I have always been pretty fucking angry.
Got into plenty of fights over small stuff like somebody sitting in my spot back in hs.
Even typing this I looked up at all the holes in the walls of my room.
Holes made from anger over simple normal stuff.
I won't get into much details, but a random guy- a trucker, who was carrying some stone for my father's company made a small mistake- got his truck stuck and he wasn't sorry for it.
I got enraged and somehow contained myself not to get into a fight and make my dad not pay him and stuff.
Half of me is furious and angry and says I am a huge pussy for not slaming his head on the cement, but the other half thinks I made the right decision and it was no big deal.
This kind of situation happens from time to time and I don't know If I am just overreacting, or I am just a huge pussy and I should grow a pair.
Help me out here.
Being a man has nothing to do with being able to smash a guys head into the cement over something other than life and death. If he were trying to kill or rape someone that's a different story. In general, over reacting to stuff like that impresses no one and makes you llook like an ass. Controlling your emotions is a sign of maturity. If you ever marry or have children, you' don't want them to be afraid of you and you'll want to show them the difference. My father always taught me never start a fight but never walk away from one.
>>18709856
Well I am a 4.9/5.0 Primary and 4.8/5.0 Secondary Psychopathy...well psychopath, so i don't really care about impressing anything, not even my parents. I guess that is a solid point, but I already know that. Atleast one half of my knows that. How can I convince myself that that half is right? That is the problem. I don't care about family or being mature, impressing anybody. I just want to smash smug faggot's head in the cement. Sometimes I do it and it feels great, but other times my "better" half wins and I don't, but then i feel really angry about it. But when I act upon my "bad" half I don't feel pity or empathy about it. I don't feel bad at all. I am just trying to be good from 2-3 years and it has been really hard. Can you give me a decent reason, besides "that is the right thing to do" kind of meme?
>>18709887
Get a proper diagnosis. Online testing for psychopathy requires you to go forth choosing answers that are convenient to a facade of being a psychopath.
>so i don't really care about impressing anything, not even my parents.
This is not a psychopath trait. This is a lazy moron trait. Though it's not a good thing, psychopaths naturally try to impress people or make themselves impressionable to gain influence. What you have is convincing yourself that you are "too damn crazy to care about doing cool things."
>I just want to smash smug faggot's head in the cement.
We all want to. But if you're a psychopath you're not going to kill someone because he makes you angry, you kill someone so you can validate your personal ability to end displace someone from the mortal coil which will make a psycho feel immensely powerful.
>Sometimes I do it and it feels great, but other times my "better" half wins and I don't, but then i feel really angry about it.
Your idea is that the person you're going to fucking kill is gonna be a smug faggot that no one's going to miss. Except, you've focused your own "psychopathy" on the reason being that you'd happily kill someone that everybody hates vehemently... who wouldn't though? This isn't you lacking empathy, this is you creating this character who is a little shit and stomping his brains out. No one feels bad about doing something like that.
So a decent reason? You aren't a psychopath. Please get anger management.
Start training and putting that energy to use or enjoy jail in the future