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For a year now, this girl and I have been the biggest part of each other's lives. We're each other's good mornings, each other's goodnights, and everything inbetween. There are no secrets between us, and we go out regularly. Without a doubt I can say that I love her.
Thing is, she can't do the same.
We're not seeing anyone or planning to. We're each other's closest person. Our tastes and interests are the same, we're very warm and touchy towards each other despite being very cold and distant to others. Everything points to us being more than just friends. Yet she won't even call me 'just a friend' because it doesn't feel right.
At first she needed months to think about it. Rationally, she says, we'd make the perfect couple and I'm her dream guy. It's easy for her to sum up the traits she likes about me the most. Yet emotionally she's not feeling it. Can't even say it for sure, as it has taken her a longer time before to fall for someone apparently.
Recently she wanted to cut me off, because some time ago I'd spoken up about feeling led on and she felt guilty for still not getting those feelings after a full year and continuing to lead me on. In the end, she couldn't go through with it because she didn't want to lose me.
I have a great time with her, but I want more. I can't shake off the feeling that we could be more and those feelings might come if we start being more, but she's not comfortable going that far and shoots me down if I try to make a move beyond our usual closeness. What do I do? And no, I'm not going with a generic
>ditch her and move on
because that shit's cold and I'm not bitter enough to consider that.
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>>18709621
You're a time ho; an orbiter, emotional blanket, call it what you will but you're wasting time if you're not satisfied with just friendship which is what it sounds like.
What I would do:
Cut contact for 2 weeks, you might respond occasionally but never converse.
If she isn't begging for you by the end of the 2 weeks then nuke that shit and move on.
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Sounds like you're a nice guy and she's attracted to douchebags. Nothing wrong with being a nice guy but once Chad comes along and takes her out from under your nose it will hurt pretty bad so try and expand your circle a little. If you put all your eggs in this basket you will lose it sounds like.
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I need to expand a little from above. I have had girls tell me that they straight up have daddy issues and know what they should want, i.e. kinda what you're going through but can never help but be attracted to scumbags for that very reason. It so ones like if she could chose to be attracted to you she would be but she can't. It's best to find you a woman with more self control and a more mature ideal of romance than trying to please her.
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>>18709621
Some people don't realize what they've got until it's gone. I recommend minimizing contact, she will probably start to miss you, which will hopefully get her thinking about how important your relationship is to her. It's not a permanent solution, just time to see the relationship from a different point of view. That being said it sounds like she's the emotionally distant type, she may never develop feelings for you and just adapt. But personally i think it's worth the risk, if it doesn't pan out after a couple of months just get back to being friends.
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