like every 5 minutes) id think about something i aspire to do (hobbies)or things i was looking forwards to.I didnt this every time those thoughts came up everyday for months. Eventually my brain pared past trauma with positive future goals. Then it got easer to quite those thoughts. You brain is a series of connection. Some connections are stronger then others. Those stronger connections are ones that have been used a lot (constant thoughts). Example you learn how to do something at your job. Eventually you dont even have to think about it when you do it. The brain makes things easer so you dont have to expend energy. This also apples to thoughts. You shoot to certain thoughts because there thought about a lot. So I use to have rapid thoughts my thoughts would fly around 100 miles a second. But now i can go long periods of time without thoughts going through my head its quite and peaceful.

To start changing thoughts you need a goal in mind. What do you want to achieve. For me it was happiness and not feeling worthless.
So when thoughts came up telling me i couldn't do a thing. I would immediately say i could do it. But sometimes the cynic in me would divulge and say this is stupid and i'm ridiculous for trying this thought crap. For myself id either just think "fuck you" or id rationalize it by saying "has being miserable and sad helped me move forward in life? no? then i'm going to try something new" You have to be your own cheerleader. Say things to yourself

>>18714378
that amp you up. Also this your thoughts are malleable. And whatever state you put yourself in ie happy sad depressed is by your choosing. Also theres the physical aspect of proper sleep, diet, exercise, body posture, and breathing. These can boost you in the direction you want makeing thinking easer to change.

If you take steps in this direction not matter how small they will snowball and completely change the way you function. Also another big thing to keep in mind. We think before we feel. So a feeling will come up then our brain will rationalize it. These thought are usually irrational. So when you have bad thoughts dismiss them. because there not truths there just feelings.

Also Certain words can trigger certain emotions in yourself. Its usually based of your own experiences. Start using those words that helps to build a better inner dialogue. Its taken me years to get to this point. But its totally worth it. No matter what situation i'm in, I feel in control, confident and relaxed.

Like i said its a process and the only way to fail is to give up. As long as you keep trying and stay (persistent) you will succeeds in changing the part of your personality that hold you back.

Lately, I've been craving an intimate relationship. It's funny bc I don't let anyone in. I have trust issues, a lot of baggage, and beliefs that keep me from venturing out and pursuing anyone.
I love being alone. I think there's a distinct difference from loneliness, but lately, the lines are skewed between the two. I'm not entirely sure what to do. Relationships honestly scare the daylights out of me, but I'm craving one. I'm literally craving some form of intimacy. I know this is just a phase but holy crap, it's all the more overwhelming.

>>18713888
He's more than likely lying or severely exaggerating cause he's pissed you quit lol. Fuck him

>Took this girl out tonight
>weve been close for awhile
>we havent been on good terms for months though
>we go out tonight to see a concert and drink a lot before going in
>were making out and shes allover me and shit
>not even half way through the show she gets too drunk so i gotta carry her of there
>on the way home while shes passed out i decide to go thru her phone
>found recent texts of her just talking to her man(theyre not bf/gf)
>her sending him nudes and shit like that
>she was also calling me a piece of shit and mocking me for being a virgin
>i was pissed off for the remainder of the night
>i know i should have never done that
>when i go to drop her off she starts kissing my neck and lips, that ends the night
>leaving me feeling confused and kinda upset

The night was bittersweet and had its moments but it ending up being shitty overall.